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Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story

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  • Yes, Judg - fat in moderation. Moderation is a word I need to burn into my brain.

    Weight is holding steady even though I've made some poor choices over the past couple weeks. A few cheats here and there. I think my resolve is low because I'm not seeing results, and I'm waiting on these tests. I have not developed the virtue of patience, I'm affraid. I'm not terribly impatient - but waiting is a source of frustration for me.

    okay - so intestinal report: I think the calcium is helping. Not curing or eleviating, but helping. And at this point, I'll take that. I may need to increase my dose. Right now I'm taking 1000 mg in the morning and 500 mg at bedtime. I might reverse that since I always have the problems in the morning hours. Maybe the higher dose at night will help with the morning issues.

    I feel like a never ending science project! What will work to lose weight - what will work to stop the intestinal issues - what vitamins and minerals do I need to get my levels up to normal and keep them there - what do I do about my cholesterol and CRP levels - what foods are going to negatively impact my fibromyalgia --- UGH. I will say, journaling helps. Its gets the thoughts out of my head and someplace where I can see them and organize them and make some semblance of order out of them. Input from others is a big help too - keeps me from veering to far one way or the other - as I'm sure you've learned I am prone to doing.

    So, the plan is to get the boat in the water tonight. Hubby needs to replace the alternator, I need to go to the store to get a few things we "need" - like some cheap silverware, a small vacuum, a small coffee maker, a roll up table and a paper towel holder. The lake is 45 minutes away so I hope we get out of here around 6:00 pm. We do have a little help waiting for us up at the lake to launch this ship - so that is comforting. Hubby and I could easily launch the ski boat - but this one is a good 8 feet longer, 2 feet wider and weighs about 6500 lbs more! My biggest fear is backing down that boat ramp and losing the BRAKES!!! Good thing the trailer also has brakes! I'm a bit nervous about this launch........ But also very excited. This is a new phase in our boating experience. We're moving out of the "its all about fun for the kids" stage of life - to "its all about us" stage of life. The summer should be fun! Stay tuned for tomorrows report on how the launching goes!
    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
    2. Eat to heal
    3. Move to live
    4. Embrace today
    5. Live with intention
    6. Respect my body
    7. Cultivate joy
    8. Find my passion
    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

    Comment


    • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
      I've never had bad catfish... lol I use a bit of Chef Paul's seafood seasoning, saute it in butter til the edges are cooked and then flop it onto a baking sheet (lined with parchment paper) and toss it in the oven until done. I'm crediting Primal Cajun with this recipe even though I don't think it's exactly the way she makes it. It's fantastic!

      I've never had salmon. We have salmon steaks on display at the meat counter but I've never had it and I'm apprehensive about buying it (expensive) and screwing it up.
      Oh - you HAVE to try it! Cook it just the same way you cook the catfish! My mom used to put it on tin foil - add a big dollope of butter and some salt - wrap it up tight and bake it. Not sure what temp or for how long - but it was the greatest treat! My husband and I either grill it on the BBQ, or pan fry it in butter and olive oil. If its a thick fillet or steak you have to cook it slow so its cooks all the way through. When it flakes with a fork its done. oh, if you BBQ it make sure you put it on a plank or on foil cuz it will fall apart and end up under the grill! NOT GOOD! Let me know if you try..........
      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
      2. Eat to heal
      3. Move to live
      4. Embrace today
      5. Live with intention
      6. Respect my body
      7. Cultivate joy
      8. Find my passion
      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

      Comment


      • What kind of freaking boat do you have!?! We have a 17 foot Lowe fishing boat. That's enough boat for me.
        Primal since March 5, 2012
        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



        Comment


        • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
          What kind of freaking boat do you have!?! We have a 17 foot Lowe fishing boat. That's enough boat for me.
          It's a 1989 27' Carver with a 10 foot beam. It has a good sized deck and a full stand up cuddy and separate sleeping room that is below the deck, (so you have to get on your knees before entering), it has a bathroom with sink and toilet - (and shower if you don't mind getting the entire bathroom wet! we'll be "bathing" in the lake, or on the swimdeck with the deck washdown hose) We got a killer deal on it! The guy seriously needed to sell it. He bought it thinking he would be going deep sea fishing - but his first time out he got violently sea sick! Took it home and put up for sale. He was asking way too much, so it sat for a year on consignment. This spring he dropped the price 10K - and my husband snatched up! When we sell the ski boat (Sanger Tournement 20') we'll only be out about $3000. Its basically a camper on the water! Hubby has already got a boat BBQ for it - its loaded up with stuff and ready to launch.

          I'm SOOO excited! I'm waiting for hubby to get home so we can GO!
          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
          2. Eat to heal
          3. Move to live
          4. Embrace today
          5. Live with intention
          6. Respect my body
          7. Cultivate joy
          8. Find my passion
          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

          Comment


          • That would be so awesome!! DH and I used to have a camper, but after a while our weekends were too full to really use it so we sold it. Shortly after we sold it, we found out we were pregnant with our son, so it worked out nicely. I miss having a camper, but my kids would need to be older before we'd camp next to the river again! Enjoy your awesome buy!
            Primal since March 5, 2012
            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



            Comment


            • I want to see pictures!!!
              My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
              My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
              Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
              Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

              Comment


              • We will enjoy - thanks! I will take some pictures this weekend. It was scary launching the thing! WAY bigger than the ski boat! It has a glitch of some kind - couldn't get it up on plane....... it felt like we were dragging something really heavy! And couldn't get the speed up. Hubby thinks maybe it has the wrong sized props and is going to check that this weekend. Good thing he's a boat mechanic! But, its all safe and sound at that marina now. Can't wait to spend the weekend on it!

                So....... Marks report on peanut butter was good. I used to be one of the peanut butter addicts he talks about in the post. I could eat buckets full! and I think it was responsible for a particular 20 pound gain a few years ago. I'm happy to be not eating it anymore.

                I didn't eat very good yesterday. bacon and eggs for breakfast, then some sausage links for dinner. Another bowl of ice cream. and then a large bowl of steamed veggies at 11 pm (after we got home from the boat launching) So - lots of FAT - the bad ice cream. I think thats my new addiction. I went for a LONG time without it - but then I found the natural kind - just milk, cream and sugar. That was a bad choice to try that stuff. Then they stopped selling it my store - and I found Tillamock. CLOSE to natural I thought. Okay - let me explain - I wasn't eating the stuff every day --- we'd buy a container once every 2 weeks or so - and sharing the 1/2 gallon with the family it went pretty quickly! But, now my husband likes to have it in the house (its a summer thing for him). So the other day he walks in with a gallon of the stuff! GRRR! I need to stamp it with the skull and cross bones and leave it alone! Put it in the "I don't eat that stuff" catagory, along with peanut butter, bread, rice, oatmeal, cereal......... and this list goes on and on!

                I will eat only healthy real foods today! The bad stuff tastes good for a minute - but leaves me feeling guilty and weak minded for days!!!!! So - on that note........ I'm going for a walk now. Will finish my thoughts when I get back.

                ........... OH - that felt great! What a beautiful morning to go for a walk. 1.5 miles in 20 minutes. We have a great neighborhood to walk in. Lots of older homes with established landscaping and lots a beautiful flowering shrubs. It is a joy for sure! I decided while walking that my next landscaping purchase is going to be a Lilac. So pretty!

                Still no word from the doc about test results or the colestid. Calcium report --- I don't know. The first 2 days seemed to be showing an improvement, but since then I've had issues every day. I've increased my dose to 1000 mg in the morning and 1000 mg at bedtime. But, my bones should be benefiting from the added calcium. Just hope 2000 mg isn't too much for my kidneys. Although, I see that MANY of the patients at the clinic are taking 2000 mg a day in divided doses. I think it should be fine. Next time I get vitamin C I'll make sure there is not added magnesium. My multiple vitamin has that in it.

                Okay - just random thoughts today....... how boring. Sorry to those of you who bothered to read this........ Please have a wonderful day!
                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                2. Eat to heal
                3. Move to live
                4. Embrace today
                5. Live with intention
                6. Respect my body
                7. Cultivate joy
                8. Find my passion
                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                Comment


                • You have a wonderful day too.

                  Try setting up a negative image of what all that sugar in the ice cream is doing to you. Blood sugar spikes, insulin spikes, fat accumulation, blood sugar crash, fatigue, irritability, depression, oh such fun! Now look at that ice cream and picture it as a gateway to misery. LOL! Seriously. And as long as you're eating more than a smidgeon of sugar, if I understand the science right, you are not going to be staying in fat-burning mode, and you won't be able to lose much weight. Sure, Mark has his square of chocolate a day, but it's just one, and he has had his metabolism running in the right direction for years. We mustn't think that we can have 3, 4, 5 "treats" a day and watch the pounds fall off. We're short-circuiting the whole process.

                  Another trick I use on myself is to say to myself, "Why don't I save that cheat for a time when it will be more satisfying?" I have always allowed myself to cheat, but I try to push it off until later as often as possible. Somehow "later" is easier on the morale than "no". "Sure you can have that ice cream, but why not wait? Losing weight is more fun anyway."

                  Good luck! I hope something in my toolbox is useful for you.
                  5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
                  Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
                  Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

                  More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
                  - Lewis Mumford

                  Comment


                  • If you know someone who has a lilac, you can dig up a shoot and transplant it. Lots of volunteers come off of lilacs. I don't know about dwarf lilacs, but the standard one produces offspring every year.

                    Ice cream used to be my nightly treat. Ice cream floating in Mt. Dew (do your teeth hurt yet??? lol). I switched that out for strawberries, coconut, heavy whipping cream and occasionally some dark chocolate chips tossed on top. Yummo.
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                    Comment


                    • I love the image of the sugar being the gateway to misery....... I'll hang on to that one.

                      Ice cream and Dew? YUCKO!

                      Well, the house is dark chocolate free, ice cream free, and rum free. My 3 weaknesses. If I can just convince hubby not to buy ice cream or rum life will be much easier for me. Sheesh - we sound like alcoholic fatties! Okay, we both need to lose a few - me more than a few - lets say 50 pounds........ hubby needs to shed about 25. But I can't get him motivated. He HATES the word diet - and is not interested in a lifestyle change. Its hard eating healthy when the other person in the house wants oreo's and milk every night. I don't cave to that snack - yucky. All that white stuff in the oreo is just gross. But, he brings ice cream into the house and my cravings win! Dang!

                      Okay -- focus.......I'll try the "later" trick (thank, Judg).

                      goin' to bed now............. night all.
                      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                      2. Eat to heal
                      3. Move to live
                      4. Embrace today
                      5. Live with intention
                      6. Respect my body
                      7. Cultivate joy
                      8. Find my passion
                      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                      Comment


                      • Friday night - my hubby was planning to be home early tonight - that would mean by 6 pm. Instead he got home at 7:30. By the time we got the stir fry done and sat down to eat it was 8:15. As soon as we ate I went back in the kitchen to prepare food for the weekend on the lake - and now its 9:50 and he's been asleep on the couch for almost an hour. I love him, and he works his butt off -- but I get really lonely during the busy season at the boat shop. Some days he'll go in at 6 am and not come home until 9 pm. We thank God for every boat that comes to the shop - especially in this economy - but it sure makes time together hard to work in - especially when he comes home and falls asleep in front of the tv.

                        So today was take mom shopping day. And write her checks for her bills. And fix her insoles. And return her laundry. And listen to her complain about the same things that I've heard her complain about 150 times before! UGH! She's 86 years old. But to look at her you'd think she was 70. The only thing wrong with her is her macular degeneration. She can get around just fine, and her mind is still sharp. Except she doesn't realize that she is complaining about the same things over and over and over and over. She has a very small life - lives in her apartment alone and no longer socializes with the other old people in the complex because one very nasty old bitty hurt her feelings about 5 years ago. She used to be very active there - was the "social hall coordinator" for years. But now she just stays in her apartment and doesn't talk to anyone.

                        I was the 4th child in a family with all girls. My relationship with my mom has never been good. My mom suffered from social anxiety (I believe) and after my father died (while she was pg with me) she started drinking (while she was pg with me). She was drunk until I was 15 years old. So, she never really took an interest in my life. I was in choir, swing choir, was a cheerleader, gave the opening prayer at my graduation ceremony, and was a princess on the homecoming court. She was rarely there to support me for any of it. I can only remember 5 times during my entire school career that she came to anything to see me perform or compete. I left home at 17, 2 weeks after high school graduation. I didn't even say goodbye as I packed my things in my friends car and moved to my sisters house. She always told us when we turned 18 we could no longer live with her because she didn't get social security for us anymore and couldn't afford to have us at home. We were raised on social security and veterans benefits. We always had a clean home, and some new clothes at the beginning of each school year - but she didn't do it for us - she did it so she would look good in the eyes of the rest of "small town america" where I grew up.

                        So, now I'm 51, she's 86 --- and its my obligation to take care of her. I have one other sister who lives in the same town as she does (I am 20 miles away) - and yet, I'm the one who is there every other friday to take her shopping, to make sure she has what she needs. To take her for her flu shot - to put up curtains for her - to plant flowers on her patio. My sister never seems to have time to do more than stop by for a short visit once a month - or bring her something from the store if she runs out. I'm not happy about what I do, or about my attitude towards it. She is my mother --- but I feel very little for her. I do what I do out of sheer obligation. She is not a particularly pleasant person to be with, not that she's grouchy or anything - she just has such a narrow view of the world. She thinks the man who lives in the apartment above her stomps his feet just to piss her off. If she can hear the TV in the apartment next door she complains to the manager. She was the mean lady on the street who would yell at the neighbor kids to "get off my lawn!"

                        The saddest thing for me is feeling that I never I had a mother --- and yet I'm obligated now to care for her. I do it because its the right thing to do. Just because she never knew how to give love - doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to be treated lovingly and with respect. Biologically she is my mother.

                        I've wondered if my feelings of "lostness" due to my lack of parents has contributed to my weight issues. Maybe I'm trying to fill a need within my soul with comfort foods. Once I was no longer married to the man who thought I was fat at a size 12 - I started gaining weight. I blamed it on the fibromyalgia and the new husband who loved to eat good food, and junk food. But maybe it was something deeper than that. Maybe once I was out from under the fear of putting on a few extra pounds, because the ex told me it was so gross! that I just started using food to fill that need inside me - that little girl longing for a daddy and mommy to love her. Maybe????? I've never put those things together before. I'm going to have give that some more thought............
                        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                        2. Eat to heal
                        3. Move to live
                        4. Embrace today
                        5. Live with intention
                        6. Respect my body
                        7. Cultivate joy
                        8. Find my passion
                        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                        Comment


                        • I have an absent (for different reasons) mother, also.
                          I salute you for what you are doing.
                          It is hard when you don't receive a loving parent-child relationship, but at least you are participating in it for the other side, through the love you give.
                          And it means a lot. If your mother had given you what you needed, (her sober presence) even if only out of obligation, think how different your childhood could have been. You are making that difference for her, and it is a loving thing to do. (Love as the verb, not adjective, here. I wish more people would show love by 'doing'.)

                          Comment


                          • Kudos to you for doing the right thing. You have earned the right to respect yourself. And I know how listening to the carping, complaining and criticizing can make you frantic sometimes. I have a similar family member to deal with. But do remember that you don't have to be a doormat. If she is bullying or attacking you, put your foot down and refuse to accept it. If she persists, walk out. You don't have to be a drama queen about it, just tell her you will come back some other time, but you don't have to stay and listen to that. Sooner or later she will see that you mean it, and learn to back off, if that is indeed what she is doing. Generalized grumping at the world at large is a little different.

                            Here is something neat for you: The Paradoxical Commandments.

                            People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
                            Love them anyway.

                            If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
                            Do good anyway.

                            If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
                            Succeed anyway.

                            The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
                            Do good anyway.

                            Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
                            Be honest and frank anyway.

                            The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
                            Think big anyway.

                            People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
                            Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

                            What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
                            Build anyway.

                            People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
                            Help people anyway.

                            Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
                            Give the world the best you have anyway.


                            This has been falsely attributed to Mother Theresa, because she had it tacked up on the wall, but she didn't actually write it herself.
                            5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
                            Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
                            Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

                            More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
                            - Lewis Mumford

                            Comment


                            • thanks for the kind and encouraging words. Mom isn't at all mean or grumpy with me - and she truly appreciates everything that I do for and with her. She is rather and gentle and kind compared to what she was when I was a young girl. The difficult thing is the non-stop complaining about the neighbors. I guess if I use my psychology training (I do have a degree, don't I!) that she is probably just suffering from a victim complex. She dwells on the negative things that have happened to her - and by rights, she has been through a lot of really bad stuff in her life. She was a child of the depression, at 34 she was left widowed with 3 daughters and another on the way. She quit school at the age of 15 so she could work and help support the family, so as a widowed woman with 4 children she had no skills to support us. She got social security and veterans benefits from my dad. She was lost and scared - thank God for my dads parents who stepped up and really helped her raise us. We've always said our grandparents were our saving grace during our childhoods. My fondest memories are with my grammie and granddad. They were wonderful.

                              But now - I deal with the confusing feelings of obligation and basic kindness. Like I said - I do it because its the right thing to do. I do wish my sister who lives in the same town would share the responsibility a bit more though. I mean, she's 5 minutes from our mom - I'm 30 minutes. I have another sister a couple hours away, and the other lives in another state. It will be fine - I just need to wrestle with the feelings now and then.

                              On a health note: I did great yesterday! Not perfect primal - but really really close! And I'm back to getting in my daily walks.

                              I got the results of the blood test. Most everything is good. Vitamin B12 is on the low side. And I had a low Absolute Monocytes count. Not sure what that means. Monocytes are the precursers to the phagocytes - the "clean up" cells. But, all the thyroid tests came out normal. Even Vitamin D was normal. So, now I will wait to the get results of the saliva test.

                              Its parade day in my neck of the woods......... that means the traffic from the main street where the parade route goes is being detoured -- and the detour happens to come right by my house. Normally we have a pretty quiet neighborhood -- but in this day - the traffic is a steady stream! Its very annoying. Usually we try to be out of town on this day - and we will be, but by the time hubby gets home from work and we get ready to go to the lake, the parade will be over and the traffic will be back on the main route. I guess its only one day out of the year ............. and it is rather entertaining watching the idiots try to navigate the one lane road that passes in front of our house! They have no concept of taking turns - they just crowd their way by each other! I'd love to see a good head on sometime...... mind you - at 5 miles an hour no body will get hurt - but it might add some variety to the specticle!

                              packing up the computer now........ we'll watch movies on it on the boat tonight. (tough life huh?) We like our creature comforts!
                              1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                              2. Eat to heal
                              3. Move to live
                              4. Embrace today
                              5. Live with intention
                              6. Respect my body
                              7. Cultivate joy
                              8. Find my passion
                              9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                              Comment


                              • Glad to hear your mom isn't picking on you. I know there are people here who have those kinds of issues, and I sometimes get the Groks mixed up! (I loves me my pictures, helps me keep people straight.)

                                Have you tried talking to your sister? When my in-laws stopped driving, the siblings worked out who would be responsible for what. It gets shifted around as need dictates, but we all chip in as we can.

                                B12 is easy to fix, and cheap too. Get the sublingual tablets at a health food store. Or you can get shots, but why bother? I've done both before. Last time I was tested my levels were very high, so I stopped taking supplements.
                                5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
                                Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
                                Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

                                More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
                                - Lewis Mumford

                                Comment

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