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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
    I'm confused. Which one is their own grandpa?

    Hey, this isn't Arkansas!! It's Iowa... we have higher standards than that.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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    • I'll let you what's going on with our Iowa trip when it gets sooner. Our plans aside from the wedding on a Thursday will mostly be played by ear.
      Depression Lies

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      • That moment you no longer have to tell someone you don't want to be in their wedding b/c they've taken it upon themself to invent a cousin they forgot to invite = priceless. But now I'm struggling with a quipy response that says "that's fine b/c I no longer wanted to be in your wedding anyway, but your method of delivery is a bit cowardly..." She sent the message via text and FB messenger (probably so she can monitor when I've seen it - which is also the message in which she said she was the maid of honor in this cousin's wedding... how do you forget someone so special that you were her maid of honor???) instead of putting on her big girl panties and calling...

        Brad is still in the wedding and he still cares about his relationship with the groom (I care about his relationship with the groom too b/c the groom is a pretty awesome guy and has been hanging out with us for a long time and I adore his parents whom we camp with). The bride, however... I wouldn't be heartbroken if she moved away and I never saw or spoke to her again. We haven't had much of a relationship for quite some time and I'm pretty sure she only asked me to be in the wedding party b/c her groom is a guy and pretty clueless about body language and apparently wasn't aware of the strife between the bride and I, and asked her right in front of me if she was going to ask me when he told me they were getting married (she hadn't even told me... he brought it up in conversation and I was like "Oh! Congratulations! I didn't know").

        I also found it quite problematic that the wedding was moved to July 4th... really? Who gets married on a federal holiday?? So that was going to pose the problem of finding a sitter who would sit with the kids ALL DAY LONG during the wedding prep and all night long during the reception... on a federal holiday... yeah... right.

        So this is what I want to put on facebook or MFP or something, but I'm sure Brad would frown on it: "That moment you realize you don't have to tell someone something you dread telling them (b/c confrontation!) b/c they've done the dirty work for you? Priceless... but to have them do it via text message? Hmmm... there's a word for that too..."

        Brad wants me to just tell her "yeah, that's cool" but it's NOT cool. At least have the gall to tell someone the truth instead of making some crazy shit up. And at least be man enough to call and ask me rather than send it via text message. Man... what a wimp!

        Anyway, b/c I respect the groom I won't say anything like what I've put up above, but I would like to say something a little off-handed b/c I feel she is deserving... I know we have some snarky people here... what say you?

        PS - this is the gal who used to be my friend until someone else came along - then we became acquaintances... so you're familiar with her.
        Primal since March 5, 2012
        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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        • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
          I'll let you what's going on with our Iowa trip when it gets sooner. Our plans aside from the wedding on a Thursday will mostly be played by ear.
          What weekend are you coming?
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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          • Wow Jenn, if I were you, I would just text back "fantastic!! see you at the wedding!" - and let her come to her own conclusions... hee hee!



            julia

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            • lmao

              You just gave me an idea. I'll respond with "That's perfect! Thanks!"

              Hahahaha Thank you so much!!
              Last edited by jenn26point2; 09-08-2014, 01:53 PM.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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              • HA!

                That's even better.

                Love always,

                Passive Aggressive Patty

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                • Tsk tsk, I dislike passive aggressive behavior so I'll keep my mouth shut . Hulky has been a good/bad influence on me calling people out on their bullshit.

                  We'll be in Iowa Oct 8-12.
                  Depression Lies

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                  • I think there's a time and a place for both.

                    I wouldn't touch Jenn's situation with a ten foot pole by "calling someone out on their bullshit" and then
                    have to suffer through the wedding with the elephant in the room.

                    I save my bullshit arguments for people that are f**king worth it.
                    Last edited by InSearchOfAbs; 09-09-2014, 08:01 AM. Reason: added some asterisks...ha ha

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                    • There'll still be an elephant in the room regardless, but Brad has asked me to just let it go. He says she's not worth the irritation and his relationship with the groom is still in tact and we'd like to keep it that way. If I blow my gasket on the bride, the groom's opinion of me will change and that'll effect his relationship with Brad. The groom really is quite clueless. Chances are, the bride never told him that he asked me to step down and I'm 99% certain she and I will never talk again, except out of necessity. She never responded to my message, which I knew she wouldn't. She doesn't give a shit about my feelings enough to care beyond the fact that I didn't blow up on her. She's glad I responded the way I did b/c now she can sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen. I answered the way I did to make her wonder... does Perfect mean I am glad I'm out? Or was Perfect a snarky disappointed response? She'll never know b/c I know she'll never ask. She said she'd still like me to help out in her original message. I'm looking forward to the day when she asks for something. The answer will be a loud, thunderous, resounding "not on your life". This request was just the thing I needed to cut ties with her.

                      Brad's not afraid to call someone out on their bullshit, and if the groom ever asks about what happened, Brad will likely flip. He's been bubbling for quite some time over the way he perceives I'm treated by the bride. Something was said once about us not attending something that Bride and Groom did with BIL and SIL, and Brad responded with "we weren't f*cking invited". Groom wasn't aware that we weren't invited, so for a while after that we got invited to everything but now the invites are no longer coming again. It's quite obvious to us who does the planning and inviting in that household. And that's fine by me. I like groom, but not I'm not so attached to him that he makes it worth being around her.

                      I'm just... I'm done with her. I tried to be friends with her and it worked when it was convenient for her. I deserve better friends than that, so I'm washing my hands. This wedding was the last tie and now it's cut, so I feel like I'm free. Still not sure if I'm going to attend the wedding b/c childcare will be hard. Plus, I'll be sitting by myself (b/c I will not sit with MIL unless I absolutely have to) during the ceremony and during the reception while Brad is playing groomsman. Groom's parents will be busy with wedding things. If Brad asks me to attend as his date, I will try to find a way to make it work... but if he says I don't have to attend, I'll be watching fireworks with my kiddos at my mom's house, just like we do every year. I would like the opportunity to dress up all schnazzy-like with my hubby and dance the night away, though.
                      Last edited by jenn26point2; 09-09-2014, 08:38 AM.
                      Primal since March 5, 2012
                      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by InSearchOfAbs View Post
                        Wow Jenn, if I were you, I would just text back "fantastic!! see you at the wedding!" - and let her come to her own conclusions... hee hee!



                        julia
                        this is perfect
                        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                        2. Eat to heal
                        3. Move to live
                        4. Embrace today
                        5. Live with intention
                        6. Respect my body
                        7. Cultivate joy
                        8. Find my passion
                        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                        Comment


                        • I think you're smart to let this "friendship" fall to the wayside. Doesn't sound like anyone I would want to be friends with. I'd say the fireworks at home is the better option - if Brad is okay with that.
                          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                          2. Eat to heal
                          3. Move to live
                          4. Embrace today
                          5. Live with intention
                          6. Respect my body
                          7. Cultivate joy
                          8. Find my passion
                          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                          Comment


                          • So the bride sent a group text to me and Brad... apparently she was offended by my response...

                            She said that she's sorry if she hurt our feelings but family comes first. She said that she's felt we don't like her since a specific point during the racing season. She mentioned that she's sorry she and SIL are better friends but something people just click and that when she tries to engage me, I'm short with her. And that she hopes we can get past this for the sake of Brad and Groom's friendship. It was longer than that, but that's the gist of it.

                            Here is my response:

                            I never said I was hurt. I tried to be your friend but you and SIL seemed to be better friends and when together I always felt like a 3rd wheel and that I don't fit so I stopped trying. It wasn't worth the struggle or the stress to me, so I stopped. Truth be told, i was working up the courage to talk to you about the wedding anyway. Knowing how I feel when just the three of us are together, I couldn't see how I could honestly be a bridesmaid with even more closer-to-you people present. I feel we are more acquaintances than friends and standing in your wedding would be fraudulous. I was relieved when you sent me your text because then I dind't have to have that conversation with you. I don't dislike you. I have actually felt for a long time that you don't like me and simply put up with me - I've felt that way since the first time all three families went camping together. And I don't see the point in working so hard to be something someone likes. Either you like me or you don't. It's no skin off my back. Brad and I have had lengthy conversations about yours and my relationship and how it really doesn't exist. I'm good with your request.

                            I followed up with "but yes, that night at the races sealed the deal to me that we aren't really friends". I won't go into details, but it was evident that making me feel comfortable or valued was not in her best interest. It was at that moment that I dropped the friendship and walked away.
                            Last edited by jenn26point2; 09-09-2014, 11:41 AM.
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                            Comment


                            • Sounds like a reasonable and adult response. Hopefully she takes it as such and gets over herself.

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                              • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                                Sounds like a reasonable and adult response. Hopefully she takes it as such and gets over herself.
                                Awwww, that's cute; canio still thinks women can take responses like that rationally and not internalize them and freak out.

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