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Primal Journal - Siobhan

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  • I always try to see things from the other side, and the truth is that I think he is just lonely. Having a family around you doesn't mean you aren't lonely. I'm also willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and not assume he just a skirt-chasing adulterous creep. He doesn't seem to have any friends and if he has hobbies it isn't apparent. He has devoted himself to his kids, they are growing up now and not so excited to spend time with dear old dad, and he has grown apart from his wife. Very typical. But he is harmless.

    Also, this may sound a bit weird, but men generally respond really well to my kitchen. The main door of my house opens into the kitchen (wasn't built that way to start, but has ended up that way). My kitchen has pegboard walls with pans and things hanging all over, plants on the counters and in the windows, a nice window seat, colorful pottery all over. Not even remotely upscale, very homey and old-fashioned. Definitely a place to enjoy a beer or a coffee or have a blether while cooking up something. I don't really know how to explain it other than whenever men come in my kitchen (friends, delivery men, repairmen, etc.) they do a double-take and say, "Oh. This is nice. I like it!" Women, on the other hand, don't bat an eye. Maybe my kitchen looks like a combination kitchen-garage?
    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

    Comment


    • So much the better if he is harmless. Still, we have to be very careful with harmless lonely men. We can build up quite an emotional attachment to them without ever meaning to. (Not trying to tell you what to do. I kind of like musing out loud.)

      It does sound like your kitchen is a cheerful, welcoming place. Pictures? Oh right, no camera. Never mind. Cozy doesn't seem to be in style right now, and I think women are more swayed by home makeover shows and designer rooms. Maybe that's why they don't say anything. (Just talking through my hat. Again.)
      5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
      Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
      Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

      More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
      - Lewis Mumford

      Comment


      • Hi Siobhan,

        I've been enjoying your journal. So much of what you've written resonated. Thanks especially for the "nekkid in the rain" post. I think those urges are signs of your Goddess waking up. Years ago I got to do that on Mt. Desert Isle (when I was a lot younger). I camped alone for an entire summer in the park, thriving on blueberries, dried milk, and the kindness of strangers. I will never forget my shower in the rain. A true goddess moment.

        And I'll bet you're right about the landlord probably not having ulterior motives. Maybe he's just drawn to your goddess vibe and doesn't know why he finds himself wandering towards your door. Not that it wouldn't hurt to establish your boundaries. Safety zones, especially at home, are important.

        Sounds like you are getting very in tune with your body and your surroundings. A good thing to do when changes are coming, such as moving and menopause.

        Have fun.

        Comment


        • You know, I think you are right. I really haven't become comfortable with my female self until recently - I would say after 50. I'll be 53 in a few weeks. I spent so much time worrying about the stupid stuff we all worry about to some degree - I'm not pretty enough, thin enough, successful enough, enough enough! It has taken a bit of age to truly let that stuff go, even though I gave it a valiant effort in my youth, I couldn't quite get there. Now that I am well past the age when women in our society are considered desirable (not by everyone, though) I can honestly say that I don't really care. It all just is, and it is really okay. Also in my middle age I am really in tune with how powerful women are.

          How lucky you were to be a summer goddess on Mt. Desert Island! You could write a book!

          Steak and mushrooms for lunch with a couple handfuls of leafy greens.
          My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

          "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

          Comment


          • I wish had given my journal some kind of swanky, clever name. Too late!

            I discovered a fabulous dessert. Actually I didn't discover it, I read it somewhere, possibly someone's journal. Bit of almond butter, bit of honey, bit of coconut oil. Wave for just a few seconds to melt, mix it up well, and enjoy. Try not to make too many yummy sounds. Be sure to make only a tiny bit as it is very rich and you can't eat too much of it.

            Also consumed an apple.
            My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

            "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

            Comment


            • Yes, I followed the instructions too for naming my journal. Mark has no creative soul... LOL!

              Fortunately I am too stuffed to give in to your temptations, temptress!
              5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
              Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
              Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

              More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
              - Lewis Mumford

              Comment


              • Nothing to report this AM! Very dull here. (Dull is good.) Slept well, not hungry. Yoga now.
                My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                Comment


                • Boring is under-rated, as my husband often says.
                  5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
                  Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
                  Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

                  More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
                  - Lewis Mumford

                  Comment


                  • So true, so true!

                    Did an hour of pretty vigorous yoga. This diet has totally reinvigorated my yoga practice as the aches and pains that were preventing me from doing much of anything have disappeared. Lower back fine, wrists fine, feet fine, and as I said earlier, I am experiencing a noticeable increase in flexibility. Now I just have to get strong!

                    I'm paleo so far today - 1 egg fried in coconut oil, 2 natural uncured hot dogs, 1/3 cup of avocado. Put a splash of coconut milk in my tea. I inadvertently fasted for 14 hours since I didn't feel like eating, and did the yoga at the end of the fast. It was quite easy but I don't want to rush into doing this yet. It happened naturally and I don't want to put a lot of expectations on myself at this point.

                    I defrosted a turkey that someone gave me (quite a project) and it is in the oven right now.

                    I just finished Gary Taubes' book Why We Get Fat and What to do about it. What an eye-opener! I'll need to read it again to really absorb it as there is a lot of information there. Fascinating stuff. I also read Loren Cordain's The Paleo Diet, which I strongly recommend. To be honest, I can't imagine being strict paleo, but as an idealist baseline I plan to refer to it regularly. The principles are there, and he provides some great recipes.

                    This is my last day off - back to work tomorrow night. (It's about time, you say?) Enjoying hanging out with the cats - a constant source of entertainment, and the goats, also reliable entertainers. Have to go do some errands.
                    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                    Comment


                    • Walked around for two hours. Walked by a doughnut bakery and didn't even flinch. Only stopped to purchase a silver necklace and a used book. (I have to have some fun.) Came home and the turkey was done. Trying to decide if my turkey samples add up to a meal. Or if I should just go ahead and eat some more and make sure it's a meal.

                      Made a wonderful discovery - only three weeks ago I looked for Mark's books as well as Loren Cordain's at the library and none were listed. Checked again today, and several libraries now have a good assortment of their titles, all marked NEW. I requested everything I could find. They are all checked out (!) so it will be a little while, but that's okay. Maybe we do have a primal community here in Maine.

                      Enjoying a kombucha - addictive stuff.
                      My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                      "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                      Comment


                      • LOL! I looked up Mark's book at our library, and the waiting list was so incredibly long I just went out and bought it.

                        I've also been amazed at how much easier it is to resist temptation. I don't feel like I'm missing something good, but choosing something better.
                        5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
                        Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
                        Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

                        More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
                        - Lewis Mumford

                        Comment


                        • I found myself in the weird position of not being at all hungry despite having eaten only 900 calories today. I really felt I should eat something, so I had 1 tbsp of almond butter with 1 tsp of coconut oil mixed in. Delicious even without the honey and not really like eating food, which seems vaguely disgusting to me right now. I've had plenty of protein today, hardly any carbs. I'm a little bit tired, not usual for me at this time of night, but I have been very active today. I think some calming type yoga and then to bed - see you in the morning -
                          My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                          "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                          Comment


                          • Slept nine hours! Not hungry! Wow, what a weird direction my life has taken.

                            Yesterday I was actually strict paleo - no dairy, no sugar. I think I will be dairy-free today as the milk spoiled and I have coconut milk to put in my tea. Off to work tonight. How am I going to sleep this afternoon after my Rip van Winkle session? Oh well, no worries.

                            Slim cat is on top of my tallest bookcase. How did he get way up there?

                            Yoga and walking this AM - have a great day, all!
                            My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                            "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Siobhan View Post
                              Wow, what a weird direction my life has taken.
                              Amen to that! Hope today is beautiful. Slim cat has been working on his lateral jumps
                              5'10" HW 264 (9/15/2011) PSW 238 (4/9/2012) CW 231 GW 165

                              Comment


                              • Thank you!

                                I must be getting my libido back...thought it was gone forever...maybe it's the meat? I just noticed the guy in the yoga video is drop-dead gorgeous. How did I not notice that before? Now that I have noticed, I have to try to un-notice - it's very distracting.
                                My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                                "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                                Comment

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