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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • ^ ditto
    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
    2. Eat to heal
    3. Move to live
    4. Embrace today
    5. Live with intention
    6. Respect my body
    7. Cultivate joy
    8. Find my passion
    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

    Comment


    • The run went well enough. It was hard. No doubt, but I finished it. I'm not sure how I'll fare doing 26 miles. 20 was really freaking hard physically. I was in it mentally, but physically my body was protesting hard. I took an ice bath at my mom's (she had my kids while I ran) and that helped a LOT. Today, I am pain free. Moving around just fine. No stiffness or soreness to speak of. Tomorrow may be a different story.

      However I am seriously blue today. I asked around on Facebook and it appears feeling depressed and blue the next day after that long and challenging of a run is common. Because of that alone, I may not run more than one marathon. We will see.

      Got my Garmin Vivo and upon initial glance, it's pretty cool. Does the same thing as Fitbit Flex and Force. The sleep monitoring output data sucks. It just shows movement, not wakeful or restless periods vs deeper sleep like Fitbit and BodyMedia did. And it doesn't talk to Pact (which I knew) but now is really a negative. I actually kind of miss my fitbit and am considering returning the Vivo. I will give it a few more days before I make any determinations b/c it could be this depressed mood I'm experiencing doing the decision making there - but I do really want it to talk to Pact... like really really badly - that's almost the deal breaker. Garmin or not... If I can't return it, I'll sell it on eBay.
      Primal since March 5, 2012
      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



      Comment


      • congrats on making it the entire 20 miles! That's freakin' LONG!
        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
        2. Eat to heal
        3. Move to live
        4. Embrace today
        5. Live with intention
        6. Respect my body
        7. Cultivate joy
        8. Find my passion
        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

        Comment


        • Congratulations. It makes sense that you might feel a little down after such an effort. I wonder if it is just a female thing or if male runners experience the same things.
          Primal since 9/24/2010
          "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
          MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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          • Congrats on finishing!! 20 miles? Yay you!!!! I am seriously impressed! Amazing! You expended a lot of energy this weekend. Maybe you're coming down off an endorphin high?
            Goal: Don't worry be happy!

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            • I had a male friend on MFP say that it's called "post partum run depression" - at least that's what he calls it. I'm going to google depression after running and see if it's actually a thing.

              I made the decision to return the Vivo and buy a new Fitbit Flex. Here are my complains with the Vivo vs the Flex.

              The Flex looks at the WHOLE picture - food, activity, sleep, steps, etc.
              Vivo looks at steps and activity.

              The Flex syncs with MyFitnessPal and Pact (kind of important since missing a workout will cost me money)
              Vivo syncs with only Garmin Connect.

              The Vivo records sleep, but only if you tell it too, and it only monitors the movement you make while sleeping, not whether you were awake, restless or asleep like Flex does.

              The Vivo has a clock and date feature, which is set by the World Clock, so there's no setting the time, adjusting the time, etc, BUT given the activities that I perform, this is not enough - I need my Timex Ironman with the stopwatch and timer (I need a timer when I do planks and I need a stopwatch when I run without my phone or Garmin).

              So, I contacted RoadRunnerSports today and they have submitted a request for return. I'll mail it back to them hopefully by this weekend. The post office is closed yet when I leave for work and closed again when I get home. Maybe I can get Brad to drop it off. In the meantime, I asked them to send me a Flex. Hopefully that's here in a few days - they say 3, but given it weighs as much as the Vivo, I suspect it'll be closer to Saturday like the Vivo.

              ***

              In other news, I'm considering becoming a ThirtyOne Gifts consultant. They sell awesome bags. I love them. My sister-in-law invited me to a Lia Sophia party and the gal who did the presentation said that she does 3 parties a week, roughly, and brings in $30,000 in a year. This is her employment. She said each party takes 4 hours, between the presentation, selling, processing the sales, packing the sales for delivery, and sending the invites and what not. 4 hours per party... hmmm... that's a pretty good return. 12 hours a week and she brings in $30,000?? For a $100 investment?

              But, I don't wear jewelry. Like ever. My wedding ring and watch and Flex are as far as I go in the jewelery department, so I got to thinking about things that I'd REALLY like to buy - scrapbooking supplies and bags came to mind. So, I'm talking to a gal about how to get started. Again, it's a $100 investment for the starter kit. After $1,200 in sales, I get a $300 commission, some credits toward additional items for my display kit, and a bunch of other stuff.

              I'm doing this b/c I want to help get us out of debt faster. Brad can work overtime, I can't. But, I can get a second part time job that doesn't require me to be away from home all the time. And I can set my own schedule. So, these are my thoughts. I don't have $100 yet and I haven't talked to Brad, so I'm not sold on it yet - just exploring the option.

              It's my hope that I can make enough to hurry up our debt payoff and maybe save up some money to take a family vacation. I'm just tired of being broke all the gawd damned time. So freaking tired of it. I'm so effing tired of worrying about money. I want these damned credit cards paid off like NOW. It makes my blood boil thinking about it, so it's time to do something more about it. I don't expect to get rich selling 31 bags... I just want to pad our income a little bit so we can get to a better position. I don't think that's unrealistic.

              ***

              In other news, today is Whole30 Day 13.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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              • Congrats on the 20 miler! Yup... thats is a long, physically demanding feat of endurance... good job for sticking with it...

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                • Made an appointment to see Dr. Lake today. Left heel is unhappy. I want to say it's nerve related (that heel always has some kind of issue) but this feels different than usual. I really hope it's not tendonitis. I'll let her work on it and tell me what it is... I'm hoping I can run tomorrow. Today is a strength day.

                  We have a gentleman at work who's daughter died this weekend. It sounds like it was suicide. I can't even imagine his pain. As the timekeeper, I get to do all the paperwork for his extended leave and submit his timecard each week til he returns. I can't say I'd ever be able to return to work if it were me. I imagine I'd be a lump on the bed til the end of my own life. My heart goes out to him.

                  Gut is gurgly today. Realized I haven't taken PA for a while, so I swallowed down two right away. I hope this isn't something I'm going to have to take forever... it's too expensive to take forever.
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                  • Ugh... I just want to cry for Brady. He is struggling so much to stay on task at school. He has to be constantly doing something. Yesterday, his teacher contacted me to describe the bad day he was having. I guess he repeatedly did things he was being told not to do, he pinched another child in the hallway after recess (presumably b/c said child wasn't wearing green on St. Patrick's Day), and did poorly on his spelling test when we all know he knows the words (he did great on the homework assignments). Today, another teacher emailed me to explain some behaviors Brady was exhibiting - fiddling with his pencil, leaning back in his chair, spinning in circles.

                    After conferences with the teacher, Brad and I decided to get him seen by a psychologist and placed on medication if it's warranted. We didn't want to do the medication route, but we want things to be easy for him. Choosing the right foods is hard for US as adults, not to mention a kid. When faced with fruit or cake, he's going to pick cake unless we are there to guide him, and we can't be there to guide him all the time. And then comes the case of the forbidden fruit - if he wants it, and it's forbidden, he'll find a way to eat it anyway. Furthermore, we want him to have a 'normal' childhood. We don't want him stigmatized b/c he eats differently than everyone else, which will happen eventually.

                    Rather, what we'd prefer to do is find him immediate relief - by way of medication - temporarily and as he gets older, show him how certain foods affect his behavior and the way he feels. We'd rather make gradual changes to his diet rather than completely uproot it right now. There are just too many people providing him with food at this point and it's impossible to police it all AND keep Brady on check as well. So, this is what we're going to do for now. We don't intend on it being permanent.

                    Our first appointment with the child psychologist is April 3. Maybe we'll find there's something else going on and it's not ADD, but I suspect it is - which I've read 100 times over is a symptom of something else. I know how I feel every day with all the noise and commotion going on in my head. I can just imagine what it's like for a 7 year old who doesn't know how to ignore it/control it. I've barely begun to scratch the surface when it comes to controling it.
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                    Comment


                    • Poor Brady. Ultimately you have to do what you think is best for your family! Tough decisions. (((Hugs)))
                      Goal: Don't worry be happy!

                      Comment


                      • Things have escalated quickly so we're taking Brady to see a therapist tonight. He had a rough day at school today. All of this is weighing on him to the point of depression. He told MIL tonight that he thinks death would be easier. He said it twice. He's fucking 7 years old!!! Why is he talking like this???

                        The psychiatrist I saw for my VA appointment (who was awesome, btw) is not taking new patients, but one of the therapists said she'd stick around tonight to talk to him. I hope she can help. :'(
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                        Comment


                        • In sending an email to Brady's teacher to make her aware that he's being seen tonight, I remembered that in junior high we had a therapist at the school who's sole purpose was to meet with the students who wanted to talk about things that were bothering them. Mrs. Meyer was her name. She was awesome. She helped me through a break-up my 8th grade year that no one else seemed to think was significant. I had been 'dating' a boy for 10 months (which at that time means we talked on the phone, hung out with parental supervision only a couple of times, and held hands at school - but I felt it was a significant thing). The break-up was abrupt and unexpected. His sister called me to break it off. I later learned that his mom told him that if he broke up with me, she would buy him a moped (lame!!)... I have no idea what I did wrong or why she didn't like me. Maybe I called too much, who knows. What I do know is that I only met her once so there's no way she could develop an opinion of me from that, right? We only kissed one time - after 6 months of "dating". In any event, I had a really rough time with that break-up and sought Mrs. Meyer's help with it. She was so helpful. Eventually, I got over it and moved on, but in the meantime, she was an incredible help allowing me to talk about it.

                          More schools need therapists on their staff - someone the kids see on a daily basis while walking through the halls, who they know is there to help them without judgement, and who they can turn to and talk to in confidence when they need to talk. Teachers are great, but sometimes they're not enough.

                          Mrs. Meyer counseled us through catfights with our girlfriends, break-ups with not-so-serious "serious" relationships, and trouble at home. The world needs more Mrs. Meyers.
                          Primal since March 5, 2012
                          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                          • Oh ye gods! The poor kiddo! Here's hoping they can figure out what it takes!
                            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                            My Latest Journal

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                            • My gut tells me he's just frustrated and discouraged and that he'd never do anything to harm himself - not to mention I don't think he has the means to do so (but we will be scouring the house for options tonight for damn sure), but I know better than to take this as an idle threat and will be reacting to it as if it's real.
                              Primal since March 5, 2012
                              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                              • You may be right. Meds may be the bridge he needs, at least right now. I know there are kids where trying to do it on their own just DOESN'T work. My sister once said that she tried, she honestly did, but she just couldn't concentrate on much of anything.
                                Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                                My Latest Journal

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