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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • Jenn, over the last few days I've read your entire journal, enjoyed it a lot. Funny how you get to "know" someone from their journal. It's not an easy thing putting your thoughts out there for all to read. You're an intelligent and caring young woman.

    Holding down a job, taking classes, keeping house, trying to be a good example for your children and being responsible for shopping and preparing food for everyone like you do is HARD and few can do it without problems every now and then. It shouldn't all be on you to get everything done perfectly. As your kids grow, they can help you clean up, make it a game with prizes and praise them like crazy when they help out. Until then, DH has to pitch in and do as much as you, it's only fair. It would be totally different if you stayed at home full time.

    IMO neither injury looks bad at all. It's what happens in the lives of children. You seem to be doing a great job of keeping them alive, and once in awhile crap happens, you take note of it and move on.

    Your husband certainly needs to change his way of dealing with things and never again ever speak negatively about you in front of your children. I was as mad as you when you left the house and could certainly feel your pain and anger. He must know in the future that you won't tolerate being made to look like it's your fault when life happens in some slightly negative way.. This will cause disrespect to you from your kids and you don't want that instilled in them at this young age.

    Don't beat yourself up when something happens. Most likely you will watch those little fingers so closely in doors from now on, and you'll get your point across about the chance of things that could fall.. It's not like you can move everything in their way forevermore. They will learn from this themselves and be ready for the future. But respect for their mother, who is doing the best she can, is so very important for their little brains to capture, and you've got to drive that home to everyone in the house.

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    • A pic of the aforementioned pinkies (well, one of the more extreme pinky.)
      Last edited by naiadknight; 10-02-2012, 12:11 PM.
      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
      My Latest Journal

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      • Naiad, your pic didn't come through.

        Question for y'all...

        I read in PBPM last night that the body only needs like 0.7 gm of protein per kilogram of ideal body mass... she used the example of 150 lbs person. At 2.2 lbs per kilogram, 150 lbs would be 68 kg. 68 kg x 0.7 gm of protein is only 47 gm of protein per day... anything more than that either spurs further growth (cell proliferation - her example was cancer) or conversion to sugar and then to fat...

        Seriously? That little? Today alone, according to my tracker, I'm consuming 78 gm of protein... Who's right here? Mark with his 0.7 gm per pound or her 0.7 gm per kilogram???
        Primal since March 5, 2012
        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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        • I've heard both. I honestly don't know, but I stick with Mark's estimations. Much tastier Yeah, I can't imagine only eating one tin of sardines and a few eggs everyday. I think I could probably get by on that, but I don't think I'd be able to build any muscle.
          Depression Lies

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          • My body has let me know that it prefers that formula done in terms of pounds. If I get below 70-80g for several days running, all I want is a huge hunk of meat, bloody if possible.
            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
            My Latest Journal

            Comment


            • Hmmm... Lemme retry the pic.
              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
              My Latest Journal

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              • Pic is working for me. On the topic of crooked fingers, I think kids rarely blame other people for those kinds of things. Boyfriend has broken all fingers at one point or another and chalks them all up to his own stupidity/fooling about, not anybody's lack of attention or being unable to move quickly enough. Eventually he stopped telling people when he got hurt, but he's weird

                My ring fingers tilt in towards my middle fingers, they look sloped, but I don't think I did anything for that to happen. Or maybe it's because I've always held my pencil wrong (middle finger on the pencil instead of index).
                Depression Lies

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                • My parents used to joke that they knew I was gonig to be a writer when I grew up because of the then constant callus on my middle finger from writing all the time. It's gone, now, but it's been replaced with ring calluses (the ones on palm of my hand right under where my rings sit) and calluses on the tips of my fingers from typing and clicking.
                  Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                  My Latest Journal

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                  • I still have a callus on my finger from writing so much as a child.

                    Brad and I are going to talk tonight. Face-to-face. And I FB messaged my doctor, explained to her how I was feeling and asked her to call in another prescription for Ativan to get me through this rough patch. Explained the situation and that I feel my anxiety is situational b/c of the hormone flux due to getting off BC, the injuries my kids experienced, the turbulance with Brad, etc. Hopefully she'll humor me and send in a Rx for 5 pills or something. The most she's ever given me at a time is 10. I told her I could schedule an appointment for Friday afternoon or Monday, but I'd like the prescription refilled before then if possible.

                    I feel, after talking to brad via email a little while ago, overwhelmed and uncontrolled again and am considering taking another ativan to level me out. But it's my last one and if she says no and things fire up again, I'll be without.

                    God damn, anxiety sucks! I hate it.

                    Off to class now. Hoping some time in class will distract me and I can let loose in my hunny's arms later tonight.
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                    • Brad and I had our talk last night. We discussed things around the house, money, how we talk to the kids, how we talk to each other, how neither of us want a divorce so we need to change how we treat each other, Brady's head wound, and how I need to stop being so hard on myself. Fewer tears were shed than I had expected. We sealed the deal like any married couple should...

                      New plan: we're going to be a team. No one has a specific job but everyone is responsible for everything. He and I are going to sit down and look at the financial plan to ensure that I haven't left anything off that needs attention (like the $100 oil changes for the truck!). Any other time I've given him the budget he's glanced at it and disregarded it. I asked him to take an active role in it so that we can get things under financial control. I see the light at the end of this tunnel and it's bright so it must be close.

                      I feel MUCH better today. No more anxiety. No more flashbacks of that brick falling on my boy's head. No more fighting tears at work. Things are good. Communication is something he and I have never focused on, and it feels good to have sat down and talked to him. I think it's the first time we've had a real serious "state of the relationship address" in the 7 years we've been married. He was very accommodating and was very eager to agree to help out - no defensiveness or hostility like I usually get. He said the other night when I stormed out of the house and the kids asked where I was going was the most scared he's ever been b/c he didn't know what to tell them or where I was going or when I'd be back. I left to take a walk b/c otherwise I was going to blow up - needed some time to chill out, relax, and calm down. He wasn't sure what I was doing.

                      Anyhow, I think we're both on the same page now. The last thing I told him is that I want to be a team and he agreed.

                      So, on to less depressing conversations.
                      Primal since March 5, 2012
                      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                      • Day 3 of my 30 Day 100% Primal experiment. YAY! So far I'm doing well, despite the stresses I've felt the last few days. Weight is down to 185. I am hopeful this trend will continue.

                        Realized I made a mistake with the credit card... Evidently I made a payment before the billing cycle ended, but didn't realize it, thinking I'd made the September payment... nope. That $250 applied to August. Just went online to make the October payment and saw the minimum payment due was $570! I was like WTF??? Yeah, no payment was applied to September at all b/c I made it a day too early. WTF. That's so goddam stupid!! It appears the August billing cycle ended on 9/4. My payment posted on 9/4 so it posted to August instead of September... UGH I hate how credit card companies work. Oh well... I guess that just means there was an accidental snowball thrown at that card... To make up for it, our Christmas club is losing out of $300 until next month, which will cause our emergency fund to lose out on $300... hopefully no emergencies come up - but on the same token, it'll probably work out in the end b/c Brad's been working a lot of overtime so we'll get extra money here and there to make up for it. It's just frustrating when you KNOW DAMN WELL you made a payment only to find out it was applied to the wrong month. UGH!!

                        Anyhow... Our credit card balances are slowly being chipped into smaller pieces. Credit cards are our main focus right now. Gotta get rid of them if we want to live a less stressful life. Which is the goal.

                        Have a bit of school work to do today, but it won't take long. Might start diving into my research paper for next week. Get that out of the way. Two more papers to produce for this class and then I'm done!!
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                        • I'm so pleased to read this! You guys have done well. Keep working at it and you'll get it running smoothly........ the marriage and family I mean. Its hard getting it all figured out in the early years.

                          I think you two have the tools to make a really good life together.
                          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                          2. Eat to heal
                          3. Move to live
                          4. Embrace today
                          5. Live with intention
                          6. Respect my body
                          7. Cultivate joy
                          8. Find my passion
                          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

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                          • Some interesting figures for y'all to look at.


                            Measurements.jpg
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                            Comment


                            • Yeah Jenn! way to go!
                              1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                              2. Eat to heal
                              3. Move to live
                              4. Embrace today
                              5. Live with intention
                              6. Respect my body
                              7. Cultivate joy
                              8. Find my passion
                              9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                              Comment


                              • Wow. Those are impressive inches.

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