Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • No worries on the threadjack.

    My Bearz is sick. Fever, cough, upset tummy that seems to come in waves. She ate a little for dinner. No diarrhea and no vomiting so far. Fearful it's the flu - like the real flu. We didn't get vaccines this year, and there are confirmed cases of Inf A at the kids' school. Fingers crossed that she's better in a day or so, if not sooner.

    Brady also took a nap this evening, which is kind of odd for him. Makes me worry that he's getting sick too.
    Last edited by jenn26point2; 02-12-2014, 07:32 PM.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



    Comment


    • Back when I played WwF, I would occasionally use a "cheat" website. It was only when I had the shittiest hand known to man and zilch to play off. I will say that my best score, on my own, was 108 points with equinox, right off the bat. I ended up cleaning house with the person and beating them with a 200 point margin. Then again, most people I've ever played I beat by an easy 100 point margin. It's exceedingly rare for people to beat me at scrabble and most refuse to play me.
      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
      My Latest Journal

      Comment


      • Jenn I hope your little one is feeling better today! And I sure hope she's not coming down with the flu! Not fun.
        Goal: Don't worry be happy!

        Comment


        • She is feel better today. Thanks, Donna.

          I don't feel so bad for having used the word finders one or three times now that Naiad has fessed up. Same scenario - shitty letters. I find that all consonants is way worse than all vowels. And all consonants early in the game is the worst b/c there's no vowels to build off of at that point. I'm dealing with that right now on a game with an old Army buddy. These are my letters: vwwntrd... There are 3 available vowels, but they're adjacent to other letters so it's really tough to find two real words using these consonants. I have an a adjacent to an a (which is where I will have to play), I have an i adjacent to a c, an a adjacent to a p. and all those consonants. Not a good hand. Not at all. lol Playing the words DRAW/AW. Oops... that's not right. It's DRAW/WA, and apparently WA is not a word... lol Back to the DRAWing board... *sigh* Ok, went with AD/DAWN.

          Still experiencing gut disturbances... No itching to speak of though, so maybe it's the war Tomi was talking about between the good and the bad bacteria. Either way, I'm hoping they clear up soon. They're quite bothersome.

          Weight - still high. I was looking through the pictures on my phone - organizing them into folders, deleting the nonsense pics the kids take, etc - and I ran across pics of me in my bra and underwear when I weighed 166. Damn I was getting skinny! I want the days back where I was so close to needing a size 10... Which has me thinking about what I'll do once this marathon is over. I've thought about heavy lifting again. I really want to do it. I saw the best results in body comp changes when I was lifting heavy... but I rather enjoy running. I'm considering a couple of half marathons in the fall, maybe another full marathon, and then there's a 50k I'd like to do... I probably need to get a calendar out and find out when I'd have to start training for the Ultra (50k). I can always do the halves and the marathon as training runs. Would probably have to start running by mid June? No, July. The 50k is the second week of November. I will just have to get out a calendar and back-plan my training.

          I wish I could find a way to successfully heavy lift and half/marathon train... I just don't have that kind of time to dedicate to the gym/running. It's hard enough just fitting the marathon training in.

          Valentine's Day plans: I'm leaving work at noon to help out at my kids' school. They're having their VDay party today. Then we're taking our wee little valentines to Petco to pick out some more fish for the fishtank. After we get home, we'll have 20 little fishes in our 45 gallon tank. I'm thinking 35 fish will be just about right. Too many to name, but more than enough to lose yourself in a daze watching them swim. Then we're picking up a pizza for Brad and the kids and I'm making whatever at home.

          Happy Valentine's Day to all.
          Last edited by jenn26point2; 02-14-2014, 08:31 AM.
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



          Comment


          • My gut stuff lasted about 2 weeks. Then all gone! I'm doing pretty good. But if I would stay ON TRACK with the food side I would being GREAT!
            1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
            2. Eat to heal
            3. Move to live
            4. Embrace today
            5. Live with intention
            6. Respect my body
            7. Cultivate joy
            8. Find my passion
            9. Meditate on peace in my soul

            Comment


            • 40 degrees today. That means running outside is in order. 3 mile recovery run today to follow the 18 I ran yesterday. Oy. I'm a bit on the sleepy side today, but not sore one single bit, which floors me.

              Not hungry today despite the massive calorie burn yesterday. I had to force breakfast down.

              Slleeeeepppppyyyyyy...

              Donna, I can't find you on WWF.

              Went off plan this weekend. We went to my grandma's 75th birthday celebration, which was catered. My grandpa bought all the food and drinks. The menu was chicken marsala, grilled shrimp and prime rib. The prime rib was seasoned with gluten. The shrimp was sauteed/grilled in butter. The chicken marsala had a cream sauce. The salad had croutons. Everything was tainted. Ordering from the menu was not an option. I didn't even argue the point that some people aren't capable of eating gluten, but since I'm not celiac and I knew I wouldn't die, I just opted to avoid the conflict and ate what was provided. It was really nice of Grandpa to buy us all dinner. Saw the invoice - he spent nearly $1,000 on that dinner party... I also enjoyed a glass of wine.

              Meal plan for now: straight up Paleo/Primal. With marathon training at it's peak, I'm not feeling the Whole30. I'm not losing weight b/c of the marathon training, which is typical - most people gain during training, so I don't see the point of serious restriction like that when things are stressful enough given the training. When I finish the marathon and go back to weight lifting, I will go back to Whole30 and hopefully get back down to 166. Lower would be nice. Right now, I'm hovering at about 183.

              18 miler yesterday went very well. Very very well. I'm actually quite surprised by how easily I'm getting through these crazy ass long runs. Especially given I'm doing them on the treadmill - or maybe that's why... b/c there are people to SEE me fail if I fail, so I keep pushing? Or maybe it's b/c I can watch tv... who knows. I am trying to figure out what I want to do for the 20 miler coming up in two weeks. I can't see what the weather will be like, but I'm considering a run to Muscatine and back. Muscatine is about 10 miles from our house. I'll have to map it to see if it will work. I'd like to go straight out and back rather than have to take a detour to bring the miles up. Dr. Ashley has routes she runs in Muscatine, so maybe one of them will work for me too. I just need to get with her to get her routes. MapMyRun is good for finding routes too.

              Anyway... gonna go get caught up on everyone's journals.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



              Comment


              • I read something recently that says that everyone on earth is riddled with cancerous cells. Whether these cells take off and become a tumor or full blown cancer is determined by our environments (both our natural environments - the air we breathe, water we drink, etc and our internal environments - stress, sleep, etc). The article said that with a healthy immune system that is working simply to beat out pathogens will protect us from the overgrowth of these cancer cells, but a body that is constantly fighting inflammation has a weakened immune system and will be less likely to fend off these invaders.

                I know my body is inflammed. My elbow hurts occasionally. My nerves get trapped periodically. And there are other aches and pains. Part of me sometimes wonders if I've actually got an undiagnosed autoimmune illness that I'm actually keeping at bay thanks to Paleo/Primal and I don't realize it - much like Tomi has her fibromyalgia at bay as long as she's behaving herself dietarily. When I eat off plan, I know it IMMEDIATELY! I ate gluten and sugar and dairy on Saturday (buffet style dinner - glazed carrots (groooooosssss!!!), chicken marsala, etc) and my elbow was sore on Sunday - felt like tendonitis. The quickness of the inflammation made me curious about the whole autoimmune factor... but I know if I heal my gut, I can get rid of all that...

                So, heal the gut, get rid of aches and pains. Get rid of the inflammation that causes those aches and pains, strengthen the immune system...

                I'm considering using immune strength as my reasoning/justification/whatever for eating the best I can. Immune strength to prevent cancer. (which makes me feel uber scared and guilty b/c my family will still eat like crap - kids at school, Brad just because).

                We know a guy who fended off cancer recently (I can't remember what kind) with a plateful of vitamins and a gallon of orange juice every day. He opted against surgery and chemo/radiation, accepting his fate and taking his death sentence. His wife would have no part of that and did a ton of research. She had him taking so many vitamins, eating a healthy diet, and drinking a gallon of oj a day (that's what he washed down those vitamins with) and 6 months later, he was cancer free and has remained cancer free for 3 years. It's quite phenomenal to talk to them about it, actually, b/c I think he was in a later stage of the cancer (hence the reason he accepted his fate as it was).

                So anyway, I'm going to start researching how to boost my immune system, heal my gut and reduce my inflammation. I already have most of the knowledge - the trick will be applying it. And I'm starting by reading The Paleo Diet for Athletes b/c, well, I need to take care of myself while doing all this running.

                In any event, cancer prevention is on my mind.

                Also healing my gut to cure my facial eczema as well. The skin is the last organ to garner the benefits of a healthy diet, and the first to notice the effects of a crappy diet. If I want my skin to be clear and nice and not so dry, scaley, blotchy, gross, I need to heal my body so more nutrients can get to my skin. I probably need to start taking my supplements again.
                Primal since March 5, 2012
                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                Comment


                • Great post Jenn! I have been having some serious discussions with myself lately...ala marcadav, about almost this same thing. My good self says we must change our eating habits to become healthy & get rid of the inflammation, to heal our gut & our adrenals & thyroid. We will feel so much better if we concentrate on that & not worry about losing weight right now. But the bad self chimes in...but noooo we HAVE to lose weight...that's our focus...cause you know we want to look good in jeans & shorts & stuff! But wait, you know how much we love our junk food! It makes us feel good (no, it doesn't! & you're never gonna lose weight anyway eating the crap! You just don't want to give it up!). It's a viscious circle!! But I think the good self may be winning.

                  The points about the cancer are really good. Something to think about.
                  Goal: Don't worry be happy!

                  Comment


                  • The VA called me today to schedule an appointment for follow-up on my disability claim. I'm nervous. A buddy says that he doesn't believe they'll ever reduce my rating, but I found something online that says otherwise - it says that if they can find substantial medical proof that the condition has improved significantly, benefits may be reduced... but my question is this - how do you PROVE a mental health defect has improved substantially? Is it just the absence of medication? Or is it the absence of symptoms? How do you prove the absence of symptoms? And just b/c I'm functional doesn't mean I'm cured right?

                    We had a discussion about it and he reminded me that if I stop eating this way and/or I stop running, my symptoms will come back. I'm not "cured", I'm simply treating my condition with good foods and quality exercise. I still get depressed. I still have mood swings. I still experience crushing anxiety... I just cope with it differently now. Just because I don't use medication to deal with it anymore, doesn't mean the condition is gone. And I still have one medication prescribed to me - I just don't usually take it unless the anxiety gets so overwhelming that I can't function. I take it so infrequently that the doctor only prescribes 10 pills at a time, but she prescribes it still. It's still on my medical records as a medication I take.

                    Peter, my friend, reminded me that I'll never be cured, as much as I want to believe otherwise. I may be non-symptomatic, but I'll never be cured. I would assume the psychologists will think that way too. Which is assuring to me as well - I'll be seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist, not a medical doctor who understand very little about mental health disorders.

                    I still exhibit some symptoms, but they're not overly bothersome at this point. I still get abnormally nervous about things. I still fidget like you'd never believe. I still exhibt OCD symptoms. I still have wild mood swings. I still can't focus on a damn thing for longer than a few minutes. I still have to have a million things going on in my brain at once. I am just better capable of coping with them now - or maybe I just ignore it...

                    I'm not suicidal anymore, which is the most important thing - but I wasn't suicidal when I was rated either. The suicidal ideations came right before I discovered Paleo. And they got bad... and thinking back to them makes me want to cry. I was so unhappy and in such a dark place. I can't help but wonder if part of the reason I snapped out of it so quickly was b/c I had something else to focus on - I was so focused on researching diet and making plans and executing changes that I no longer thought about how sad and unhappy I was. I distracted myself from the bad thoughts - and they went away. But are they gone permanently or just temporarily? I don't know.

                    I guess the only thing I can do is to go in there, tell them how things are now, explain to them that I mostly have my condition controlled with diet and exercise, explain that time when I felt so hopeless and lost that suicide seemed like a logical option, and that I avoided it by refocusing my attention to something else. I'll explain that I still have prescription medication, but I try to avoid it b/c of the way it makes me feel (zombified, flatlined, emotionless), and instead opt for a healthy diet and quality exercise to burn off that anxiety and keep those feelings at bay. I'm definitely NOT the same person I was prior to my initial diagnosis. I used to be a fun loving extrovert... now I'm a tightly wound introvert. Brad tells me I need to lighten up all the time b/c I take EVERYTHING so seriously - I worry about everything, even things that shouldn't be worrisome. I exhibit avoidance tendencies too - I will avoid things until they either go away or come to a head. And who can forget the fixation I have on my MIL and her medical choices? That's certainly not healthy, right?

                    So yeah... I guess I'm not cured... I'm just non-symptomatic most days - or have gotten so used to the symptoms that I don't notice them anymore. I should probably write all this stuff down so I can take it to the appointment with me. The appointment is an hour and a half long, so I'll have plenty of time to explain/demonstrate that I'm still jacked up, but hiding it well. Which is a really hard pill to swallow...

                    The appointment is supposed to happen in the next couple of weeks. I guess we'll see how it goes and I'll hope and pray they don't reduce my benefits. We won't be able to survive financially if they're reduced. (Here I go again - worrying about things that aren't real - yet).
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                    Comment


                    • Wow Jenn...a lot on your plate right now. Sending good thoughts & hugs your way. All you can do is your best to explain to them how it is. Wouldn't be a bad idea to jot down some notes. Try not to worry...says the one who worries about everything too!!

                      (((Hugs)))
                      Goal: Don't worry be happy!

                      Comment


                      • I am so tired today... I want to skip my run and take a nap... must be the combination of the long run this weekend and the weather - cloudy and rainy. I need to run though. It'll probably make me feel better.
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                        Comment


                        • I hope things work out with the re-eval thing. And agree - you have a lot on your plate. Be good to yourself!
                          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                          2. Eat to heal
                          3. Move to live
                          4. Embrace today
                          5. Live with intention
                          6. Respect my body
                          7. Cultivate joy
                          8. Find my passion
                          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                          Comment


                          • TGIF! No alarm clock tomorrow. So thrilled.

                            I completely forgot to tell Brad about my appointment with the VA. It's scheduled for the 6th.

                            There is possibly lots of heavy furniture moving in my future today. We are moving from one office to another. The new office is nicer (drywall instead of cinderblock walls, new carpet in one office due to significant water damage to the old - water main broke 3 weeks ago - saturated the office) and much bigger with a better view. And it's closer to our staff. So we're moving. Depending on how that goes, I'm fully intending to run another 4 miles today. If I do run 4 today, and then follow up with 12 on Sunday, I'll have completed 42 miles for the week. Yikes. That's a lot of miles. lol And not a single pound lost as a result of them... which I think is utter bullshit...

                            I just realized as I was logging my food (I log food for a challenge in the Gym Pact app... if I log my food 4x a week, and don't miss a single day, I get cash for doing it) that I didn't really set myself up for success today. I didn't bring ANYTHING to snack on, so I'm going to have to be creative with my meal spacing.

                            I was just talking to one of the contractors who is helping us with the move (she's the lady cleaning the new office). She asked me a few questions and I answered them - mostly with "just do what you can. we can do the rest; it's no big deal" b/c the space is filled with furniture that needs reorganized now that the water damage has been repaired. She asked me if I was prior service. I said yes and she said "I can tell. You carry yourself like a soldier." That gave me a warm fuzzy.

                            Anyway, I think we're ready to really start moving some stuff, so I better get moving. Enjoy your Fridays.
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                            Comment


                            • Not fair on the lack of weight loss. Enjoy your new digs.
                              Primal since 9/24/2010
                              "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                              Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                              MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                              Comment


                              • May not be getting a new office now... as is typical with the Army, the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing, and when the right hand finds out, there's a proverbial shit storm that ensues. After we paid to have our furniture moved into the new office, to include a 700 lb safe, I went to the person who has the keys for the office so we could lock it. She is on leave today so I had to see her boss. Her boss is the 2nd in command of the organization that last occupied the space and says they never told us we could move into that area, despite the fact that everyone else believed we were moving in - to include their own operations division who sent the contractors to us for decisions - i.e. paint color, carpet color, etc (all that had to be redone after the water main break that flooded the office), so now we're at a standstill. We moved what we could back out of the office (soldier power is free), but the safe and extra heavy filing cabinet remain. Our two bosses are not here - one is on travel orders, the other on leave. The delegated commander is only an O-5 and can't go head to head with a GS-15 or an SES (big wigs in the Army world - a GS-15 is equivalent to an O-6 and the SES is equivalent to an O-7/8 (General level) depending on position held), so we currently have no dog in the fight. Gotta wait til our O-6's are back to fight that battle. And I suspect it'll get ugly b/c our command and that command have always had a pissing match going on b/c we used to fall under that command. They think we should still 'belong' to them, but we were stood up as a standalone brigade, so we're our own organization now - we sit side by side now instead of one under the other. The army is just like a wolf pack... there can only be one Alpha... It's so stupid. We constantly fight over who does what, who directs who, and who owns what real estate. It's just so stupid...

                                So, whatev... I'm just gonna sit here and answer the phones as all that nonsense is WAY over my pay grade...
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X