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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
    Didn't do any good. Just caused a fight. Whatever. I'm so done. I'll keep trucking b/c that's what I do... but I'm not happy about it, and like all other grievances, it'll get stored away and likely used later - you know, like they say in the Miranda Rights...

    Half tempted to get separate checking accounts...
    Separate accounts might not be a bad idea but will probably lead to another fight.

    As for the rest, well, I wish I had something inspiring to say that would make a difference, but frankly, it sucks. All I can do is hope it gets better for you.

    Comment


    • Jenn - just a thought on the MIA friend situation. Have you thought about offering an apology for maybe overwhelming her with too much info? Could be she's just needing to be validated and know that you see her side. That could be all thats keeping the wall up between you. Worth a shot since she's obviously someone very dear to you.

      As for the race car debt --- that really sucks - but what are gonna do? Skim $100 off a few other things and get it over with. Tell Brad he better explain the details better next time.

      Gotta pick your battles, ya know?
      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
      2. Eat to heal
      3. Move to live
      4. Embrace today
      5. Live with intention
      6. Respect my body
      7. Cultivate joy
      8. Find my passion
      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

      Comment


      • Originally posted by tomi View Post
        Skim $100 off a few other things and get it over with.
        Well, while I do not know Jenn's situation exactly, it is getting to the point for many, especially with furloughs looming, where there is not $100 to skim.

        Comment


        • I have a feeling also that this is not the first time her husband hasn't thought a debt all the way through, hence the fury.
          Jenn, I wish I had an answer for you on either of those, but my answers are not ones that would work in y'all's particular cases.
          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
          My Latest Journal

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          • I had created a post yesterday afternoon explaining that this was not the first time it had happened, but I deleted the post.

            At the end of last racing season, I was told that there was a debt with "Bud" the parts guy (he allows Brad to 'charge' parts and pay them back b/c Brad has agreed to give him any and all racing "proceeds" checks - those checks he gets for racing - winnings, if you will). Last year's "winnings" were not enough to cover last year's "losses". There was something like $1600 in race car debt. I was initially told we'd owe $700. I made a plan and made it happen. Then when I made my last payment, I was told that we still owed $100 because he and his dad just 'estimated' what was owed.

            Additionally, at that time, he rode my ass about getting checks written to Bud b/c he didn't want to leave Bud waiting for money, not taking into consideration that our household bills are WAY more important than his race car debt... so, car payments, groceries, etc, came first in my book, and IF there was anything left over, then Bud could have it. This happens EVERY stinking year. Now, mind you, we don't race to 'make money'. We race b/c my husband has a complex.

            Jon is right. Right now, $100 is a LOT of freaking money for us. Every dollar we have has a job and there are no unemployed dollars in our pool. We already pay the minimum payments on things so we can't just skim $100 off of stuff til it gets paid. And if I remember correctly, the loan was due in full this month, so there was no stretching it out for a bit longer (maybe it was due next month... can't remember exactly. They do 6 month notes for the race car). As it turns out, in order to cover the interest, I had to pull it from the furlough funds. I am VERY unhappy about this, but my mood is elevated today thanks to 5-htp, so it's not getting to me right now.

            The "discussion" ended yesterday with Brad telling me his dad was going to split it with us b/c the racing account couldn't afford it b/c they still had shocks and whatnot to buy. So, the $2500 they got through sponsorship and made at the party this weekend is essentially gone ($1500 went to the race car loan in question). It's just a never ending battle and I'm exhausted by it. Every time I turn around, he and his dad are asking for money to put into the race car - either b/c they've wrecked it or something has broken or they're not fast enough. It's a freaking money pit, is what it is...

            What I think bothers me the most is one of two things: either FIL just ASSUMED Brad and I could pay it and assigned it to us, or Brad told FIL we could do it without talking to me first.

            What also bothers me is that Brad lives in the now, where I live in the future. He thinks we need to set our budget so that we can live happily now, going out to eat on a whim, buying what we want on a whim, etc... whereas I think a bit more practically and worry about the future b/c if you don't plan for Murphy's Law, Murphy's Law will strike you when you can least afford it - car will break down, damage will happen to the house that's not covered by insurance, etc. I want to "live like no one else right now so what we can live like no one else later". That's a Dave Ramsey motto... don't buy things up now b/c everyone else is... hold out and pay with cash later, is essentially what it's about.

            Basically, we have different goals and no matter how many times I show him the numbers or tell him what my plan is, it doesn't sink in and he asks for money for this or for that... and it's never just $100 or so... it's always closer to $500 or higher. he essentially lives without a budget which we all know you can't do when you have debts to pay. In Dave Ramsey speak, he's a free spirit and I'm a nerd... I have to have a plan and stick to the plan. He just prefers to live without boundaries...

            Anyhow, to end with some good news... because of yesterday's debt payoffs, our credit union says we are now approved to purchase a new(ish) car for me, which was my initial financial goal this year - to get things paid off/down well enough that I could get a new(ish) car. I will NOT, however, be telling Brad that this has happened b/c I want to get further along before we buy a car. We're approved for a car payment of up to $500 a month. I have no intentions of spending this much. Paying off my credit card is my new priority. I'm thinking about buying something near the end of the summer - when the model year close out sales take place. Maybe I can get a new car for the price of what I'd pay for a used. *fingerscrossed* I'm looking at getting a Ford Edge - I love them. Have wanted one since I first saw one... and heck, maybe the furlough money that doesn't get used (if we're not furloughed) can be a down payment.
            Last edited by jenn26point2; 02-26-2013, 08:37 AM.
            Primal since March 5, 2012
            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



            Comment


            • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
              Anyhow, to end with some good news... because of yesterday's debt payoffs, our credit union says we are now approved to purchase a new(ish) car for me
              Yay for good news. I really hope it works out for you.

              Comment


              • Oh, and down 3 lbs this morning. Back to 191... I wish it was 183, but it's not... 8 lbs to go to get back to my Primal Low.
                Primal since March 5, 2012
                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                Comment


                • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                  Oh, and down 3 lbs this morning. Back to 191... I wish it was 183, but it's not... 8 lbs to go to get back to my Primal Low.
                  At least you are heading in the right direction. Given all the stress you easily could have said, "F' it" and gone for an allout junk fiesta. So good on you for keeping it all nailed down.

                  Comment


                  • Nah, when I get pissed, I clean. lol But I did snack on some strawberries, coconut and chocolate chips with whipped cream last night. Yum!!
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                      Nah, when I get pissed, I clean.
                      Oh, in that case, come to my house and get really, really angry.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                        Oh, in that case, come to my house and get really, really angry.
                        lol if I didn't have so much work to do in my own house, I might take you up on that...

                        Hey, my mom's going to be in AZ next week. Going to Phoenix to the race. Just some random, worthless info for ya. lol

                        Oh and LOVE your corn syrup quote. lol
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                          lol if I didn't have so much work to do in my own house, I might take you up on that...

                          Hey, my mom's going to be in AZ next week. Going to Phoenix to the race. Just some random, worthless info for ya. lol

                          Oh and LOVE your corn syrup quote. lol
                          I will wave at your mom from down here in the armpit of AZ

                          Thanks. I burgled the quote from a video someone posted here. I found it hilarious.

                          Comment


                          • Same could be said for wheat and soy...

                            ***

                            DeathStorm2013 Part 2 (or is it Part 3 now?? I can't remember) has started. They're cancelling schools left and right. Brady's school dismisses at 1 pm today. The flakes are still little, but there are a LOT of them and they're sticking. The drive home tonight should be a pleasant one. Was planning to make cube steaks in gravy for dinner tonight, but wondering if I need to change that plan. Cube steaks always take a bit of time between browning them, making the cream of mushroom gravy and then baking them... Hopefully they'll give us some admin time so I can cut out early. Gotta stop at the store and get mushrooms yet...

                            Class Wednesday and Thursday this week. Blah! Only 2 more weeks of my Strategic Planning class and then I'm down to working on only my thesis... which I really need to get working on. I've blown through 6 weeks and gotten one page written... *sigh*
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                            Comment


                            • Hmm...cube steak in gravy. That sounds awesome. Good luck avoiding the worst of the deathstorm.

                              Comment


                              • Hey Jenn - my suggestion to "skim" came from what I remember of your pay-off plan from some time ago. I thought there might be some "gravy" going onto the other debts that could be re-purposed for this one time need. Sorry if I sounded flip about it. I thought there was some extra going out to pay off a few things.

                                As for Brads habit of bad money usage........... maybe its time for his racing needs to come out of his own allowance? It's his hobby so maybe he should have to be responsible for funding it. Maybe his allowance plus whatever overtime or odd job money could be his to spend on his race car? There has to be a line drawn someplace. But I'm sure figuring out where that line should be will not be easy or pleasant. Purhaps you could suggest a cash only deal -- if the car breaks and theres no money to fix it - then the car sits until the money is gathered. Or take a season off and let Brad figure out how to build a working car fund during that year?

                                Is he even slightly willing to be more responsible about the finances? Or is he dead set on staying in the same willy-nilly spending style?

                                I'm sorry you're constantly dealing with this frustration. There's few things harder to deal with in a marriage than how to handle the finances.
                                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                                2. Eat to heal
                                3. Move to live
                                4. Embrace today
                                5. Live with intention
                                6. Respect my body
                                7. Cultivate joy
                                8. Find my passion
                                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                                Comment

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