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Candy in Primal Wonderland

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  • Well, I've probably missed exactly what your dear son did, but, assuming it wasn't drug or violence related, maybe someone could accompany him to school. Not you -- that'd be way too off the wall for any young person to take -- but maybe some beautiful, responsible young adult you know -- preferably a gorgeous type body guard! What a difficult time for him and you and those around you. Speaking as a professional educator, he needs to be in the "system" some way -- even if homeschooled. I don't see the online education as working well. Lots of kids around here doing that and just sort of dropping out of everything and playing video games.

    Homeschool is great -- I did it with three of my four -- but it takes a huge amount of commitment and time on the part of the educator AND the student.

    What does he really want to study and learn?

    Comment


    • Pam, no drugs or violence involved (heaven thanks for that at least); he has ADHD and ODD (Oppositional defiant disorder). I've been asking for help for years now, saying to his psychiatrist (whom he sees once a year and limits his actions mostly to saying "oh well, he's in puberty" and prescribing Ritalin) that maybe he would benefit from behavioral therapy (response from psychiatrist: "oh, but if he doesn't want to do that, it's not going to work you know" IN FRONT OF DS1! Talking about sabotaging a parent???). Anyway we ended up on waiting lists and tomorrow I finally have an appointment with a therapist for him.

      Homeschooling in Belgium is near to impossible. Maybe in lower grades it is doable, but not at his age. Homeschooling my son would be suicide (for ME) anyway. We would be in fights every day, because he's just...well...defiant and oppositional *sigh*.

      He is studying (well, not really, you know what I mean ) graphics and printing, and he says he likes it (well, not the studying part, but the printing part). There is a school nearby that has a similar curriculum (printing), less theoretic and more practice. But he can't go there now, because it's not the same level as he's doing now (it's a level lower). So for the time being he needs to stay in the same level/same curriculum.
      My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
      My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
      Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
      Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

      Comment


      • Oh, bummer. That is hard. But it seems to come down to the stimulation from the school. If the teachers don't stimulate the kids.... That's always been my take. ex. I remember a wonderful young man in one of my advanced Spanish classes. He was full of humor, polite, intelligent -- well, pretty much the ideal student (he did go on Latin time so he was often a bit late). Anyway, I guess the teacher next door saw me talking to him outside my door and later came to me and said something like -- "Isn't he just the most awful student you ever had. He is so rude and disruptive, etc. etc." It was bizarre. Anyway, I asked the student something light about his "health" class. Come to find out, any time a student did anything he didn't approve of, he made them stand in the hallway with a foot in each square (linoleum) for a period of time. He put the students down, told them they were stupid, etc. So, my whole take on the labels is that if you treat people right, not that they don't have those issues, but that they are really workable. I had a lovely lady in one of my classes who was one of the most hyperactive kids I ever had. She could not sit still and, of course, that could be distracting. So, I said, "Okay, how about I give you a desk in the back and then you can squirm and sit on top of your desk." She loved the idea and sat on top of her desk and was still and comfortable and participated hugely and was brilliant. An administrator came into observe the class once and asked me about it. I said, "Oh, she's more comfortable that way and doesn't disrupt anyone. She needs a bit of moving space." He could see that was obviously true. She, BTW, is a famous environmentalist now and works on big ships investigating things! Wonder what's going on teacher-wise where your DS is having trouble!

        Comment


        • You sound like a lovely teacher....no chance of you moving to Belgium and being my son's teacher?

          I'm thinking...one of the schools on the "possible schools" list is doable in distance if he goes to live with my sister, who lives in Brussels. Maybe that would be good for all of us. My sis lives alone, DS1 is her godchild and they have a special bond. She would be able to give him more attention than I do (because he's not alone here). DS2 and DS3 would have quite days without their brother (he gives them a hard time too sometimes). DH and me could relax a bit more on weekdays and be able to handle him better on weekends. He adores is aunt, so I think he would be happy to do that...looks like a win-win for the whole family, huh? I know my sis will agree, but don't know DH's thoughts about it, will talk tonight. And this is of course if this school is willing to take him...
          My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
          My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
          Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
          Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

          Comment


          • I'd love to teach him. Logistically a wee bit hard though:-) Yep, give me teenagers to teach at any and all times. It's those little five year olds in class that would probably do me in:-)

            That might work. It'd certainly give him a fresh start at school, and it's not like it's permanent! Summer isn't that far away. It's hard once you get a bad rep to overcome it. It might be just the thing -- especially with just a few gentle guidelines! Keep us posted. Bet he's a neat kid.

            Comment


            • Congratulations on your success! It looks wonderful. I'm glad it's not under my nose though. Could be hard to turn down.

              I will buy that cookbook. We have a double-birthday/Mother's Day celebration coming up. Vegans, primals, allergic to dairy... I'm tearing my hair out over the cake... I have a vegandairy-free recipe, but we poor primals are going to be deprived. Perhaps I'll make primal biscotti...

              And can I possibly make up that cake without snitching any batter? Stay tuned.
              5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
              Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
              Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

              More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
              - Lewis Mumford

              Comment


              • Well, he's not a bad kid, he just has an attitute problem sometimes. Talked to DH about it and he wants to consider it. My sister would be happy to keep him with her. Let's see what's the outcome tomorrow.

                My eats today: I did NOT eat any of the stuff I baked yesterday, instead stayed very primal
                B: usual coffee + coconut milk, 2 brazil nuts
                L: leftover crustless quiche, piece of roasted chicken, salad with 1 tbsp Greek yoghurt
                D: mashed sweet potato with mizuna, braised leeks and pork loin from free range Spanish pigs (iberico, they live in oak forests and eat acorns)

                1197 cal
                74g protein
                74g fat
                63g carbs

                No snacks, didn't feel hungry. There is still room for something, but I'm too tired to eat I think.

                Hey...too tired to eat???? IN pre-primal days "tired" = "snack all day on high-carb-high-sugary things". In "old" days the kind of stress I have over my son would equal the same thing. I would have stuffed my face with candy bars, chocolate, cookies, pastries,....those things I baked yesterday would have been all eaten! My DS3 would say: "who are you and what have you done to my mom!"
                My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
                My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
                Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
                Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

                Comment


                • Wow, school in Belgium seems so complicated! Here, all the schools follow the same, if not similar, curriculum. the different specialized studies come in college. I hope the school will take him so you guys can get his education in. Best of luck.
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                  Comment


                  • Congratulations Candy! Wonderful news about your accomplishment as a baker! I am so sorry about the hassles with DS1! I really hope you can find a solution to the dilemma and that he can find a niche where he is motivated to try and deal with his attitude. Let us know what happens there! And WELL DONE on not eating all the goodies and not doing the emotional eating as a result of being tired and stressed! Go girl! I am proud of you
                    Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                    Primal low: 186 lbs
                    Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                    Goal weight: 140 lbs

                    "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

                    Comment


                    • @Jenn it's a technical school, that's why it's different.
                      Talked to my sister and DH, if the school near to my sisters house accept him he'll go stay with my sis for a few weeks. I called the school, I have to call back Monday at 4 o'clock to see if they can accept him (they need to discuss/decide this in a meeting with the school board).

                      The meeting with the therapist was really good, she's convinced there's an emotional background to his behavior (I agree), but that it will be hard for him (being a boy and adolescent) to talk about emotions; so she's going to focus on behavioral therapy to start with, and when they 'connect' she will try to move on to the emotional plan. I was happy to be able to talk about all the sh*t that's been going on, it took some pressure off. Had a talk with DS1 when I got home, no yelling, no being angry, just calm. Told him I love him but he's giving us (and himself) a hard time. Asked him to try and make the best of the coming weeks and try his best to get at least some good results. It's still a very stressful situation and it will still be until we find a new school, but I decided it's no use to be angry all the time. It consumes so much energy and doesn't solve anything anyway. The past is past, there's no way to fix it....we can only make the best of the situation and try to do our best for the future.

                      The red velvet cake I wanted to bake for the competition turned into a volcano in my oven, I really don't know how this happened! First time I made this recipe so I suppose something is seriously wrong with it . I had to start all over and just didn't have the energy yesterday evening. I had a meeting with a therapist this morning and didn't come home till lunchtime. Had to decide if baking cake and being super stressed the rest of the day, or make dinner (wouldn't have time left for both!). Decided to ditch the cake/competition and make a nice beef stew for dinner (with fries for my guys). My sons luckily understood, DS3 said "hey mom, that will be a relief for the other moms, now at least they have a chance of winning ". Did I ever say how much I love this little guy ?

                      DS1 is peeling potatoes for the fries as I'm typing this! I'm going to ask him to help out some more in the house, hoping it will bring us a little closer again.

                      Eats today:
                      B: coffee, heavy cream, 2 brazil nuts
                      L: leftover iberico pork loin, BAS with 1.5 HB eggs, 2 tbsp Greek yogurt as dressing
                      S: Greek yogurt with strawberries
                      D: flemish beef stew (it's with beer, I know, is there really that much gluten in beer? Didn't have time to go look for gluten-free beer, next time!) with BAS and roasted sweet potato (fries for the kiddo's)
                      My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
                      My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
                      Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
                      Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

                      Comment


                      • That's the wonderful thing about having several kids; there's always one making you tear your hair out, and another one giving you warm fuzzies. Then after a couple of years, they switch places... But there's always one to console you.

                        All in all, it sounds like you're handling the situation very well. Congrats that you're not trying to binge on "comfort" foods in response. You will be much more comforted to know that you're staying in control.
                        5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
                        Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
                        Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

                        More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
                        - Lewis Mumford

                        Comment


                        • Yes I am, I was even able to loose 1.5 kg this week! I'm feeling so good physically and have tons of energy, I'm amazed at how well I'm coping with all the stress. If this had happened last year I would have been mentally and physically in pieces.
                          DS1 was out of the house from Friday evening till today noon, so DH and me focuses on ourselves and our other 2 boys a bit . We went to CrossFit yesterday morning and the WOD just gave me a kick, I felt so good! Yesterday afternoon it was school fair at DS2 and DS3's school. I had withdrawn from the cake-contest (it was just too much, the cake turned into a volcano in my oven and I didn't have enough time to make another one) and I'm happy I did: all the cakes were the same: spongecake with lots of sugar paste/fondant all over. There were some really pretty ones and the winner was just beautiful, but I decided that if I participate next year I will go for something completely different. I don't want to make "pretty" cakes that taste the same as all the others, I want to bake things that have better taste and are healthier (our way, not CW-way), no matter if that won't give me a chance of winning. And if it's like a beauty-contest I (like it turned out to be) I couldn't care less if my cake doesn't win. I want people to eat it and say, damn, this stuff tastes great!
                          Anyhow, we had a nice afternoon talking to other parents and teachers, seeing our kids perform on stage .
                          Yesterday evening we went to my cousin's birthday party and had a great time talking and laughing A LOT! My cousin and his girlfriend announced they are expecting a baby, I'm so happy for them!

                          This morning I went to pick up DS1, then home for lunch and this afternoon we went to visit DS2's new school (he's now in 6th grade and will be going to this school in September), it's a technical school (Industrial Sciences, electromechanics, electronics,...), very interesting to see all this machinery they learn to work with.

                          All in all I had a great weekend . I've refueled body and mind and am ready to start a new week tomorrow .
                          And now off to read all your journals and see what you girls have been up to! Missed you!
                          My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
                          My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
                          Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
                          Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

                          Comment


                          • Busy week-end celebrating, I see. Glad you had a great time.

                            Strangely enough, it was me baking cakes this weekend: one vegan, one primal.
                            5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
                            Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
                            Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

                            More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
                            - Lewis Mumford

                            Comment


                            • Thinking of what I want to do with my bakery diploma (in Belgium you must have this diploma if you want to sell any baked goods). I'm thinking of working on recipes without gluten/grains (maybe some with grains but glutenfree) and bake on order; I can't really sell it to people who have gluten-allergies, as I simply can't assure my kitchen/oven are sterile (I still do bake with flour sometimes too, as people ask me to) but I guess I could sell them as having "low GI-impact", for example for diabetic people. Also the boss at my CrossFit seemed interested if I'd start a kind of paleo-baking and said he wouldn't mind me selling at his gym . Second thing I want to do is continue working on my recipes and write a gluten/grainfree recipe book (I think mainly desserts though). I know more and more people are being gluten-intollerant/allergic, and I've been looking around and there aren't many glutenfree recipe-books available here in Belgium. I'd love to do that, and now I have the energy to really do it. I'm going to start working on recipes in my spare time. For the baking "on order" part I'll have to wait for my paper diploma anyway .
                              My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
                              My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
                              Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
                              Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

                              Comment


                              • Fun to be planning, isn't it?
                                5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
                                Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
                                Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

                                More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
                                - Lewis Mumford

                                Comment

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