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Monday Is The Day!/ NoSaladWithoutMeat

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  • Why I Need To Be In Control?

    You all know how neurotically, melodramatically stressed i am.
    I didn't used to be like that; now I always feel like time is running out, like I'm missing out on something, like I should be doing this and that,
    all these what-ifs are plaguing my mind, and the frustrations of not having achieved certain things in the allocated time.

    I did have all these concerns in the past but I didn't feel burdened by them.
    Why is this happening?

    I keep waking up with this fear of all the things I haven't done/ can't seems to succeed at/ and what it all could mean.
    It extends beyond weight-loss...
    And there's little things too, like things people have said, ignored texts, etc.

    Its especially bad when I just wake up, 'cause the logical part of my brain is not awake yet to try to combat my paranoia with
    "I'll handle it", "that's not true", "you'll be fine"... etc.

    I don't know what to do, but I think I need to be more in control so I don't feel so lost.
    How do I do that?

    August 1st,
    Is the last month I have to lose the last 6lbs and get my shit together. School will finally be over and... it's my Birthday on the 17th!
    I'm gonna do two 24 hour fats per week, and eat strictly Paleo/ Primal. No desserts, no sweets: just meats, veggies, berries and very little nuts.
    I think this will make me less stressed about getting in shape at least.

    The weekend of August 7-13, I'll be in the US (yay) at a cottage, with my folks and their friends... on the beach! Access to the ocean, every freaking day for a week, should really erase my worries away.
    After my finals, I have two weeks to do nothing and I plan to do the *only* thing that has the ability to relax me and make me happy.

    That's my therapy plan for August.
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

    Comment


    • Being in control means accepting that you're not in control. So zen of me, I know, and easier said than done, but I believe it.

      Reading your journal is like looking at a differently presented version of my own thoughts sometimes. We really don't have a time limit, we have our whole life to keep improving ourselves, be happy and healthy, but I understand the feeling of failure when you aren't going at the same pace as (what seems like) the rest of the world. I still feel like I messed up with school because all my friends knew what they wanted to do, but everyone else kept telling me that nobody knows, going in. I still don't know if I made the right choice, while all my friends are getting jobs in their fields of study.

      Short term/smaller goals help me feel more accomplished. When you get in the habit of keeping them, you realize a few months down the line that you've actually accomplished a lot.
      Depression Lies

      Comment


      • The most random night. Ever.

        Plus, it started raining while I was walking home. What the hell?
        "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
        -Raymond Peat, PhD

        Comment


        • Originally posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
          Must. Murder. Asian. Strippers.
          Now I has a sad.



          I don't know any asian strippers.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by DarthFriendly View Post
            Now I has a sad.



            I don't know any asian strippers.
            Go to Vancouver?

            Ahhh I wanna go to! Not for the stripper, for the food! Ah food.
            "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
            -Raymond Peat, PhD

            Comment


            • The food in Vancouver is betterer than Toronto?

              The food in Flushing Queens is better than in Manhattan's Chinatown.

              ...also, I'd have to meet the asian strippers socially. I don't spend money at strip clubs, I just have an odd knack for meeting and making friends with girls who do that for a living.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by DarthFriendly View Post
                The food in Vancouver is betterer than Toronto?

                The food in Flushing Queens is better than in Manhattan's Chinatown.

                ...also, I'd have to meet the asian strippers socially. I don't spend money at strip clubs, I just have an odd knack for meeting and making friends with girls who do that for a living.
                Did you put that on your resume?

                I haven't been. If you measure by the amount of Asians in the city, Vancouver would win.
                But, I lived in the Korean hood, so... I totally miss Toronto and think it's the best place to get Korean food.

                The second place where they are is where I used to work/live:
                http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/koreato...oronto-canada/
                Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 07-30-2011, 08:39 AM.
                "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                -Raymond Peat, PhD

                Comment


                • Cravings->Desperation->Craigslist

                  Horrible! Montreal has these horrible rules for Korean BBQ –you can only get it if there's a party of six people or more!
                  Meaning: "You do not have enough friends to eat pig bacon. Kthanxbye."
                  Totally rude.
                  I don't have one person who is willing to have Korean food with me, where do I find 5?!

                  I was desperate yesterday, probably from eatching EatYourKimchi videos, so I turned to craigslist...
                  Some 45 something men kept offering to pay for my food and ask me if I'm Korean... not what I had in mind...
                  But then I found one girl who seemed cool.

                  So we went, and we hit it off, she's pretty funny. We even went for icecream later. While people watching and sitting on someone's stairs, we got dragged in for a house party by two drunken dudes!
                  What ensued is too bizarre to explain. I've been lifted, spun around, thrown on the couch, fed weird, expensive candies from France, and forced to dance to a beach boys song.
                  Wtf?

                  I'm taking a day off the exerzizings, so I can start a new circuit on Tuesday.
                  Plus, I'm just freaking lazy, and eating utter crap lately makes my workouts suck.
                  But August 1st is coming up and I haz a plan!
                  A PLAN, I HAZ!

                  *evil laugh*
                  "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                  -Raymond Peat, PhD

                  Comment


                  • No but I should, since it's related to my work history.

                    My first job out of highschool was as a dishwasher in a restaurant. In the kitchen there was a cook who had graduated from my same high school a few years earlier. This guy had worked that same horrible job for that same awful boss for 4 years since he graduated. He was obsessed with 3 things. The restaurant Hooters, guns, and porn, and as far as I know he'd never had sex ever. He terrified me. Not because I was afraid of him, but because I was afraid of becoming even remotely like him. He worked like a slave, then wasted all of his money to increase his sexual frustration. Horrifying. I just can't waste money to not have sex.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
                      Cravings->Desperation->Craigslist

                      Horrible! Montreal has these horrible rules for Korean BBQ –you can only get it if there's a party of six people or more!
                      Meaning: "You do not have enough friends to eat pig bacon. Kthanxbye."
                      Totally rude.

                      But August 1st is coming up and I haz a plan!
                      A PLAN, I HAZ!

                      *evil laugh*
                      Really? That is very strange. We have much of thee Korean BBQ here in NYC. Come to visit, and we'll go BBQ hopping. We'll just go from one Korean BBQ joint to another, and then go for more Southern Style BBQ afterwards for desert. (We have many here in NYC. It's like a plague of locusts made of pork that you have to eat your way out of.)

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by DarthFriendly View Post
                        No but I should, since it's related to my work history.

                        My first job out of highschool was as a dishwasher in a restaurant. In the kitchen there was a cook who had graduated from my same high school a few years earlier. This guy had worked that same horrible job for that same awful boss for 4 years since he graduated. He was obsessed with 3 things. The restaurant Hooters, guns, and porn, and as far as I know he'd never had sex ever. He terrified me. Not because I was afraid of him, but because I was afraid of becoming even remotely like him. He worked like a slave, then wasted all of his money to increase his sexual frustration. Horrifying. I just can't waste money to not have sex.
                        You just described the average American/ Canadian male. Even if they aren't technically virgins and have gfs they're still willing to waste money on watching "live porn" (I'm not sure if the strip clubs are like that in NY, but apparently in Montreal they're all about very graphic girl on girl action, ew).
                        Maybe I'm missing the point of porn and strip-clubs (is there one?), but wouldn't you rather have actual sex with your gf instead of watching someone who looks nothing like her getting gang banged by a bunch of assholes?

                        I'll never get it :/
                        "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                        -Raymond Peat, PhD

                        Comment


                        • OMG! Every potential Korean food buddy from CL, sounds normal at first but then gradually deteriorates in quality (i.e suddenly can't spell the word "are", even though they seemed to have perfect grammar before, or becomes creepy...!)

                          I wish I could visit NY, but we're in the same money-less boat it seems...
                          "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                          -Raymond Peat, PhD

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
                            You just described the average American/ Canadian male. Even if they aren't technically virgins and have gfs they're still willing to waste money on watching "live porn" (I'm not sure if the strip clubs are like that in NY, but apparently in Montreal they're all about very graphic girl on girl action, ew).
                            Maybe I'm missing the point of porn and strip-clubs (is there one?), but wouldn't you rather have actual sex with your gf instead of watching someone who looks nothing like her getting gang banged by a bunch of assholes?

                            I'll never get it :/
                            I've never been to a strip club here in NYC I wouldn't know. Don't have that kind of disposable cash, if I had $200 to give a stripper I could just as well buy a month's worth of grassfed beef, no?

                            I know that many guys are hardwired for variety when it comes to sex. Sure their gf might be the main event, but the thought of some new female makes them excited. Probably evolutionary adaptation, or some crap.

                            Of course you girls are just as wack.

                            When I was with my Ex, I'd occasionally have to take breaks from sex to walk around the neighborhood, buy a week's worth of groceries, whatever. Since I was getting it really good with a woman I really liked, and really wanted to be with I had absolutely no interest in any other girls. And sure enough I got more female attention than I had in years, seemed like every other girl I met was way more interested in everything I had to say, laughed way too quickly even when I wasn't joking, and generally had drool leaking out of the corners of their mouths when talking to me. Dilated pupils, lots of head nodding. WTF? "Oh, he's unavailable... I want it!"

                            The week after we broke up? I couldn't get a date for 2 years.

                            Doesn't seem to work for times when I'm getting laid randomly, or hooking up with friends. But when I'm committed? BAM!

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by DarthFriendly View Post
                              I've never been to a strip club here in NYC I wouldn't know. Don't have that kind of disposable cash, if I had $200 to give a stripper I could just as well buy a month's worth of grassfed beef, no?

                              I know that many guys are hardwired for variety when it comes to sex. Sure their gf might be the main event, but the thought of some new female makes them excited. Probably evolutionary adaptation, or some crap.

                              Of course you girls are just as wack.

                              When I was with my Ex, I'd occasionally have to take breaks from sex to walk around the neighborhood, buy a week's worth of groceries, whatever. Since I was getting it really good with a woman I really liked, and really wanted to be with I had absolutely no interest in any other girls. And sure enough I got more female attention than I had in years, seemed like every other girl I met was way more interested in everything I had to say, laughed way too quickly even when I wasn't joking, and generally had drool leaking out of the corners of their mouths when talking to me. Dilated pupils, lots of head nodding. WTF? "Oh, he's unavailable... I want it!"

                              The week after we broke up? I couldn't get a date for 2 years.

                              Doesn't seem to work for times when I'm getting laid randomly, or hooking up with friends. But when I'm committed? BAM!
                              That's seems more like a projection of your own perceptions, not so much the reality, which I feel girls have to deal with all the time (i.e, not good enough to satisfy the average guy, 'cause he still feels the need to watch surgically enhanced women).
                              But then again, that's also influenced by my self-perceptions...

                              Fuck, who needs dysfunctional relationships when you've got ALL YOU CAN EAT KALBI!
                              "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                              -Raymond Peat, PhD

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
                                That's seems more like a projection of your own perceptions, not so much the reality, which I feel girls have to deal with all the time (i.e, not good enough to satisfy the average guy, 'cause he still feels the need to watch surgically enhanced women).
                                But then again, that's also influenced by my self-perceptions...

                                Fuck, who needs dysfunctional relationships when you've got ALL YOU CAN EAT KALBI!
                                Which part seems like a projection? The part where I said a lot of guys like variety in sex, or the part where I said the secret to being a chick magnet is to have a girl you aren't going to cheat on for any reason?

                                Of course if you did come down here to try out the Korean BBQ places you'd have to tell me which ones were good after we went there since I wouldn't know. Chinese roast pork I'm good with though.

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