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  • Originally posted by tomi View Post
    Here's a thought, Jenn --- test yourself.

    give him ONE task and vow not to critique or re-do what he's done. See if its a control issue. If it is - then you may need to do some self analysis to work through it.

    Why does it matter how the dishwasher is loaded as long as everything comes out clean and unbroken? Its a minor issue considering all that we have to think about during the day. As long as the job gets done, it really isn't important HOW it gets done. Right? As for folding............. everything but my unders, socks and bras gets hung up in the closet. Try that
    I think the problem with the dishwasher is that he arranges things in a way that doesn't allow for max capacity... lol His mom does the same thing. it's like the way they load it results in the need for two loads, whereas I can get it all in on one load - and things still come out clean. I think maybe it's an efficiency OCD thing... but hell, he can't even remember to UNLOAD the dishwasher even though he agreed to do it to help me out, and he says loading the dishwasher makes him gag, so I guess that is a non-issue.

    We used to hang everything - then the closet rod crashed to the floor. Haven't rehung said closet rod as brackets and schtuff all got mangled and ruined (it was one of those powder-coated wire shelf/rod systems) and we haven't had the extra money to replace the parts. So, hanging isn't really an option. He has been folding his own clothes lately, which I am fine with. For some reason, when he folds clothes, they tend to be wrinkly.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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    • When Hulky and I disagree on how things get done, I try to let him do it without interference at least once. If there's a problem, I'll point it out later. "I like to fold my shirts this way because it's easier to straighten them/they don't stay wrinkled." If it's not something he's willing to compromise on, then I take over that duty (he hates folding my shirts so I always do those no matter who is folding haha). If it is, great! He has showed me some different ways of doing things in much the same way.
      Depression Lies

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      • I think mine fits the role of non-housekeeper very well as he was never required to do anything growing up. MIL showed him how to use the washing machine the day before we moved in together...
        Primal since March 5, 2012
        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



        Comment


        • boy - I'm the lucky one then! My husband cooks and cleans better than I do! With his parents gone to India many years of his life, he and his brothers learned how to fend for themselves. The 4 boys were responsible for cooking and cleaning.

          I was never allowed to cook at home cuz mom said I wouldn't clean up after myself - but she never gave me a chance to try. I went into my first marriage cooking only what I had "observed" my mom cooking. My mom didn't know spices went beyond salt and pepper. I cooked very bland food for 18 years! Then new hubby introduced me to the world of spices! When my husband cleans HE CLEANS! It puts me to shame. Since I've been working p/t for the past 5 years I've done all the cleaning myself, and the house isn't as clean as when we did it together.

          I have no complaints - which also means maybe I'm not the best one to offer advice

          I will offer this: most men are like children because their mommies never made them grow up. Remind Brad for the first couple months about his job of emptying the dishwasher and maybe it will become habit for him by then and you can lay off. ????? My ex was the same about the dishwasher - for some reason he hated getting his hands "icky" from dirty dishes or dirty dishwater.
          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
          2. Eat to heal
          3. Move to live
          4. Embrace today
          5. Live with intention
          6. Respect my body
          7. Cultivate joy
          8. Find my passion
          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

          Comment


          • Daily report: I started the day as I normally do. my eggs cooked in butter. I had a couple clouds when I got home from work. then hubby calls to say we have to go to Portland to get a boat. Okay....... so then UPS delivers my sons curtains HERE instead of to his house (he forgot to fix that when he ordered) so now we also have to go by my sons house. By 8:30 we were trying to figure out what to do for dinner. We ended up stopping at Shari's (a step above Denny's in my book). I ordered the American chopped salad. I gave hubby the pita bread. I put honey mustard on it (I hate vinegar and oil). Then we decided to take home an apple pie. OK - I've been craving Apple Pie since last fall and have never given into the craving. So I endulged.

            the day ended with
            Calories: 1688
            Fat: 53%
            Prot: 16 %
            Carb: 31%

            Not so great. Ketones showed "slight" or whatever the lowest above negative is. It was one level down from yesterday. I'm going to check tonight before bed. Weight this morning still 182.2. I'm definitely not going to see the 177 by friday. My own fault. Without the pie I would have been sorta okay - still high on carbs though. I'm not sure what better choice I could have made under the circumstances. Maybe I should have ordered a steak and side veggies, but I'm guessing then I would be high on protein and still high on carbs. The Apple Pie and honey mustard are what did me in on carbs. So if I had not done those I would have been doing good. Lesson learned.

            Now we have 3/4 of a pie in the fridge................. ugh. Maybe the neighbors need to come over for a visit!

            I'm all dressed for my walk. Under Armor in place! I'm eating some eggs and then I'm going for just a short one mile. Maybe tonight I'll squeeze in a bit more. We're going to visit MIL tonight and then hubby wants to go out for Sushi. I'm hoping the little bit of rice won't hurt. That will be my only source of carbs for the day.
            1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
            2. Eat to heal
            3. Move to live
            4. Embrace today
            5. Live with intention
            6. Respect my body
            7. Cultivate joy
            8. Find my passion
            9. Meditate on peace in my soul

            Comment


            • I usually opt for an omelet or eggs when I go out to places like that. Tonight I'll be dining at Village Inn (I have class) and will order 3 eggs scrambled with green peppers, ham and onion, topped with cheese with a side of buttah (they usually bring 2 tbsp). I'll likely have the same thing tomorrow night before class, again. It's a pretty safe meal and I can input it into MFP as a denver omelet. I get this with a side salad and top it with herb infused olive oil (I got it at the farmers market but could make it myself at home).

              Oh and the reason I order it this way instead of as an omelet is b/c it's cheaper and I don't have to answer all the "no pancake, no toast, no english muffin, no.... blah blah blah" questions.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



              Comment


              • Thats a good idea, Jenn - I'll try that if the situation comes up again. Usually when we have to eat out due to unforeseen circumstances we find a steak house - but this time it didn't work out that way.

                Note: sushi causes water retention!!!! Up to 183.8 this morning and feeling squishy! I wish I could wring myself out like a wet towel! The sushi was awesome though. I got shrimp topped with mango! yum............... and then apple pie for dessert. The calories aren't that bad, but it is totally NOT primal and NOT the best choice for my needs. But I figure - I eat dessert so rarely I'm not going to beat myself up over it. There is one peice left for both of us and then it is gone............ and I probably won't have another peice of pie for another year. It doesn't help with my goals, but, it helps with my constant craving for apple pie!

                WARNING: Non primal, boring life stuff...........

                Have to go in to the office early today and work a longer day than normal. I've been given more stuff to do and its requiring more time - good for the paycheck. Doc has to get re-certified and part of the requirements are now chart reviews on 25 patients who were seen in the last calendar year. Once he gives me the list of patients its my job to complete all the necessary paperwork for the chart reviews. I like doing that sort of stuff - hunting for the info and filling out the forms. Thats pretty much what I did as a research coordinator - 'cept I also had to see study patients, take vitals, blood and urine samples, process and send the samples to labs........... it was a fun job when we could find qualified study patients. Anyway - I'm looking forward to doing this. It will take a while to complete. I'm also going through 30 years of paperwork that has accumulated since doc opened his practice. Figuring out what needs to be saved - scan it into the system - and shred the papers. I'm barely started with that task. Bottom line - I need to plan on working about 6 hours a day now - maybe even adding in fridays when I'm not taking mom shopping.

                Saw MIL last night. She's getting thin, but looks good otherwise. She has about 30% of hearing even when wearing her hearing aids - and her eyesight is very poor. She has Macular Degeneration and Glaucoma. So the light is dim, and she sees as if looking through swiss cheese. It pretty hard to talk to her - you have to yell, and then sometimes she doesn't know who's talking to her. She's so darn sweet though........... I just love the dickens out of her!

                Zeus discovered while we were on vacation that the little sting he gets from the invisible fence isn't enough to keep him in the yard anymore!!! so for the past 2 weeks we have been hearing from the neighbors that he's out in the front wandering around and barking at passing cars. He only does this when we leave. So, we bought a new reciever, thinking maybe the old one was giving out - that didn't work. Last night we widened the fence barrier so he gets the signal sooner and gets zapped longer if he chooses to enter the NO ZONE! This puts the zap zone so wide that he can't go by the garage side of the house without getting zapped. I need to take him outside and teach him the new boundaries. I will have to do that before I leave for work today.

                Its only 7:45 and I'm thinking its time to go shower and get to the office. I need to get my stuff done before the dietician comes in cuz we share work space. She starts at 12:30 on Thursdays. I'd like to get a lot done today so I should get started. But first I'll catch up on some journals
                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                2. Eat to heal
                3. Move to live
                4. Embrace today
                5. Live with intention
                6. Respect my body
                7. Cultivate joy
                8. Find my passion
                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                Comment


                • Good morning, Tomi. My guess is that the water retention is from the apple pie, not the sushi??

                  Sounds like a nice work project. I'd like to have a project... lol The work you just described sounds like interesting work to me. What certifications did you need to do that work? Phlebotomy? CNA? Just curious.

                  Hope you get the fence thing figured out with Zeus. Sneaky dogs.
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                  Comment


                  • Good morning, Jenn!

                    To be a research coordinator you need a degree, preferably with a medical context. I have a degree in Psychology, but my program was a scienced based corriculum so I had lots of classes in anatomy/physiology, biology, ect. Training in phlebotomy is also required. The rest is on the job training stuff. I worked as a Clinical Research Coordinator for about 7 years after getting my degree in 2000. It was a good job. I had to fly over the country for training meetings and interum meetings for long term studies. I traveled a lot - sometimes 6 times a year. The pharmaceutical companies always held the meetings at 5 star resorts - so it was VERY nice! Long boring meetings in cold drafty auditoriums - but the food was always wonderful, and the bar was open every night! Usually I traveled with my best friend, who was also a coordinator and/or the doc so we would hang out in the evenings. If in Vegas, he would pay for a nice show, or something. It was good. I loved it while doing it - but don't miss it. I do enjoy what I'm doing now. When I enter new patients into the system I have to read all the incoming chart notes and pull out pertinent info to enter into our system. Every office has a different charting system so its sometimes a challenge to weed through all the junk to find the important stuff! I have always loved research so this sorta feeds that need.

                    I hope we get Zeus to stay home too. He doesn't wander off down the street - he just won't stay inside the space he's supposed to be in!!! Danged Dog!
                    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                    2. Eat to heal
                    3. Move to live
                    4. Embrace today
                    5. Live with intention
                    6. Respect my body
                    7. Cultivate joy
                    8. Find my passion
                    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                    Comment


                    • Travel... yuck. Fine if you don't have a family and kids... Sounds like an interesting occupation, though.
                      Primal since March 5, 2012
                      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                      Comment


                      • Well, I did have a family and kids - but a husband who would step in a take over sure is helpful! He's pretty much worth his weight in gold!

                        I think you're right about the extra weight being from the apple pie! DUH! I wasn't even thinking SUGAR and FLOUR and CRAP OILS in the mix. I was thinking APPLES and SPICES and BUTTER! It tastes wonderful - but maybe not so much worth the extra pounds or the delay of seeing my goal. Next time I'm craving apple pie I'm going to back down some apples with butter and honey and eat them in a bowl! Maybe with some HWC or homemade ice cream.

                        I'm learning - slowly.
                        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                        2. Eat to heal
                        3. Move to live
                        4. Embrace today
                        5. Live with intention
                        6. Respect my body
                        7. Cultivate joy
                        8. Find my passion
                        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                        Comment


                        • Next time you crave apple pie just saute them in butter until soft and add cinnamon. Seriously tasty. If you use a sweet apple like Fuji you don't need any sugary stuff.
                          Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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                          • I had apple pie last night with ice cream. It kicked my ass. I spent the rest of the night feeling 8 months pregnant (and looking it too) and had some digestive distress this morning. What is it about apple pie??
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                            Comment


                            • Apple pie is the best dessert invented! It has all of my favorite things in it!

                              Honeybuns - you are absolutely right. I decided to do just that after seeing pound 2 on the scale. This morning pound 4 appeared after 3 nights of having a peice of pie. I should have just spent the $3.49 on ONE peice instead of bringing home an entire pie to share with hubby at $7.99 for the whole pie. But seriously - $6.98 for 2 peices - vs $7.99 for the whole freakin' pie! why do they that!??? Makes me mad! Another reason I should not eat at Shari's. Course it wasn't by choice so much as the need to find something to eat. Next time - NO DESSERT!

                              Whatever............ It's done and I'm now 17 pounds above where I was hoping to be that this time. I should never lay out a weight loss chart. It kills me cuz I never meet my lofty goals! If I was 100% perfect 100% of the time - I would probably meet those goals. But I'm 80% perfect 50% of the time so it just doesn't pencil out. GRRRR!

                              My birthday is now - 21 week away and I still have 49 pounds to get to goal. HUM - thats not likely to happen now is it!! I'm done playing footsie with this stuff - its time for some full on serious PRIMAL living!

                              Here's my goals.......

                              Goal weight 135
                              Calories 1200
                              Fat 70%
                              Prot 20%
                              Carb 10%

                              I will walk 2 miles every day regardless of weather or mood!
                              I will have NO sugar or wheat!

                              This is totally doable - I just have to keep my eye on the goal and not let it wander off onto some temperary yummy treat. My TREAT will be the smaller numbers on the scale - NOT some 20 seconds on the tongue goal killer! EYES ON THE GOAL!!!
                              1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                              2. Eat to heal
                              3. Move to live
                              4. Embrace today
                              5. Live with intention
                              6. Respect my body
                              7. Cultivate joy
                              8. Find my passion
                              9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                              Comment


                              • Go get 'em Tomi!
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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