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  • Originally posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
    I'm a douche.
    I never report on my eating habits,
    I don't exercise,
    Yet I just wrote a lecture on me2's journal as if I'm the official PB spokesperson.

    Maybe Shred? D has inspired me.

    <3
    You are not a douche you are just a superb BSer, which is essential if you want to complete college. I am just going to pretend everything you say is true. You need to find some Mary effing Sunshines to hang out with. & get counseling. Then your life will be all Mary Poppins w/ a twist of The Sound of Music & you can drag your ass out of the pit of eternal doom. Dude I'm over here on the other side & I tell you it beats the crap out of living in depressive darkness. I was far more destructive than you (you can go ahead & infer what things made me more destructive) & I made it out. I can barely even taste the former omnipresent sadness anymore. Now I just obsess about my weight & sheet.

    Kidneys,

    Me2

    What's shred?

    PS UR hot lava, so yeah.
    Notebook of a Nutrition Nerd

    ‘THE FOOD YOU EAT CAN BE THE SAFEST AND MOST POWERFUL FORM OF MEDICINE OR THE SLOWEST RELEASING POISON' - Dr Ann Wigmore.

    Comment


    • Meaty, sometimes I want to hug you and sometimes I want to slap ya. Stop hating on your gorgeous self! (I know, I should talk. Pot meet kettle.) <3

      After resolving that I am NOT getting snipped and stitched to fix the weight loss damage, I'm forcing myself to love my beautiful scarred, stretched body as it is, and damn it any man worth his salt will love it too or he can go fuck himself. I suggest you adopt the same philosophy.

      And yes a lot can be said for the whole weight loss after a carb day. I dropped 3 pounds after a New Years splurge of Chambord and Haagen Dazs. Go figure! The scale is back up slightly but to hell with it. I'm doing Shred with heavier weights than Jillian uses so the scale, like men who can't love my body, can go fuck itself.

      I'm gonna be strong, I'm gonna make babies, I'm gonna live and play and be happy and anyone who doesn't like what they see... you got it, can go fuck themselves.

      Love you to death Meaty. <3 I'm working on my vacation schedule for the year and I'm praying to get up to you this summer somehow, or get you down here to Boarfest. I want to meet you!


      Me2- "Shred" is a Jillian Micheals DVD ("30-Day Shred" to be exact.) A pretty decent workout for 20 minutes.

      Comment


      • eraseheadgirl,
        Anyone can look pretty with the right lighting and makeup. The entire fashion industry has been built just on that.
        It makes it even harder to like myself when my biggest regrets are written all over my body (especially since I'm such a perfectionist that it's practically a disorder), because in truth my body and skin are a mess.

        me2,
        now it seems I need your help! How did you climb out from the pit?...

        D,
        I love you too, sugar... Wow, the pressure of meeting you... What if you don't like me?!
        I feel so inhibited in real life, like something that's weighing me down and preventing me from being me. It's different on MDA, because I can be me without being conscious of how I look and whether it fits the role.

        I've kinda shut myself out for a few days. So far I've had time to go through all the books I have and find some good ones.
        It's amazing to find out I've had the tools all along I just never bothered to use them.
        For example, (as you are all aware of my skin obsession) I have the Idiot's Guide to Skin which I bought 4 years back and never read.
        I think I was hoping for some miracle cure that will make me perfect if I pay enough money.
        It's hard, even now, to finally admit to myself that everything takes hard work because for so long everything was so effortless –the beauty, the body, the grades, the money, the friends... I didn't have to fight for it, just wait for it to fall in my lap.
        Anyways,
        I started going through the book and expecting it to be the usual bullshit "scrub your face 100 times a day with alcohol and don't worry about eat McDondald's" (what most of my dermatologists told me), but surprisingly it was pure gold.
        In fact, I've had this information in my grasp before I had to endavour and find it through trial and error and I'm kinda peeved :/
        I'm quoting (about foods that can affect skin badly):
        "A second category of foods is called Neo foods. Humans have eaten them for only 10,000 years or less. These foods haven’t been in the food chain long enough for human DNA to adapt well to them. Humans began eating these foods after
        the domestication of animals, which took place about 10,000 years ago. These foods include:
        ◆Dairy, cheese, milk, ice cream
        ◆Grains, breads, flour, rice
        ◆White potatoes and corn as we know them today
        Ideally, for both your skin and youroverall health, you would eat Paleo foods exclusively, because
        they’re totally compatible with your DNA. But realistically, people love baked goods and ice cream. So
        here’s how to have a bit of your cake and eat it too:
        Eat Paleo foods for about 80 to 85 percent of your daily intake and eat Neo foods less often, around
        15 to 20 percent of your daily food intake. Make adjustments to those ratios if you aren’t getting great results with your skin and health."

        Paleo?! I don't think I was aware of a plaeo diet in 2004, which is when this was written. Amazing and ironic that I had this and never read it. I everntually arrived to the same conclusion but years later...
        Well, at least it's all coming together...

        I fasted for about 2 days. Lost my appetite for some reason. But I think I'll eat in a few hours and do some reading.

        <3
        "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
        -Raymond Peat, PhD

        Comment


        • I know all too well about lighting and makeup. My avatar picture (hipsterised to disguise my identity) is from a photo shoot I did last summer as a promotional model for an artist and salon. At 29 years old, I still get approached for print or promotional modeling, and, like you, I have hang-ups about my body (scars, stretch marks, fat tummy, veins)- BUT the polite thing to do when someone tells you that you're beautiful is to say "thank you." Unless they are some creeper on the train, then you can put him off with the list of things you don't like about your body

          Comment


          • I don't know if to laugh or to cry.

            Got some notes on my story... Some of them, no, most of them are extremely negative. Along the lines of "it was totally unbelievable and why wasn't the dog yellow?"...
            People got so caught up with useless details I purposely omitted because they didn't serve the story.
            No body really got it, except for maybe one person who pinpointed the main theme of the story (but missed most of the other factors).
            I'm taking it as a total failure.
            Clearly not helping my depression.
            I mean, how do you know if you're a good writer?
            In fact, everyone is a good fucking writer. What's so special about me?
            I think I should give up on the notion and do something practical. How's the dentistry field going? :/

            It's not even the negative comments. I've been thinking about this on and off.
            I don't even like writing. I can barely make myself. Going to University for CW has made me dread it.
            What am I doing here at all?
            It's like I can't figure out my own life.
            The only reason I decide to enter the program on a whim was because every English teacher I ever had assured me that I must enter a creative writing problem (along with the other losers). Since I couldn't figure out my own life's ambition I decided to go with those of my English teachers –good job.

            Bah, the only thing I could really give myself to... well, it's too late.
            I don't know what to do. And if I change my major for the 3d time, my parents will have a cow (mm cow).

            I spent most of the day measuring my body fat and reading the Holy Grail.
            Fuck, is this shit complicated or what (the BF measurement).
            I got 22% in one test. 30% in another (I'm practically obese and in risk of heart disease!). My hand-held BF% measurer changes its result every fucking time (one minute I'm 28% then I'm 24%). I finally settled on the Navy method which, fittingly for anything navy, was painful (involved math).
            I got a round 26% (which puts me in the "poor fitness" category).
            I did establish an actual, realistic weight goal though.
            If my ideal BF% is 19, my weight should be 124 –not the emaciated 118 I was striving for.
            That's 12lbs away (and buckets of sweat).

            Now that I got the weight factor out of the way I should throw out the damned scale.
            I'm afraid with the scale around I'll only lose weight not actual fat, and I've never looked this gross –I'm becoming a fat skinny fat person (it's like a skinny-fat person who's still a little bit fat).

            Food:
            Strawberries and cream (cause strawberries are clearly ZC) :/
            Bas in butter and 2 eggs
            "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
            -Raymond Peat, PhD

            Comment


            • Lawd have mercy Diana & I are going to fly out there & slap yo ass out of it. You need some help shawty

              1. Writing critiques are just glorified shark pit snake dens. People get so critical because they are afraid others will be critical of them & then it is just this vicious negative cycle & by the end no one knows what good writing is anymore & they can't even enjoy the bonafide good stuff.

              2. Get some freakin vitamin d &/or sunshine. Win a trip to Mexico, it is possible you are suffering from SAD.

              3. Go find Jesus or Jah or Jim Jones. Really your best bet is a counselor. Don't go it alone.

              4. Stop worrying. It's like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but you don't get anywhere. St. Johns Wort might help.

              5. Take care of your self & work out (is there someone you can work out w?).

              6. Get one of these & use it (heh heh) http://www.buzzfeed.com/akdobbins/twilight-dildo

              7. Stop being such a Debbie downer. Challenge your negative thoughts. Fake it til you make it. I challenge you to write one good thing about yourself per post. I know our society feeds on self deprecation but eff that. Blow your own horn. There is so much awesomeness to look forward to.

              Stand proud Meaty.
              Last edited by me2; 01-29-2011, 10:11 AM.
              Notebook of a Nutrition Nerd

              ‘THE FOOD YOU EAT CAN BE THE SAFEST AND MOST POWERFUL FORM OF MEDICINE OR THE SLOWEST RELEASING POISON' - Dr Ann Wigmore.

              Comment


              • Haha...!
                Thanks for that, me2, especially for the Twilight dildo. I'll ask that for my BD –it's in august

                Something that made me laugh today:
                I was curious, so I googled Paleo dating, and I've stumbled on the weirdest threat on the Raw Paleo Forum:
                http://www.rawpaleoforum.com/hot-top...nships-dating/

                I remember wanting to get into that before I discovered how truly bizarre these people are.
                I think it's really a cult.
                Their thread on dating is the most unromantic and depressing ideology I've ever come across:
                Sex is for reproduction
                Food is for fuel
                Polygamy is dandy

                It's one thing to go back to our primitive roots in terms of health and diet, it's another in terms of social community.
                Yeah, let's all live in tribes and have 10 wives who can serve as baby-popping cattle –we can trade them for tractors.

                You're right, no more depression! :P

                I'm gonna read and I'm gonna eat and I'm gonna take a bath. And I'll feel all better! <3

                Just before I forgot, something funny I was complaining about to Vy yesterday.
                One of the many bizarro books I have, I have something called "World's Best Beauty Secrets", it's written by some burnt out model and is beyond idiotic. I couldn't help but laugh through most of it... it includes rudimentary, random advice on how to shed 5 pound in a weekend with diuretics and how jelly beans are a great snack because they have only 6 calories
                I don't wanna sound elitist here, but even the smartest of models is a little dumb :/
                The Best of The Best of the World's Beauty Secrets (I'm quoting here):

                "The Fat Test
                If you want to know if a food is high in fat but the
                container isn’t around, rub the food with a paper
                napkin. If it leaves a grease mark, it probably has
                more fat than you want."
                Damnit, I was doing it all wrong!...

                "Lollipops
                Sucking a lollipop can calm nerves and stop sugar
                cravings."
                Nothing like sugar, to stop sugar cravings...! brilliant!

                How to Deal with Cravings (or the best ways to starve yourself)
                Do Something Else
                Take a bath or go to a movie. Take a walk or call a friend.
                Do anything until that hungry feeling goes away. Don’t
                worry, eventually those cravings will subside.
                Drink Water
                Add a lot of lemons to take away that awful empty
                feeling that cravings bring."
                This just made me sad and hungry...

                "Say It with Soy
                Soy is packed with powerful antioxidants that inter-
                fere with free-radical damage. This is the basis for
                how fast we age. Soy is another reason to turn to a
                more vegetarian-based diet. Unlike animal proteins,
                soybeans don’t spew scads of damaging free radicals
                through your body to age your cells. Soy also pre-
                vents heart disease and diabetes. The Japanese, who
                eat the most soybeans in the world (thirty times
                more than Americans) live longer than anyone. Soy
                is also reported to cut breast cancer rates and to
                lower blood cholesterol."
                OH, the solid science of a professional model :/

                "Drinking ice water forces your system to
                rev up your metabolism to keep the body’s temper-
                ature from dropping. For example, if you drink eight
                12-ounce glasses of ice water a day, your body will
                bur n an additional 200 calories. This does not apply
                to carbonated water."
                WOW, combine that with celery's negative calories and NOT eating and you've got like the most amazing weightloss formula. all that's left is to patent it and hand it out to emaciated models everywhere!

                “I mash up a melon and leave it on my face for about
                15 minutes. The melon is rich in beta carotene to
                combat cell damage.”
                Sure it does sweety, and putting poo on your face combats bad breathe

                Jelly Beans
                A jelly bean is a quick energy boost and surprisingly
                low in calories and fat. Most of these little treats con-
                tain only 5 or 6 calories each. Compared with a
                Lifesaver (10 calories) or stick of gum (up to 20 calo-
                ries), it’s a pretty good way to satisfy a sweet tooth.
                I WILL never eat those fatty lifesavers again! NEVER!

                "Do what knowledgeable models do to
                ensure “kissable” breath. Eat the parsley on your
                plate at mealtimes, or carry dried parsley in your
                bag to instantly freshen your breath. Parsley will
                keep your breath fresher a lot longer than topical
                fresheners will. Plus, it’s healthy and low in calories!"

                What’s especially appealing about turkey
                jerky is that it takes so long to chew (a good 20 min-
                utes or so). This makes jerky orally gratifying.
                Chewing for long periods of time tricks the mind into thinking you're eating... amazing! oh, and someone should tell her turkey isn't vegetarian...

                To keep your makeup in place, close your eyes and,
                holding the can at arm’s length, spray a light mist of
                hair spray on your face. Be very careful if you have
                sensitive skin!
                yeah... if you have sensitive skin spray hair spray on it, but "be careful"...

                And this one is my personal favourite:
                "Chalk
                Here’s a natural way to hide stains. Carry white chalk
                for white clothing, and colored chalk for all the dif-
                ferent colors of your wardrobe. I prefer that you use
                these natural treatments over chemical stain
                removers because they are safer for the planet and
                many fabrics can be r uined by chemical versions."
                [b]Isn't that nice? And environmentally conscious model. Chalking your clothing instead of washing them? I mean, the end result is the same: clothing that doesn't look stained! Might as well...]
                Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 01-29-2011, 11:34 AM.
                "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                -Raymond Peat, PhD

                Comment


                • I'm only updating this frequently because I have no life.

                  I found this: http://pzijeans.com/index.html
                  I think it's awesome! Mmm... curvy women are so hot! *gay alert*
                  I'm not sure why society would elect stick figures as the epitome of beauty. PZI's models are so beautiful!

                  I measured myself to see which I'd fit into.
                  Hips+bum: 39 (my hips are 37 and my bum is plentiful )
                  Waist: 30
                  Just for kicks...
                  Chest: 36 (I lost an inch, it used to be 37 *weeps*)
                  According to their charts I can get their size 6-8 jeans.

                  I was reading "Escape Your Shape" the other day (yes, all I do is read fitness and health books during my depression bouts, sue me), it said I was a perfect hourglass and I should kiss the floor and thank my lucky stars :/
                  Yeah, right.
                  And the Skin Guide said Acne prone oily skinned people have the most "gorgeous complexions"...
                  What's with all the bullshit?! >:c
                  I'm not feeling very lucky or gorgeous!!!

                  Anywho, I think I'd like to fit into a 4. I'll add this to my goal list. I know I have some weight to lose from my thighs, though my ass never seems to shrink even when I'm at my thinnest, but I'm looking at my waist and it's bony... I'm not sure I can lose any inches off, but I'd like to anyway. Maybe 2?
                  I used to be 32 and I lost 2 so far, so maybe there's a chance :x
                  Once I reach my goal I'm getting some jeans as a reward! (cause eating an apple cobbler as a reward doesn't seem to be working out).

                  "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                  -Raymond Peat, PhD

                  Comment


                  • Ok...

                    1) Me2 your advice is awesome!

                    2) Meaty I love you!

                    On the writing thing... you have a natural talent for it that really, I see no use in taking classes on something you're already good at. With that said, I think you should find something you're passionate about, and use your talent for writing to supplement that other thing to create a career you love.

                    Also consider this... I went to college right out of highschool, and changed directions a couple times before I ran out of money. Went to work in the real world and now, years later I know better who I am and what I want- and I have a ton of skills that will make me more successful in school that I didn't have when I was 20.

                    It's ok to not know what you want to do right now, and while I'm not saying you should quit school and be a bum, I am saying that there's no rule that says you have to do it right now either. Personally, I'm glad I couldn't finish school the first time through and had to work. Now I can choose to go back and do something that I really want to do, instead of doing what I was told I *should* do. Ya know? (Just food for thought.)

                    And you have a perfectly wonderful figure. Embrace it!

                    Oh, and check out The Red Book by Sera Beak. Something tells me you could use it.

                    Comment


                    • Hello again! I'm having a hard time keeping up with your blog! I'm sorry things are not going well for you!

                      I saw somewhere you were using baking soda and ACV for your 'poo? I do, too. Seems to me you'd said something about how your hair was after 'pooing... We have a water softener and baking soda is used AS a water softening agent. I started using 2 Tbsp soda and now have it less than 1 tsp to shampoo with. I'm using less than 1 Tbsp ACV as a rinse. Were you the one that asked about 'how' to use the soda? Did you really scrub it in to your scalp? I read just the other day you're to leave it on for a minute (post scrubbing) before rinsing. Then you leave the ACV on for a minute before rinsing. I just leave the ACV on while i shave. Now, i DO cheat in that I use "Horse and Mane" (or Mane and Tail??) shampoo and conditioner once/wk (i sue the BS and ACV twice/wk). It settles down the fuzzies of the BS, but i still like it as a better alternative to expensive and likely toxic shampoos...

                      Now, about your skin. Again, I'm not caught up on your blog but i see you writing about it and i don't know what avenues you've tried.

                      My story is that I'm 52, mom of 5. Probably 5-6 yrs ago, i noticed I had this red "rash" type thing on my face and had it diagnosed as Rosacea about 4 yrs ago. I used a topical antibiotic on it for 2.5 yrs then saw a dermatologist. she gave me an oral antibiotic and a "new" topical cream. This was at the beginning of 2009. Online friends started telling me about Bee Wilder's "Healing Naturally" candida program and people who had been healed of their rosacea. I started following Bee's pgm last March (her pgm: no grains, dairy, starches, fruit, sugar - pretty primal) and noticed my skin improving within weeks.

                      Bee reminds us that our skin is our largest organ and it's one place where the body dumps toxins.

                      If you've not checked out her site, perhaps you'll find something that might help you?

                      http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com/index.php

                      all the best to you!

                      Comment


                      • Heya Meatzza!

                        Life got ya down?

                        You should become a hater. Hatin' on people is fun, and it burns calories.

                        Okay gotta go kick a nun into a puddle of icy slush now! Have fun

                        Comment


                        • it1958: Uh, I have long hair. It reaches my mid back. I dissolve a tbsp. of BS in one cup of water and pour it on my head.
                          I can't "rub" it...! There's nothing to rub! It's water and it just kinda runs through my hair... My scalp is dry and there's no lather to rub, so I'm not sure what you mean. Beside my hair is extremely prone to getting tangled. If I try to lather it, it will not only be greasy and flat but also tangled.
                          Are you saying I should just use the powder without the water and rub it into my scalp?

                          And I don't have rosacea. I used to have acne then I went off grains, dairy and became an adult and it subsided.
                          Now it's just disgusting scarring and a varied array of other problems that will not be solved by diet or anything really (maybe plastic surgery and inheriting smaller pores).
                          Thanks for the advice though, I appreciate your willingness to help.

                          I'm now reading (because I have the attention span of a retarded goldfish on cocaine) The Rapid Fat-loss (what a lie) Handbook by Lyle McDonald.
                          I was excited and ready to follow this man while he parts the seas and makes bacon fall from the sky; he seemed sort of intelligent and like he did his science research.
                          Then he said "Although it’s far more complicated than this, saturated fats tend to have a negative effect on blood lipids and health."

                          All the credibility went to the dump. I can't for the life of me get past it and care about what he says after that. I tried to read the next few pages and nothing penetrated. My brain is devilishly selective (which is why all positive thoughts and affirmations don't work).

                          And Darth, I'm not depressed anymore. I'm at the next stage: misplaced anger. Lyle's a douche! And what kind of name is Lyle anyway?! IT'S A STUPID NAME! And you're a stupid, fake scientist LIE-EL!

                          :/

                          I don't know what I'm angry at... I think I'm really angry at myself for being a whiner and not being able to figure this shit out. I've been depressed since I was 14... Why can't I get my shit together already?
                          I think if my 16 year old self (with all her hopes and aspiration of me at 22) were to see me, she would be extremely disappointed.
                          (Her exact words would be, I estimate, "Uh, why are you fat?..." and "What the hell did you do to our beautiful body!" and "Oh my god! Your skin is still gross! What's wrong with you?! You're supposed to have figured this out already!"... "You haven't graduated yet?... Great." and "Please tell me you have a hot bf... or a high-paying job... anything!"... "You're 22, and you're living with mom and dad...?!" "And your boobs are still small, augh..." *face palm*)
                          Yeah, I was a bitch. Skinny, self-centred and shallow.
                          God, I miss that girl...!

                          Bottom line, she'll be disappointed. And that's my friends, is worse than any one else being disappointed with you or you being disappointed with yourself –because it's both (great, I found a way to combine my self-loathing and double its effect, yay me).

                          Just ignore everything I say (not that many read this anyway), I'm just venting cause I forgot the password to my obscure blog
                          And writing with pens is hard :/

                          It doesn't end here. I can't be satisfied with staying in this funk so I'm figuring things out (unfortunately for you get to read alllllllll about it ).
                          I think the sucky depression is escalating because at least before I used to have people who believed in me (even though I didn't appreciate it...) and now there's no one! I'm like a deranged flower that needs to be watered with validation for it to flourish into something more than a whiny weed

                          I need one person who loves me so much that they'll slap me in the face, tell me they love me and kick my ass to the point I have no time to be depressed because I'm so freaking busy being awesome.

                          I've searched for the right person for this job or tried to burden others with the responsibility, but now I recognize that the only person who can, and must, do this –is me.
                          Unfortunately, the notion of commitment and responsibility always sends me running for the hills :/
                          Even when it comes to fixing my own shit, my instant reaction is: "Don't know, don't care, see ya later".

                          I've forsaken myself, sold myself out for cheap whores and expensive booze. Now, my guardian (the little voice in my head that is supposed to provide the obligatory pep-talk once in a while) is passed out in his own puke and is too lazy to wake the fuck up.
                          All I've got left is this douche, who keeps saying "man, you're a loser. why even bother? seriously, just quit, just stop... it's too hard, don't make us dooooo thiiiiiiis... it's sooooo haaaaard... life is so hard...!"

                          SHUT UP ALREADY!

                          So, I gotta step up to the plate and get down and dirty. How do I wake the fucker up and make him care about me?

                          My counselling is Feb 3d. I don't wannaaaaaaaaaa goooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (((((((

                          Yeah, and on that note.
                          I've had a lot of peanuts today...
                          And 2 bananas, and strawberries and a bowl of whipping cream (unwhipped) it was like bisque soup but with bananas
                          I also had bas and eggs and I took a picture to show you guys and I was happy for a while and then I got depressed...
                          So... Yeah.

                          Hi :3

                          I'm gonna go and find inspiration in the darkest of places: a crash diet book.
                          "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                          -Raymond Peat, PhD

                          Comment


                          • Sounds like I need to come up there with the Big Blue Clue Bat (tm).
                            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                            My Latest Journal

                            Comment


                            • Um, why post the video of the thing I hate most?! That talentless skank Katy Perry.
                              Are you trying to drive me to suicide :P
                              No, really thanks!

                              Can I pretend the post was never written?... :/

                              <3
                              Last edited by NoSaladWithoutMeat; 01-30-2011, 02:53 PM.
                              "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                              -Raymond Peat, PhD

                              Comment


                              • Ouch on the katy perry :/ though that video could be a focus for hatred and bile? A kinda lightning rod?

                                Comment

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