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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • Originally posted by tomi View Post
    Jenn --- I'm wondering if you're sugar binge is now causing a crash! Maybe that has a little to do with feelings of depression and stuff? It might take a couple days for your body to clean out all that sugar and balance out again?

    Hope you get it sorted out..........
    Tomi, if this is all caused by sugar I consumed yesterday (and earlier this weekend), then there is no way I'll be able to eliminate sugar from my life for a day, much less 14. I am really really down today - to the point of pessimism - pessimism to the point of doom is near (but not doom as in death, but doom as in the end of things as I currently know them). I don't know... maybe now isn't the time for a radical change in diet. Maybe I need to get this depression in check first, but my diet has been messed up for a minimum of 2 weeks now and I'm afraid that if I don't get it back to the way it was, the depression won't go away. But then again, maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion and some sleep will help... or some fat... mmm bacon. Bacon cures everything, right? It must b/c that question seems oddly optimistic for the pessimist that moved in this morning/late last night.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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    • I thought I was feeling better after eating lunch, but right now I am so anxious I feel sick. I haven't felt this way since my post-partum/pre-deployment days in 07... I hate this feeling. I wish it would go away. I wish I had my Ativan so I could MAKE it go away. I wish I was home...
      Primal since March 5, 2012
      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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      • Sam's and walmart are only affiliated not technically the same company (I can't use my discount there and they can't use their discount at walmart) but so far walmart isnt carrying Kerrygold..I too wanna know what the big deal is but the place I found KG (jewel) it was $6 and I refuse to pay that much for some butter no matter how awesome it is.
        Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
        SW:176
        SPW: 125
        CW: 121
        GW:

        Comment


        • Jenn --- if its related to the sugar then I think you're best bet is to ease back into things to get your diet corrected. If being sugar free is causing the drastic emotional downturn --- then eat a little sugar and see if you feel any better. After binging on sugar and then going cold turkey I think your system is taking quite a beating. Take a few days to ease off the sugar and give your system a chance to slowly detox.

          Just a thought....... ????
          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
          2. Eat to heal
          3. Move to live
          4. Embrace today
          5. Live with intention
          6. Respect my body
          7. Cultivate joy
          8. Find my passion
          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

          Comment


          • I'm with tomi on this one.
            Depression Lies

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            • I'm not sure if this is just coincidence, but I took my supplements mid-morning. At 5:30, I felt so much better. I think it also helped that DH and I were chatting and joking via email with each other. I got my paper done at about 5:15... I don't know if it was the supplements, the chatting or the completion of a project, but I felt much better later in the day. I hope tomorrow is better. I really think I was blowing something out of proportion - it's still a problem, but not as severe a problem as I thought - and blowing things out of proportion is what triggered my anxiety attacks - just like back in 2007 when I last felt that badly.

              I'm going to try to remember to take my supps earlier tomorrow, and will be including l-glutamine to help with sugar cravings per what I read on the IPMG page.

              If things get as bad tomorrow as they were today, I'll seek out some sugar. Promise.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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              • Hugs.

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                • So far so good. Feeling much better today. Ankle still hurts, but head feels better.

                  HONGRY!! Time to eat some eggs and bacon!!
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                  Comment


                  • Missed a lot on here lately, but just noticed your 188, and that is really good! Sorry you've been down lately though. Just wondering if you could have a little fruit for sugar needs. Just a thought. I hope the rest of the week sees your ankle all well and you feeling much better. Dinosaurs sound like fun!

                    Comment


                    • I'm happy to hear you are on the upswing! I tend to blow things out of proportion at times also. It sure makes a mess of things when I do!

                      On the marriage front....... having FUN is so important!!! I think its more important to have fun than it is to have sex! So, find ways to enjoy each other - laugh - be silly - EVERYDAY Its makes a marriage so much better.

                      Have a great day!
                      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                      2. Eat to heal
                      3. Move to live
                      4. Embrace today
                      5. Live with intention
                      6. Respect my body
                      7. Cultivate joy
                      8. Find my passion
                      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                      Comment


                      • And then the shoe drops... I posted an article on facebook and forgot to log out when I finished, so Brad noticed I was online and messaged me. He was all like, 'you should come home and we could spend the whole day in bed' blah blah blah... of course, I'm at work, he has zero vacation time left for the year, etc, so there's no way it was going to happen. He makes a snide comment about how "it wouldn't happen even if it was possible". Another underhanded jab at me for not having a libido... If you recall, I've been working on FIXING that problem by fixing my diet, getting off antidepressants and considering getting off birth control, taking specific vitamin combinations that are supposed to help, etc. I firmly believe the issue is a hormone imbalance, which could be caused by the high dose progesterone birth control I take. I bring up birth control again and he spouts off by saying "Fine. Get off bc, I'll use the damn condoms. whatever it takes to fix this problem b/c I can't go on like this anymore". Seriously?? You can't go on without having sex every flipping day??? this is EXACTLY what I was afraid would happen by him taking testosterone supplements. I KNEW this was going to happen.

                        I am beyond frustrated with this discussion! His snide comments about how sex doesn't happen in our house, blah blah blah really bother me. I didn't CHOOSE to have my libido jacked up. I didn't CHOOSE to have no desire. If it was possible to chose, I would choose for mine to match his in a heartbeat! But he makes it out like it's my choice to not want it... and then gets mad when I do it anyway to please him b/c he says it's not about pleasing him, it's about pleasing me... well, what if I don't want to be pleased???

                        I can see this problem leading to devastating ends... honestly, I do. He's so impatient and non-understanding and non-compassionate/considerate about my feelings with this. He always gets angry about it instead of considering how this whole problem makes me feel. He thinks it's him - like his body or something. It's not. Truly, it's not. I just have no interested in it...

                        He always brings up "back then" when we used to have sex all the time... yeah, that happens in new relationships. It's a cycle I've seen occur with me before... relationship is new, sex all the time, relationship gets older, sex all but stops. Both times, I was on the same birth control. Both times I had zero desire to have sex. Both times, the guy got pissed every time I turned it down so it turned into a "do it so he doesn't pissed" thing.

                        At least I got him to agree to let me discontinue the birth control... maybe that will help. God, I hope it helps. I can't handle having this same argument all the time.
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                        Comment


                        • Rant directed at your husband- Warning: skip it if you are of the 'I can criticize him, but no one else can' variety

                          I know it is likely a hormonal thing for you, but I would POUNCE on his 'whatever it takes' statement, and tell him to put up or shut up. When I read about what you do in a day, I am boggled. Stress definitely impacts hormones.

                          How about he takes over the housework, and the financial worries, oh, and finds and pays for a babysitter out of his allowance whenever he goes racing so you can enjoy watching him, or just being on your own?

                          If he thinks it is his body, why doesn't he address that (regardless of whether it is or not) with food/exercise/sleep instead of trying to make it about you 'rejecting' him?

                          And how about some affection without expectation of sex? When you are relaxed and feeling loved (instead of picked on) it is easier to want it, even when your hormones aren't doing their bit. Seems to me that your husband needs to grow up a bit.

                          Rant over

                          I'm sorry you are going through this, Jenn. It sounds dreadful.

                          Comment


                          • Okay --- I do have to agree with that ^. I'd also jump on the "whatever it takes" statement. Maybe he needs to be shaken out of his "poor me" mindset and realize the problem is a "joint" issue, and its not all about him? Not to say he doesn't also work hard and is tired at the end of the day - but it does sound like you carry the majority of the burden on the homefront.

                            How did the housecleaning and organizing go over the holiday weekend? Did he help you?

                            Have you talked to the doctor about checking your hormone levels to see if things are outta whack?

                            I'd be ditching the bcp and buying condoms AND a spermicide on the way home from work. The last thing you want right now is an unplanned pregnancy. Maybe ask doc about an IUD until you are ready for another baby?

                            Hoping you're day is on the upswing....... {hugs}
                            1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                            2. Eat to heal
                            3. Move to live
                            4. Embrace today
                            5. Live with intention
                            6. Respect my body
                            7. Cultivate joy
                            8. Find my passion
                            9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                            Comment


                            • Thanks Sabine... it's like I was speaking to him...

                              Tomi, he did help this weekend. On Monday I started unloading the dishwasher (again b/c yet again, he hadn't done it yet - I did it 6 times after he said he'd take that over) and he started getting the broken recliner ready to go out the door. I simply mentioned that a lot of stuff needed to happen in the living room before the couch could be brought up and he snapped at me about waiting til the last minute to do things and then ensued the pissiness I enjoyed for the next 3 hours. He and the kids picked up the living room while I moved furniture and vacuumed. Then he moved on to the bedroom, the whole time fighting with our son to help. At one point, I finally said to him "why don't you stop being so pissy?" and he said something about someone else making him pissy. I responded with "you make your own mood what it is". He muttered something about how that isn't how it works but then he stopped being so harsh with Brady and started talking to me better (not to mention saying that helped MY mood). At the point where this whole thing started, I had reserved myself to not having a clean house before the weekend ended so accusing me of waiting til the last minute was obsurd. I was simply doing the dishes for the 2nd time that day.

                              We managed to get the living room cleaned and the couch put in place (we now have two couches in our living room... I'm not sure I like the layout, but it'll do for now) and our bedroom cleaned up nicely. It had been taken over by our kids and contained more toys that adult stuff, two bean bag chairs and a pile of blankets, and a bunch of other crap.

                              Since then, he has unloaded the dishwasher, cleared the counter where he tosses stuff when he comes in, took all the garbage out to be picked up (recently I had been setting it by the curb), and washed/dried all the laundry.

                              Today our argument about sex... which was pretty typical. But, Sabine responded to that rather effectively. It's just frustrating and annoying to have the same discussion all the damn time. My response is always the same... I wish I did, but I don't. Be patient while I continue to work on it.

                              This freaking testosterone bullshit is not making this any easier either. Now he NEVER leaves me alone. It's so annoying!

                              I'm not saying that I don't have problems (communication being number one) that need fixed in the course of correcting the course our marriage seems to be taking, but I feel he's got some significant work to do too. He needs to be more considerate (the other day I was watching a show on DIY, he came in the house, flopped down and immediately changed the channel... um, excuse me, I was watching that!), I don't feel he helps out enough around the house (which is evidenced by his staring at his computer screen while I'm unloading and reloading the dishwasher, making dinner and trying to please two kids by providing drinks and snacks and changing the channell, all of which he could be doing to help out), I think he's pissy too often, spiteful, and resentful and all of this is making me resentful. I think he needs to work on listening skill, patience and compassion as well... I'm sure these were all character flaws that were there when I married him, but I didn't notice them then... Now that I'm the mother bear protecting the den, I notice things I didn't notice before. I'm starting to dislike people I used to like a lot b/c as my drugs wear off, I see what they're really like. DH and I had a running joke that the only way we could tolerate each other was if we were heavily medicated and stopping our medication was grounds for divorce... That was supposed to be a joke, but even so, it's a bad joke.

                              I feel like he's resentful b/c I'm making changes in my life and maybe he feels he's being left behind? Maybe he feels jealous of my changes? I don't know. The waters have been rough for a while (the tone used when speaking to each other, sex, etc), and I hope to hell we can fix it.

                              No one ever said marriage would be easy, but I never expected it to be spiteful and resentful... I try to do my best to go out of my way to be nice. Setting things out for him, getting things for him that I know he wants but hasn't gotten up to get himself, etc, just doing nice things to be helpful.

                              Anyhow, the animosity and spitefulness and resentment (whatever is causing it - most likely this sex issue) need to go or our marriage is not going to make it.
                              Last edited by jenn26point2; 09-05-2012, 02:09 PM.
                              Primal since March 5, 2012
                              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                              • Ok... I feel better today after venting so much yesterday. It feels nice. I am going to stop the birth control. My next scheduled injection is the 23rd (it's a Sunday and the clinic is closed?? so it probably would have occurred on the 21st instead) and I'll just not go. From what I'm reading on the paleo facebook pages (what a wealth of info there!!) is that it could take a couple of months or a couple of years for my hormones to self-regulate, but chances are they'll be regulated to a pretty fair degree once I get my first period. Once my cycles start again, I should be able to tell a difference in how I feel b/c come day 14 or so, the testosterone should surge (Primal desires to get pregnant, anyone??). It happened quickly when I stopped using birth control pills, but this is a bit stronger than that given it has to last 3 months as opposed to one day per pill. Anyhow, that is going to happen. I haven't told him how long it could theoretically take to fix me, but I will... I gotta do more research to see what the average time for recovery is.

                                My tummy feels legitimately hungry today... but I have no almonds to tide me over. maybe it's just a desire to eat masquerading as hunger....

                                I have a sick baby girl at home today with her daddy. She was vomiting for some reason or another over night and into this morning. Poor girl. So, I'm leaving work at noon so I can be home by 1 so Brad can go to work. I have to skip class tonight b/c I don't want to stick a puking baby with my stepmom. Plus, I'd have to arrange for someone else to watch her for about a half hour or so after I leave for class until my stepmom can be there, which just sounds like a lot of work when there's really no reason I can't skip class. I don't like the idea of skipping class, but I've gotta do what I've gotta do to care for my family. Besides, Baby Girl would probably rather be with Mommy than grandma when she's sick, and quite honestly, I'd rather be there with her when she's sick. Here's a pic of her crashed out on our bed. Poor sleeping Bearz...

                                Sick Bearz.jpg

                                And to end the post... how bout them Cowboys!! What a great game last night. Love it when my Boys can prove themselves. Romo still has some passing issues, Witten is still injured, but played anyway, but Ogletree I think is going to be a star this season! I can't wait to see the next game. GO COWBOYS!!
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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