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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • Does sound like a lot of carbs at once, for sure. I'm so afraid of getting back into sugar-burning mode that I try to stay very reasonable on that front. I try to have just one good carb thing a day.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

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    • Originally posted by judg View Post
      yeah, i was good at being a student too. If only they handed out paycheques for it.
      amen!!!!
      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
      2. Eat to heal
      3. Move to live
      4. Embrace today
      5. Live with intention
      6. Respect my body
      7. Cultivate joy
      8. Find my passion
      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

      Comment


      • Jenn -- big WOOT WOOT on the 184!!!!! YOU GO GIRL! First goal is SOOO darn close!

        And good job on the Brady boy sleeping in his own room! Progress!

        The job change sounds like it might be a good thing, no? Keep us informed!
        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
        2. Eat to heal
        3. Move to live
        4. Embrace today
        5. Live with intention
        6. Respect my body
        7. Cultivate joy
        8. Find my passion
        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

        Comment


        • Tomi, it depends. Department of Defense employment is so volatile right now. With the cuts to defense spending, they're looking to unload a lot of people to save money. Right now, they're offering retirement to those who are close or are eligible to help cut numbers. They've eliminated the student staff, which REALLY sucks when I need to take a day of leave because I have only one person left in the organization that I can ask to cover for me. The next to go will be new hires. There's a contracting command (they write contracts too) just down the road who was hiring people and are now letting those they hired go b/c of defense budget cuts. I'd almost rather get in at John Deere or another farm implement manufacturer than remain in the government. Which would be easier to do now that my boss has lost a lot of my loyalty - he still hasn't apologized for ripping my ass publicly for something that wasn't my fault.

          My 184 didn't stick around long... stepped on the scale once and it said 185... stepped off and on again: 186. Again, 187. Not sure what's up with my scale other than it sucks. It's a piece that I've had since something like 2005. I remember buying it b/c my dial scale had to be calibrated, if you will, every day with a 10 lb weight before I could use it to accurately take my weight. I remember being upset when the new scale put 3 lbs back on. I felt like I was starting over. Anyway, maybe the scale is just getting old and it's time for a new one - one that won't add a pound every time I get on and off it. lol

          I'm in a bit of a mood this morning. My son, bless his heart, is a dawdler in the morning. ZERO sense of urgency. I was on him for 20 minutes to get dressed this morning. By the time he was dressed, it was too late for him to get breakfast. So, I had to put some cereal in a bag for him to take to school so he could eat breakfast there when the kitchen opened. Of course, he doesn't want to do that. Then we had a fight over whether or not he could have a juice box this morning. I kept trying to tell him that if he drinks his juice boxes when he's at home he won't have any for his lunches and he'll have to drink milk. He couldn't seem to grasp that, so we had an argument about it. I'm so tired of arguing with him. I wish he'd just hear me the first time I tell him something and accept it as what it is instead of trying to bargain everytime. The good news is that with arguing skills like his, he'll make a great lawyer some day - or worse, a politician...

          I'm also starting to realize I really don't like my job. I don't feel like part of the team, especially since the COL ripped my ass, so I don't want to be here anymore. I don't enjoy the work either. I'm going to stick it out (at least remain on the Island) until I'm done with school, but after that I won't hold any loyalties to the Island... that's a little bit of a bummer b/c I wanted to get on the Island for so long. I worked at getting here for 2 years before I finally got on as a contracted employee, and quickly got hired by the government. I was excited and it's just turned out to be less than I had expected. Retirement is good, and that was the whole point (that and getting to continue working for the Army) but now I'm at a point where I really want to find out what my passion is in life and pursue it, rather than just holding a job and bringing home a paycheck. I feel discontent, I guess. Probably I'd be a hell of a lot happier at home...

          Ugh, such doom and gloom. I wish the vitamins would kick in so my mood would elevate... I'm so bummy today! Anyhow, it's Tuesday which means I have a paper to write over material I haven't read yet. Time to get crackin'. Have a good one folks...
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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          • I just discovered a page on Facebook called Prayers for Cheyanne Rae. She's a 9 month old baby who was violently shaken by her father when she was just shy of 8 months old. He caused severe swelling of the brain, bleeding of the brain and fractured her skull. She had to be airlifted to a local hospital and had brain surgery and was sedated heavily for a very long time while the swelling went down. They did xrays and found two ribs that were healing, meaning he'd hurt her before. He is currently in jail awaiting trial - denied any form of bond for hurting this little girl.

            She's beautiful folks. The site made me cry as I'm the mommy of a beautiful little girl and very easily upset by these types of things. I hope he rots in hell for what he did to her. She has survived and has been allowed to go home with her mom after a month in the hospital.

            The world can be such a terrible place. When will people realize that you cannot shake a baby???
            Primal since March 5, 2012
            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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            • I started out the day wearing my older work shoes. They're Mootsie Tootsie brand heels. They look like boots under pants, but have a fat chunky heel instead of a hooker boot style heel. Anyhow, I was wearing those because it's getting to be too cold for my Fast Flats. After 3 hours of wearing them, my left foot hurts right behind the big toe... Yep... 'nuff of that. Back to my raggedy old fast flats. I'm going to have to find some shoes to wear soon - or at least get a couple of other pairs of fast flats to keep at work and I can wear tennis shoes when going to and from the car, I guess.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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              • Have you ever tried Dansko's? They're a bit pricey, but very well made (I'm going on 5 years with my first pair). They're also very comforatable, and fairly stylish but subtle. I have some of their heels, sandals, flats, and the iconic "professional clog" and I love them all.

                Dansko Women's Collection
                My Primal Journal

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                • Thank you Becka. Some of those are really cute. The shoes I was trying to wear earlier are much like the Bennett. Chunky heel, lots of material on top of the foot. They're very tight fitting and comfortable, but the heels I think were what was bothering me. I'm trying to embrace the whole barefoot movement thing Mark has going on, hence the fast flats that I wear at work. They're $12 a pair... they don't last forever - I've had these since like May or June and they're falling apart quickly, but they're also not designed for everyday wear. I'd LOVE to get a pair of Merrill's like these: Women. They're expensive though and I can't justify the expense. But I also have yet to find anything similar at a lower price. I really like the "glove" models like this one: Barefoot Life Delight Glove Wool - Women's - Barefoot Shoes - J56262 | Merrell

                  Surely I can find a ballet slipper that is less expensive than $100...
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                  • Or maybe these: Womens - Champion - Women's Jema Skimmer - Payless Shoes
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                    • Try Walmart and look in the cheapo hanging up section. Plain ballet flats and they're pretty damn thin soled.
                      Also try eBay.
                      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                      My Latest Journal

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                      • Hehehe I found some cute black moccassins at Payless... might get them. They're having a BOGO sale...
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                        • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                          Those are cute! My office requires a bit more fancy than those (and most other barefoot styles). I can get away with flats sometimes, but heels are more the norm, and most of my pants are hemmed for heels, so they are what I tend to stick with. Which leads me on quests to find the most comforatable heels possible.
                          My Primal Journal

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                          • My office is supposed to be business casual, but it's more casual than business because of our environment. We work with military and unless you address someone of really high rank (like a general) heels are usually not needed. Most of us are worker bees... those that need heels are higher ranking officials themselves. Me, I'm low on the totem pole, but I work for a high ranking civilian and a high ranking military (colonel) but again, casual is ok for that... my high ranking civilian has to wear heels, but not me. I'm a desk jockey who answers phones. On most days, no one even SEES my shoes.

                            Next topic: I am starting to focus on my cortisol levels... I need to figure out how to get my cortisol to peak in the AM instead of in the evenings. Right now I think they peak at about 8 pm because that's when I'm my most productive.

                            Recently, my mornings have been hell. Even when I prepare everything I need the night before, mornings are still hell because I have to get myself ready for work, get my son dressed and fed for school, and get my daughter dressed and ready for daycare (she eats breakfast at daycare... son could eat breakfast at school, but he doesn't want to because he wants to play with his friends instead). If I could get up in the morning and have myself ready before getting my kids up from their slumbers, I could concentrate more on focusing my son's attention to his breakfast and getting dressed instead of spending the morning rushing trying to get him dressed and fed and having it be chaotic and frustrating.

                            My ideal morning would be for me to get up early enough to get showered and ready (probably looking at 5 or 5:30), get my son up and dressed (ideally, 6:00), make him breakfast (ideally eggs and bacon and ready by 6:15-6:30), and be out the door by 6:45, ideally... of course, since my cortisol is all jacked up and all I want to do is hit the snooze button in the morning, it's impossible to make this ideal schedule work. And of course, if breakfast is ready and eaten by 6:30 he can watch cartoons without me yelling at him to get dressed every 2 minutes as he zones out at the tube. And heck, maybe I could even eat breakfast WITH him in the morning... It would certainly beat sitting my son down with a bowl of sugar coated rice chex every morning, and I'm sure he'd approve of a different breakfast as well.

                            This is my ideal. And I'm sure this ideal would make my day so much calmer. Having a high stress morning is probably part of the reason my cortisol levels are so jacked... Because I can't get out of bed when I need to, so I rush around all morning long, yelling at my son to get a move on it so we aren't late, and end up late anyway... plus, I'd like to be able to get to work at 7:30 so I can either add a half hour to my lunch so I can get in a really good run and stretch or so I can cut out a half hour earlier. A half hour longer lunch will be nice when it's time to train for my next half marathon, ya know?

                            Does anyone know of a cortisol protocol or something out there that helps to fix cortisol levels? Or can you point me toward a good cortisol source? The weight seems to be moving along just fine as long as I keep fat high and carbs low, so I don't think that's a necessary focus anymore. I need to instead focus on my stress levels and reducing my cortisol output so I can function as a human instead of a fire breathing dragon in the mornings. I'm sure my son would be appreciative if his mom would let him get his stuff done at his own pace instead of rushing him... and my daughter could probably do without the chaos too.
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                            • How consistent are your bedtimes/when do you go to bed/how's your sleep?

                              When I had my cortisol levels checked last year, the doctor told me mine were a little elevated in the evening and a little low in the morning, but nothing outrageous. He said I should get to bed on time consistently for a few months. I stopped playing World of Warcraft and 10:30PM became my new bedtime goal. I'm pretty consistent with it now, and my energy is overall a lot better. I wake up with my alarm at 6:30 AM. I wake up before the alarm if I set it for 7.
                              Depression Lies

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                              • Most nights I'm in bed at or before 10:30. Sometimes I read for a bit, but only for about 15 minutes and sometimes I fall asleep before then. I am up and down all night depending on my kids. Last night, Brady was having trouble sleeping between 12:30 and 1:30 and would holler for me just about the time I fell asleep again. I think I went to him 4 or 5 times in that hour. The rest of the night, everyone slept well. Brad woke me before he left to say goodbye like he does every day about 5 am.

                                On school nights, I may or may not make it to bed by 10:30, but usually not later than 11. Weekends, especially if it's a race night, are later than 10:30, but racing season is coming to an end.

                                This weekend was weird. I was exhausted and slept until 10 am both Saturday and Sunday... actually, I dozed more than slept b/c my kids were up and demanding breakfast. Brad was at work...

                                Oh and when I do sleep, I sleep pretty heavy, I think... just doesn't get to last long for one reason or another.
                                Last edited by jenn26point2; 09-18-2012, 01:04 PM.
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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