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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • gostate05, thank you for your input. I do appreciate it.

    The color system the school uses does not offer incentives. If you break the rules, you lose a color. If you reach red, you have a time out in the hallway, or time with the principal depending on the severity of the crime (for instance, hitting a friend is an immediate red and you go to the principal's office).

    We had our conference with the teacher last night. She didn't knock our parenting style and she didn't tell us we were doing anything wrong. She simply stated things we knew to be true - Brady needs constant redirection and reminders of the rules. He is always active and never sits still. Because he is always moving around and getting distracted, he is a disruption for the entire class.

    She said he does VERY well in small groups (6 or fewer kids). She said he scores above average on all of the tests she administers (yesterday was a test day and while she's not supposed to show us his scores, she did and noted that each of them was "above average" academically. She said she's got 4 reading groups and he's in the highest one. She said the time of the day that he is his best behaved and most attentive is during reading and math.

    She said it seems like he's always trying to be the center of attention. For instance, she said that she commented that a student had gotten new shoes and Brady came up and said "I got a new shirt! See!" She said there are times when he's being an excellently behaved child and she'll use him as the model and say "everyone needs to sit like Brady" and not 10 minutes later, he'll be acting out. It's almost like she gave him attention, it felt really really good, and once that attention was gone, he had to do something else to get the attention back.

    She said he has been an excellent little boy at lunch this week. Instead of packing him a cold lunch, I have been allowing him to eat school lunch. I guess he's loving it... which is good and bad at the same time.

    She said under NO circumstances does she agree with medicating children (whew! That's what we thought she was going to suggest), but he is a very active child. We came to no conclusions last night other than to try to provide him with more positive attention at home as well as school. If he does something very well, she said she gives him a thumbs up or remarks how behaved he is being. We are going to do the same at home. This morning, he got in the car and strapped in without being told to, so I told him that was very good and I appreciated that behavior. I almost wonder if ignoring his poor behavior will work - like if we don't acknowledge it, if he'll stop doing it??

    We are also going to keep the computers off at night until after the kids go to sleep - which will be a slight problem for me considering I have a thesis to write... but we'll work on that.

    Anyhow, we are going back to no dairy - probably starting next week. After allowing him to eat unrestricted the last week, his dad has finally noticed that there was a change when we cut milk. So we're going to do that again. Of course, that means cold lunches again... not sure how that'll effect his lunch time. But, we'll do sandwiches or something to hopefully keep him occupied. He's got a love for pb&j like all kids.

    So... that's what happened yesterday at the teacher conference. No one has any solutions, just concerns. Hopefully he starts to settle down as we provide him with more positive attention.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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    • I'm glad it was a positive meeting, just keep trying. My seven yr old is always trying to push the limits. Once we settle on some plan, he seems to come up with new mischief. Now he is hitting and saying the F word at school. Good thing I like his teacher and she is patient.
      Primal since 9/24/2010
      "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

      Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
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      • I hesitate to make this comparison, because I know it can be apples and orange. I know with any reasonably intelligent and trainable animal (dog, horse, dolphin, etc), it can work better to praise the positive (within reason, you don't want them to become "bored" with the praise) and ignore the negative (again, within reason, if it's particularly bad, you point it out as undesirable.)
        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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        • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
          I hesitate to make this comparison, because I know it can be apples and orange. I know with any reasonably intelligent and trainable animal (dog, horse, dolphin, etc), it can work better to praise the positive (within reason, you don't want them to become "bored" with the praise) and ignore the negative (again, within reason, if it's particularly bad, you point it out as undesirable.)
          That's kind of what I was doing too - comparing him to an animal.

          Oh, and I told her that the color system was really upsetting him, that he'd cry when I picked him up b/c he was a bad boy and all his friends can get yellow but he can't and it's not fair, etc, etc, etc. She thanked me for sharing that with her and that she would approach it differently. Given that the color system is a school program and not just something in her classroom that she does as an individual teacher, I think her hands are tied and she has to use it (or a similar system), but I think she's going to approach it differently. She said he already gets numerous warnings before he's told to change his color when the other kids are not - one infraction and they change - Brady gets numerous chances to "make it right" before he's told to change his color. I almost wonder if she needs to stop with the warnings. She mentioned this, but said she's afraid he'd cycle through the color system multiple times a day, and even that would invalidate the color system and not create any improvements.

          I love his exuberance and his extroversion, but I really wish he'd settle down, follow the rules and not create so many distractions for the rest of the class.
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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          • How many warnings does he get? Is that fixed or does it vary? If it varies, as opposed to "3 strikes and you're out", he may not realize it's actually a looming threat and the teacher's just hot air until it DOES happen. It's almost like he's only being punished randomly, so he can't figure out what the infraction is that causes it. Even if he knows the rules, he needs direct tie of "This misbehavior ALWAYS causes this action" and "this positive behavior ALWAYS gets me this reward," or it can't sink in. It's how humans are wired.
            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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            • It sounds like he gets 3 or 4 warnings.

              I have found that physically redirecting him is what works the best. For instance, if he's playing with toys instead of putting his coat on, I have to physically take his arm and gently pull him away from what he's doing while explaining to him that it's time to put our coat on. But I don't think she's allowed to do this kind of redirection.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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              • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post

                She said it seems like he's always trying to be the center of attention.
                She knows he's a little kid right? That's a pretty standard behavior! Anyway, I'm glad to hear that the meeting went well.

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                • Probably not, as sue happy as this country is.
                  Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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                  • Carb-flu = tired Jenn. Sleepy Jenn. I just wanna take a nap. And reading articles on how to build a "visionary business" aren't helping... lol

                    By the way, my thesis was approved.
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                    • Yay for the approval. Boo for tired Jenn. (I hafta double check every time that I put the 2nd 'n' in your name.)
                      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                      My Latest Journal

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                      • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                        (I hafta double check every time that I put the 2nd 'n' in your name.)
                        lol it gets misspelled all the time. I'm used to it. It's what I get for trying to be an individual in high school.
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                        • Jenn - it sounds like you and the teacher are on the same page and moving in the same direction. I think NK's "this behavior always gets THIS action" ........ and visa versa with the reward is a really good way to approach this with Brady. Some kids just need firm boundaries, ya know? Wishy washy stuff just confuses them.

                          Heck - even our 22 year old (oldest daughter) had to be told flat out "this has to stop! you have more important things to worry about than what color paint we put on the walls! WE pay the mortgage, YOU don't" ---- thats what it took to get her to stop fighting for control of the house. (course, then she moved out) Anything less and she just ignored it. Her dad even wrote up a list of "house rules" and gave it to her.......... nope, she ignored it. Honestly I don't think she even read it.

                          Anyway......... maybe if Brady knows he only gets ONE warning, he'll be able to better control himself in class. ????? I think its worth a try. Give it a month and see if things change?
                          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                          2. Eat to heal
                          3. Move to live
                          4. Embrace today
                          5. Live with intention
                          6. Respect my body
                          7. Cultivate joy
                          8. Find my passion
                          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

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                          • I have a headache today... I think I'm dehydrated. Trying to push fluids today.

                            Question about the 5-htp. Nameless, when do you take it again? I set a reminder on my phone to take it at 3 each day, but I remember you saying you take it twice a day.

                            Could 5-htp cause headache?

                            Listening to some music from my college days - Boy bands and the like. Reminds me of the fun I had in college - frat parties and such. When I first turned on the Pandora radio and started listening, I laughed. Normally I'm an alterna-rock/heavy metal gal. lol But in college, my neighbors and I got into a boy band kick. Backstreet Boys, NSync, Brittney Spears, Christina Aguliera and the like were our go-to bands. We'd dance around the room, and laugh hysterically with each other. Blast it from our cars with the windows down. Just being silly. I miss feeling silly like that. Not much silliness goes on anymore. Too many responsibilities, I suppose.

                            Chiro appointment in 30 minutes. My neck and shoulders are really sore. As are my thighs. I believe it's all residual DOMS from my workout on Tuesday. Well, I know the ache in my thighs is from my workout. Hoping shoulder and neck stiffness are too.

                            Not in ketosis yet... hoping it's soon. Tired of feeling tired. I need so badly to remember this draggy feeling when I go off the rails again. Maybe it'll keep me in check - yeah right.

                            Still 3 lbs heavier than last week too. Damn crap food. *sigh*

                            Brady update: Mrs. Riggs sent home a note last night stating she's got a new behavior system she wants to try and will send home a note with details on Friday. Interested to see what she's got in mind.
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                            • It could probably cause a headache. I know if I take too much Tyrosine I get a headache, but I don't know if 5-HTP can. I wouldn't rule it out immediately, anyway. Could also be the dhydration (or a combination of the two).

                              I split my dose up to take at dinner and about an hour or 90 min before I want to go to bed. If you are taking yours earlier, try mid-afternoon and dinner.
                              Depression Lies

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                              • Sooooo tired today. Just wanna sleep. Headache is finally starting to go away after chiro appointment. Possibly my neck was the culprit?

                                J Lo on the Pandora. Love it. lol

                                BAS for lunch. Not sure how to track it. Going to guestimate.
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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