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Monday Is The Day!/ NoSaladWithoutMeat

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  • Love my Canadian poetry class.
    This poem made me laugh so hard I almost cried.
    It's about the perspective of an American on the Canadian winter
    Dedicated to all the Texans

    The Cremation of Sam McGee

    by Robert W. Service

    There are strange things done in the midnight sun
    By the men who moil for gold;
    The Arctic trails have their secret tales
    That would make your blood run cold;
    The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
    But the queerest they ever did see
    Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
    I cremated Sam McGee.

    Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.
    Why he left his home in the South to roam ‘round the Pole, God only knows.
    He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;
    Though he’d often say in his homely way that “he’d sooner live in hell.”

    On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.
    Talk of your cold! through the parka’s fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
    If our eyes we’d close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn’t see;
    It wasn’t much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

    And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,
    And the dogs were fed, and the stars o’erhead were dancing heel and toe,
    He turned to me, and “Cap,” says he, “I’ll cash in this trip, I guess;
    And if I do, I’m asking that you won’t refuse my last request.”

    Well, he seemed so low that I couldn’t say no; then he says with a sort of moan:
    “It’s the cursed cold, and it’s got right hold till I’m chilled clean through to the bone.
    Yet ‘taint being dead—it’s my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
    So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you’ll cremate my last remains.”

    A pal’s last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;
    And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.
    He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;
    And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

    There wasn’t a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,
    With a corpse half hid that I couldn’t get rid, because of a promise given;
    It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: “You may tax your brawn and brains,
    But you promised true, and it’s up to you to cremate those last remains.”

    Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.
    In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.
    In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,
    Howled out their woes to the homeless snows—O God! how I loathed the thing.

    And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
    And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;
    The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
    And I’d often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

    Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
    It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the “Alice May.”
    And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
    Then “Here,” said I, with a sudden cry, “is my cre-ma-tor-eum.”

    Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
    Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
    The flames just soared and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;
    Then I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

    Then I made a hike, for I didn’t like to hear him sizzle so;
    And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.
    It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don’t know why;
    And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

    I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;
    But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;
    I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: “I’ll just take a peep inside.
    I guess he’s cooked, and it’s time I looked;” . . . then the door I opened wide.

    And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;
    And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: “Please close that door.
    It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear you’ll let in the cold and storm—
    Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it’s the first time I’ve been warm.”
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD


    • Haha! That's fantastic!


      • I'd forgotten that one!

        Thanks for the reminder
        "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
        "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
        "Moderation sucks." Suse
        "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
        "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield



        • 'Cept it's not about a Texan.... Why dedicate it to us?
          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
          My Latest Journal


          • Because I imagine Texans to have a similar experience during a Canadian winter
            Since you're accustomed to the heat or something
            Plus I thought most of the people who read my journal from Texas, but I don't think that's true :/
            Don't know why I thought that...

            nothing to report.
            Eating chicken, coconut oil... gonna exercise tomorrow.

            My professor sent me an email and promised I will fail if I miss any more classes even if my plays are good
            Really depressing... :/
            "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
            -Raymond Peat, PhD


            • I happen to LOVE that the fellow was from Tennessee, as I want to live in Tennessee!

              Oh no! Don't miss any more of those classes!

              Yay for chicken and coconut oil. Two of my favorites.


              • Up since, forever.
                At school from 8am to 8pm.
                IF all day.
                2 hour of Karate.

                Who you gonna call?

                I have snack at home, leftovers from a super bigne once upon a time.
                I'm talkin' pie and baked good... But on my way home all I could think of was chicken... in chicken fat... in coconut oil... in butter... in chicken fat...
                But there was no chickenz ((((((((((((((

                I haz the beef now. Grain fed stinky beef, but beef.

                You're gonna love me for this:

                I can't feel any muscles. I also fell on my face into the snow. People laughed.
                An old lady laughed.
                Her dog laughed.
                Everyone was happy.

                "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                -Raymond Peat, PhD


                • I laughed.

                  And was happy.


                  • Did you see the video? Were you happy?

                    "And bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips..."
                    79,000 calories baby,
                    it's how we roll in Montreal!
                    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                    -Raymond Peat, PhD


                    • There's a video? You're stripping off bacon? I've heard about how you guys roll in Montreal, but didn't quite believe the stories...


                      • This video:
                        You dummy.
                        This is how we roll.

                        Inspired me to make bacon wrapped chicken today in cream
                        "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                        -Raymond Peat, PhD


                        • Shit.
                          I failed my French test today.
                          The class is too hard and no matter how hard I try to comprehend the material I'm drowning.
                          I can't drop it because it's past the deadline, if I do... I'll still have to pay for it. This is idiotic.
                          Why would you pay for it in full if after only 2 weeks?... It's not enough to figure out if you like it or not.

                          My loan is late and suddenly the government (without prior notice) wants random documents to be sent ASAP.
                          This tops off my permanent depression... I actually made a counselling appointment because it's worse than usual.

                          I don't know what to do... Do I drop it? Then I'll have to pay for it. If I don't I'll have a failing grade on my record which will ruin my transcript and GPA.
                          The administration doesn't give a shit.

                          I'm upset. I can't believe I studied yesterday and I couldn't remember a single thing. I feel like an idiot.

                          This would be a good day to binge to make me feel better but there's nothing to eat.
                          "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                          -Raymond Peat, PhD


                          • Oh I am so so sorry. I think you should just drop it & pay. What are your other options? Could you get a passing grade? It is clear that you are v intelligent, we all have those days. If it makes you feel better everyone in my immediate family failed french in HS. That's right, me, my mom, my dad, & my sis. You can make yourself feel better by looking at the new douchy pix.
                            Notebook of a Nutrition Nerd



                            • Sux about the test- can you still pass the class? dropping to avoid the grade is better than having the fail on your record, but talk to your instructor... school blows! I must go back to study now.


                              • *BIG HUG*

                                I'm sorry Meaty. I don't know what to do! I guess the best thing is talk to the instructor and let them know you're having trouble, and look into a tutor. If it's only been a couple of weeks you may still be able to salvage the grade.

                                Sending you good, positive thoughts and lotsa love. <3