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Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story

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  • I'm in a bit of a funk today. I just want to curl up on the couch and watch old movies on the hallmark channel or something! I think maybe its just a seasonal mood swing - as the weather gets cold and the world around me seems to be dying I tend to get a bit blue. I hate this time of year.

    But -I need to walk. I'm going to walk to a park that has a path all the way around it and goes down to the river. Its a pretty walk - not too many trees though - the park is mostly open grass area for playing soccer and stuff. I've taken a bike ride there, and walked with hubby but never walked alone.

    I also need to get the leaf blower out and do some clean up again. Dang tree's just keep making a mess of my driveway and lawn!!! The Catalpa tree is losing its leaves quite early this year. Normally they are still falling when we are putting out the Christmas decorations - but its practically bare already! I've been expecting this winter to be a very harsh and cold one - hope I'm wrong, but we are due for a good cold and nasty winter.

    Dinner tonight will be beanless chili. It came out really good. I need to remember to take an antacid before I eat cuz tomato based dishes send my tummy into fits of pain! I supposed that means I should avoid nightshades huh?

    Personal marital TMI coming next - skip if you don't care to know the intricacies of my marriage!

    I had a "talk" with hubby this morning at about 5 am - after he wanted a morning quicky (didn't get it). One of those talks that a man and wife need to have every now and again because most husbands are just basically bone-heads and need to be reminded that a little tenderness and romance now and then won't kill him. Have you seen Mrs. Doubtfire - where "she" is telling Miranda that Mr. Doubtfire's idea of foreplay was to say, "Effie, brace yourself!" ........... well, sometimes I feel like I'm married to Mr. Doubtfire. The romance has been missing for far too long! And I can only take so much groping and pawing before I'm ready to start slapping his hands!!! I think my "girls" are his security blanket at night - if he doesn't have ahold of one I wonder if he's dead! So -- I had to be mean and tell him he isn't meeting my needs and my emotional gas tank is totally empty!!!! Why don't men see this for themselves so we don't have to get all pitiful and needy and cry and be a complaining bag of mush! I hate having to go there and have that conversation. When I was married to the ex I would have to go there about every 6 months - and then he would accuse me of being "critical"! So I have a huge fear of bringing up the subject with hubby. We've been married for 11 years now, and I may have brought it up once or twice so far - not that it didn't need to be brought up more often - but I'm scared to bring it up cuz I don't want to be accused of being "critical"!!! To be totally honest - I think part of my libido problem is due to hubby's lack of attending to my needs for tenderness and romance. Things weren't like this in the early years........ he used to be very aware of my needs. I think he's just gotten lazy. Mind you - I'm not talking about bedroom needs........ I'm talking about everything. I hope I'm not making him sound like an ass........... cuz he really isn't. He's a wonderful man........ he's just forgot that a nice long hug or a hand on my cheek (face) is a very loving gesture. He'd rather grab my other cheeks - or go for the girls as my hands are wrist deep in meatloaf mix so I can't wriggle away! There's just no BALANCE between the typical sexual touches - and the gentle, loving touches. Its like 95% sexual. AND I'M SICK OF IT! Its getting so I flinch when I see him reaching my direction. Why is it men want their wives to be sexual vixens and ready at a moments notice............. but they don't think about being our Romeo? If he wants a porn queen he better learn to be a romance king!

    He said he understood what I was saying........... now lets see if he can put it into practice.

    OKAY ---- end of marital rant.

    On that note........... I'm heading out for my walk. Then tackling the leaf issue. Tomorrow is my free friday! I might just stay in my jammies all day and watch movies. Maybe I should make a run to Red Box and get a good selection of chick flicks.
    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
    2. Eat to heal
    3. Move to live
    4. Embrace today
    5. Live with intention
    6. Respect my body
    7. Cultivate joy
    8. Find my passion
    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

    Comment


    • I understand. Just once I would like for things to get fixed without having to ask! If my house is in order, I get coffee in bed occasionally, and a foot rub I'm much more likely to be in the mood.
      Female 55
      Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 165
      Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

      With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

      My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

      Comment


      • Yup........ fixing things is another issue! The towel bar (mine) in our masterbath was broken and on the floor for a month before he finally fixed it.

        don't get me wrong - I love this man like a bear loves honey........ but he can make me crazy for sure!

        I walked 2 miles in just 30 minutes. My pace is increasing I love feeling the hamstring muscles working as I'm walking! I'm getting stronger - and I'm loving it! but it is getting pretty cold and I need to remember to take my scarf! My UnderAll bottoms wouldn't be a bad idea either.

        I didn't weight this morning.......... just couldn't face another bad number. But I don't feel quite so puffy and bloated today so maybe its beginning to pass. I sure hope so.
        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
        2. Eat to heal
        3. Move to live
        4. Embrace today
        5. Live with intention
        6. Respect my body
        7. Cultivate joy
        8. Find my passion
        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

        Comment


        • Most men have some trouble getting that. The occasional talk is needed.

          So you're liking stevia, are you? I like it if there's fruit or cream involved, and it's not too bad in Judg Fudg. If you like it in straight tea, so much the better. It won't set you up for diabetes, and there are no weird chemicals involved.
          5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
          Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
          Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

          More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
          - Lewis Mumford

          Comment


          • Judg - we're cross posting!

            Yes, the stevia is working nicely in my tea. It tastes just like real sugar.
            1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
            2. Eat to heal
            3. Move to live
            4. Embrace today
            5. Live with intention
            6. Respect my body
            7. Cultivate joy
            8. Find my passion
            9. Meditate on peace in my soul

            Comment


            • That should help you a lot. A little bowl of frozen blueberries with stevia and cream tastes just as good to me as a bowl of ice cream. It tastes decadent, but it isn't. Best of both worlds.
              5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
              Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
              Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

              More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
              - Lewis Mumford

              Comment


              • well - its not completely primal......... but close-ish I'm baking a cornbread made with almond flour and honey instead of wheat flour and sugar. The corn meal technically is not primal......... but, what else goes with chili - but cornbread??? I'm anxious to see how it turns out!
                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                2. Eat to heal
                3. Move to live
                4. Embrace today
                5. Live with intention
                6. Respect my body
                7. Cultivate joy
                8. Find my passion
                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                Comment


                • Originally posted by tomi View Post
                  well - its not completely primal......... but close-ish I'm baking a cornbread made with almond flour and honey instead of wheat flour and sugar. The corn meal technically is not primal......... but, what else goes with chili - but cornbread??? I'm anxious to see how it turns out!
                  I'd like to know also. Could use it in stuffing next week, if you share........
                  Female 55
                  Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 165
                  Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

                  With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

                  My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

                  Comment


                  • I used the recipe off the cornmeal box and just changed out almond meal/flour for reg. flour - and honey for sugar. Its almost done so I will tell you in ............. minutes..... tick tock.... tick tock....

                    ding!!!

                    ooops - forgot to finish this and click "post"!

                    Yes, the cornbread turned out wonderful! I ate a peice that was way too big!! actually didn't finish it.
                    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                    2. Eat to heal
                    3. Move to live
                    4. Embrace today
                    5. Live with intention
                    6. Respect my body
                    7. Cultivate joy
                    8. Find my passion
                    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                    Comment


                    • up at 12:30 am. For some reason I keep waking up...........

                      Well, looks like my son may have found a house! He's expecting a counter-offer tomorrow. Its awesome - has a 3 bedroom/2 bath main house, plus a guest house with a renter already in it. Just the guest house rent would cover 1/2 his mortgage payment - and they have already asked if he is willing to let the current tennant stay. He can rent out the other 2 rooms in the mainhouse and probably have more than his mortgage covered. Smart kid! IF this goes through I could be helping him move before Christmas! Yeah!

                      Beanless chili is doing a number on my tummy - maybe thats why I'm not sleeping. It is a killer chili! better go back to bed. I'm so looking forward to having a totally stay home day tomorrow --- well, except hubby says we may have to deliver a boat to Grants Pass so could be leaving tomorrow evening. Its a 6 hour drive! So, spend the night in Eugene or someplace most likely I guess??? Tomorrow is step daughter #1's birthday - hubby hasn't mentioned anything about it so I'm guessing they celebrated the day they all went to the football game??????? I'll send her a happy birthday text and fb note - thats all she's getting from me. She didn't even acknowledge mine in July - neither step daughter did. Typical.
                      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                      2. Eat to heal
                      3. Move to live
                      4. Embrace today
                      5. Live with intention
                      6. Respect my body
                      7. Cultivate joy
                      8. Find my passion
                      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                      Comment


                      • Well, I think you explained your funk. But at least you got it out in the open. Here's hoping it helps with the situation. Great news about your son's house.

                        Comment


                        • Sorry about the step kids being such PIAs! Yeah on son and finding a great deal. I'm currently reading Making Shift Happen. You might see if the library has it. I'm finding it very helpful and the writer follows a Paleo diet!
                          Female 55
                          Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 165
                          Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

                          With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

                          My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

                          Comment


                          • I have Make Shi(f)t Happen on my Amazon Wish List! The author is Dean Dwyer. He has a facebook page and a website all dedicated to the Paleo diet and all that jazz we stand for.

                            Kudos to son for finding a house! YAY! Hopefully he doesn't get into an offer war with the sellers and can just buy and move out. Good deal for him!! (and you)

                            I hear ya about hubby being all grabby and less lovey. I feel like mine is extra grabby - especially since he's started getting those damned testosterone shots. Those really bug me. Hopefully the maca comes soon so I can desire for his grabbiness... lol
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                            Comment


                            • *sigh* Delivery Estimate: Wednesday November 21, 2012 - Tuesday November 27, 2012. Really, Amazon???
                              Primal since March 5, 2012
                              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                              Comment


                              • Yup - my delivery date was about the same for the Maca. Oh well - whats another 2 weeks?

                                Sleep last night totally SUCKED!!!! went to bed at 9:30 - fell right to sleep!!! woke up at 10:30, hot and hearing my hubby snoring! grrrr....... woke up again at 11:30, dang it! Got up and came downstairs in the wee hours of the night - wrote on here for a bit - my stomach was yucky from that yummy chili - achy and bloated. Finally got into a deep sleep around 3:30 - hubby woke me to say goodbye at 6:30 - slept until 9:00. I feel drug out and sluggish today.

                                So final count for Thanksgiving is 26 - with 11 coming from ONE house. If those 5 un-invited guests weren't coming we would have a nice comfortable 21. Our house can handle that number without being too crowded. We're moving some furniture and setting up tables in 2 rooms. Hopefully we can make this work. I want to decorate the tables nicely this year instead of just throw some chairs under the plastic folding tables and call it good. Not sure what I'll do - but I'll figure it out. I'll hit the dollar store and see what I can find. Throw away table covers and some simple table decorations is all I want. Maybe I'll go there today. I could even walk since its only about a mile away. A backpack would work for carrying it all home. A destination walk with a purpose of more than just to walk.

                                Hubby was extra tender and loving yesterday. It was so nice to be "cherished" as opposed to "lusted after"! Not that the "lusting" doesn't have its time and place but when thats all there is it gets old really fast!!! Jenn......... I would guess our hubby's would be great buddies!

                                Our 5th wheel is still at the fix-it shop. This guy and hubby barter for work on the each others "toys". He fixes and details our 5th wheel, hubby fixes his boat. He's had our 5th wheel for a month now and I don't think he's touched it. GRRRR. I still need to get it put back together! The chairs for the dining table have been sitting in my livingroom for a month! The cat thinks they are her personal sleeping platform. And the valances are all in the garage - piled up on top of the 5 tons of wood pellets (our home heating source) --- the fabric to finish the side curtains and the new wallpaper border has been sitting on my diningroom table for 2 weeks - having to move everytime we have guests for dinner! I want to get this project done!!! I can understand his need to work on "paying" jobs instead of bartering jobs........ but he's had it for a month for heaven's sake! All he is doing is washing the outside - and checking all the seals --- and finding out why the furnace and a small section of ceiling lights isn't working. It shouldn't be taking so long. GRRRR..........

                                BORING WARNING............. random thoughts about stuff.........

                                Boatshop changes coming........ we're laying off Kevin for the winter months. He said when we hired Joe that he would be willing to take the winters off in order to bring Joe on. Kevin is 27 years old - he lives with his parents still. Joe is also 27 years old, married with 3 children. Kevin has been with us for about 7 years now. Joe was hired in the spring of 2010. I love Kevin, he's a sweet kid, reliable, responsible and trust worthy ............... but SLOW!!!! and very socially "strange". Kevin is a farmers son. And he runs on ONE speed........ slow. I honestly don't think he has EVER been productive enough to cover his own wages and benefits. Hubby agrees now that he see's what Joe is doing. I'm HOPING hubby agree's with me and does not bring Kevin back in the spring. Hubby and Joe can easily handle the load - and I want to be able to add Joe's wife to the medical insurance, or give him a raise and the option of paying for Katie out of his paycheck. I believe the kids are all covered under the Oregon Health Plan. This would all translate into a savings of about $$2200 a month for the business. Between payroll changes, tax savings, uniform savings and bennies (vacation, end of year bonuses, lunches...) HOLY COW -- thats a savings of $26,400 a year!! And honestly I think thats a bit conservative - but its close.

                                If all that translates into that kind of a profit for the boatshop........ maybe we could do some home remodeling in a couple years? Boatshop profits are all personal income as far as Uncle Sam is concerned. As long as we pay the taxes we can use the profits for whatever we want! I mean - we either pay the taxes and leave the money in the business account - or we pay the taxes and use it for something personal. Either way - Uncle Sam gets his 30%. SUCKS! The downstairs bathroom needs to be gutted and completely rebuilt. The kitchen needs updating and a few little structural changes. I think we're giving the fridge to my son for his new house - so we'll be getting a new one soon - but we also want to upgrade the stove to a gas range and move it over so the walkway through the kitchen is more direct instead of the current corner to corner path. Right now its an electric cooktop with all a wall oven. And I hate them both! The oven is about 3/4 normal size, and the cooktop sags in the center so none of our pans will cook evenly - and electric cooking just sucks! We want to change the arrangement just a tiny bit so the traffic flow through the kitchen is better - and that means new flooring through the kitchen and dining areas. It needs new counter tops - and I have resigned myself to keeping the current cabinets - I'll just strip them down and give them a new stain and sealer, and new hardware. If I can convince hubby I will also remove the wood from the ceiling and walls and have sheetrock installed. It would sure brighten up the space. If I had my way totally I would vault the ceiling so it matches the living/dining ceiling and put in a skylight. That would be AWESOME! But............ I'm dreaming too big here. I don't want to invest $50K into the kitchen!

                                Blah Blah Blah............... I'm rambling. Sorry.

                                I didn't weigh again this morning. I decided I might need to just relax a bit about the whole thing. I will eat sensibly and primally - move daily with my 2-3 miles of walking - and hope for the best. A little break from the hyper-vigilance might do me some good. So, no calorie/macro tracking either. But I will still keep track of my basic goals. I'm only 11 miles away from hitting 300 miles of walking/biking for 2012. Thats pretty exciting considering a year ago I could barely walk a block!

                                Hubby just said we are on for the boat delivery to southern oregon - so, its time to prepare for a road trip. Cave Junction is a bit of a drive. Mapquest says 240 miles and about 4 hours. Well have to spend the night someplace. I will see if there is someplace cool we can go on a short hike tomorrow!

                                I suppose I should get myself moving for the day - I never did take care of the leaves yesterday - and unfortunately we haven't had much wind to blow them away and make them someone elses problem! Have a good day all!
                                Last edited by tomi; 11-16-2012, 12:27 PM.
                                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                                2. Eat to heal
                                3. Move to live
                                4. Embrace today
                                5. Live with intention
                                6. Respect my body
                                7. Cultivate joy
                                8. Find my passion
                                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                                Comment

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