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  • Ok... what the hell does one have done to their head that takes 6 hours? Even when I was having my hair braided into rows, it only took 3 hours. 6 hours is insane.

    Nothing like a new haircut to make you feel as pretty as you are! <3 I likes it. I do miss side bangs and envy your long hair. One of my favorite things used to be to twist the longer back up into a clip and leave the shorter bangs down. It's so girly and flirty and fun.

    I can't help with hair volume. My solution was to cut it off.

    Comment


    • Danish, I don't fucking know! The lady was retardedly slow even though my mom has short hair... It was ridiculous! My mom got highlights and it took so freaking long... I was falling asleep and pondering suicide.

      The night out was random. My friend dragged me to her friend's house where we spent hours for no reason at all. They were nice people but mostly stoned... My eyes were watering the entire time. Finally, at her condo, we talked and I ate a bunch of my gluten free snacks which I bought for the sleep over (cause no one else wanted them...). I felt like shit all night and all of today.

      I made the high-carb day a double feature and had some yam fries today and the rest of the snacks.
      Unsurprisingly, I'm feeling shittier.

      Missed a Shred day yesterday and not sure if I can make myself do it today... Nope, falling asleep already.

      I have trouble sleeping in foreign surrounding (and I hate people sharing my bed, it's so suffocating to sleep in a cuddle... Dr. Meat Love: when a guy wants to spoon/ hug you during sleep it's a sign of possessiveness, and while possessiveness is sexy, invading one's sacred sleeping space is not. ). I didn't sleep at all and my day has been spent in auto-pilot-zombie-mode.

      My friend was showing me modelling pictures she did and was talking about how much she loves her body :/
      She also gave me a corset she had because it was too big on her... I thanked her and asked what her measurements are and shockingly they're the same as mine...
      28 waist (mine's 28.5) and 38 hips (mine's 37)...

      The Fatty Complex:
      It was weird to find this out... Is my body image so skewed that I don't get that I'm no longer fat? Or is hers, because she treats me like I'm bigger?
      How does this whole thing work?...
      She's 3 inches taller than me and her bone structure is smaller I suppose, she looks frailer in some respects, but other than that we could perfectly wear the same size. She's definitely skinny fat, I can tell when she sits and you can see her stomach; my stomach is flat and somehow I'm fat? What's wrong with this picture?
      Is it my clothes? My round face? What is it?

      Is seeing myself as "fat" somehow contagious? Like, people automatically assume I'm fat even if we're the same size because of what I say/ think?
      Does thinking you're thin produce the same illusion? Like, after gaining weight you can't grasp that you're no longer a size "0"?

      Revelation#2:It also made me think how anyone can be a freaking model. Some of the models have fugly faces. And a lot of them aren't thin or tall...!

      Another realization:
      Thank God I'm single.
      The bullshit I hear from my friends about relationships just reminds me of how much energy they take and how ungrateful most men are.
      All these model girls are bending over backwards (quite literally too) to please these average guys and I don't understand why.
      Which brings me to my final and most earth shattering realization:
      I have more self-esteem than all these model girls combined, because I value my individuality, independence and happiness over possessing the "sacred" status girlfriend. In fact, I find boyfriends perfectly disposable, especially if they don't treat you like they should.

      Fuck Valentine's day!
      I get celebrating your love if you actually believe that it can outlast the common houseplant. But why not do it every day, instead of waiting for a random day in the year for a cheap sentiment to get some nookie?
      Why make single people feel bitter and self-conscious over being single?
      Freedom should be celebrated. There should be a Single's Day where every single person gets a gift for being an individual and for roughing out the cold, sexless months without support or companionship. 'Cause that takes courage and strength more than staying glued to someone, not because you love them but because you're afraid of being alone.

      There are so many guys out there, what's the use of being stuck with one who doesn't appreciate you? There are plenty of sweet boys with a healthy sexual appetite who are willing to sell their souls to date a model

      But once the relationship turns sour, it's time to flee and find a new exciting toy...! Which shouldn't be too hard for skinny, blond models –the epitome of sex appeal in our shallow culture...

      Cheers to the single life!
      If only there was a simpler, less painful way of getting laid that doesn't require one night stands with gross men, boring relationships or clubbing.

      Why can't life works like this?:
      1) A fated meetings of two intelligent, charming people who merely find each other irresistible
      2) After intense flirting and silent stares, they do it in the coat room of some fancy restaurant, and let the night remain a fond memory for years to come
      3) Of course, they could date for a while too, while having amazing sex and a passionate, fiery romance (but eventually end it before it becomes a boring routine and having sex happens to fill a quota).

      Perfect Relationship:
      I think the perfect relationship (and the only way I see myself living with a guy) is if we each have our own room. That way we'd have all the space we need to be alone, but sometime can sneak into each other's bedroom for sex.
      It'll be a new and exciting environment every time (you can redecorate )!

      Once the mystery is out of the relationship and you've seen each other pee, there's really nothing left.
      You have to give each other time to miss one another: it's longing and misery that make a relationship romantic.

      And long breaks away from each other -like travelling for work- are a must. So is doing new and exciting things together, so you're never bored.
      Of course even then, this could not last longer than 3-5 years, and you have to break up and find someone new. Unless you're old, and then I guess you have no choice (or sex drive) but to settle down with the millions you've made when you chose to focus on your career. If you feel like you've missed out for not having any kids, you can adopt some from a third world country (no stretch-marks and socially conscious!).

      Viola!

      ;3

      I'm not making any sense because I can only keep one of my eyes open.
      "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
      -Raymond Peat, PhD

      Comment


      • You looky tiny to me in that photo, so yeah I think you are having a hard time realizing how leetle & adorable you are. Also, why the hell would anyone want to be conventionally pretty? It is SO much better to be an interesting, unique, non-conformist. Buck the trendster world, cough up that Hollywood beauty pill they shoved down our throats through visual media indoctrination laced with commercial capitalism and let your freak flag fly high.

        Once I get skinny I will take my own advice (what? Don't you know, hypocrisy is the new black?)
        Notebook of a Nutrition Nerd

        ‘THE FOOD YOU EAT CAN BE THE SAFEST AND MOST POWERFUL FORM OF MEDICINE OR THE SLOWEST RELEASING POISON' - Dr Ann Wigmore.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post

          I have more self-esteem than all these model girls combined, because I value my individuality, independence and happiness over possessing the "sacred" status girlfriend.

          .
          Well duh.

          ...you're an intelligent woman Meatzza (satan help you) most models are only good for one thing. Kindling.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by DarthFriendly View Post
            Well duh.

            ...you're an intelligent woman Meatzza (satan help you) most models are only good for one thing. Kindling.
            Haha, you're adorable (err, in an evil, bad-ass, satanic way of course)...!

            Originally posted by me2 View Post
            You looky tiny to me in that photo, so yeah I think you are having a hard time realizing how leetle & adorable you are.
            That's because you're smoking cheap crack. Get more expensive stuff please.

            Originally posted by me2 View Post
            Also, why the hell would anyone want to be conventionally pretty? It is SO much better to be an interesting, unique, non-conformist. Buck the trendster world, cough up that Hollywood beauty pill they shoved down our throats through visual media indoctrination laced with commercial capitalism and let your freak flag fly high.
            Who said I was pretty at all? I think I'm plain looking. I think it only pisses me off because I have a reputation to uphold: Ukranians are supposed to be gorgeous, tall, thin, have perfect bodies etc.
            But like a friend once said, "Oh Ukraine, you guys've got a booming sex trade industry..."
            So maybe I shouldn't try to uphold Ukie reputation after all...

            I'd like to think that in a society where everyone practically looks the same, the ones who look different would be more valued. But here I am, the only girl who has an actual ass in Mtl, and I'm pretty sure if I go clubbing tomorrow with a bunch of skinny chicks no one would even notice me.

            But you know what? I don't care. I'm not ready to be liked anyway. And I don't want that kind of attention, even if deep inside it does make me feel ugly and less worthy, I know it's more complicated than that.

            Originally posted by me2 View Post
            Once I get skinny I will take my own advice (what? Don't you know, hypocrisy is the new black?)
            Yep, this is an internal monologue I have with myself. Especially when I hear friends complain about their bodies the same way I do. I always think "retard!!!!!! you're fucking pretty! WTF?!"

            There comes a time when you have to put aside conflicting beliefs and choose something that makes more sense.
            Do I wanna be anorexic, slutty, be objectified and undervalued, seen as a potential one night stand, do I want that kind of attention?
            No. I don't think I do.
            If I do want it, I don't want what comes with it. I want the opportunity to say no :P
            That's just a sign of sucky self-esteem. If I liked myself, I wouldn't need validation from others.

            Musciation!

            Yes, I'm a little Japanese fan girl deep inside. Sue me. The Japs have got it right music-wise. Even their pop songs are intricate.
            They make me happy and dancy

            Woah#1:
            I miss exercising.
            I won't lie and say I look forward to exercising, but I feel like something's missing now that I've skipped two days. I smell a habit forming ;3

            Woah#2:
            I don't think I want high-carb days anymore...
            They just make me feel crappy and are unsatisfying.
            I think I'll have a carby meal once in a while if I feel like it, but forsake stuffing my face with everything and anything just because it's Friday.

            Food:
            Italian spices on bacon, mushroom and eggs. Smelled like pizza!
            Couldn't finish all of it, but that just made me happy: instead of stuffing myself my body politely refuses food when it's full.

            <3
            "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
            -Raymond Peat, PhD

            Comment


            • Originally posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
              Who said I was pretty at all? I think I'm plain looking. I think it only pisses me off because I have a reputation to uphold: Ukranians are supposed to be gorgeous, tall, thin, have perfect bodies etc.
              But like a friend once said, "Oh Ukraine, you guys've got a booming sex trade industry..."
              So maybe I shouldn't try to uphold Ukie reputation after all...
              Well, duh. Uphold Meaty's rep, uphold Meaty's value and eventually, with enough rubbing it in by yourself and MDA, you'll accept your gorgeousness. (Rub, rub, rub)
              I'd like to think that in a society where everyone practically looks the same, the ones who look different would be more valued. But here I am, the only girl who has an actual ass in Mtl, and I'm pretty sure if I go clubbing tomorrow with a bunch of skinny chicks no one would even notice me.

              But you know what? I don't care. I'm not ready to be liked anyway. And I don't want that kind of attention, even if deep inside it does make me feel ugly and less worthy, I know it's more complicated than that.
              Honey, I've got a question for ya. (well, not so much a question as a "beat Meaty with a clue bat" moment.) Ever think that you're so gorgeous that the guys would rather chat up the plain, not so pretty friends in the hopes that you'll notice them? That they're quite possibly scared to chat up the most perfect woman (the only one with an ass in the room), so they seek your attention by hitting on your buddies? I think that may be what's happening.


              Yep, this is an internal monologue I have with myself. Especially when I hear friends complain about their bodies the same way I do. I always think "retard!!!!!! you're fucking pretty! WTF?!"
              Welcome to what everyone here thinks when you call yourself ugly, fat, etc.
              There comes a time when you have to put aside conflicting beliefs and choose something that makes more sense.
              Do I wanna be anorexic, slutty, be objectified and undervalued, seen as a potential one night stand, do I want that kind of attention?
              No. I don't think I do.
              If I do want it, I don't want what comes with it. I want the opportunity to say no :P
              That's just a sign of sucky self-esteem. If I liked myself, I wouldn't need validation from others.
              Well, duh.
              Woah#1:
              I miss exercising.
              I won't lie and say I look forward to exercising, but I feel like something's missing now that I've skipped two days. I smell a habit forming ;3
              Then don't let it form.
              Hopefully, this session with the Big Blue Clue Bat (TM) has helped.
              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
              My Latest Journal

              Comment


              • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                Honey, I've got a question for ya. (well, not so much a question as a "beat Meaty with a clue bat" moment.) Ever think that you're so gorgeous that the guys would rather chat up the plain, not so pretty friends in the hopes that you'll notice them? That they're quite possibly scared to chat up the most perfect woman (the only one with an ass in the room), so they seek your attention by hitting on your buddies? I think that may be what's happening.
                HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *chokes on own tongue from laughter*
                That's very far fetched, sweet knight (sorry, that's actually a Japanese hentai...! :P), but I appreciate it :3
                I've yet to be noticed on the model infested streets of Montreal not to mention hit on using such covert operations...!
                The only guys who seem to be interested are desperate losers posing as my friends, who take my whining about sex a little too literally.
                I should precede my rant with: "I'm sex deprived, not desperate and certainly not gonna sleep with you if you make me dinner".
                "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                -Raymond Peat, PhD

                Comment


                • Do I wanna be anorexic, slutty, be objectified and undervalued, seen as a potential one night stand, do I want that kind of attention?
                  No. I don't think I do.
                  Best thought ever.

                  Love your Woah#2 also! I had a really carby day yesterday and it wasn't that great. I think sometimes they happen to remind us how good being relatively carb-free is.

                  Ya really need a good "F the world" attitude. That solves everything. In all reality, whose opinion matters when it comes to your worth? Personally, I'd rather not be drooled over by small-minded miscreants. I've got better things to do with my life, like lift weighs and eat meat.

                  Adoration,
                  Danish

                  Comment


                  • Fuck fuck fuck!

                    I didn't realize it's been three days since I did Shred... Where did the time go?

                    I was looking at craigslist jobs (then the personals to feel better about myself), clearly Montreal has no opportunities for English speakers except for rub'n'tag ventures or toilet-cleaning gigs.
                    Then I was looking at magazines submission guidelines, the pretentious one offered no pay (why would anyone want to write for your cyber-crap zine anyway?), and the even more pretentious ones pay 200$ at the most, with guidelines so specific that you'd have to be the next James Joyce to be even considered ("We do not accept anything with people, fish, blue skies, pink flowers. We're only interested in stories about rural Canada and albino goats. We're looking for completely original and experimental stories. But please buy our magazine and read it 200 times so you can write exactly like the writers we publish. It'll take us 6-12 months to reply to you but you can't submit your story elsewhere, so anticipate our reply promptly (like when you're rotting away in an ivory casket).")

                    :/

                    I'm depressed. And it's now 10PM. I can't do Shred in the hopes of feeling better because my pathetic apartment building will creak and moan during the work out.

                    I don't know what I'm gonna do with a creative writing degree. I can probably use the diploma as toilet paper or roll fish in it, but I probably won't be able to afford the fish. Then I'll be forced to become a personal "masseuse" and pitch story ideas to dirty old man, in the nude.

                    ;(

                    FMFL.

                    Do you know any rich men who like fat 22 year olds? I'm willing to reconsider my feminist ideologies... Y_Y
                    I'll even learn to cook!...
                    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                    -Raymond Peat, PhD

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by DarthFriendly View Post
                      Well duh.

                      ...you're an intelligent woman Meatzza (satan help you) most models are only good for one thing. Kindling.
                      Only if you oil them first. Not enough fat to reasonably sustain happy life = not enough fat to start fire.
                      Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

                      If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

                      Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

                      Comment


                      • I just read a fitness blog that called Marilyn Monroe fat and said the ideal female ratio should be 33-24-33...
                        *throws up*

                        Flat chested, lacking assage and tiny...! That's incidentally how I LIKE MY PREPUBESCENT BOYS.

                        I wasted 4 hours of my life listening to a bunch of meatheads trying to be very politically correct when discussing what the ideal female body should be :/ (The Venus Index?) I think they were trying to sell something, I'm not sure.

                        33-22-33. Are there any fitness models with those ratios? No? Just the 12 year old girls then...?

                        No, no, I'm over it.

                        Can I be teleported to the time when Marylin was still pretty? :3
                        Has the world gone mad?...
                        Ah, I suppose bodybuilders must have their kindling too...
                        It's a trend giant men and tiny chicks, and their tiny dogs, with fat children.

                        I wish I wasn't so shallow... Then I could gladly settle for a nice boy with a beer belly :0

                        I did Shred. Finished sorting my wardrobe. Donated the clothes that were too big to a random charity box. I ate, oh boy did I eat!
                        I ate like a hungry Somalian in an American buffet! Chicken soup, smoked salmon, fried salmon, fried onions, chicken breast, sunflower seeds...
                        The tomato was left untouched.

                        My weigh-in was yesterday: not happy.
                        135. Did I gain freaking weight eating under 400 calories? What the frig?
                        Not cool. Especially since I measured my waist and it increased... I think I got bloated from the gluten snacks and the organic berry spritsers I drank Friday (organic fructose syrup... yummm).

                        I'm going back to basics.
                        Laziness and half-assing has brought me this far –it's a proven method.
                        My mind, my body and I –we gotta sync up! We're lazy, we get bored easily and we're OCD. There's no way we're doing something complicated and hard. It's why we're eternally stuck on PB, it's the easiest diet and we get to eat a whole lot while exercising a little, and just being our lazy-selves.

                        I can't do low-cal, 10 meals a day. I'm too freaking lazy for that shit.
                        Simplicity: I'm back to IFing. High-carb days are too much fun, so they're staying. Exercise is a must though, cause I need an ab.

                        I think if the weight will come off on its own the only thing left to do is build some serious muscle, and then I can look like this

                        I'm not holding my breath though
                        Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 02-15-2011, 12:33 AM.
                        "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                        -Raymond Peat, PhD

                        Comment


                        • Marilyn is still pretty. Where do you find these weirdos, and why did you not turn them off before 4 hours?
                          Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

                          If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

                          Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

                          Comment


                          • Meaty, I'm gonna drag out the Clue Bat again, dammit. But not for you. For those ijits that like their women on the wrong side of 12 years old. That's the only way to get those measurements and be healthy, I swear to Doug. (Shut up, Doug exists....)
                            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                            My Latest Journal

                            Comment


                            • Last day of Shred Level #1 was yesterday and you know what that means:
                              Shred #2 has officially kicked my ass today!!!
                              And to that I say:
                              "See you tomorrow, Jillian!"

                              Basically I'm happy.
                              I don't know if it's the vitamin D working its magic or the regular exercise, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
                              Let's hope it's not a fast approaching train...

                              Supplements:
                              Phytoberry
                              Paradise Greens 12,000 ORAC
                              vit. C 1,000IU
                              vit. D 5,000IU
                              Multivitamin (by a pretty lame company)
                              I'm gonna get probiotics and fish oils this week.

                              My skin has improved tremendously! It's not perfect, by far, but my skin tone is even and breakout free.
                              I have foresaken makeup altogether in the last few days.
                              A HUGE STEP, believe you me!
                              Is it the low maintance skin routine? (Gentle, fragrance and alcohol free cleanser, rosewater and rosehip oil).
                              Perhaps, even though I know it's the fact I stay as far away as possible from gluten and dairy.

                              Yesterday I went to my favourite diner and had fatty smoked meat ("extra fat please" I asked coyly). My friend had a brownie a la mode and I was so terrified to have some (my skin and its deterioration flashed before my very eyes). I did have A LICK of icecream and 3 fries (I counted), and for that immense self-control I am beaming with pride! Months ago I would have devoured everything!

                              *don't worry the fries and bread were left untouched.

                              I did snack on roasted sunflower seeds yesterday during the wee hours of the night, and my stomach wasn't happy. They were roasted and salted in canola oil. Pee ew!

                              IFing is a breeze. Really, can't imagine a different lifestyle. I eat once a day (and I mean, everything in sight, like a bulimic lion released from captivity!) and I'm not hungry until the next day, in the evening. Food tastes extra good when you're that hungry.

                              Dr. Meat's Guineapig Research:
                              I've looked at my weightloss stats:
                              Mon. June 28: 142.6 LB
                              Mon. July 5: 143.6 LB
                              Mon. August 2: 144.8
                              Wed. September 22: 145.2
                              Fri. Oct. 1: 146.8
                              Oct. 7: 145
                              Oct. 9: 146.6
                              Oct. 12: 142.6
                              Oct. 21: 141
                              Nov. 1st: 140.8
                              Nov. 2d: 141.2
                              Nov. 10: 141.2
                              Nov. 22: 141.2
                              Dec. 8 139.8
                              Dec. 13 139.4
                              Dec. 17 137.8
                              Jan. 27 136.4
                              Feb. 16 134.5

                              As you can see, the most substantial weightless happened during December. Incidentally, this is the time when I was:
                              1. eating cookies like there's no tomorrow
                              2. exercising less than 15 minutes a day, only 3-4 times a week (and only strength training and sprints)
                              3. eating VLC
                              4. eating way too many calories
                              5. had a giant Christmas and NYs dinner (every day of the week)
                              6. didn't try to lose weight/ clear skin because I expected to gain weight after Christmas

                              *scratches head*

                              No, seriously, what the fuck?


                              "Beautiful" by Canadian band Joydrop
                              THIS BEAUTIFUL SONG IS DEDICATED TO MY BEAUTIFUL LADIES! <3
                              Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 02-16-2011, 02:35 PM.
                              "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                              -Raymond Peat, PhD

                              Comment


                              • Who's the chick in your new avatar?
                                Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                                My Latest Journal

                                Comment

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