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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • wow Jenn! Way to "throw your weights around" !!!!
    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
    2. Eat to heal
    3. Move to live
    4. Embrace today
    5. Live with intention
    6. Respect my body
    7. Cultivate joy
    8. Find my passion
    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

    Comment


    • I just typed up this long post and then accidentally clicked a favorite on my favorites bar and now the whole message is gone... *sigh* It's definitely Monday... here's the abridged version:

      My back is sore today after a whole lot of movement this weekend. Muscles are tired. Taking an unplanned break from the gym today b/c I walked out of the house without my gym bag. I'm sure my back is rejoicing. Might take a walk over lunch today and just take it easy. I rained to beat hell over night (we had streams and ponds in our back yard). Hopefully it's not raining over lunch.

      I was attacked by an unexpected gluten bomb this weekend. MIL made apple crisp and unbeknownst to me, apple crisp has flour in it. Of course, she didn't tell me this until I was halfway through my bowl of it. I should have asked, but I guess I trusted that she'd warn me since she KNOWS I am actively avoiding all things gluten. It was almost like a sabotage! She tells me it only has a little bit of flour in it... so I'm thinking a couple tablespoons. Nope, 1/2 cup... awesome. "It's good though", she says... well, personally, it was severely lacking on apples, but whatev. I'll make a gluten free version at some point this week and hoard it. I have a drawer full of apples that probably need used up soon.

      It's getting harder and harder for me to honestly, truly like her anymore... I don't know what it is. She just seems so cold to me and it's really frustrating. We used to actually talk and have actual REAL conversations, but now it feels like I'm trying to hold a conversation and all I get out of her is "yeah" and "uh huh" like she's not listening or would rather be somewhere else. I find myself loathing the idea of seeing/interacting with her b/c of this. It's gotten a lot worse since she and SIL started the daycare and now she doesn't seem to want our kids around anymore. I understand she watches kids all day every day and the last thing you want to do when you're off work is the same thing you do AT WORK, but seriously... if your job interferes with your ability to enjoy your grandkids, it's probably not the right line of work for you... just sayin'.

      Got lots of things for the garden done this weekend. Our garden will house strawberries, onions, tomatoes, jalapeno peppers, green bell peppers, carrots, beets, cucumbers, zucchini, summer squash, spaghetti squash, pumpkins, basil, parsley, chives, green beans, sugar snap peas, sweet peas, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, and broccoli - at least, those are the seeds I planted this weekend. Oh, and I found some blueberry bushes, so I bought three of them.

      I made "greenhouses" by taking these clear Sterilite brand plastic tubs and inverting them over the seeds. The seeds (in their cardboard egg cartons and organic seed starter) are placed on the inverted lid, and the plastic tub is placed over that. The lid seals onto it and it makes a nice little greenhouse that I can repurpose once the seed starting season is over - I'll likely use them to store the kids' now-too-small clothes. I plan to stop at Walmart to pick up some of these so I can stack the egg cartons and get maximum use out of the three tubs I've got. I think they'll make mighty nice little greenhouses. Just gotta get some bricks to hold them down so the squirrels and coons don't dig the seeds out. SIL and BIL just undid some landscaping that used bricks, so they have a HUGE stack of them. She said I can borrow a few bricks from them.

      Anyhow, I'm excited by this garden but also mildly overwhelmed by how much work it's going to be. I'm not kidding myself into thinking it'll be a cake walk. I know that I'll be uber busy on my Fridays off trying to keep up with this thing. And I know I'll have a ton of produce to eat, can, and give away. Well aware... I have a plan for the tomatoes already. I'll dice them up and do a hot water bath can on them so I can make my own tomato sauce year round. Need to find out what kind of brine the veggie canning companies use so I can can (haha, that looks funny) green beans for my son. The shear amount that I'm planting is probably foolish given that I'm the only real veggie eater in my house. But, I can always give the stuff away to my neighbors (the ones I like, anyway ). That, of course, is IF it produces. The spot I have picked out might not produce. Don't know yet.

      My compost is coming along nicely - most things are unrecognizable at this point, but I don't think it's quite ready. I don't think it's been even remotely warm enough yet to really create a good compost. Hoping it'll be ready in the next couple of weeks so I can work it into the soil when we break ground.

      Huh... that turned out to be a long summary... oh well. Hope you enjoyed.
      Primal since March 5, 2012
      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



      Comment


      • Canning veggies, to my knowledge, does not require much.
        How to Make Home Canned Green Beans or Yellow Beans - Easily! With Step-by-step Photos, Recipe, Directions, Ingredients and Costs
        I used this site as a guide/reference when I made applesauce. You don't need to add any kind of preservative. The boiling sterilizes everything so water will do just fine. Jealous about your future tomato sauce!
        Depression Lies

        Comment


        • The gardening plans sound great! It will be a lot of work - but a labor of love is never a burden

          Sorry you're having issues with MIL. Thats tough when you have to spend a lot of time with her. Maybe you need to just bring it up - ask her if there is something bothering her cuz you've noticed she's sort distant these days. See what happens.
          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
          2. Eat to heal
          3. Move to live
          4. Embrace today
          5. Live with intention
          6. Respect my body
          7. Cultivate joy
          8. Find my passion
          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

          Comment


          • Tomi, this would be the 'grown up' thing to do, but I hate conflict and confrontation, so I avoid it like the plague. if I suspect someone is upset with me, I stay clear and avoid it at all costs. The only acception to this is the friend I emailed at your suggestion.

            Likely, the problem between MIL and me is directly related to her chosen treatment for her fibro. I think she should use diet and spout off about diet every chance I get, whereas she prefers to use illicit drugs, which I am opposed to. Since she doesn't agree with me and I don't agree with her, our relationship is strained. I have broken up with guys that could have been great husbands for their use of illicit drugs... so it's really hard for me to accept MIL's use. (Hell, might even be that part of me is jealous b/c there are days when I miss my high school days (or should that be daze) where I spent a majority of my time high on pot).

            Ugh, I should really see a therapist about this. Someone else's drug use should not bother me this much... I mean, really, having once been a pothead, I can tell you being high is no different than being drunk. Maybe it boils down to trust. Whenever she 'disappears' (like at the race track this weekend) I suspect it's b/c she's going off to use her drugs. I think I'd be more approving of her using pharmaceuticals for this... why??? As a Primal/Paleo believer, I should GRASP the use of pot as pain relief, right?

            *sigh* Let it go...

            keepcalmandletitgo.png
            Primal since March 5, 2012
            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



            Comment


            • I don't know... I guess I just don't understand why someone would want to spend their life in a drug induced haze to fend off their pain when they could do the same thing through an inflammatory free diet. I just don't get it. Eventually she's got to get tired of her mind getting fuzzy just to numb the pain right? But, I guess alcoholics don't and while pot isn't chemically addictive, I think it can be highly physically addictive - especially when you suffer from chronic pain. I suppose eventually she'll get tired of being high just to numb the pain and will come around, but part of me thinks she's just being a stubborn ass about it too.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



              Comment


              • I think when the pain is that bad, you'll do anything, but change is difficult. If this works for her, she probably is not able to really grasp any idea that could work just as well or better. People in altered states are not known for thinking clearly .

                I used to get really angry at the idea of people drinking. It was absurd and I KNEW it was absurd, but I couldn't let it go. Not sure what changed, but I was able to move past it eventually. Not a bad idea to talk to a pro at least once to see if you can find some peace.
                Depression Lies

                Comment


                • I'm considering it b/c I'm tired of this plaguing me. I have friends who smoke and it doesn't bother me... why would her smoking for pain relief bother me? Makes no sense at all. Maybe it's b/c I expected better of her - like I expected her to work harder to eliminate her pain than to give in so easily. That's probably most of it there. She worked so hard to find out what triggered her migraines - alcohol, tomatoes, jalapenos - and eliminated them from her diet to remove the migraine pain... but she won't give up something as simple as wheat to cure her body aches. She just gave up, I guess. And yet she posts things on FB about eating real food and avoiding pharmaceuticals.

                  I really think that's it - that I think she gave up too easily and didn't really give diet any real chance. I remember when she was first diagnosed and I'd read something online about how the Eat Clean diet helped some people, so I suggested it and said it simply meant eliminating processed foods (at this point, it wasn't even about wheat products, etc b/c Eat Clean diet allows for 5 or fewer ingredients) and she instantly said "There have been many people who say that didn't work for them", so she didn't even want to try it. I think that's when the real battle began. She didn't even give it a chance to work...

                  It really sucks when you care about someone and you want to help them and offer encouragement and support, but they want nothing to do with your suggestions.
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                  Comment


                  • I understand your disapproval of the pot due to its illegal standing. There are certainly worse things she could be doing to manage her pain. Pharmaceuticals would be more addictive (IMO) and have tons of side effects as well.

                    If her use of pot isn't directly having an adverse effect on you or your family - then you should find a way to make peace with it. She's a good person, and you love her -- don't let this ruin your relationship.

                    I get really frustrated with my sister who won't give this WOE a try to manage her fibromyalgia - and honestly I would totally understand if she was using pot. From personal experience with the pain of fibro - I won't pass judgement on anyone who has found a way to cope.
                    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                    2. Eat to heal
                    3. Move to live
                    4. Embrace today
                    5. Live with intention
                    6. Respect my body
                    7. Cultivate joy
                    8. Find my passion
                    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                    Comment


                    • My most recent facebook post:

                      Every day of our lives, we're given unsolicited advice. As mothers, as fathers, as employees, as weight loss journeyors (is that even a word??), as weight lifters, as runners, as race car drivers, etc. Everyone has advice to share. I found the Primal/Paleo lifestyle because of unsolicited advice (stay with me here… this isn’t about diet). I had spent YEARS battling depression and anxiety (it's what got me kicked out of the army, in fact) and could not find a drug, a single drug, that could help it. Some worked for a while, but most left me feeling emotionally flat lined (unable to feel sadness and joy alike) while others took away my desires to do anything... and they caused me to gain weight.

                      Every 3 months the doctors were putting me on something else. Every two weeks I was meeting with a therapist. Nothing was helping. A friend suggested, unsolicited, that I look into diet as a cure. I scoffed and said, 'whatever', but actually DID look and was amazed to read what I'd read. I gave it a REAL, TRUE test... not a half assed 3 week or one month test, but a real true full effort test. That test started March 5, 2012. By June, my therapist was taking me off of the three medications she was prescribing... from THREE to NONE in 4 months.

                      Remember I said this wasn’t about diet… well, here’s the meat of this post: Some of us, me in particular, cannot sleep at night if we find something interesting that may be of benefit to another person, so I share it. I cannot *not* share it if I feel it pertains to you. I do it as a way to “pay it forward”. If that person who had shared the link to Marksdailyapple with me hadn't done so as her unsolicited advice, I would not have found my cure for depression and anxiety. Because of her, I MUST share what I find with those I feel it might benefit. I cannot sleep if I don’t share it because my conscious says I’m harming people I care about if I withhold what I find.

                      I understand that getting unsolicited advice is annoying, but please try to keep in mind the person is only sharing what they are sharing b/c they care. They truly, deeply care and want what is best for you. If you don't want the advice, just say "Thanks, I'll look into it" and ignore it... To not acknowledge it is rude. To shoot it down as bullshit is even ruder. If I had ignored the advice that was given to me, I'd still be paying $80 a month for prescription antidepressants and just as miserable (not to mention 38 lbs heavier).

                      Basically, what I’m saying is, if someone gives you unsolicited advice, annoying as it may be, just take a look at it. Keep an open mind and see what it is they have found. It might just be the solution you’ve been seeking and could change your life.
                      Primal since March 5, 2012
                      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                      Comment


                      • I agree with what you are saying. I found primal pretty much the exact same way as you did. I, for one, have no issue withe people using pot to help with pain. Seeing what I have seen in my life with those in pain, it does help. There are worse things than pot out there and NO pot is not a gateway drug. Very rarely does it lead to other addictions. I have a difficult enough time myself following this lifestyle that I know that I am in no way, shape or form the person to give unsolicited advice on it and I won't. I probably wouldn't give the advice even if I were successful with this lifestyle. People don't want to listen. They'd rather enjoy the crap and have to take a pill. Yeah, it sucks but its their life and they have to chose how to live it.
                        Georgette

                        Comment


                        • Great post, Jenn. It's important to keep an open mind, and so much easier and kinder to say, "Thanks for the tip" than try to shut people down. I don't argue with people about health stuff because it's stressful for all parties involved.
                          Depression Lies

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                          • Geo, I understand what you're saying, but my post wasn't about pushing paleo on people - it was about being open minded enough to ENTERTAIN someone else's suggestion. As a runner, Paleo was the LAST thing I ever thought I'd do. Runners need pasta... that was my belief. But, I kept an open mind enough to at least research what the information stated. And I was blown away by the information I received. More importantly, I was willing to give it a chance. But... even MORE importantly, I didn't just brush off the advice b/c it was easier to take a pill. The PILLS weren't working.

                            If you want different results, you have to try something different. So I did. At the unsolicited advice of a friend. That friend's unsolicited advice changed my life in a number of ways. No one will ever understand the struggle that goes on in my brain when I don't follow this lifestyle... trust me when I say it has been a life changer. I shared the story once before, in this journal, how very bad things were for me before finding primal. It's been life changing.

                            The point of my post was to say that while unsolicited advice is annoying, it can very well be your life changer.

                            I understand that chronic pain is horrible and sufferers will do anything to find a way to ease that pain. That wasn't the point... the point is, if someone provides you with information that MAY help you, don't blow it off. Be open minded enough to research it and maybe even daring enough to try it. Knowledge is a powerful thing.

                            And I disagree about pot... As a former pot user, I found myself using it more and more to get the same effects. Instead of one bowl it would take two to get high after a while. The body is a magnificent piece of machinery that adapts amazingly well to the stimulus presented to it. After a while, things stop working as well and other measures are necessary. I stopped getting high with one bowl and needed two. And maybe not in my MIL's case, but once I was brave enough to smoke pot without any hesitation, I became curious about other things - my next drug was meth. I did meth for about a year and a half. Meth opened the door to coke and acid. I don't think pot MAKES us try other drugs, but I think that (and alcohol) open our minds to new experiences and make us more willing to try other things. Additionally, the lack of judgement caused by pot (and alcohol) can lead us down roads we're best not to travel, including paths to other drugs.

                            Anyhow, I'm not discounting her pain. I understand she hurts. I understand she wants relief from the pain. But smoking pot for pain relief is no different than taking a pill... it's masking the symptoms and NOT fixing the problem. Putting duct tape on a crack, if you will...
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
                              Great post, Jenn. It's important to keep an open mind, and so much easier and kinder to say, "Thanks for the tip" than try to shut people down. I don't argue with people about health stuff because it's stressful for all parties involved.
                              I won't usually argue either. But it pisses me off when people blow me off when I'm just trying to help. You never know what little bit of information might be what you need to connect the dots to a better life.
                              Primal since March 5, 2012
                              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                              Comment


                              • Jen,something my therapist said that really helped me. He asked, Are you doing this to help them with something they are unable to do for themselves? Or are you doing something they are capable of doing, but choosing not to do in order to make yourself feel better?

                                He then said, if they could be doing it and choosing not then you need to learn to sit in your anxiety. Because doing something for others that they could/should be doing on their own is enabling behavior done really for your benefit, not theirs.

                                For me this was about doing for my kids and ex but I think it fits for your situation. People will or will not change if and when they are ready.

                                Your MIL knows about how changing her diet may help her issue. She will only act on that knowledge if/when she's ready. You were ready to hear/listened to the unsolicited advice you received. Based on what you've said your MIL is not ready, open or willing to keep hearing it.

                                BTW I get it. My family is all overweight-morbidly obese. We are family suffering from diabetes, crohn's, IBS, asthma... They have watched me change. They have eaten foods that I've made and loved it. They choose to walk their path. I choose to love them and enjoy their company any way

                                I learned my therapist's lesson well-- If I sit in my anxiety--need to fix--it passes.

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