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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • Although I don't believe you are inclined to the option of a swat on the butt for bad behavior - I would agree that in this case it would probably not help at all.

    Perhaps an eval with a child psychologist would be the best place to start?

    I know you'll handle this well, you're not one to hide from issues that need to be addressed. We're all here when you need to vent and you already know we are full of advice!
    1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
    2. Eat to heal
    3. Move to live
    4. Embrace today
    5. Live with intention
    6. Respect my body
    7. Cultivate joy
    8. Find my passion
    9. Meditate on peace in my soul

    Comment


    • Originally posted by tomi View Post
      Happy thought --- I tasted the Kerrygold............ OH MY GOSH!! it tastes like the butter I used to have at my grandma's house! REAL FULL FLAVOR BUTTER! I am forever ruined to the bland boring taste of ordinary butter! Honeybuns says Costco has it for a really good price right now - I'm thinking of making a small investment!
      I'm glad you like the butter. I'm sorry to say I've never seen Kerrygold butter at our Costco.

      Comment


      • I almost don't believe that his behavior is ODD related. Primarily b/c ODD children tend to ALWAYS be out of control. Brady's behavior is cyclical. He'll have two really really bad days, then the 3rd day he's an absolute angel, then it slowly starts to ramp up again to those two days of REALLY bad behavior. He has those two days maybe once every 5-7 weeks or so. Changing his diet didn't seem to help much. It lessened the severity of the not so bad but not angel days, but didn't stop the two climax days. It's almost like he works so hard to be good, but his mind can only handle so much and then he just bursts. My research hasn't come up with anything that addresses this.

        The behavioral specialist at the school is friends with us. She said Brady isn't what she would a behavioral issue child - just full of energy and no way to let it out during the day.

        At school, his teacher says he's an attention seeker. I agree with her. But I don't know why he's seeking attention b/c we give him plenty of attention. But he's ALWAYS talking and telling stories and wanting someone to pay attention to him. This is the kind of trouble he gets into at school - because his attention seeking behavior is distracting to the other kids at times.

        Friday, his aunt just said that he would NOT listen - which is typical of these two days. He'll do absolutely every single thing wrong and nothing you do or say to discipline him will change the behavior. He just has to get past that day. It's really weird.

        anyhow, today he was an angel. Did everything we asked, helped out, very agreeable, no whining or begging for things. When I left to get groceries he asked if he could go with. I said no that I was going without kids and he said "ok" and went back to playing like it was no big deal.

        RE: the car show - he made no mention of wishing he was there or showing that he was sad he wasn't there, etc. I don't think grounding him from the car show had any effect on him b/c today was like any other Saturday. Me and the kids hung out at home doing nothing special, just like a weekend where Brad's working and the kids and I are home doing nothing special. So, idk.
        Primal since March 5, 2012
        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



        Comment


        • Even if he's not ODD, there could be some management tips that are helpful for him. I seem to recall that you found some of the behavioral recommendations helpful before.
          Depression Lies

          Comment


          • Wish I had other suggestions. Poor guy. It must be frustrating to try so hard and then just lose it. Maybe increase his outside energy expenditure time?
            You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

            Age 48
            height 5'3
            SW 215 lbs
            CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
            LW 172 lbs
            GW 125ish lbs

            Comment


            • We're signing him up for tee-ball in hopes that some extra-curricular sports will help.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



              Comment


              • I know it may sound totally rinky dink, but a sticker reward system might work..... it's even
                working for my SOON TO BE 11yo.

                He's always been a good student and very respectful, and still is... HOWEVER, he's finally
                in with all the "popular boys" and talking waaaaay too much in class, so the teacher throws
                him out on the bench. Sometimes up to twice a day.

                I would know about it because his little brother goes to the same school and would see him
                on the bench when he was out at lunch or recess (staggered times between 2nd and 5th grade,
                so I have a spy).

                At first I was hella pissed, cuz this is new for Trevor, talking all the time and being the
                life of the party, IN CLASS. Not good.

                So, like you, I'd take stuff away - no TV, no DS, no computer, no electric scooter, no gokart...etc.

                He couldn't give two shits. And not even in a defiant way, but in the way, that he was just like
                "okay mommy!" GRRRRRR. Kinda made my blood boil! I woulda been hella pissed when I was a kid!

                Anyway, so I thought I'd go the Smarmy Gentle Parenting Route (which is SO NOT ME, cuz I am STRICT
                and MEAN) and do a sticker system.

                I thought for sure Trevor would look at me and go "mommy, relleh? stickers? r u serious?", but holy
                crap on a cracker, he LOVED IT.

                So, during the week, if he doesn't get kicked out of class, he gets a sticker on the calendar.

                At the end of the week if there are five stickers, then he gets to choose a SMALL SOMETHING to do... like
                frozen yogurt, a trip to the dollar store for ONE THING, or a walk to 7-11 for a couple of candies... he is
                VERY candy motivated (and he handles it well too, so there's that).

                It's been working like a charm and even his teacher pulled me aside to ask me what I'd been doing
                at home and I totally had to sheepishly say "um, er... stickers?"

                It just sounds so damn lame. SO LAME...but yanno, kids are more motivated to do something
                for good than for evil.

                So, take it with a itsy bitsy grain of salt, but you may want to give it a whirl.

                I know our kids are on opposite ends of the spectrum with their behavior, but it might work!

                Especially if there's something that Brady really, REALLY likes and could look forward to
                on a Friday.

                Anyway, good luck, I feel your pain.

                Julie

                Comment


                • Whatever works And maybe TeeBall will help. Team player, burn off energy etc. Good luck!
                  You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

                  Age 48
                  height 5'3
                  SW 215 lbs
                  CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
                  LW 172 lbs
                  GW 125ish lbs

                  Comment


                  • Julie, that is a great idea, but we've tried it. His school has a color system. For every day that you get a yellow (best behavior) you get a sticker on a calendar. If you get 5 days of yellow, you get to pick out of the prize box (usually something chinzy and cheap from Oriental Trading). Brady was consistently getting green (good), blue (ok) or red (unacceptable). He never got a week of yellow.

                    So then, if he got green or yellow, she'd let him pick out of the box. That worked for about 2 weeks. Then it was no red equalled a prize. But again, only lasted for about a week. Now she just writes notes in a spiral notebook that describe how his day went b/c I felt the color system was really dragging him down mentally and emotionally. He kept coming home saying he was a bad kid b/c he couldn't get yellows at school. So she stopped using the color system.

                    There is a note in the notebook every day that he needs constant reminders to stay on task, that he gets wound up and starts running around, thinks everything is a race and needs to be first in line, first to his locker, first to his cubbies, etc.

                    He shows classic signs of ADD/ADHD, but the teacher is on our side regarding medication - absolutely not. But at the same time, she agrees that he has improved since the beginning of the school year, so maybe it's actually not ADD/ADHD and is just a maturity thing. My husband was held back in Kindergarten b/c this same teacher didn't think he was mature enough to go on to 1st grade. Brady's teacher has expressed concern that he's not ready for 1st grade and that 1st grade is way more intense than kingergarten - there won't be constant reminders, instructions are only given once, etc. This scares me. I don't want my son held back.

                    But, on a positive note, she has put him in the Talented and Gifted Program for math! She said she would have for reading too, but she's only allowed to send two students per program (2 for reading, 2 for math) and had to keep it fair as Brady isn't her only bright student (her words).

                    I suspect we'll be ok. The PE teacher acts as a guidance counselor as well and he sat in on our P/T conf. He said that Brady isn't the only child they're having these types of problems with, and he isn't the worst by far, that he's a good kid - nice and loving and super sweet, just doesn't *remember* the rules and needs reminders, and that we shouldn't get discouraged. We just need to consistently remind him of the rules until he starts to remember them on his own. We were so glad to sit down with the PE teacher b/c he made us feel so much better. The kindergarten teacher always makes us feel like our kid is terrible and will never make it.

                    Hopefully he'll continue to improve and these completely uncontrolled days will become less frequent.
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                    Comment


                    • Somehow I missed he is just in kindergarten. Sounds like it is possible he is just all boy. Sadly we have tried to beat that out of them in the public schools. He will be fine Mom. As much as possible just let him be outside and run.
                      You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

                      Age 48
                      height 5'3
                      SW 215 lbs
                      CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
                      LW 172 lbs
                      GW 125ish lbs

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by valmason01 View Post
                        Somehow I missed he is just in kindergarten. Sounds like it is possible he is just all boy. Sadly we have tried to beat that out of them in the public schools. He will be fine Mom. As much as possible just let him be outside and run.
                        This is my thinking too, but then when I consider the other students being good, it makes me wonder. Thank you for helping to ease my mind.
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                        Comment


                        • Well darn it!

                          Yeah, stickers won't work if they have him all stressed out
                          and calling himself a bad kid. Not good.

                          Well, if it's any consolation, *I* stayed back and I lived to tell about it.

                          My mother put me in K when I was FOUR, so, went to K, then first grade and
                          then to second and oh hell no, so then I went to something called "Jr. First" which
                          was like first grade with just a smidge of second thrown in.

                          If my mother would have put me in K when I was 5, I wouldn't have had to stay back!

                          But, I must say, it didn't affect me too much because I was so young, AND it got me closer
                          to my friends, which were a year behind me anyway.

                          Sure, I graduated high school when I was 18, with four months to go until I was 19, but
                          nobody cared and neither did I.

                          Also, after just going through first grade last year with my youngest, I can tell you for SURE
                          that it is NO PARTY. It's like they just pull the rug out from under them and yell "welcome to the
                          real world! now get to work!". Seriously, the biggest shock ever.

                          Well, not for me, since the eldest already did it, but gosh, they really amp up "how great" school is
                          in kindergarten with all the stupid jackass parties, and snacks and events and, yanno, every week
                          it's something else, and then in first grade - ZIP. You may have a holiday party, but that's it. The
                          rest is all work. Second grade is worse, but I won't go into it....

                          Anyway, from one mom to another, and from someone who has experienced staying back, if he DOES
                          need to stay back, in the long run, it won't be a big deal. And hopefully, if it happens, you can get
                          a -different- teacher....

                          There are so many different teaching styles out there, that maybe another K teacher in your school
                          would be a better fit for him.

                          Maybe when those free Fridays of yours start you could sit in on another class and check out the teachers.

                          That is, if there is more than one K class where you are.

                          Here at the boys' school, we have 3 kindergarten classes.

                          Also, if he *does* stay back, that means that he and McKenna (your daughter, right? i hope I got
                          it right!) will be in the same school together longer... and every little girl needs their brother as their
                          bodyguard, right? RIGHT!

                          This August, my eldest starts 6th grade at the middle school while my youngest will be going into third
                          at the elementary school. You have no idea how much grief this is causing me! Totally lame, as I get
                          that kids grow up and all, but, ack, two schools... Baby being at school all by himself and Trevor being
                          fed to the wolves of 7th and 8th graders!

                          He also leaves for science camp tomorrow for 4 days. That has me wanting to vomit.... and I am SO TOTALLY
                          NOT THAT MOM! But, I guess I am now. Ha!

                          All right Miss Jenn, everything will turn out for the best for Brady and you guys. I just know it.

                          Julie

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by marcadav View Post
                            I'm glad you like the butter. I'm sorry to say I've never seen Kerrygold butter at our Costco.
                            You're right Marcadav -- they didn't have it. I was so bummed.
                            1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                            2. Eat to heal
                            3. Move to live
                            4. Embrace today
                            5. Live with intention
                            6. Respect my body
                            7. Cultivate joy
                            8. Find my passion
                            9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                            Comment


                            • No worries. My semi-professional opinion for what its worth is that we are asking too much while simultaneously teaching them less. Just love him, let him know that he is okay. And Jenn my nephew starts 6th grade next year. I have already been through this w/ my son who is now 25 and it still makes me sick to my stomach. Hang in there Moms! They will survive!

                              Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                              This is my thinking too, but then when I consider the other students being good, it makes me wonder. Thank you for helping to ease my mind.
                              You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

                              Age 48
                              height 5'3
                              SW 215 lbs
                              CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
                              LW 172 lbs
                              GW 125ish lbs

                              Comment


                              • I think he'll out grow it. Lots and Lots of love and plenty of good healthy activity will certainly help right now. If he's extra bright then he could be frustrated mentally and its manifesting through his behavior. ???? Does he have lots of things at home to keep him mentally challenged?

                                Do some research on gifted and talented kids and see what you can find. You're a great mom, Jenn!
                                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                                2. Eat to heal
                                3. Move to live
                                4. Embrace today
                                5. Live with intention
                                6. Respect my body
                                7. Cultivate joy
                                8. Find my passion
                                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                                Comment

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