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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • You would be a great Pediatric Nutritionist.

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    • Aw, thanks, Judy!
      Primal since March 5, 2012
      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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      • I hope you can do something that really interests you soon. I am loving the animal homeopathy course too. So interesting. The second module talks about how bad grains are for our pets

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        • Brady's teacher emailed me yesterday. I had asked her to take Brady off the milk roster because I keep getting a notification that his account is low and the only way to not get that email is to get taken off the roster. She replied telling me that Brady got red that day b/c he hit a friend and thought saying sorry would be enough to make it go away. She said she wants to meet with Brad and I to discuss what to do next b/c obviously the "diet" changes aren't enough (yes, she really did put it in quotes).

          I'm fuming mad. At her, not him. Kids hit their friends... it's a fact of life. Until they learn personal boundaries, they are going to hit their friends at least once or twice. He's a boy.

          I wrote a long email back to her:

          Looking at the calendar you were sending home, with all the first and second smilies circled, I assumed he was doing fine at school over the last couple of months.

          I am at a loss as to what to do to make him behave for you. He comes home crying on days that he gets blue and red saying that he's a bad kid and all of his classmates are better than him and that he can't get yellow because it's too hard. This color system is killing my kid's self-esteem. He's constantly comparing himself to other kids and that is just not right. He is his own person, with his own attributes, his own personality, and he should NOT be feeling like a failure at six years of age because of some arbitrary and subjective color behavior code system.

          Additionally, I think some of the things you've been writing him up for are a bit absurd. He took his crown off on his birthday and you made him change his color? He's NOT a bad kid and I am VERY upset that he feels he is. It's amazing to me that he's so misbehaved in your classes, but yet the daycare he attended prior to school had no issues with him, nor does the Latchkey.

          What solution do YOU propose? We've disciplined him for getting blues and reds. We rewarded him for getting yellows and greens. We've switched his diet up in an attempt to correct any possible food related behaviors. I mentioned before that I think he could be bored - as in not challenged enough mentally. In preschool, he had to be separated from the class and taught to read because he was bored and disruptive. He was bored with the curriculum because he already knew it and felt it was boring to rehash it. Pulling him aside for sight words worked wonders for Mrs. Holladay. I would like to know what kind of challenges you are posing for him to challenge and occupy his mind so he's not as disruptive in class. Is it possible that the problem is stimuli? Classroom stimuli or lack of positive attention? BOTH have a significant impact on a child's behavior.

          I understand that hitting his peers is uncalled for and should absolutely result in a color change to red. I DISAGREE that starting the class song too early, taking too many paper towels, and taking off his crown warrant such drastic color changes. I understand you have a code of conduct that must be adhered to in your classroom, and I understand it is meant to prepare him for grade school, but I am at a loss as to what to do about making him mind you and his other teachers. I don't know what to do at this point.

          He's a stubborn, bullheaded, challenging child. I agree 100% about that. But that's part of his personality and these same traits that drive you nuts during the day are the very traits that will make him very successful in the future. As a teacher with many years of experience, I am more than willing to consider any possible solutions you might have to offer.

          I will get with his father to determine a date and time in which to meet with you.
          I did not send it b/c Brad told me to wait and we'll talk about it at the meeting, which I guess is going to take place tomorrow afternoon. The thing is that I won't be confrontational face to face.

          So, for the time being, I guess we'll let the gluten and dairy free thing go and see what happens. If his misbehavior escalates, then we'll go back. This makes me so angry. I can't help but think that it's not actually a problem with him, but a problem with the way the school is handling him. Paula, I'm especially interested in your opinion.
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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          • I'm especially weak mentally today. Makenna had me up from 10 pm til 3 am when Brad finally went and got her to sleep in our bed with us. Then at 4, his alarm went off (he decided to play hookie from work today), then at 6 mine went off. I'm exhausted. And emotional as a result.

            I've been really pissy lately too. Like angry, annoyed, frustrated, overwhelmed pissy. I think it's lack of sleep. So, my intent is going to be to find myself in bed my 9:30 every night that I don't have class (so, every Thursday and and every other Wednesday I'll be up a little later). In bed by 9:30, lights out by 10:00. That will give me 8 full hours to sleep - provided it's not interrupted by the two stupid dogs, the two kids, or my snoring husband. I get furiously angry when I have constant disturbances. Last night, Makenna started waking up at 10. Then I kid you not, every 15 minutes to half hour, she was fussing and required attention. Every half hour for 5 freaking hours. At 2:30 I finally told Brad he needed to do something b/c I was going to lose my mind. She fussed 3 more times before 3:00, at which point he just brought her to our room. After that she slept fine.

            And, of course, as we all know, when we lack sleep, we lack mental capacity to handle stress, even mild stress, so I get upset. I get angry, annoyed, and frustrated. I start getting short with my kids, which doesn't make either one of us feel good.

            Of course, I have class tonight (til 10, then a half hour drive home), so it'll be a late night. I can't tell you how much I hope Makenna (and Brady for that matter) sleep tonight. And how badly I want the dogs to be moved back outside so their wanderings don't wake me. Or how badly I want Brad to stop snoring. I just want sleep. Why is that so damned hard to ask for?
            Primal since March 5, 2012
            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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            • Would writing down (bullet points, or what you wrote here) what you want to say to the teacher help? I am not good at voicing those kinds of concerns (not confrontational, that's not not productive, but...forcefully, shall we say?) either, but writing them down helps me, because I can just say, I wrote some things down that I'm concerned about, and either read directly from the list or my passage, or just mention the topics and see where it goes from there.
              Depression Lies

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              • I know my middle sister was akin to Brady, and my parents didn't try anywhere near as much with her. It honestly sounds like the teacher is much too strict for Pre-K. That said, I think your e-mail is a great jump point. Start with "We've tried all this. [insert things you've tried.] We already know what of this works and doesn't. We're also aware that Brady has caused problems before when he's not challenged enough. What do you suggest to challenge him more? We know that coloring does nothing to challenge him, it needs to be mentally challenging." If the teacher has no ideas, go in armed with some ideas of your own. If she brings up how he's "failing the color system," that's an excellent time to point out to her what you have here: some of his infractions are ridiculous, others are part and parcel of being a kid. Yes, certain things should be immediately caught and pointed out so the kid doesn't do that again. The color system seems to harming Brady more than helping him, though. (aside: is there another teacher he can be transferred to?) Maybe go in armed with adaptations to the color system to suggest.
                Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                My Latest Journal

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                • All of the kindergarten teachers use the same color coding system.

                  I really think the problem in the classroom is lack of mental challenge. He's bored. Plain and simple. When he's bored at home, he acts out. When he's bored at Grandma's, he acts out. The latchkey and the daycare apparently kept him more active or challenged. Sure, he's probably got a bit of a distraction issue - if he's getting dressed in the morning and the tv is on, he'll zone out to the tv and forget what he's supposed to be doing. I do the same thing.

                  Sure, she's got 30 years of experience whereas I have 6 years of experience... that doesn't mean her methods are superior. I think the problem is that she's old and bitchy. She taught Brad when he was in Kindergarten, so she's at least in her 50's. The other teachers in the kindergarden program are in thier 30's. She's probably still using techniques that worked when parents were allowed to beat their kids. I don't know what to do about it anymore. Part of me wants to say "fuck it", let's ride the year out, and move on to 1st grade and put this behind us. But... if he isn't concentrating on his work now or goofing off in class, it's likely not going to be better next year.

                  But this color system is definitely hurting his self-esteem. and I don't know what to do about it.
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                  • I think you're right about him being bored. Tell the teacher. I'm not sure she'd be willing to do it, bu there was a method my parents used in conjunction with the teachers to keep us (all 3 of us were bored in school) occupied. Each day, we were given a secondary assignment. Mine was always a book or chapter to read and be ready to talk over with Mom and Dad at dinner. Cassie's was to learn something new or be able to explain why on something. I think Pat's was something to do with checkers or chess. Do something similar with Brady, if the teacher will work with you. Once he finishes the work, have the teacher hand him something else. A picture book on dinosaurs, a picture book with a few words on this that or the other. Some crayons, so he can figure out what colors make up what other colors. Ask him about it over dinner. Keep him involved in it.
                    If the teacher won't go for it, screw her. Give him the books or quiet things to learn when he's done. If she bitches, ask her how him quietly learning is disruptive. If she insists on marking him down in color for that, let me know. I have a few kids stories on useful insubordination that will throw her color system out the window rattling around in my head.
                    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                    My Latest Journal

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                    • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                      All of the kindergarten teachers use the same color coding system.

                      I really think the problem in the classroom is lack of mental challenge. He's bored. Plain and simple. When he's bored at home, he acts out. When he's bored at Grandma's, he acts out. The latchkey and the daycare apparently kept him more active or challenged. Sure, he's probably got a bit of a distraction issue - if he's getting dressed in the morning and the tv is on, he'll zone out to the tv and forget what he's supposed to be doing. I do the same thing.

                      Sure, she's got 30 years of experience whereas I have 6 years of experience... that doesn't mean her methods are superior. I think the problem is that she's old and bitchy. She taught Brad when he was in Kindergarten, so she's at least in her 50's. The other teachers in the kindergarden program are in thier 30's. She's probably still using techniques that worked when parents were allowed to beat their kids. I don't know what to do about it anymore. Part of me wants to say "fuck it", let's ride the year out, and move on to 1st grade and put this behind us. But... if he isn't concentrating on his work now or goofing off in class, it's likely not going to be better next year.

                      But this color system is definitely hurting his self-esteem. and I don't know what to do about it.
                      Color system's are ridiculous. They absolutely can destroy a child's self esteem. More than likely the problems exist within the teacher's classroom management skills, on top of him being bored like you said. Children tend to act out most when they are bored. If actually could even extend a little bit further than just being bored and that he just isn't being challenged? Does he tend to be brighter than his peers? Do you have behavioral problems with him at home? If not more than likely the teacher is to blame.

                      Does his school have an "open door" policy? Meaning that you can go in at any time without having to make it known? I would suggest (if your schedule allows) to randomly show up and watch how he is in the classroom, sit off in a corner (so that your not distracting him from school) and just document the things that you see. Once you get your own view of how your child is in the classroom and the teacher's management skills you may be able to see some patterns that can be correctable.

                      But if the problem lies only within the teacher's management skills, its hard for a parent to correct that. If your son is coming home saying that he is a bad child, more than likely the teacher is berating him in front of his peers. And if that doesn't stop quick your son will become what I call the "scapegoat" child. What is the scapegoat child? The scapegoat child is the child that gets blamed for doing things by his classmates when he actually didn't do anything. Better yet kids get so used to doing this that they will say your son did something wrong on a day when he isn't even at school.

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                      • He's a very bright boy. He can count to 100 by 1's and by 10's, yet the teacher is teaching him the numbers 15-17 right now. In preschool, while the rest of the class was writing the numbers 1-12, he wrote all the way to 41 before he asked if he could stop. He knows his alphabet and reads at a level 1 (the level 1 books you buy at Barnes & Noble are more difficult than the ones he's reading in school). He is adding numbers already. He is very good at memorization. He may not know how to physically add yet, but he knows 12 and 12 make 24, and 100 and 200 made 300. He's very imaginative too. He wrote a freaking book the other day. Sure, the book only had 3 pages and each page had only one sentence, but he wrote it. It went something like this "I like race cars. Trucks and trailers pull race cars. My favorite race cars are modifieds, 4 cylinders, and late models". And he drew a picture for each page. Sure, it was racing, which he has been around his whole life, and he had to ask for spellings for the bigger words, but he wrote it, which is not something I would expect from a newly turned 6 year old (he just turned 6 on the 10th). He's a VERY bright child.

                        I've been reading a lot about how behavior problems are signs of being gifted. And I want to approach her with this information, but I'm not sure how to do it without sounding like the "my kid is the best, smartest kid in your class and you're the bad one". I don't want to sound unduly conceited, ya know? I was in the Talented and Gifted program in junior high, but b/c I lacked the motivation to apply myself (still have that problem), I was removed from the program. Brady might fall in the same category, but I'd at least like to see if maybe he's too far advanced for her teaching style.

                        I will admit that he does have a problem with talking back and arguing. He is very challenging in that regard, but he comes by it honestly. Both his dad and I are the same way, me probably worse than Brad. And he does it worse when you don't give him a chance to speak his peace before interjecting your own comments. I try to be sure to let him speak - to show him that his words are worth something and that I respect him, and I'm not sure his teacher does the same.
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                        • Originally posted by Neanderthal Betty View Post
                          But if the problem lies only within the teacher's management skills, its hard for a parent to correct that. If your son is coming home saying that he is a bad child, more than likely the teacher is berating him in front of his peers. And if that doesn't stop quick your son will become what I call the "scapegoat" child. What is the scapegoat child? The scapegoat child is the child that gets blamed for doing things by his classmates when he actually didn't do anything. Better yet kids get so used to doing this that they will say your son did something wrong on a day when he isn't even at school.
                          He has mentioned from time to time that he didn't do whatever she told him to change his color for or that someone else was told to change their color and not him, but she changed his color on paper when he didn't change it on the board. The other day he said he only had to change his color from yellow to green, but she wrote down blue. Of course, I have to go by what color is on his calendar and not what he told me he actually got. It's very frustrating.
                          Primal since March 5, 2012
                          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                          • Oh, it sucks that you got a bad night's sleep after the email from the teacher.

                            I think the letter is generally good and should be sent so that the teacher knows your talking points and that you have tried to make changes at home. I would remove or reword the parts that are more personal and question her teaching ability. You may not want to go in there with her already feeling that you plan to attack her. I know you wrote it in the heat of the moment. I often have to tone down my original letters after I calm down. PS my son's teacher uses the same color code plan. I don't love it either.

                            Here's what I might drop/change. (Hope you don't mind.)

                            Paragraph 2-end after the word age. Add the "additionally" sentence from paragraph 3 to paragraph 2. You state that the pre school had no trouble with him then in the next paragraph explain how he caused trouble out of boredom. I would leave the second sentence of para 3 out.

                            I would add to paragraph 4 defending the new eating program by adding the changes you have seen in general, because that is what she attacked with her quotes.

                            I hope you can get some rest tonight.
                            Primal since 9/24/2010
                            "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

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                            • Yeah it really sounds like he isn't being challenged, but then again how can he be challenged when he is able to count to 100 and the other kids can only get to 12? I mean thats crazy! When getting ready for kindergarten kids are not expected to know how to add, the biggest thing is being able to recognize numbers (certainly not up to 100), recognize upper/lowercase letters, be able to write their name, know the names of shapes, know their address, and their parent's telephone numbers (with cell phones though, it makes this a little challenging) Preschool is mainly about developing social skills, and developing the skills listed above.

                              I'm surprised actually that the preschool is utilizing a color system, kids don't become "concrete thinkers" until around age 7, I would try to make a claim that the color system is not developmentally appropriate for the age of the children involved, and that they are doing a disservice to the children under there care. Being that preschoolers are not concrete thinkers they aren't going to understand what they did wrong, let alone what it was that they did in the first place. If you ask me, this is very damaging and if their goal is educating and nurturing the young child then they need to develop developmentally appropriate practices in the classroom.

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                              • I'm just so ready for this school year to be over. Brad and I have already decided that we're going to request a different teacher for when Makenna starts kindergarten. She's stubborn and bullheaded too.

                                It seems to me that Mrs. Riggs wants kids that will mind her every word and not contest her in any way. I'd like to see what colors other kids are coming home with on a daily basis - to see if other kids are causing problems too or if she's singling my boy out. Brady said the other day that he was the only kid whose color got changed.
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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