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Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story

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  • Sorry you guys are having conflict. I completely agree that you should not be taking on 40 years of school debt. That would be crazy given you are trying to pay off the house. And as a former college graduate advisor I can't tell you how many non-traditional students really regret the $$ they are still paying back when they would rather be retiring.

    I have the exact same problem with my DH - like he thinks I need "enrichment" or something. I think it is guilt from them being gone so much - sometimes I wonder if they think when they are not around that we are bored! Of course I have an 8 yo and an 11 yo, handle all our finances and insurance stuff, manage 8 rental houses, tutor high school students in multiple subjects, homeschool our kids, and cook real meals. Until recently I also led a womens Bible study and was the Upward Basketball Director at our church. It was a relief to get RID of stuff I was doing when we moved. He was very perplexed by that.

    I have noticed that you seem to really try to have stuff done before he gets home so you can spend time with him. I was doing the same and then realized that he was vastly underestimating what it took to be able to do that! So now, I make a point of not being on forums or facebook/email when he is home or working from home and save just a little house work to do. It solved the problem right quick. He actually suggested to me about a year ago that it might be a good time to for me to go back to school. I already have a MASTERS degree and already have barely enough time to sleep! Though in his defense I had mentioned ONCE that I'd probably have to get another degree to re-enter the workforce (thinking when the kids are college age) since I've been SAHM for 10 years. He has also suggested that I learn another language or take some cooking classes ... I found the latter offensive

    I also think it makes a big difference if you are and intro vs extrovert. I personally have to have alone time to recharge - as an extrovert he thinks me being involved in more will recharge me.

    Will pray you guys work your differences out. Being different is one of the most exciting and frustrating parts of being married!

    Hope you guys are a great last day of the weekend!
    Laurie

    GAPS/Primal - Working on Getting Healthy!

    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread88988.html

    Comment


    • Reading your post, on your after party discussion, I keep asking myself, how is this any different from your want/desire/need to get hubby on board with primal. All I can come up with is, they're the same thing, differing only in specifics.

      I think it might be enlightening, and possibly helpful, to point this out. Then try to agree to let both of you decide what is best for yourself, keeping the best interest of the marriage at the forefront of all choices.

      And for what it's worth, I know about sacrificing dreams/careers. I gave up a career I had wanted/sacrificed for since I was 6 years old so my ex could pursue his. No attempt was ever made to support me returning to my career.

      To this day, he has his job/career because of the choices I consciously make on a daily basis. His lifestyle/financial security is 3 times mine because of my contribution.

      I am now very vocal to my daughters about NOT putting all your eggs in someone else's basket.

      Comment


      • All good points, Marcadav. Things are good with hubby and me. We don't stay mad for long We're best friends, lovers and soul mates.

        I'll respond to this a bit more tomorrow.
        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
        2. Eat to heal
        3. Move to live
        4. Embrace today
        5. Live with intention
        6. Respect my body
        7. Cultivate joy
        8. Find my passion
        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

        Comment


        • wow - its HOT here!

          things are good at the home front again. We had a really great weekend. I wanted to talk about hubby's "suggestions" that I do this or that - and I do think it is very similar to my "suggestions" that he tries eating primally to see if it will help him in any way. I don't think the conversation will come up again so I will probably not have the opportunity to point that out to him. But I will certainly keep in mind.

          But, I've been eating poorly for the past 5 days and its showing. the scale is up again and I'm bloated and puffy from head to toe. Top that off with a bit of fibro stiffness and achiness in my feet and ankles. I'm not feeling very good. But - I needed a few days of relaxing and letting the vigilance to "eat healthy" go to the wayside for just a few days. Today is July 1st - and I'm starting whole30 again. I will do the whole30 to the letter - with no rum.
          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
          2. Eat to heal
          3. Move to live
          4. Embrace today
          5. Live with intention
          6. Respect my body
          7. Cultivate joy
          8. Find my passion
          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

          Comment


          • Go Tomi.....Go Tomi.......Go Tomi!!!
            Female 55
            Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 165
            Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

            With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

            My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

            Comment


            • Originally posted by tomi View Post
              I will do the whole30 to the letter - with no rum.
              And no scales?

              Comment


              • yes............. and no scales too. I'm counting my starting weight at 182 since that's where I was before this past 5 days of putting things in my mouth that don't belong there!

                lets see........ confession is good for the soul - so I will confess to what I've eaten since Thursday.

                Lots of corn chips and BBQ potato chips.
                A Hershey milk chocolate bar.
                Baked beans.
                Brownies.
                Ice cream.
                Home made potato salad.
                Way too much rum.
                One slice of sourdough toast.

                We're spending all of next weekend on the boat. So I'm going to plan ahead and made sure there is plenty of paleo safe foods for me to eat. Right now there is a container of almonds and a container of peanut-less mixed nuts. I'm taking the left over pulled pork and lots of eggs. Lots of meat.
                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                2. Eat to heal
                3. Move to live
                4. Embrace today
                5. Live with intention
                6. Respect my body
                7. Cultivate joy
                8. Find my passion
                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                Comment


                • So you're using your starting weight as a weight that was there before your weekend of poor food choices? why? I ask this b/c once you go through the hassle of losing the water weight that you likely gained this weekend and last week, you'll probably get back to 182. I suspect, well, if it were my body, it will take a week to lose that water weight... that will only give you 3 weeks to get to a new end weight, which may very well only be 179 or whatever your last lowest weight was, after spending 7 days ditching water... so your results will, TECHNICALLY, not be as good as they could if you included your 'binge" weight, for lack of a better descriptor.

                  If it were me, I'd weigh tomorrow and use that weight as my starting weight.
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                  Comment


                  • well - I thought about all that. I'm 185 today - I feel like if I go with that weight as my whole30 start it will be sorta cheating cuz I know the extra 3 pounds are just from water and bloat from the weekend. In fact, when I got up this morning I weighed 186.6 and in 3 hours dropped to 185.4. My fingers were so swollen when I got up I could barely make a fist! So I figure using my bloat/water weight will not really give me a true outcome in the end. Its only 3.4 pounds anyway.

                    it feels good to be back in control.
                    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                    2. Eat to heal
                    3. Move to live
                    4. Embrace today
                    5. Live with intention
                    6. Respect my body
                    7. Cultivate joy
                    8. Find my passion
                    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                    Comment


                    • Buuuuuuttt... you have to do the work to lose those 3 lbs so they count. They don't just fall off b/c you woke up - you have to do well for them to fall off.
                      Primal since March 5, 2012
                      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                      Comment


                      • okay - so I'll start at 185.4

                        for the first time since I started losing weight someone noticed!!! One of my co-workers said I look slimmer! that. felt. GOOD!!!!

                        Maybe this month of whole30 will have more people noticing.(fingers crossed!)

                        food today: 3 eggs, and a bowl of pulled pork. Its like candy! yummers! I'll eat something more later.
                        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                        2. Eat to heal
                        3. Move to live
                        4. Embrace today
                        5. Live with intention
                        6. Respect my body
                        7. Cultivate joy
                        8. Find my passion
                        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                        Comment


                        • I think it's the strength training that is making you look skinny! I started getting the same type of comments after I started lifting. No matter what it is, it feels great to hear people say it!
                          Primal since March 5, 2012
                          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                          Comment


                          • I love the thought process behind changing your weight I actually had to laugh because I've been known to do the same stuff. I started my Whole? today and completely forgot to weigh myself! Probably not a bad thing as I didn't sleep well and that is never a recipe for weight loss.

                            Awesome that others are noticing the work you are putting in!
                            Laurie

                            GAPS/Primal - Working on Getting Healthy!

                            My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread88988.html

                            Comment


                            • For me this whole process is in my thought patterns. I don't crave sweets anymore So I know I've conquered that demon. But I will still fall into bad habits of eating non-primal foods just because I love them! My beef/bacon/bean casserole is to die for! No, don't ask for the recipe............. you'll regret ever letting it pass your lips! And I have to say that my potato salad is pretty dang awesome! Whenever we have to go bring a dish to a gathering I have people begging for both.

                              That being said........... when I eat the non-primal foods I have huge fibro flares!!! So, its not just that I gain weight, I also suffer physically. Luckily I don't make those 2 items more than 2-3 times a year.

                              Yesterday all I ate was the eggs and pulled pork. I wasn't hungry for anything more. Weird. Today, I don't have any eggs so I thing I'm going to have pulled pork for breakfast. I have found a decrease in my hunger level with eating a zero carb diet. I mean a HUGE decrease. I can easily go long periods without eating. I had a bowl of pulled pork at 5:30 pm yesterday and it is now 9:30 am and I am just beginning to feel the need to eat. that's 16 hours. And that's after having maybe 700 calories. How can I be satisfied on only 700 calories? But I am. I'm not limiting or depriving myself, I'm just eating until I don't want any more. I know I'm going to get the "don't fall into starvation mode" comments --- but if my body is satisfied I don't think I'll be going into starvation mode. Won't my body tell me when I need to eat? Like right now.......... my tummy is starting to grumble. So I should eat now.

                              I need to make a pot of Butter Chicken for BIL who had knee replacement surgery yesterday. He'll be home tomorrow and will need to easy to fix food so he isn't having to stand in the kitchen too long. He lives with his mom (my MIL) and takes care of her so quick and easy in on the menu for a while. I need a couple things from the store so will stop after work and do the cooking tonight.

                              My best friend (who has been living in Korea) is home for about 7 weeks on summer break. She and her hubby have been so busy that I haven't seen her yet. She's coming tomorrow and will spend the night and then go on with all their visiting and traveling. I likely will only see her this once. Then they will be in Korea for another year or 2. I don't know if they will be coming back to the states for Christmas again......... I think probably they will as they get really homesick. She and I have been friends since the 8th grade. Wow.......... nearly 40 years. We were cheerleaders together for a couple years, then college roommates for a year, we were bridesmaids in each others weddings and have maintained our friendship through all our adult years. Sometimes time and geographical distance came between getting together, but we've always been close.

                              I'm getting some time off later this month. I have the option of taking the week of the 22nd off if I want to. That's my birthday week so I might just do that! I also have been called for jury duty again - since my number didn't get called a couple months ago I've been put back into the pot. So, I have to call in on the 9th to see if I need to report on the 10th. Ugh. I don't want to do this, but it is my "civic duty".
                              1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                              2. Eat to heal
                              3. Move to live
                              4. Embrace today
                              5. Live with intention
                              6. Respect my body
                              7. Cultivate joy
                              8. Find my passion
                              9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                              Comment


                              • Day 2 Whole30/zero carb:

                                So I ate a bowl of pulled pork - maybe 1 1/2 cups - and it turned into several "runs" to the bathroom. No pain and discomfort, just urgency. I'm hoping its over now because I need to leave for work soon. And I have a couple stops on the way - bank and mail drop. I think I will take a anti-diarrheal just to make sure the rest of the day is "run-free".

                                On the 3rd: Lynnie is coming - we'll have dinner out and then she'll stay the night (must get room ready!)

                                On the 4th: We are meeting with a bunch of friends to watch the fireworks on the river - literally ON the water. We're taking 3 boats and will anchor near the park where they blow off the fireworks.

                                On the 5th: I have to take mom shopping in the morning. We will pack up and go to the lake in the afternoon. My son decided he wanted to come to for the entire weekend - not thrilled with that cuz I was hoping for alone time with the hubby - but its okay. My son needs to find a life outside of family. He's doing great in his career - but his social life is still very much lacking.

                                On the 6th: We will be on the lake watching the Detroit fireworks. they put on a very good display and its never a disappointment. Planning to get in some kayaking this weekend! With my son there to babysit the dog we should be free to go as long as we want and not worry.

                                On the 7th: back home to unpack and re-group for the week ahead. I'm sure the 8th will be a whirl wind at the boatshop with everyone needing boats fixed. My husband works so dang hard - I hope he can get lots of rest over the weekend. He came home last night and told me they had 6 boats scheduled to be done by the 4th at the beginning of the day..... and by the end of the day that number had increased to 12! Praise the Lord for broken boats....... but boy do those men earn their pay!!!

                                With the heat wave the grass hasn't grown and I shouldn't need to mow until after we get back from the lake. I'm watering today though so that could change. Maybe a once over with the mower set on "mulch" - its much faster when I'm not stopping to empty the bag 6 times.

                                Suppose I should be heading out the door now............
                                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                                2. Eat to heal
                                3. Move to live
                                4. Embrace today
                                5. Live with intention
                                6. Respect my body
                                7. Cultivate joy
                                8. Find my passion
                                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                                Comment

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