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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • Something is going on and I don't know what it is and it's bothering me b/c it's bothering Brad. His mom sent him a text indicating she'd be going to the pits during the races all summer long and so he'd need to figure out how to get the kids to the track. The plan was that she would bring them to the track and I would meet her there. Brad's kind of pissed about it b/c she and SIL said they'd help with the kids until I got there if we went to this particular track. If she's not going to the stands, he has to wait for me at the pit gate to collect the kids before he can go in and get to work getting everything set up for racing. Which means I will have to be punctual and will not be able to run any errands or make any stops between work and the track.

    Last weekend, she and SIL brought the kids. I hung out at work for a while past the end of my duty day b/c I get off at 4:30 and they wouldn't be to the track until about 5:30... it didn't make any sense to leave at 4:30 and sit around at the track when I could sit around at work... where there's internet, etc... so I hung out at work until 5, swung by the grocery store and picked up dinner for me and the kids (cheaper than buying track food - and healthier). Then I stood in line for a half hour waiting to get my ticket and get into the track. While I was in line, SIL texted me and asked if I was going to be getting there soon b/c Brady was whining that he was hungry. I told her I was in line waiting to pay for my ticket. I finally got into the stands between 6:00-6:15... I wonder if that's why she's being like this... b/c I got there so late...

    She's been really weird about our kids since she started babysitting them - like she doesn't want them around, which pisses me right the hell off. The kids adore her and she acts like she doesn't want anything to do with them... Damn it! If only Makenna wouldn't need a ride to school every day. I'd pull them both out of her daycare in an effort to get things back to the way they used to be. The kids used to be welcomed - she used to call and ask for them to come over and would take them places. Now she acts like she doesn't want anything to do with them. I was worried this would happen. When she was working at the school and hating every second of it, we used to say "you should just quit and watch our kids everyday" (this came from both Brad and me and SIL/BIL as a kind of joke b/c we didn't think she'd ever quit the school). She said no b/c she wanted to be a grandma not a disciplinarian. Understand totally... but then she went and did exactly what she said she didn't want to do.

    I'm just so frustrated with everything related to our relationship. Things are so strained and I don't know who has done the changing - me or her... and I don't know how to fix it.

    Damn it... I really want to pull the kids from that daycare, but would that even make a difference?

    I can't help but feel that all of this is my fault somehow...
    Last edited by jenn26point2; 04-16-2014, 08:14 AM.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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    • On a positive note, I am now officially a Thirty-One consultant. I have my website up and running and will receive my starter kit within a week. This is so nerve-wracking... Exciting, but nerve-wracking.
      Primal since March 5, 2012
      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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      • I've got nothing on the MIL/SIL situation =\. I can't see any reason why this could be your fault though! It sounds like the best thing for you would be to find some way to get the kids out of her daycare, though I realize there are some obstacles there.

        Yay! More income coming your way soon enough . The girl whose bridal shower I didn't go to is becoming an Athena home novelties goddess (that sex toy thing). I don't know nearly enough people to throw a party, but I will definitely go to hers!
        Depression Lies

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        • Grrrr. at MIL and SIL
          Primal since 9/24/2010
          "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
          MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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          • I am off work tomorrow b/c SIL has her first prenatal appointment. The daycare is 100% closed. MIL is 'busy'. I assume she's going to SIL's appointment with her... so I am forced to take the day off work. I do not get Friday off b/c I work for the government and they don't recognize religious holidays (except Christmas). So, I scheduled off. Brad asked me if I would have a problem with him taking the day off too. We'll be knocking out some household things - fixing the leaking seals between then toilet tank and the stool - toilet is almost continually running, running some donation items to the battered women's shelter, etc. We will also have to get groceries too b/c our weekend is just too packed to be able to do it then. We'll have the Bearz with us after 10:30. Should be a good day.
            Primal since March 5, 2012
            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



            Comment


            • Sorry about MIL/SIL stuff. My best advice is do what you have to to get the kids in the different daycare.

              Maybe after watching kids all day at the daycare - MIL is just spent and doesn't have the mental or physical energy needed to watch them for another hour while waiting for you to get to the track?? Same could be true for why she isn't wanting to see/have them evenings and weekends anymore??? Maybe its as simple as kiddy-burnout! But, if that's the case - she should be honest and tell you instead of making other reasons (going to be in the pit). Maybe when she's not at the daycare she needs to rely on the pot to control the fibro crap....... and doesn't want to have the kids in tow when doing that??

              I doubt you are at fault in any way.
              1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
              2. Eat to heal
              3. Move to live
              4. Embrace today
              5. Live with intention
              6. Respect my body
              7. Cultivate joy
              8. Find my passion
              9. Meditate on peace in my soul

              Comment


              • Hmmm... seems I am.

                This is what she sent Brad (including the typos).

                I think fri. Night was a preview of how the season is going t ogo jenn didnt get to the stands till 6:45 bradys crying because its taking so long for her to get there food there he didnt want my snacks .didnt say word one to us when she got there got on her phone and pretty much ignored the kids teh rest of the night . Sorry i cant watch it go on anymore

                My response to Brad, via email b/c that was too much to type on the phone:

                In response to your mom's text...

                YOU know what time I got there b/c we talked. I left work at 5 pm. I didn't leave at 4:30 b/c I didn't see the point in leaving an hour before you guys would even get to Dport. I left at 5. I stopped at hyvee, got the kids food. Your mom was WELL AWARE that I was going to stop. It took longer to get through HyVee b/c there was only 2 lines open and a lot of people buying things. I then left and stopped at an ATM to get cash. The ATM wanted to charge $3 for the transaction so I went back to HyVee to get cash. Yes, I should have done it while I was there the first time... my bad. I got to the track and talked to you. Then Anna and I stood in line for EASILY 20 minutes waiting to pay our admission. They had one girl taking money instead of utilizing all three girls behind the counter so it took forever. Amanda texted me while I was in line and I told her where I was.

                I said hi when I got there. So sorry she didn't hear me.

                I did NOT ignore the kids and I'm quite offended by that comment.

                Yes, I was on the phone. I was talking to Jen about Sunday. Then Teresa started texting me. Then Jen sent me a note telling me the inclement weather policy was posted, so I checked my email.

                No, I wasn't chatty. I didn't have anything to talk about... I was kind of in a bad headspace worrying about Sunday... did she ever stop to think that maybe I was having a less than stellar day? She should know a thing or two about bad mental health days... Sorry I wasn't bubbly and cheerful and yacking her ear off. If she's going to judge an entire summer by one day, so
                be it. But when I'm worried about something or overwhelmed by something or stressed even the slightest, I turn into myself and become distant and reserved. I'm quite surprised she hasn't realized that by now.

                So whatever... sorry I'm not super mom. Maybe I talked to Jen longer than she thought I should... but I did NOT ignore our kids. And I got to the track as soon as I could... had I known it would take so long to get food and get through the line at both HyVee and the track, I would have left at 4:30. I'm so sorry my lapse in judgment didn't meet her approval.

                I'm sorry to shoot the messenger, but this is bullshit.

                I love you.


                ***

                I'm sure Brad will side with his mom. He always does.
                Primal since March 5, 2012
                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                Comment


                • oh dear............ sorry Jenn. With this kind of bad blood between you - might be good to make a little distance all the way around. That or just try to have a sit down and discuss with her.
                  1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                  2. Eat to heal
                  3. Move to live
                  4. Embrace today
                  5. Live with intention
                  6. Respect my body
                  7. Cultivate joy
                  8. Find my passion
                  9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                  Comment


                  • I just sent this to Brad... he hasn't responded to my first message yet.

                    Now that I've calmed down a little bit, I want to reiterate that I did not ignore our kids. I kept a close watch on them. Most of the night, they were playing - drawing with Declan, Makenna playing with the purse your mom brought with the necklaces and stuff, playing with the cars and monster trucks. At one point, they tried to play on the stairs and I kept a watch on them to make sure they weren't in the way or going to fall and get hurt. Most of the night, though, they played quietly and did just fine. I collected toys I don't know how many times that night. Makenna even sat on my lap for a good chunk.

                    I'm quite pissed that she said I ignored them, but whatever. I guess everyone's entitled to their own perspective.
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                    Comment


                    • yup... just as I suspected... I'm a bad mom... whatever... I'm out.
                      Primal since March 5, 2012
                      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                      Comment


                      • I'm sorry Jenn, it still really doesn't sound like it's your fault. MIL has a stick up her ass about something and is being childish. You do not strike me as a bad mom
                        Depression Lies

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                        • Well, apparently, I take on too many "just me" activities (running, Thirty-One, blah blah blah) and because of these activities, I can't be a good mom. So I guess we'll just stay broke forever, I'll never build a retirement, I'll get fat and unhealthy again, and give up what little fucking social life I have so that I can fit the bill of a 'great mom'.

                          If you experience radio silence for a while, don't be alarmed. I'm pissed and when I'm pissed, it's best I remain silent.
                          Primal since March 5, 2012
                          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                          Comment


                          • Sorry Jenn.
                            Primal since 9/24/2010
                            "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                            MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
                              i'm sorry jenn, it still really doesn't sound like it's your fault. Mil has a stick up her ass about something and is being childish. You do not strike me as a bad mom
                              +1000000!!! Yes this!
                              1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                              2. Eat to heal
                              3. Move to live
                              4. Embrace today
                              5. Live with intention
                              6. Respect my body
                              7. Cultivate joy
                              8. Find my passion
                              9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                                Well, apparently, I take on too many "just me" activities (running, Thirty-One, blah blah blah) and because of these activities, I can't be a good mom. So I guess we'll just stay broke forever, I'll never build a retirement, I'll get fat and unhealthy again, and give up what little fucking social life I have so that I can fit the bill of a 'great mom'.

                                If you experience radio silence for a while, don't be alarmed. I'm pissed and when I'm pissed, it's best I remain silent.
                                Are these MIL thoughts or Brads??? Cuz if its MIL........... screw her! But if its Brad........ then the two of you need some serious face time to talk about this.
                                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                                2. Eat to heal
                                3. Move to live
                                4. Embrace today
                                5. Live with intention
                                6. Respect my body
                                7. Cultivate joy
                                8. Find my passion
                                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                                Comment

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