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Primal Journal - ravingkiko

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  • #16

    I am barely hanging on without sleep. Dear Diary, please don't think I don't care or have lost my motivation. I'm just too tired to whip my thoughts together. Today at work I stared at space for a good part of the day. I did put together a lengthy email for my doc and came home with an rx for ambien. Please, please let it work. As soon as it is dark, I'm taking my pill and going to bed. Not very paleo, but who cares. I wore mis-matched SHOES to work today.

    So big bullet points:
    sleep - no
    exercise - no
    meals - YES

    I bought a new pair of shoes after work. Bought them at Born to Run and I got the Leming in black. They feel so comfy. These shoes are unique in my closet so if I wear them there is no chance of screwing up my footwear.

    I'm just going to keep on, keepin' on: try like hell to sleep, don't worry about anything else and eat 99% whole 30 (for want of a better way of naming it)


    • #17

      It's been a few days. I would love to spend more time on this site, but in spite of staying home from work for almost 2 days, I'm too tired. When will I ever sleep again? Woe is I.

      Anyway here's the wrap-up for the last however many days it's been:
      uh, what are my goals...
      food - eating clean, no problems, did have an extravagant treat after work, larabar and a bag of cashews, I normally don't eat nuts with processed seed oils, but what the hell
      exercise - not at all, need to do that, it might really help the sleep
      sleep - 'nuf said

      someday I'll be back to normal


      • #18

        food check
        exercise no
        sleep no


        • #19

          food, great
          exercise, good
          sleep, blah, blah, blah

          i got an amazon fresh delivery. no car, no problem. i use them especially for cat food and kitty litter and all those heavy cans of coconut milk. they also have frozen grass fed meat. it's easy to find organic and local products as the browse function filters for that.

          made slow cooker cheater pork stew. it turned out so delicious (i think nom nom paleo and the following site, clothes make the girl, are the tops in paleo cooking sites).

          was going to roast cauliflower, but didn't. maybe tomorrow with leftover stew.

          went to the spice market and bought chai tea: chipotle and sweet. that's to go with all those cans of coconut milk that were delivered this morning.

          bought jumbo eggs at pike place market creamery. i don't eat dairy, but i go through a ton of eggs, and their eggs are the most delicious. they have raw dairy and grass fed and cultured butter. they are just a stone's throw from the grass fed butcher, bb market, in pike place.

          i'm really lucky to live in downtown seattle. there is a lot of organic/sustainable/local...products available. i haven't even touched on the abundant farmer's markets and a multitude of shops in (what seattle officially calls) chinatown/international district.

          and i got my hair cut. i feel tons better. let's hope it shows up on the pillow tonight.

          lots of links today. i do like to link.


          • #20

            I slept better last night (really, no fooling). It actually felt like I fell asleep. I didn't sleep very long, maybe 5 hours, but it's been weeks...I don't even remember how long it's been since I felt sleep. I just started taking some supplements last week, maybe they helped. Or maybe it was the haircut.

            The food plan is going great.
            My weight today is 186, I've lost 4 pounds in approximately 2 weeks; and that's under less than optimal circumstances.
            All my chores are done for the weekend: laundry, cleaning, and cooking.
            I think I will go take a walk.


            • #21

              I walked around the block a couple of times at lunch AND I went to the gym after work and did 30 minutes on the elliptical. I was a little more anxious about food today...wanting something, but don't know what, not hungry. That's the reasons I went to the gym. I figured it would take up some time so I wouldn't have as long to crave something. Also it will just make me feel better about myself.

              I didn't cave in to any food longing. It was strange, I eat lunch in front of a wall of machines filled with crap, and rather than craving anything there, I looked at it with disgust. But I still felt like I wanted a healthy snack food. I better get some nuts for my desk and maybe bring some kombucha to work too. I wasn't hungry and hate to start eating just to feed my face, but better to cave into something healthy than sugar and starch. Hopefully, if something is available, I won't long for it. I think maybe it was just that there were so many snacks, but nothing that I could eat.

              I slept pretty soundly for over 5 hours last night. I wish it were longer, I have so much catching up to do, but I'll take it. I wasn't a zombie at work today. I still can't multitask, that's for sure, but I did get a little work done.

              I'm still going to keep it simple around here: food, exercise and sleep. I'll think about taking on other tasks when I see that the sleep is going to keep coming.


              • #22
                Wow, It's been a few days! Monday night I had no internet access, still the same Tuesday night, so Wednesday I contacted carrier to see what's up, ended up needing a new modem, which arrived last night, and today, here I am again. How did I do away from the journal? 80/20! Not the 96.7% I have been experiencing, but well within the realm of OK. If I make myself write a thorough recap I'll probably just walk away and go do something else, so let's move on shall we?

                It's the weekend and time to cook-up for the coming week. I have a pork shoulder roast resting in a rub of Tsardust Memories that will go into the slow cooker tomorrow morning. Here's the Nom Nom Paleo recipe and here's Clothes Make the Girl describing her spice cabinet which is where I learned about Tsardust Memories. I love that stuff.

                I'm also going to make one or two batches of ground beef scramble. I need to make up a short name that conveys, the flexibility of the ingredients yet, the rigidness of the structure. Maybe I'll start calling it 4-lb Fry-up. It consists of 1-lb grass fed ground meat, 1-lb coarsely chopped onions, 1-lb chopped greens, and 1-lb large chunks of other vegetables; 4-lbs. I cook it in 1-3 tablespoons of coconut oil (depending on the fat content of the meat), lots of spices and, depending on how it's spiced, 1/2 cup of either homemade bone broth or marinara sauce or coconut milk or apple juice. Package it in 4 2-cup Pyrex bowls and feel very pleased with myself when it's all done. (Not so pleased with my proposed name though. I'll have to keep working on that.)

                I've been so hankering to speak up here that I'm writing before breakfast and now I'm hungry talking about all that food. Chow!

                Had a great day. It was house cleaning day. Here's how I do it.
                Step 1 - Set the timer for 30 minutes, work really hard. When the timer goes off, stop.
                Step 2 - Set the timer for 90 minutes, do whatever I want. When the timer goes off, stop.
                Repeat step 1 and step 2.
                That method resulted in 3 hours of house cleaning. Couldn't I just do three hours at once and get it over with? No, I couldn't. This works for me and during the 90 minute play segments I really do what I want, no guilt, no feeling lazy.

                I'm sleeping so much better. So much better in fact that I forgot to mention it. I feels really good to want to do more than the minimum for maintenance.
                Last edited by ravingkiko; 04-07-2012, 09:20 PM.


                • #23
                  Good grief! Do you ever read back over prior posts and just want to edit grammar and punctuation? I just did and had to force myself not to touch anything. I'm not a stickler either. i wud be just as hapi to rite lik this, but decided when I started journaling that I would try to write standard English.

                  I don't have a camera but I can document my progress using snaps from my webcam. They aren't the best quality photos, but they do convey my general shape. I want to get an iphone (more about that to come) so perhaps in the future I'll have better images (both in photo quality and subject matter).

                  cropped front 04012012.jpg cropped side 04012012.jpg

                  I want to adjust my reward structure. I know, good health should be it's own reward, but it's nice to look forward to something at the completion of good work. My first stated reward when I lose 10 pounds is a spice grinder and The Flavor Bible. Those are great rewards, but in reality they are both something I would buy for myself anyway. I'm not made of money, but I can usually find $40 to purchase things that are not required, but will be fun and well-used.

                  What would be a real reward be; something I wouldn't otherwise indulge myself in? Well, there are several things I want, but they are expensive, and I have no problem talking myself out of them; off the top of my head: new couch, dining chairs, bike or bike, iphone or ipad, travel, travel, travel. So here's the new reward system: $50 per pound lost! Once I reach my final weight goal (we won't know the number until we get there, will we) I think $50 per week for each week I stay under my goal. Ongoing the money can used for travel (I don't want to just keep buying consumer goods, you know). I have a habit of denying myself expensive treats like travel, and I really want to stop doing that. By the way, if I get to just one of my travel destinations, I'll be really happy.

                  So let's get back to the work I need to do to get to my goal.

                  Meals: Doing great here. I'm cooking pork shoulder and onions/cabbage/carrots in the slow cooker right now. Along with the three frozen fry-up meals I have packaged and in the freezer, and the cauliflower and greens and eggs and sardines and frozen berries and raw pecans and chai tea and coconut milk, I should make it quite happily until next Saturday.

                  Exercise: I've been so disabled by insomnia that I could hardly do anything, but I'm sleeping now and feel so, so, much better that's there's no excuse for not getting this done. Because of a bone spur on my left foot and arthritis in my right knee (cause and effect?), I have trouble walking any meaningful distance, so I use the elliptical at the gym. This week I'm going to the gym after work every day (M-F) for at least 30 minutes on the elliptical. (note to self: what about the hr monitor? help or hindrance?)

                  Sleep: I've made several changes and don't know which ones resulted in my getting back to sleep. Maybe it was just the passage of time, but I'm not taking any chances. This week I will continue (1) get up at or before 6:30am, (2) turn on all the lights in the house as soon as I get up, (3) take my supplements, (4) spend some time outside, (5) dim the lights at 8:00pm, (6) lights out by 10:00pm, (7) turn on the fans, (8) wear my Bucky sleep mask.

                  Fasting: This is a new process I want to incorporate. I think I have a good enough handle on the preceding three items to add one more without throwing myself into a tizzy. I'm going to keep it really simple; one 24-hour fast, from dinner to dinner, sometime this coming week.


                  • #24
                    I've got to try this. I haven't sprinted for several reasons, but I think I might be able to manage this. I definitely have stairs, I live on the 9th floor. I can walk upstairs, so I hope bounding and hopping won't flex the-toe-that-will-not-flex. I copied this from on MDA site so I can find it easily.

                    Workout #5: Stair Drills
                    This workout mimics the Sprint Drills but is conducted on stadium or building stairs. Your flight of stairs should take between eight and thirty seconds to ascend. Take thirty seconds rest between each exercise, or more or less as needed to feel refreshed and get your breathing under control.
                    4 x warm-up stair climbs at three-quarter effort. When you reach the top, return immediately down the stairs at a comfortable pace, then ascend again.
                    2 x single stairs. Ascend one stair at a time with rapid leg turnover. Descend comfortably and repeat effort.
                    2 x bounding stairs. Ascend by skipping as many steps as you can. Focus on keeping your balance rather than speed. Descend comfortably and repeat effort.
                    2 x hopping stairs. Take off and land on both legs, taking either one or two stairs at a time. Use handrail if you are concerned about slipping and proceed with caution. Descend comfortably and immediately repeat effort.
                    2 x one-legged stairs (caution: very advanced exercise). Ascend stairs by hopping on one leg, one stair at a time. Using a handrail for support highly recommended.
                    4 x full speed stairs. Skip desired number of stairs with each stride to get the top as fast as possible. Descend comfortably and recovery completely between efforts.
                    Read more: Sprint Workout Suggestions | Mark's Daily Apple


                    • #25
                      Still not exercising! Today my excuse was "I didn't bring my gym clothes". How lame that sounds... I just got up from my chair and put my gym clothes in my bag for tomorrow. There is not a single reason I can't go to the gym after work tomorrow. I did at least walk 1.3 miles today (according to google maps).

                      Food is still going great, except for the tiny bit of stevia, I'm whole30.

                      I attempted a 24 hour fast on Monday, dinner to dinner. I made it until 2:30 in the afternoon and caved. I don't think that's going to work out so great for me. Today I did a 16 hour fast from dinner to lunch and think I will do the same tomorrow. It was no problem at all. I do kind of miss my chai tea in the morning, but I bought some decaf black tea and am having it at night instead.

                      Sleep is coming along great. I am really starting to feel normal again. I still have deep, dark circles under my eyes, but my glasses disguise them a little.


                      • #26
                        I have been in excruciating pain. Last night I had a terrible reaction to my pain med.

                        I have been eating properly with the exception of a latte yesterday morning (made with heavy cream). I had to have something on my stomach to take a pill while at the Dr. and that seemed the least bad of my available choices.

                        I just don't have the mental fortitude to write here. I can cut myself some slack and hope that you can too, Diary. I hope I get well soon.

                        I just noticed! I'm a member now, no more junior!
                        Last edited by ravingkiko; 04-17-2012, 09:38 AM. Reason: I'm a member!


                        • #27
                          Hope you feel better soon.
                          I like your tip about setting the timer to do housework in "bursts."