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  • Yesterday evening we euthanized our old Mastiff mix. It was time. He was very old for a giant breed dog. He had health issues - and some pain. Finally, he had lost his mobility. So, it wasn't unexpected in general - but the exact timing wasn't known before yesterday.

    I'm feeling the need for quiet time to myself for awhile. So, I won't be writing here at MDA until I feel like rejoining the discussions here. Meanwhile, let me share a poem that a friend just shared with me.

    I'M STILL HERE.....


    I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
    I could see that you were crying. You found it hard to sleep.


    I whined to you softly as you brushed a tear,
    "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, and I'm here."


    I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
    You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.


    I was with you at the shops today. Your arms were getting sore.
    I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.


    I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
    I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.


    I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
    I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "It's me".


    You look so very tired, and sank into a chair.
    I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.


    It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
    To say to you with certainty, "I never went away".


    You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew,
    in the stillness of the evening, I was very close to you.


    The day is over...I smile and watch you yawning
    and say "goodnight God bless, I'll see you in the morning".


    And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
    I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.


    I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
    Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.
    I feel like I ought to be wearing a bumper sticker that says: "Don't follow me I am lost." I am just a seeker like everyone else.

    Justaseeker's Journal:

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post778214

    Iodine Research and Application Group:

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/group134.html

    Comment


    • Sorry to hear that Justaseeker - I've been in that situation myself and it is hard to lose someone who is a member of your household.

      Best wishes and I hope we have you back soon.
      My website: http://www.shoppinganywhere.net/

      Comment


      • oh justaseeker...I am so so sorry & I am with you in spirit & share your pain as we had to put down our beloved 15 yr old Chocolate Lab, Maggie a year ago last October. She was my constant companion for those 15 years & I was so bereft. She died in my arms & honey was right there as well. He & our son buried her in the back of the pasture she enjoyed roaming.

        Thank you for sharing the poem. It made me cry & I do believe she comes to me occasionally. Especially at the beginning. I will never have another animal that meant as much to me as she did. It will get easier to bear as time goes on.

        I'm sending you healing vibes & big big hugs!!!! Come back to us when you feel you are ready. We'll be here.
        Goal: Don't worry be happy!

        Comment


        • So sorry for your loss. I wish you peace mixed in with your grieving.
          __________________________
          age 56, type 2 diabetes, swimmer
          low carb since 2006 thanks to Jenny, primal since Jan. 2012

          Comment


          • Originally posted by justaseeker View Post
            You can always write to me privately and we could put our heads together to see if we can figure out that mysterious issue.

            I can't believe that doctor put DH on statins after those lab results that he got! I am all for not allowing labs to rule over clinical judgment, but in that case those labs were pretty clear. You may recall that I doubted that any competent doctor would prescribe statins, so now I wonder about that new doctor.

            Well, you can't force DH to do iodine - and he did give it a try in the sense that he took larger doses and not just for a month. But, you may be right that he needed to do it longer before he would see any results - although I would have thought he should have seen SOME changes before then.
            (((Justaseeker,)))

            I am so so sorry to hear of the loss of your dog. I will pm you about all this stuff later.

            Comment


            • Oh my, I was just catching up on your journal and preparing to comment on doctors. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Our thoughts are with you.
              Primal since 9/24/2010
              "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

              Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
              MFP username: MDAPebbles67

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Pebbles67 View Post
                Oh my, I was just catching up on your journal and preparing to comment on doctors. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Our thoughts are with you.
                Thanks, Paula -

                Please do go ahead and make your comments.
                I feel like I ought to be wearing a bumper sticker that says: "Don't follow me I am lost." I am just a seeker like everyone else.

                Justaseeker's Journal:

                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post778214

                Iodine Research and Application Group:

                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/group134.html

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Gwynn View Post
                  (((Justaseeker,)))

                  I am so so sorry to hear of the loss of your dog. I will pm you about all this stuff later.
                  Thanks, Gwynn -

                  Please do pm when you feel like it.
                  I feel like I ought to be wearing a bumper sticker that says: "Don't follow me I am lost." I am just a seeker like everyone else.

                  Justaseeker's Journal:

                  http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post778214

                  Iodine Research and Application Group:

                  http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/group134.html

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Pamsc View Post
                    So sorry for your loss. I wish you peace mixed in with your grieving.
                    Thanks, Pam -

                    That's how its been.
                    I feel like I ought to be wearing a bumper sticker that says: "Don't follow me I am lost." I am just a seeker like everyone else.

                    Justaseeker's Journal:

                    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post778214

                    Iodine Research and Application Group:

                    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/group134.html

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by jo View Post
                      Sorry to hear that Justaseeker - I've been in that situation myself and it is hard to lose someone who is a member of your household.

                      Best wishes and I hope we have you back soon.
                      Thanks, Jo -

                      The weekend seems to have been enough time.
                      I feel like I ought to be wearing a bumper sticker that says: "Don't follow me I am lost." I am just a seeker like everyone else.

                      Justaseeker's Journal:

                      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post778214

                      Iodine Research and Application Group:

                      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/group134.html

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by theprimalcajun View Post
                        oh justaseeker...I am so so sorry & I am with you in spirit & share your pain as we had to put down our beloved 15 yr old Chocolate Lab, Maggie a year ago last October. She was my constant companion for those 15 years & I was so bereft. She died in my arms & honey was right there as well. He & our son buried her in the back of the pasture she enjoyed roaming.

                        Thank you for sharing the poem. It made me cry & I do believe she comes to me occasionally. Especially at the beginning. I will never have another animal that meant as much to me as she did. It will get easier to bear as time goes on.

                        I'm sending you healing vibes & big big hugs!!!! Come back to us when you feel you are ready. We'll be here.
                        Thanks, PC -

                        I agree with you that it seems that they come to us especially in the beginning. This is not the first pet that I have lost or had euthanized, and I have always experienced a special sense of our bond just before and just after their death, even when I didn't know that they were about to die.

                        I had a similar experience of closeness and a heightened spirituality when my mother died - and I was with her in the hospice. Even the doves in the aviary at the end of the hall sensed something. They burst into loud song for a few hours before, during, and right after she passed. I asked the staff if that was usual behavior for the doves, in case it was just a coincidence. They said, no, that they didn't recall the doves singing like that before. I know that in the days prior to her death they were quiet - and they were quiet again several hours after she passed - basically after her body had been taken to the morgue.

                        We care for numerous rescued animals - from feral cats who were abused to dogs who were dumped on the side of the road - and other situations where the animal needed a home. We've even had a rescued lab rat. We decided to put a cap on taking in animals when I retired - when we were basically in the window for scaling down our lifestyle in anticipation of our both being retired.

                        At that point, we had seven dogs and four cats. We have since lost two dogs, both very old and both needing euthanasia. We also have one cat who is now in the earliest stage of kidney failure. He is only 10, but he also has had a heart murmur since he was six. So, we aren't terribly surprised about the kidney failure. We'll know more soon about how long he may have to live - which is always an educated guess anyway.

                        So, while I do grieve for each animal, I try not to allow grief to become debilitating. Our animals have all lived longer - and better - than was projected for them.

                        The Mastiff that we just lost was dumped on our county road almost nine years ago - in poor condition and showing signs of having been confined long term before being dumped. I think he had been chained in a yard. He already had arthritis, and also had heart worms and such a severely chronic yeast infection in his ears that the cartilage was deformed. His ears were also bright red and hot and he seemed hard of hearing. I suspected underlying food allergies so put him on a hypo allergenic diet along with the medication. Took about a year but we got his health restored as far as was possible. The main lingering issue was the arthritis. He was a sweetheart and was always happy. He loved everyone and mostly the feeling was mutual.

                        He was diagnosed with Mast cell cancer 10 months ago. Before the cancer claimed him, he succumbed to general decline mostly related to his severe arthritis. Now, he is free of pain and doing his happy dance - seriously, he had a happy dance that he did even when he was very old and crippled with the arthritis. Now, he is doing it pain free .
                        Last edited by justaseeker; 04-16-2012, 09:23 AM.
                        I feel like I ought to be wearing a bumper sticker that says: "Don't follow me I am lost." I am just a seeker like everyone else.

                        Justaseeker's Journal:

                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post778214

                        Iodine Research and Application Group:

                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/group134.html

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by justaseeker View Post
                          Thanks, Paula -

                          Please do go ahead and make your comments.
                          Sorry, I was MIA in your journal last week. I have lots of new people posting in my journal. I was trying to read through theirs.

                          I think that you are on the right track with the Nutrience vitamins. My chiro says that vitamins in non gel pill form are hard to digest. The body has to work very hard to use them.

                          It sucks that your new doc won't see patients in the hospital. Glad you have good insurance. I wish I could find a doc more amenable to iodine. The problem is that my husband does not know I am on it, so I can't justify the need for a new doc. I posted something in the iodine group that I would like your thoughts on when you feel up to it. I will also be sending you a PM about our "friend".

                          I hope you have a good day.
                          Primal since 9/24/2010
                          "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                          MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by justaseeker View Post
                            Thanks, PC -

                            I agree with you that it seems that they come to us especially in the beginning. This is not the first pet that I have lost or had euthanized, and I have always experienced a special sense of our bond just before and just after their death, even when I didn't know that they were about to die.

                            I had a similar experience of closeness and a heightened spirituality when my mother died - and I was with her in the hospice. Even the doves in the aviary at the end of the hall sensed something. They burst into loud song for a few hours before, during, and right after she passed. I asked the staff if that was usual behavior for the doves, in case it was just a coincidence. They said, no, that they didn't recall the doves singing like that before. I know that in the days prior to her death they were quiet - and they were quiet again several hours after she passed - basically after her body had been taken to the morgue.

                            We care for numerous rescued animals - from feral cats who were abused to dogs who were dumped on the side of the road - and other situations where the animal needed a home. We've even had a rescued lab rat. We decided to put a cap on taking in animals when I retired - when we were basically in the window for scaling down our lifestyle in anticipation of our both being retired.

                            At that point, we had seven dogs and four cats. We have since lost two dogs, both very old and both needing euthanasia. We also have one cat who is now in the earliest stage of kidney failure. He is only 10, but he also has had a heart murmur since he was six. So, we aren't terribly surprised about the kidney failure. We'll know more soon about how long he may have to live - which is always an educated guess anyway.

                            So, while I do grieve for each animal, I try not to allow grief to become debilitating. Our animals have all lived longer than was projected for them.

                            The Mastiff that we just lost was dumped on our county road almost nine years ago - in poor condition and showing signs of having been confined long term before being dumped. I think he had been chained in a yard. He already had arthritis, and also had heart worms and such a severely chronic yeast infection in his ears that the cartilage was deformed. His ears were also bright red and hot and he seemed hard of hearing. I suspected underlying food allergies so put him on a hypo allergenic diet along with the medication. Took about a year but we got his health restored as far as was possible. The main lingering issue was the arthritis. He was a sweetheart and was always happy. He loved everyone and mostly the feeling was mutual.

                            He was diagnosed with Mast cell cancer 10 months ago. Before the cancer claimed him, he succumbed to general decline mostly related to his severe arthritis. Now, he is free of pain and doing his happy dance - seriously, he had a happy dance that he did even when he was very old and crippled with the arthritis. Now, he is doing it pain free .
                            Justaseeker,

                            That is an amazing story about your mom. My friend's father passed away last year. There was a cat in the assisted living that could sense death. If someone was about to die, the cat would go lay on the bed with them. Scary yet comforting.

                            Sounds like you gave the Mastiff (and your other animals) a wonderful home.

                            Gwynn

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Pebbles67 View Post
                              Sorry, I was MIA in your journal last week. I have lots of new people posting in my journal. I was trying to read through theirs.

                              I think that you are on the right track with the Nutrience vitamins. My chiro says that vitamins in non gel pill form are hard to digest. The body has to work very hard to use them.

                              It sucks that your new doc won't see patients in the hospital. Glad you have good insurance. I wish I could find a doc more amenable to iodine. The problem is that my husband does not know I am on it, so I can't justify the need for a new doc. I posted something in the iodine group that I would like your thoughts on when you feel up to it. I will also be sending you a PM about our "friend".

                              I hope you have a good day.
                              No problem about being "MIA"!

                              Yes, I think that the Nutreince will be my new multi mainstay now. I seem to be doing quite well on this new approach to supplementation - and with the new approach to eating. My stomach continues to improve. My early morning fasting blood sugar is improving - ranges from 97 to 109 now. My blood sugar over the day is also improving in general. And, this improvement is independent of any increase in exercise since I haven't yet made those changes.

                              I have settled on seeing the new DO simply as a specialist to supervise my iodine supplementation, with an emphasis on changing the thyroid meds to a natural replacement done by body weight and symptoms. I hope that my MD will go along with my plans. But, if she doesn't - well - there are many other doctors here who might. I won't leave my MD, but if she fires me then maybe the new DO can recommend someone else who will be more compatible.

                              I already responded to your comments at the iodine group - and will be watching for your pm.
                              Last edited by justaseeker; 04-16-2012, 12:12 PM.
                              I feel like I ought to be wearing a bumper sticker that says: "Don't follow me I am lost." I am just a seeker like everyone else.

                              Justaseeker's Journal:

                              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post778214

                              Iodine Research and Application Group:

                              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/group134.html

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Gwynn View Post
                                Justaseeker,

                                That is an amazing story about your mom. My friend's father passed away last year. There was a cat in the assisted living that could sense death. If someone was about to die, the cat would go lay on the bed with them. Scary yet comforting.

                                Sounds like you gave the Mastiff (and your other animals) a wonderful home.

                                Gwynn
                                Thanks, Gwynn. I've heard about cats like that. The cat that I had euthanized many years ago - due to advanced cancer throughout her abdominal area - knew that she was dying and sought me out. She had always been an independent cat - but the week before her death she was stuck to me like glue. I was on break and at home so I just made her a special place on my bed - a pillow with a heating pad covered with a towel - and a blanket for covering her. She was super cold all the time near the end. I stayed on the bed with her and read or wrote and petted her as much as she wanted. She purred so hard her whole body shook. Some animals will go off to be by themselves when they die. Either way makes sense to me - but I am glad when I can be there with/for them.
                                I feel like I ought to be wearing a bumper sticker that says: "Don't follow me I am lost." I am just a seeker like everyone else.

                                Justaseeker's Journal:

                                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post778214

                                Iodine Research and Application Group:

                                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/group134.html

                                Comment

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