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Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story

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  • If you've been to the bathroom a lot, then something is definitely off with your system! Perhaps it was the chef salad. Try to take it easy on yourself. Do you have any ginger for a soothing tea?

    It can be so frustrating to see someone we love do detrimental things to themselves, but it is their choice. Would your husband be willing to read Wheat Belly?
    Depression Lies

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    • I've thought about getting that book. Might be a good place to start with him. thanks. I do have some ginger and I'll try some tea.
      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
      2. Eat to heal
      3. Move to live
      4. Embrace today
      5. Live with intention
      6. Respect my body
      7. Cultivate joy
      8. Find my passion
      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

      Comment


      • Brad doesn't have the best diet either, but after reading the article on PaleoNonPaleo about 27 ways to live with your non-paleo spouse, I have lightened up on him a LOT. As in, I make his meals. He eats them. If I don't make the meal, he's on his own and can get whatever he wants. But... I make breakfast, lunch and dinner for him to take to work each day (well, except dinner as we eat that at home at night). Someone made mention that Brad looks slimmer and his response was "must be the shirt", even though he was able to wear a 3x tshirt yesterday (normally wears a 4x) and he's on the last hole on his belt. He doesn't think anything is changing.

        Basically, all that to say that if he wants to do it, he'll come around on his own... however, I remembering badgering Brad at first and things started to really change when we discussed how a grain free, lower carb diet can improved diabetes risk and cancer growth. Brad has a lot of emotional eating signals and has a sugar addiction.

        Can't help but wonder if your hubby is on his way to becoming less resistant, and if he has a sort of disordered eating complex like Brad.

        But, I think you should read the blog post. I know you're anxious about his weight and his health, but really, he's the only one who can make the difference. If he's not willing to yet, it won't happen and you'll just drive yourself nuts trying to force it. I think diet change is even more daunting and overwhelming for guys than it is for women b/c it's all women have ever known - losing weight and dieting - and guys have always just gone with the flow. To have to change that now is difficult for them.

        I hope you feel better (physically) soon. Gut issues are no fun!! And I too am anxious to start planting this spring! Brad wants to do raised beds, but I don't. I just want a normal garden this first year and will work on raised beds next year - maybe we can start acquiring the pieces necessary this summer/next winter to spread out the cost.
        Last edited by jenn26point2; 03-11-2013, 12:37 PM.
        Primal since March 5, 2012
        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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        • Jenn, I love that article (read it before). It's a good reminder. I charred some bridges (I don't think they're burnt) with Hulky when I tried to push my WOE on him, early on. I try to encourage him to make healthy choices within his own framework of "what is healthy" and ask him questions. He told me today that he wants to take the car tonight to get some breakfast/lunch foods. I asked him what he was thinking about for breakfast foods and he didn't answer that question. Maybe he missed it, but sometimes he won't answer me because he thinks I'm going to proselytize about paleo eating.
          Depression Lies

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          • This is the first time I've really pushed him - other than lightly mentioning things to him over the 16 months I've been primal. He hates change of any kind - and I think you're right that changing eating patterns is very difficult for a guy. He has always just ate whatever he felt like - without much regard to nutrition or health. I know he has to be eating more than a salad for lunch and what I make for dinner. cuz he's getting bigger. I don't think he see's it. but I do. He doesn't like to talk about his weight. He's not huge or anything - but at 5'6" he's about 225 I'd say. He should be down around 170. His dad had diabetes and heart disease and high blood pressure. So I worry. I want him to be healthy in our older years. I know you understand - I've read your concerns for Brad in your journal.

            He said he would watch the Sugar video with me - and I'm going to get wheat belly too. Maybe he'll make the switch?
            1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
            2. Eat to heal
            3. Move to live
            4. Embrace today
            5. Live with intention
            6. Respect my body
            7. Cultivate joy
            8. Find my passion
            9. Meditate on peace in my soul

            Comment


            • I am very worried about Brad's weight and the state of his health. But all I can do is control what he eats in our house. Outside, I have no control. And while I hate the idea of the consequences, I have to accept it. Brad is 6'1", 330 lbs. he should also be under 200. But he's not a reader so getting him to read the PB or Wheat Belly or anything like that is hopeless. I'm lucky if he hears half of my explanations for things. hell, I can't even get my kids to eat what I make, so I'm happy that at least Brad is. One of these days, he'll cut the sugars.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



              Comment


              • speaking of sugars - bravo to you for making it this far into your 21 day sugar detox. I was very proud of myself for saying NO to the apple pie that hubby brought home last night. It looked wonderful and I really wanted to eat some, but I'm learning to be strong! The consequenses of eating grains/sugars is really not worth the 15 minutes of pleasure I get from eating it! He apologised for bringing it home
                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                2. Eat to heal
                3. Move to live
                4. Embrace today
                5. Live with intention
                6. Respect my body
                7. Cultivate joy
                8. Find my passion
                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                Comment


                • Originally posted by tomi View Post
                  speaking of sugars - bravo to you for making it this far into your 21 day sugar detox. I was very proud of myself for saying NO to the apple pie that hubby brought home last night. It looked wonderful and I really wanted to eat some, but I'm learning to be strong! The consequenses of eating grains/sugars is really not worth the 15 minutes of pleasure I get from eating it! He apologised for bringing it home
                  Apple Pie kills me! The last two times I ate it, my belly swelled up to that of an 8 month pregnant belly and felt like one too! hard to breathe, impossible to get comfy while sitting... only difference is my tailbone didn't hurt! lol I'm glad you were able to hold out. Did he take the pie to work with him then?
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                  Comment


                  • yes, he took it with him.

                    my weight is up a couple pounds - must have had too much salt over the weekend. I haven't tracked anything accept my walking in a week now. I think I'm keeping my calories in a good place - but obviously if the scale isn't moving I need to move more or eat less. And I haven't been sleeping all that great either.
                    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                    2. Eat to heal
                    3. Move to live
                    4. Embrace today
                    5. Live with intention
                    6. Respect my body
                    7. Cultivate joy
                    8. Find my passion
                    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                    Comment


                    • It took me sending DH a success story that mimicked his life to get him to try eating primal. I also stressed the 80-20 aspect and make sure there are plenty of good leftovers for his lunch (he's in the habit of packing one each day). I also have Greek yogurt and good fruits in the house. I make sure not to preach, but to have things that are primal available for him to eat. It helps that he is seeing the weight come down slowly.
                      Female 55
                      Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 165
                      Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

                      With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

                      My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

                      Comment


                      • Hope you feel better Tomi!

                        I always want to preach too but I remember how irritating that was when I smoked. Just keep being the model he needs to see.
                        You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

                        Age 48
                        height 5'3
                        SW 215 lbs
                        CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
                        LW 172 lbs
                        GW 125ish lbs

                        Comment


                        • I've been "modeling" for 16 months now - and he see's how eating this way has improved my health - but he still wants to eat stuff that is bad for him (oreos and m&m's). Not that he eats those things on a daily basis, but still - more days than not. I want him healthy - but I also selfishly know if he was doing this with me, MY journey would be much easier. I'd not stray as often if I weren't faced with bad choices. Some people can just hold the line and not stray even when someone is handing them what used to be their favorite dessert. I'm not that person. I give in sometimes. MOSTLY I will be strong and decline - but not always.

                          I've also been trying to get him to not buy rum. I've told him I fear I will start to have problems with it (alcoholism runs in my family). I guess basically when it comes to food/drink he's pretty selfish. He wants to eat/drink what he likes and doesn't want to compromise. Although, since going primal, he eats what I cook and doesn't complain. He says he really enjoys what I make for dinner - but when its his turn to cook, or if he goes to the store there always is something made with grains or sugars included.

                          I don't know........ he's coming around, but I don't know if I will ever see him dive in completely. Right now he's sorta just dangling his feet in the water.

                          But - I think by refusing to eat the apple pie I have set a new boundary for him. I don't think he'll be doing that again.
                          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                          2. Eat to heal
                          3. Move to live
                          4. Embrace today
                          5. Live with intention
                          6. Respect my body
                          7. Cultivate joy
                          8. Find my passion
                          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                          Comment


                          • Tomi, why don't you make him some fried apples for dessert one night? Apples, butter, spices..........It would be so tasty with a bit of heavy cream. He may not know there is another way.
                            Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

                            Comment


                            • Thats sounds so good! But he's not really fond of apples or apple pie. he bought it cuz he knows I love it - and he wanted dessert. He'll eat it, but its not his fav. When I get to my goal weight I will be making baked apples a LOT! for now, I'm trying to stay VLC.
                              1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                              2. Eat to heal
                              3. Move to live
                              4. Embrace today
                              5. Live with intention
                              6. Respect my body
                              7. Cultivate joy
                              8. Find my passion
                              9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                              Comment


                              • I haven't eaten much today. I got up feeling yucky --- suspect food poisoning from eating a take out chef salad. The first thing I ate was some cream cheese clouds. Maybe 10, but I make them about the size of a hersheys kiss so they aren't very big. Then I had a few pork rinds with uncle dans sour cream dip. Then maybe 2 oz of almonds. Thats it. I'm starting to feel a bit empty - its now 8:20 pm. I might fry a couple eggs before bed.

                                I'm making hubby his favorite meal! Curry. The house smells great and I know he'll be very appreciative! He likes my curry. I like to make him happy - so its a win/win situation. He's at bible study tonight so it should be ready when he gets home. The house smells wonderful!

                                We put the 5th wheel on craigslist last weekend - no calls yet. I know we have it priced a little bit high, but it is in excellent condition and its really nice since I re-decorated and stuff. Its got a new 37" flat screen with blue ray DVD player and most of the kitchen stuff stays with it too. We might need to list it in more of the surrounding area - like Portland. Its a bitter/sweet feeling - wanting the cash for the mortgage, but we'll miss it too. No winter weekend runs to the beach once its gone. But, we're doing the right thing. Focusing all available cash to the mortgage will set us in a good place for retirement.

                                I watched Sugar - The Bitter Truth again this afternoon. I needed to hear all that again to make me see the realities of not eating fructose (outside of fruit) and not drinking rum. Its all poison - and it all works against my goals of weight loss and being healthy in my aging years. I want to stay clear of both.
                                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                                2. Eat to heal
                                3. Move to live
                                4. Embrace today
                                5. Live with intention
                                6. Respect my body
                                7. Cultivate joy
                                8. Find my passion
                                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                                Comment

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