Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I'm at work today, simultaneously prepping for vacation. Brad took the day off and is knocking out some necessary tasks - like filling the fuel tanks for the camper so we have hot water this week to do dishes and such with (we use the shower house for showers b/c it's just easier), changing the power plug b/c the one we had got a little hot with the last camping trip and the rubber melted a bit (either the outlet was too hot - pushing too much current - or our air conditioner was drawing too much amperage). Talked to the neighbor about keeping an eye on the house and maybe parking a car in our driveway once or twice to deter would-be snoops and thieves. Brad will also be mowing the lawn this week. I have to buy a bike yet - probably do that on Saturday - and find a retractable or pop-up clothes line dealio so I can dry towels after showers. I saw a cool bumper mounted one in the camper dealer's catalog but of course they don't keep them in stock. So I'll probably get one of those fold up clothes dryers from walmart or something. We also need to pull the awning out and pressure wash it. There was a series of rainstorms that came through a few weeks ago and last time we pulled the awning out we saw some mold/mildew or whatever growing on the awning. Need to blow that off. I have to get the groceries for the week and stock the fridge with yummies. Oh and we're going to finally get bedding for the camper. I think I may have come up with a way to get flat sheets to work for the bunk mattresses - it'll work until I can get my mom to doctor them by putting elastic around them for me. Sheet corner bungee things are what I'm thinking. I'll wrap the sheet around the mattress and secure the edges with the bungee deals. Supposedly our local walmart has them. I'll put them on the long edges and then secure one on the short edge to the elastic holding the long edges... not sure if that makes sense to anyone or not... essentially, I'll have 4 elastic straps on the sheets - forming two T's. we'll see if it works or not. I'll get a set for our mattress too b/c I've heard a rumor that standard queen sheets don't fit well. I wish my Thirty-One bags would be in already so I could use them for packing. They won't be here til next week though.

    Just a bunch of little things to knock out. I think we're going Sunday thru Thursday now instead of Monday thru Friday. Since we're going farther away, we thought it best to come home Thursday so Brad doesn't have to rush on Friday (racing Friday night). And the zoo we wanted to take the kids to is only 45 minutes from the campground, so we'll go a day early, hit the zoo while we're out there, and come home a day early. We're very optimistic about this trip. I think it'll be fun.

    Anyhow, next task... surviving the work day! UGH! I'm so ready to go home and get ready!!
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



    Comment


    • where did you go??? you haven't posted in a long time. Are you still on vacation?
      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
      2. Eat to heal
      3. Move to live
      4. Embrace today
      5. Live with intention
      6. Respect my body
      7. Cultivate joy
      8. Find my passion
      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

      Comment


      • No, I'm here. Just didn't have much to say so I didn't worry about my journal. Busy reading back through everyone else's journals and getting caught back up at work instead.
        Primal since March 5, 2012
        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



        Comment


        • My intestines hurt today.

          Doing some soul searching so not posting much. Need to figure out what I want and how I want to tackle it.
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



          Comment


          • *hugs* Good luck.
            Depression Lies

            Comment


            • well, you know you can hash it out here.
              1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
              2. Eat to heal
              3. Move to live
              4. Embrace today
              5. Live with intention
              6. Respect my body
              7. Cultivate joy
              8. Find my passion
              9. Meditate on peace in my soul

              Comment


              • 1000 mg of magnesium in yesterday day seems to have helped the intestinal pain, for the most part.
                Primal since March 5, 2012
                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                Comment


                • As with most everyone here, I want to lose weight, get my eating under control, get healthier, avoid cancer, diabetes, alzheimers, etc, etc, etc. Some people can just act on those desires and make them happen. I, however, need a systematic PLAN to make it work. This is why Whole30 works so well for me - my brain works well with structure and finite details. I have to have a plan for everything - I can't just wing it. Even on vacation, I had a plan for every day - what we would do that day, where we would go, etc. That's why the Flylady plan works for me (with some tweaking for relevance).

                  I've been really strugging recently and I think it's b/c I don't have a goal and a structured system for reaching that goal. When I was marathon training, I had a training plan that would get me from 0 miles to 26.2 miles over a given period of time. I had an eating plan that would prevent injuries and allow for me to accomplish said training. When I was strengthening last year, I had a specific plan that allowed me to achieve and progress. All that was required of me was discipline and determination. The rest of it was laid out and simple.

                  I lack all of that now and I think that's why I'm failing to make any progress. So, I've been brainstorming what I want my goals to be and how I think I can best accomplish them. All that's left now is to formulate the plan and get to it. What I want to do is simple:

                  Lose 20+ lbs to get back to 166
                  Perform a 200 lb deadlift
                  Perform a 100 lb bench press
                  Perform a 150 lb squat
                  Achieve a size 10 jeans

                  Those are all measurable goals. The goal I have that's NOT measurable is a bit trickier to define and gauge. I want to feel better mentally again. I want peace from ADD, anxiety and depression. Is that possible? I'd like to think so. But I can't define or measure success in that arena. So that one will be tough.

                  Anyhow, how I plan to approach those goals? The same way I did it last year. Whole30's, weight training, determination, and discipline. Right now, thanks to the sugar demon, I'm lacking a significant bit of willpower and determination, so I'll be embarking on a 21 Day Sugar Detox on Sunday or Monday - not sure which yet. Ah, technically, I need to start tomorrow to hit 21 days, so maybe I'll do that. My end point will be Brad's birthday on the 8th. But then again, I could push past his birthday if MIL doesn't have his birthday celebration until the following Sunday or something. No, wait. We have a function with his employer on the 9th that will include free Schwann's ice cream and non-21-Day detox approved foods, so maybe I will start tomorrow and make my last full day the 7th. It's pretty hard to pass up free Schwann's ice cream. Of course, I'm sure there won't be a bit of it that's gluten free, so I may re-evaluate that plan when the time comes.

                  So, my plan:

                  21-Day Sugar Detox, followed by a tiny 80/20 Primal break, followed by a series of Whole30's. Walking for a while, followed by some strength training (I need to get consistent with using my lunch for fitness again), adequate sleep <-- this is a big one.

                  Yesterday, Mark had Primal Connection marked down to 99c on Amazon (Kindle version) so I snagged a copy. I'll read that and get some inspiration.

                  I fully plan to be back to 166 by Thanksgiving.
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                  Comment


                  • It's not perfect, but you can track your mental state in some respects. I keep a "Brain" section in some of my journal posts to reflect on my overall moods and feelings of "functionality" in my head. It doesn't have to be a perfect scale, but you could also use a 1-10 rating system for anxiety, depression, focus etc.
                    Depression Lies

                    Comment


                    • In terms of mental capacity and measurable goals, I have a couple ideas I've used.
                      -ADHD: be able to fully use the pomodoro method at work and stretch the time longer if need be.
                      -Depression: A full week/ 2 weeks/ whatever of "good days," however you define that.
                      -Anxiety: be able to handle a certain trigger at least without succumbing to the anxiety, but rather acknowledging and "working into" the anxiety. In my case, it was a large, loud crowd at least 4 times in one month.
                      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                      My Latest Journal

                      Comment


                      • Naiad, that's a pretty good way to do it - by achieving certain goals that trigger the conditions. Good idea.

                        For me, it's not the large crowd where I can assimilate that bothers me - it's the smaller crowd that I'm expected to participate in that bothers me. If I can blend in unnoticed, I'm good.

                        I have been so easily distracted recently. My house is a mess again. My checkbook is unbalanced (balance is still ok, so I don't need to stress right now, but tomorrow is payday so I'm sure there'll be plenty of stress when I force myself to balance it tonight). Laundry is mostly folded, but has been on the table for two weeks. I went out to check the produce in my garden before dinner the other night and instead of looking and going in the house to cook, I weeded for 45 minutes - so dinner was late. And I have to keep notes on my desk to remember to do crap. ROUTINE crap. It's ridiculous.
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                        Comment


                        • Job front: I still haven't heard back from the office hiring the budget analyst. The automated system hasn't told me that I sucked too bad to get the job either, so maybe they haven't decided who to hire yet. I sent an email to the interviewer to see if she can give an update. My fingers are crossed that it's still awaiting a decision and that I'm still on the list. I know not to hold my breath around here, so I'm also applying for an HR job. I spoke with an HR gal who says I do a lot of the duties now thanks to the Temp Pro I took, so I'm updating my resume to reflect those tasks and putting in for the job today. It's a 5/7 lead 11 job - meaning it's entry level with promotion potential to the GS-11 level, non-supervisory. The budget position I put in for was a 9 lead 11. I put in for a job with the contracting office (contract writing) and didn't even get looked at. I was baffled why a master's degree in business wouldn't be considered for an entry level position, especially with a 10-point veteran's preference and was told that SOOOOO many people applied that I didn't make the list. Veterans with 10-point preference go to the top of the list, and they were taking 100 applicants for one position (um, overkill??). Holy moly. It sucks to know I didn't make the list, despite being more than qualified for the job.

                          Oops... ran out of time to finish this post. Gotta leave for the day. I hope everyone's having a good day.
                          Primal since March 5, 2012
                          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                          Comment


                          • Hulky found a job posting on USA Jobs for something to do with NASA. No details about the position, it just said for 10-point preference vets, so he applied . I had an uncle who worked for NASA (helped with the Cassini mission to Saturn), I got to see some of the facilities down in FL as a result. The job spot that Hulky applied for is probably security or something, but hey, it's still NASA! I thought it was pretty cool.
                            Depression Lies

                            Comment


                            • At least you understand what you need to be working towards your goals. Now you just have to find the way to get started. I have faith in you! You always rock a whole30!
                              1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                              2. Eat to heal
                              3. Move to live
                              4. Embrace today
                              5. Live with intention
                              6. Respect my body
                              7. Cultivate joy
                              8. Find my passion
                              9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                              Comment


                              • I emailed the interviewer. She responded this morning indicating that the fill is still in progress and that something should be coming out later this week. She was very secretive in her message, which I expected.

                                Tasha, good luck on the NASA gig. If he gets it, you should have no issue finding a job. IT is always contracted out.

                                Day 1. Today, I've decided to be 100% primal. I can't say I'm 21DSD b/c I'm having leftover basmati rice for lunch. I can't say I'm Whole30 b/c rice, but also dairy. Lots of high fat dairy today. I guess PHD would be possible, if I get the 1 lb of starches. But a 1 lb of starches is hard for me to do everyday - some days we just don't eat potatoes or rice, and if we don't, then that means lunch the next day will be starch free as well.

                                I hit the scale yesterday... holy crap, how depressing. I'm back up to 200 lbs. 200 f*cking pounds. How quickly it comes back on! So, now my goal is 34 lbs by Thanksgiving... It should be ok and easy enough to do - it's less than 2 lbs per week, well within the "best known practices" rules. Just have to keep my eye on the prize. I suspect about 10 of it is water weight... I'm hoping that getting rid of the gluten and sugar, I'll drop a good chunk this week. I'm considering waiting until after the weekend to weigh, but I suspect I'll forget b/c I haven't been using the scale for a while (hence my shock at 200 lbs) so I'm out of the habit.

                                I'm talking to a friend who's pregnant with her 6th child. Her boyfriend (fiance, whatever) is the sole bacon winner in the house (obviously b/c childcare would eat up her entire paycheck) and I guess he doesn't budget well, so they're losing the house they were renting. She and her boys (5 of them) are moving back in with her mom and dad and he's moving in with his dad. She says he's going to save up for their next place, but she's doubtful it'll happen. Talking with her has me wanting to sell our house and move out of town. I'd love to move back to Moscow... there was no city government so we were pretty much allowed to do whatever (have chickens and other such animals in town - within county ordinance, that is), it was really quiet (Wilton is quiet too, but there was a peacefulness that came with our old house that I miss). I think I just really miss our old house. I've already told Brad that if we build again, it'll have the exact same layout as the last house. lol Maybe what I really miss is the five mature maple trees that shaded it nicely, and the gravel roads that made it feel like a rural home. Idk... I just miss living there. Thankfully we sold it to friends so we can visit when we want. The more I think about it, the more I think I just miss the tranquil feeling of the location. It felt nice to live there - and I think it was the trees. lol

                                Anyhow... always longing for what we don't have, right? Someday I'll have a nice house in the country with lots of trees surrounding it. It'll have the same feeling except I'll hear the covers on hog waterers clattering, cows bellering, and roosters crowing. See, now I'm longing for other things. lol Daydreaming - it's what I do best.

                                First step to making that daydream come true is to get out of debt... then we can afford all of what we want. Brad's lump sum raise comes next week. It's very nice sized. It'll pay off one debt for sure, then give us both $250 to spend, plus pay off the race car parts bill. The bill pay-off portion is large enough to pay off one of two debts, but I think I'll apply it to the one with the larger interest rate, even though the other has a larger payment. I think I'll pay off the higher interest debt first and then use Thirty-One to pay off the smaller interest debt.

                                And if I get offered this job... glorious things can happen with our debt! My fingers are crossed so hard they hurt! I really really really really really want this job.

                                ANYHOW... this post went far from where I expected it to go. Let me get my thoughts back in order and I'll come back and post what I had intended to post...
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X