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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • I found a guy on Facebook after losing touch with him. We'd gone to summer camp together & kept in touch on AIM afterwards. I lost touch with him after my overdose (wasn't allowed online that summer) and he moved. I couldn't remember his last name, but on a whim, I went hunting, remembering that his father was a priest, and found him. He didn't remember me haha! But I finally got closure.

    There is someone that I hope doesn't stalk ME anymore online. I wonder sometimes how effectively private I keep my online profiles (obviously this one is not so private, but I don't reference my username or link to my journal anywhere else). I search for him sometimes, but he doesn't seem to have an online presence.
    Depression Lies

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    • Ah, the wonders of facebook. Good luck re-engaging with your past Jenn.

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      • In more primal news... actually, this isn't all that primal either... I completed half marathon number 9 yesterday. I did not take pictures this time. There wasn't anything to take pictures of since the race had us running through neighborhoods. There were some really cool houses, but I'm sure the owners would not be appreciative of me taking pictures of them. I ran it in 2 hours 30 minutes. Seems to be my typical comfortable time. One of these days I should stop outside of my comfort zone and try to run one faster.

        I really didn't feel like doing this race. Honestly, I almost skipped it. I just wasn't feeling it. 2 miles in I wasn't feeling it, either. 5 miles in I wasn't really feeling it... and I wasn't feeling it at 7 miles in either... however, at 7.75 when we turned around to go back to the finish line, THAT'S when I started getting a bit more excited about it. Then I discovered I was coming in like 5 people from the end... lol Small races. I'm not used to them anymore, I guess. All the races I've done this year have had a large running population and this one didn't. In the end, I ended up finishing 17th from the end. There were only 130 runners, which is way way small. I finished 23rd in my age class. lol

        But the good part of finishing so late in a race is that the massage tables are not still packed. I got a free 15 minute massage from one of the students from a local massage therapy school. It was an awesome deal - she got practice and credit for my massage and I got a free massage. I still have to see Dr. Lake tomorrow though and I'm sure she's going to live up to her nickname. There are still a few lingering issues she'll need to work through - namely with my IT band, which I tried to roll out yesterday but it was so upset I couldn't handle it. Might try again tonight.

        Diet has sucked horribly lately. Pulling it back in today. It's my own doing... no one else's. I have just chosen not to eat optimally and have noticed the changes. Tired, sluggish, lacking that "let's do this" motivation, achy in specific places, mild headache that won't seem to go away no matter what - maybe that's brain fog?? And sugar cravings are OFF THE HOOK! I am pledging to eat properly every day until our first Thanksgiving dinner, which I think is the Saturday or Sunday before Thanksgiving, at which time I will likely partake in some sugary goodness - but I will see about taking something at least Primal in all other aspects so I can avoid the Village Inn pies and homemade brownies.

        Which reminds me... I'm in charge of the work holiday party again. Yippee... I had fun with it last year. Better get crackin'!
        Primal since March 5, 2012
        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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        • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
          I found a guy on Facebook after losing touch with him. We'd gone to summer camp together & kept in touch on AIM afterwards. I lost touch with him after my overdose (wasn't allowed online that summer) and he moved. I couldn't remember his last name, but on a whim, I went hunting, remembering that his father was a priest, and found him. He didn't remember me haha! But I finally got closure.

          There is someone that I hope doesn't stalk ME anymore online. I wonder sometimes how effectively private I keep my online profiles (obviously this one is not so private, but I don't reference my username or link to my journal anywhere else). I search for him sometimes, but he doesn't seem to have an online presence.
          I don't keep my profile unsearchable anymore. I used to be private and unsearchable. Now I'm just private. I've learned in my struggles to find some long lost friends that I don't want others to have the same struggle. I keep my stuff private and only viewable by friends, but they can search for me and find my page (with zero access to anything) so they can invite me to be friends if they'd like. I used to befriend anyone who asked on FB but not anymore. If I don't know you, I don't add you. Period.

          I'm not worried about people finding me in real life b/c if you google my address and try to map it, you'll go to the same place FedEx goes, which is the wrong place - every single time.
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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          • Oh man Jenn....I feel your pain! I've been feeling the same way. Today is a new day! Make it a good one!!!
            Goal: Don't worry be happy!

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            • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
              I'm not worried about people finding me in real life b/c if you google my address and try to map it, you'll go to the same place FedEx goes, which is the wrong place - every single time.

              Too funny!

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              • Google, Garmin, etc, etc, show our house being about 7 blocks further north. Our address is a "South" address and no one, including Google, seems to notice that "south" in our town does not mean south of the highway, but rather south of 3rd street, which I admit is very odd. Our town's addresses are all sorts of jacked. But, it works for me b/c most wouldn't be able to find it anyway b/c we're tucked back in off the street far enough that you can't see our house through the neighbor's house. We live on a dead end road and most people don't go past the intersection, which prevents you from seeing our house. We're tricky like that. lol

                PS, I just wanted a big front yard, so we set the house back 25 yards from the street instead of 10.
                Primal since March 5, 2012
                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                • You can find our house easily enough, given the address. Just don't surprise us with a visit. You might meet the Glocks before us.
                  Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                  My Latest Journal

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                  • hahaha I'll keep that in mind. :-/
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                    • IT Band is not talking today. It has relaxed enough to be "normal" again. I did not roll it out last night. I know Dr. Lake will work it up today and it'll be so tender I won't be able to roll it for a week... Top of my foot is weird. I noticed last night there was an area about the circumfrence of a golf ball that was slightly swollen. In rotating my foot and ankle, I managed to get the area to cramp up, so it's definitely connective tissue related and not a broken bone (wasn't at all worried about broken bones, but a friend mentioned it on MFP, so I'm just getting that out of the way now). I put an ice pack on it last night and the swelling went down. Doesn't seem as swollen yet today, and it doesn't hurt as badly today. Feels bruised. Maybe the strap on my vibrams was too tight and it caused some internal irritation. Who knows, but I bet Dr. Lake will touch it today and I bet I'll want to punch her for it.

                      Yesterday was a perfectly primal day. Breakfast was the obligatory boiled eggs, bacon and orange. Lunch was leftover parmesan dijon crusted pork chops and chive cauliflower mash (OMG delish!) and an apple. Dinner was chicken parmesan made with homemade (and homegrown) tomato sauce and broccoli. The family had gluten free spaghetti with it. Had no snacks in the evening (prime sugar consumption time). I am very pleased with how yesterday went.

                      Today's goal is to continue avoiding sugar - except in fruit - and to follow the primal blueprint as closely as possible. Dinner will probably be steak and tater skins (I include white potatoes as a primal food source b/c it's a tuber, it grows on a plant and is edible raw - I love peeling a potato and munching on it raw). I "invented" a tater skins recipe where you bake a potato, cut it in half (mash it down if you wish - otherwise just slice up the flesh a bit without penetrating the skin), toss on some butter and some shredded cheese, bake until cheese is melty and bubbly. Top with bacon bits (not the commercial crap, but bacon you chop up yourself), onions, primal ranch dressing, whatever you want. Load'em up! So yummy!

                      **It's snowing right now... seriously? I'm not ready for winter! I don't have winter running shoes yet!!

                      Brad weighed the other day. His weight is up. He wrote it on the dry erase board on the fridge so that he sees it every time he heads into the kitchen. He's letting it motivate him to lose, but he's not in the right frame of mind. I can tell b/c he's depressed about it. I went to the store last night and asked him if he wanted anything. He said "something that I can drink that's not pepsi, but not water either. I'm sure there's no such thing." He's not a tea drinker. I wish he was. I think he'd feel less deprived if he could start liking tea. I wanted to tell him to drink diet soda for a while, but the paleo eater in me cringed at the thought so I didn't say anything. We all know that diet drinks make you eat more anyway, so it would probably backfire on him when he really needs for things to go downward to get him motivated and happy with his decision to make changes. He also told me not to buy any more ice cream. I've gotten into the habit of buying ice cream regularly again - for both of us.

                      He asked without asking if I was going to be following Whole30 rules again anytime soon b/c I think he wants to go primal but not be limited to no dairy at all his meals (with the exception of milk b/c he'll still drink milk even when I'm Whole30, but misses cheese and all that in his meals). I'm glad he's probably coming around and going to do something about his weight, but I'm sad that he's bummed, sad, depressed, upset, angry, whatever, about it. He says he's going to ease in, and I agree that easing in would probably be a good approach for him, but I think that jumping in with both feet would provide him with the instant gratification he'd need to get fully motivated and fully commited to the process. He'd see a significant drop very quickly if he jumped in with both feet and I know that significant drop would motivate him to keep with it... but I don't want him to get overwhelmed either.

                      This turn of events has me daydreaming and fantasizing about running my fingers down my husband's washboard abs. *swoon* I admit - I like abs. A rippled tummy on a man is a huge turn on for me. As are well defined, strong arms. Maybe he's finally reached his turning point and will stick with it, lose some weight and then work on his physique as well. I not above being superficial and shallow when it comes to sexual attraction and admitting what I think looks sexy on a guy. FIT is sexy to me. STRONG is sexy. Seriously... who doesn't think fit is sexy? Sexy isn't important for companionship, but sexy is important for sexual attaction... there are more things sexy than abs, being fit and being strong, but I'm a visual person. I like looking at a fit, strong, and per my definition, sexy body. don't judge me... lol

                      Anyhow... it's still snowing... le sigh
                      Last edited by jenn26point2; 10-22-2013, 09:10 AM.
                      Primal since March 5, 2012
                      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                      • Jenn, have him try flavored seltzer. He'll get fizz and flavor in water form.
                        Schweppes Lemon Lime Sparkling Seltzer Water | Schweppes

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                        • Found this post on MFP. Going to read it. Going to learn it. And probably going to implement it, via Paleo/Primal.

                          In Place of a Road Map 2K13 | MyFitnessPal.com
                          Primal since March 5, 2012
                          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                          • Originally posted by marcadav View Post
                            Jenn, have him try flavored seltzer. He'll get fizz and flavor in water form.
                            Schweppes Lemon Lime Sparkling Seltzer Water | Schweppes
                            I will have him try it. Thanks for the suggestion!
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                            • Ex boyfriend accepted my friend request. I was curious about what's happening in his life, so I went through his profile and looked at pictures. His oldest sister has a husband and children now. It appears his younger sister is still single. His older brother and his wife have had kids. It's amazing how quickly families can grow. His profile says he's single, but in the pics there is a girl I don't know. But they're old pictures, from like 2010, so I wonder if they broke up. I really thought he'd be married by now and have a couple of rug rats. But he's kind of an introvert, so I guess part of me isn't surprised. He's perfectly content to chill out at home and not prowl around the city looking for girls. If it hadn't been for us being assigned to the same unit in the Army, I would have never met him. He was soooo quiet! I had to approach him, which was a really new concept for me. It'll be nice to catch up at some point. I wonder if he still has our cat. I adopted a cat when I was living in a house with friends. Our landlord made me get rid of the cat and he said he'd take him. We named him Anakin after Star Wars. He was a black cat. Awesome cat. When J would leave the apartment for the day, the cat would turn on all the lights. He'd jump up and hit the switches. So funny. We couldn't figure out why the lights would always be on when we came back to the apartment b/c we knew we had shut them off. One day I happened to be there and the cat jumped at the switch in the hallway and turned it on. Totally hilarious! I hope the kitty is still doing well. He'd be about 12 or 13 years old at this point. Probably not leaping at light switches anymore. *nostalgia*

                              Day 3 of Get Back on Track. Yesterday was a perfect day. I did have some fruit in the evening. I cut up a banana, some strawberries, and opened a jar of pineapple and mandarin oranges. Mixed them together, added some shredded coconut and cinnamon. Chowed down. It was yum. But I can tell that fruit in the evenings does not make my gut happy. Feeling the gurgles again this morning.

                              IT Band is now silent. No squawking from it at all. Right foot is still a bit sore, but seems to be getting better. I will continue with my rest for this week and try running again next week.

                              My Baby Bearz was super cuddly and lovey this morning. She kept saying "Mama, I love you" and giving me hugs. Such a sweet little girl. I soaked it up b/c I know in 10 short years she's going to hate me. Gotta get all the lovings I can from them now.

                              Today is insurance questionnaire day. Gotta get that deductible back! I hope everyone's having a good day.
                              Primal since March 5, 2012
                              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                              • WTF? I answered the questionnaire and got a score of 58/100 for my overall health... WTF??

                                It says depression is an existing condition even though I told it I am not experiencing any symptoms and not being treated and it's not affecting my life... to me, that says my depression should be considered low risk...

                                It says I'm at a high risk of developing a chronic lung condition and/or lung cancer - I used to smoke - quit 5 years ago. According to all the research articles posted and all the motivational sites used for quitters, my risk of lung cancer is low at this point.

                                It says I have a moderate risk of breast cancer, colon cancer and musculoskeletal conditions... um, why? I had a breast exam... I'm not old enough for a colonoscopy yet. I guess I should have said "does not apply". I went back and changed those age related tests to "does not apply" and it still gives me a score of 58...

                                It says my risk of diabetes, heart disease and stroke are low. That's good to know...

                                What a bunch of crap...

                                Here is what the detailed report said:

                                You reported that you consume 4 servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, 0 servings of whole-grain foods per day, 6 servings of high-quality protein per day, 0 servings of low-fat dairy products per day, and an average of 4 servings of high-fat foods per day.

                                The Dietary Guidelines for Americans stress the importance of variety in your diet. You should consume foods within the basic food groups (breads and cereals, fruits, vegetables, dairy, and meat), but choose foods that are low in saturated and trans fats, cholesterol, added sugars, and salt. Choose lean meats and poultry and incorporate more fish, beans, peas, nuts, and seeds for added protein sources. If you are vegetarian or vegan, that's great! You are probably getting plenty of fresh and vital foods, but remember to take a multivitamin supplement for vitamin B- 12.
                                I'm laughing at this b/c of the eat your grains and eat low fat instructions... and I laugh b/c I DO take a B12 supplement, but the assessment failed to ask me about supplements.

                                Other things it said:

                                JENNIFER, the blood pressure you entered is in the optimal range. This is great news! If you can keep your blood pressure below 120/80, you will have done a great deal in reducing your risks of heart disease and strokes.

                                JENNIFER, your blood sugar level is in the healthy range. This is great news! It demonstrates the results of your commitment to maintaining your health.

                                Congratulations, JENNIFER! The LDL cholesterol score you entered is in the low-risk range. This is great news. It means that you certainly have some, if not all, of the elements for a heart-healthy lifestyle going for you. Cholesterol does tend to go up as we get older, and changes in diet and exercise routines can also affect cholesterol levels. Keep checking your LDL cholesterol level regularly, and keep up the good work!

                                Great job, JENNIFER! Your exercise and strength-training routine currently meets recommended standards for optimal reduction of health risks. Exercise is the best prescription for lifelong well-being. It not only improves your health and boosts your energy, it also helps you sleep more soundly at night, relieves stress, and reduces your risks of illness.
                                If all this stuff is great, then why tell me I need to improve my diet? Hmmm???

                                So, seriously, b/c I choose not to eat grains (and it failed to ask me if I choose not to eat them b/c I'm ALLERGIC or not - I'm not, but I could be and this assessment did not take that into consideration), and because I eat brain pleasing higher fat foods, I lost 41 points on my assessment... Oh and b/c I used to smoke but have since quit. I didn't expect a perfect score by any means, and I knew the assessment would be upset about my diet, but I certainly expected better than an F (based on the grading scales schools use). What a bunch of crap.

                                Oh well... we'll still get our money for filling it out. All my bio markers say I'm in optimal health, so screw the assessment. I can't help but wonder if these insurance companies will EVER get it together.
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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