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Primal Journal - Siobhan

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  • Went to church this morning and came home with very mixed feelings. We had a guest pastor, who was excellent and clearly put a lot of work into his sermon. It was, as usual, poorly attended. Lots of people don't come when our regular pastor isn't there. While it is a free country, and I absolutely don't want anyone to feel coerced to attend, I find this distressing. Our regular pastor is very charismatic and church attendance is way, way up since she came here. But the downside of having a charismatic pastor is that people seem attached to her rather than really committed to worship. She is a personal friend, a truly wonderful person, and I feel like a traitor sometimes, wishing that people were more spiritual and would show up even if it isn't a big social event. (I'm talking about church members here, not those who don't attend ever.) I often think of changing churches as I don't feel my needs are being met in my current church, although I owe a great deal to the church - my home, my friends. Things just aren't working out. I talked with the choir director today and today her that I am going to have a problem attending the Thursday night rehearsals, although I can come to the Sunday AM rehearsals (one hour before church). She was pretty cool to that idea. I feel weird about being in the choir and then not being in the choir. So many things I can't participate in because of my schedule, but no one seems to care. I don't expect them to schedule around me, but lately it seems like 95% of stuff is not do-able for me. The person I feel was my best friend here has been very cool towards me also, which I attributed to summer and how busy she is with houseguests and visiting family. So I'm thinking very hard about packing it in, finding a new church and going there strictly for worship, not getting involved in other aspects. I have often been drawn to the Episcopalian faith, as I enjoy ritual and structure. Maybe it is time.
    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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    • Have made a couple of decision about my diet in order to get a better handle on things. 1) Having eliminated dairy does not seem to have made any difference; in fact I have gained weight since I got rid of dairy. I'm not planning on gobbling huge blocks of cheese, but a bit of dairy is okay for me. 2) Absolutely no baked goods, even (especially) the gluten-free goodies. Baked goods have been my downfall since forever. If I want sweets, it will be something I make at home, and will be some kind of fruit cooked in fat and with honey. That contains actual nutrition, not just empty calories.
      My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

      "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

      Comment


      • We're Methodist, both families Methodist, but I took a long, 'from the heart' online test once that came back 95% Episcopalian, 5% Methodist. I told DH I should be Episcopalian, he said, that's nuts, we're Methodist I like the weekly communion in Episcopal church.

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        • I am going to look into this some more - get up my nerve and make an appointment to see the Episcopal minister. I have met her a couple of times when I have been to that church for various events, most recently singing Evensong.

          Notes apropos of nothing:

          After going barefoot a great deal this summer and toughening up my feet pretty well, I stepped on something in my own bathroom, probably a piece of glass from my broken mirror. Didn't worry about it too much, figured it would work its way out - that was ten days or so ago. It has become increasingly annoying. It's not infected, but a hard lump has formed and it is not fun to walk on. The last three days I have bandaged it with a doughnut shaped piece of gauze and a Tegaderm, and poked at it mercilessly with a clean needle (this is actually not painful at all). So far I have made no progress at all! The bandage eases the discomfort, but the foreign body is still there. Really annoying!

          When I was on top of Cadillac Mountain I purchased a very nice pair of socks in the shop the Park Service has conveniently placed up there - really soft and comfortable Wigwam socks. I got them because I had forgotten to bring any socks with me, not really necessary but nice to have at night. I like them so much I decided to buy a couple more pairs and discard some old holey socks. Can you believe I can't find any? They must be available. I'll have to go back to the top of Cadillac Mountain!

          After not being able to wear earrings for a very long time, I decided enough is enough. I cleaned everything with peroxide and worked a pair of earrings through the holes. I've been keeping everything very clean but trying not to bother it too much. Seems to be working! They are a bit sore and red, which is to be expected, but hopefully in a few days they will settle down and I will be able to have shiny things in my ears again.

          Ribs were on sale for 99 cents today. Yes - a whole rack for 99 cents. I bought two. One is in the oven right now and smelling divine.

          Very hot today, and overcast off and on. I have barricaded myself in my living room with the A/C. This is also my silent protest of Labor Day weekend. Holidays are not fun for me because of work. I get so tired of everyone asking about what fun I'm having for the holiday...uh...I'm working...I know it is just an occupational hazard of hospital work and I chose this work, but still I get tired of people forgetting that not everyone lives with a regular schedule. Also the tourist hordes are amassing in the town, making it impossible to do anything including get my mail. This is the last weekend when it will be this bad, and I should be sorry they are leaving and taking their wallets with them, but I'm not sorry. Buh-bye!
          My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

          "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

          Comment


          • Woken at about 4 AM by tremendous thunderboomers. Did my black mood bring down this torrential rain and virtually constant thunder and lightning? My ceiling is leaking, luckily in just one place that is easy to put a bucket under. The sad thing is that the roof is brand new - it was completed just before I moved last year. Well, it isn't my roof. It has been raining very heavily for hours now, and the thunder never really stops. The lightning is so frequent I had to use my sleep mask. I don't think there will be many picnics today.

            I have figured out how to get Slim Cat to eat. He has been worrying me greatly as he has gone from Slim Cat to Skeleton Cat. I was watching the latest Henri Le Chat Noir video and Party Mix features in the plot. Hmmmm. I don't normally feed stuff like that, but at this point I will try anything. I bought a bag of the junky treats and pushed them into his food. He ate enthusiastically, finished it off, and looked up for more! I can't believe it. Party Mix it is! At this point I will feed him anything he will eat.

            Being up in the night meant that I slept very late...very, very late....10 AM! As I have to work tonight, this is kind of tricky. I will have my lie-down a bit later.

            If this keeps up, the road will flood - I go over a small causeway to get to the main road. Hopefully it will be low tide.
            My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

            "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

            Comment


            • Well, be careful what you wish for...noticed a lively stream running across the floor and traced it back to the original leak in the ceiling, which has progressed from a drip every 15 seconds to a full-on flood, running down the wall, across the baseboard, etc. The ceiling at this point is slanted, and so the water runs down the wall instead of just falling like a good little ceiling leak. Have mopped and dried and gerry-rigged a drip system. I taped a microfiber towel just below the drip to siphon the water so that it falls straight down into a basin. The first one fell off as I didn't anchor it properly, but this one is quadruple-taped. I hope it works. There was a poster hanging on the wall that got very wet but it may be okay. It is not just any poster, but a limited edition from the first and only half marathon I ever ran in San Diego many years ago. (1989?) Although I was looking at it just a few days ago and thinking I am not that attached to it, don't really enjoy it much anymore and wondered what I might do with it. Seems a shame to throw it on the rubbish heap as it is really quite nice and is very nicely framed and matted. I pulled off the wet backing and I think it will be okay. The question is - What is okay? What should I do with it? There is a very limited market for a poster like this, in fact the frame might be more appealing than the poster.

              So far my drip system is working. Of course the microfiber towel will become heavier the more it absorbs, but hopefully I have it well-taped. No, I have not notified the landlord. For one thing, he can't do anything while the storm is still active. I seriously do not want him or anyone up here poking around and getting into stuff and since I have to work tonight, I would have to firmly show him the door in about 45 minutes anyway.

              Did a teensy bit of stress eating. I had cooked up some pumpkin muffin things (just eggs, pumpkin, spices) to take to work. Thought it would be a nice side dish for turkey or chicken. But I ate one even though I'm not hungry. Pretty good! Definitely for a paleo/primal taste, as they are not sweet at all. We Americans expect our pumpkin to be sweet, which I understand is not the case in other parts of the world! A French friend of mine spit out her first taste of pumpkin pie - she thought something was wrong with it!

              I wonder if I can get used to cranberry sauce without sugar in it?
              Last edited by Siobhan; 09-02-2013, 10:02 AM.
              My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

              "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

              Comment


              • Hoping rain stops soon!
                Female 55
                Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 165
                Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

                With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

                My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

                Comment


                • Cape Gooseberries are back! Or maybe you call them ground cherries. I just downed a pint of them. Mmmmmmmmm.

                  Left the house with some trepidation. I hope my drip fix holds, the basins don't overflow, and that no other place springs a leak. What a gigantic pain!

                  Slim Cat is eating very well since I started putting Party Mix on his food. I feel guilty about it - sort of like putting McDonald's french fries on your kid's scrambled eggs to get them to eat - but he is eating enthusiastically and even asking for food, which he never has done before. He needs serious feeding up. Animal or human (well, actually they are the same) when one is way too skinny with bones sticking out, just eating is important. Never mind nutrient dense yada yada. Now that I think of it, he isn't really getting that much Party Mix.

                  Feels really weird here at work. Just feels weird period. Strange end to summer, this big storm and feeling strange about personal relationships. Sometimes I wish I could take the cats and go live in a cave somewhere. (A non-leaky cave)
                  My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                  "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                  Comment


                  • Just checked out the Ray Peat thread in Nutrition. Very interesting stuff! He likes dairy and fruit!

                    Wonder what is going on at home...hope the leak isn't too bad...hope I don't come home to disaster...
                    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                    Comment


                    • link?
                      SW (Nov 22nd 2011): 333
                      Current Weight as of Nov 25 2015: 248
                      Short Term Goal: Fit into the shirts I got on my honeymoon at disney and universal in august next year when I go back to for my 1 year anniversary
                      Met Goal: Be a 2x Shirt, Fit in a standard airplane seat belt without the use of a seat belt extension
                      Long Term Goal: 166lbs (One day!), Buy whatever cloths I want to wear.
                      Pain is temporary, quitting is forever- Lance Armstrong #NoExcuses

                      Comment


                      • Here ya go - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread91809.html
                        My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                        "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                        Comment


                        • Thanks hun
                          SW (Nov 22nd 2011): 333
                          Current Weight as of Nov 25 2015: 248
                          Short Term Goal: Fit into the shirts I got on my honeymoon at disney and universal in august next year when I go back to for my 1 year anniversary
                          Met Goal: Be a 2x Shirt, Fit in a standard airplane seat belt without the use of a seat belt extension
                          Long Term Goal: 166lbs (One day!), Buy whatever cloths I want to wear.
                          Pain is temporary, quitting is forever- Lance Armstrong #NoExcuses

                          Comment


                          • It's been a while since I've stopped by! Anyways, thought I'd add my 2 cents. I'd heard about Ray Peat a while back and basically over the summer have reduced the meat and fat and eaten a ton of fruit, sweet potatoes and potatoes, and 0% yogurt with fruit. There is a plus and a minus to everything I suppose. I never really felt content on a high fat diet because I simply love the taste of fruit and carbs, but I don't ever feel sated on a low fat diet and end up eating a ton of calories anyway. Some days I eat nothing but yogurt and fruit all day long and enjoy myself enough that it negates any negative effects the carbs might have. Though FWIW I simply look better on a higher carb, lower fat diet. I can keep my weight under control and still eat decent portions, and I just have healthier skin and hair.

                            Also, your comment about potentially checking out a new church caught my eye. I've always been with the Episcopal church and love it dearly. Most Episcopal services retain the integrity of the sacredness, but also reach out and include the congregation in a meaningful and connected manner.
                            Most organists agree that the Episcopal church is the ultimate church for music. If you can find a place that still does Anglican chant you've hit a goldmine! even if not, I've always found Episcopal/anglican choirs to have a true vitality and sophistication.

                            You're actually branching out the same ways and time that I am- I've sung in the same Episcopal choir for 10 years, and never took the Catholic church seriously because of a few strong issues I have with their dogma- however I'm starting to see a side to it I never saw before- there is just so much reverence. People complain that the Catholic church puts distance between God and the people, which is true, but that distance doesn't have to be isolation- it can be reverence. Sometimes I feel like the grandeur and solemnity of a Catholic church is just what I need, and that even the festival atmosphere of the Episcopal church is not quite what I'm looking for as much as the quiet introspection and self-questioning in a serious atmosphere.
                            (You are probably familiar with the hymn Picardy, the description of angels "veiling their faces to the presence" is what a traditional high Anglican or Catholic service reminds me of- the purpose is not to hide who you are, it's just a way to viscerally feel the power of the "presence!")

                            Long story short, I'm not ready to leave my childhood choir, but I am considering joining a Catholic choir for the Sunday evening service... More to experience faith a different way than anything, as the Episcopal church still has the best music in IMO.

                            A lot of articles out there recently on the influx of young people to "higher churches." Young Evangelicals Are Getting High THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT
                            Last edited by campanella; 09-03-2013, 04:24 PM.
                            If you have a few minutes- please take a look at my story, in my journal
                            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread87400.html
                            I do warn you, I am a copious writer.

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                            • Thanks for stopping by, campanella! What you say is so true, both about diet and about worship. I have wrestled with limiting fruit, as I have experienced good health, high energy and weight loss while eating a lot of fruit. I personally don't find that eating fruit leads to carb bingeing as some people do. In fact, I find the oppposite. Same with dairy. As long as the dairy isn't a pint of ice cream, that is! Also, I struggle with maintenance with my current diet because it is just so expensive! When I eat meat and veg, I have to eat a lot to feel satisfied, and I go through food like crazy. I want to limit meat to local grass fed for ethical and health reasons, but it is just not possible at my current rate of food consumption. Throwing in some more sweet potatoes, occasional white potatoes, a banana or two, will make a big difference in my budget and also in prep time, which is also kind of onerous. Although I love to cook, I feel I am currently a slave to the stove.

                              I'm going to make an appointment with the Anglican pastor and talk with her about what I would have to do, or what she thinks. The Anglican church in my little town is very new and very beautiful, a true holy place. Alas, they have no choir at all. The church in the town I work in, however, has a choir and a wonderful organ, as nice as the one we have in my UCC church. To me music is very important, it is a vital part of experiencing worship. So we will see what will happen.

                              Here I am at work again and hoping for the best, as I always do.
                              My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                              "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                              Comment


                              • I bottled up some kombucha today, and will do the second jar tomorrow. I tried something different - instead of adding fruit, I added some raspberry herbal tea that I brewed very strong. It is fun to try new things. I am very pleased with the current batch, and I can report that the taste improves as the days go by. If only I had the willpower to leave it aging in the fridge for a week or so! But that won't happen, not unless I get a lot more gallon jars brewing up. (Which might happen...) I can also report the canning jars produce a superior product. The flavor is smoother and somehow more intense. Must be the shape as all other variables are accounted for. After collecting lots of old bottles, I will probably recycle them and get some more canning jars as they are very cheap right now since it is canning season. Also they are easier to store. And would like to note the strawberry puree worked beautifully, lovely flavor.

                                It was inevitable, it finally happened - I put my toothpaste on my pits! Yep. Of course there is not that much difference between the two. Pit stuff is just coconut oil and baking soda, while the toothpaste is coconut oil, baking soda, xylitol, calcium, and peppermint. The peppermint is the kicker! Provided a nice cooling sensation and smelled great. I was going to put lavender essential oil in my pit stuff, but maybe I will put peppermint in instead.

                                Watching a show called "Broadchurch" on Amazon. Those of you with cable TV might have already seen it, but I have no such animal. It is kind of hard to watch because it involves the murder of a child and I am very squeamish about such things, but I am really drawn into the story.
                                My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                                "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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