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My Journey from Sugar Burner to Fat Burner - jenn26point2's Primal Journal

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  • Thanks, NW. I'll look at that this weekend.

    I am rather down today. Life just feels kind of sucky today.

    I don't like my job. I have nothing to do here. I basically hold down a chair for 8 hours a day, and waste 2 more hours driving here and back. I really wish I had more to keep me busy. Taking classes and sitting through training that will help me in the future is good and all, but exTREMELY boring on a daily basis. I wish I could work part-time like Tomi. I could make some money and get things done around the house - all in the same day.

    Speaking of money. It sucks. I'm tired of stressing over it.

    I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up...

    It's cloudy today - which is what I think is contributing to this lull in my mood. I'm just... ugh. I want to melt into a lump and just do nothing today. Even sitting upright is more than I want to do.

    I think it's PMS week. I really need to start tracking that...

    I'm so uninterested today that I don't even want sugar... Wait... that's a positive thing... isn't it? I'm confused.

    I don't feel tired or lethargic... just uninterested. Unethusiastic. Blah.

    Curled up on the couch with a cup of tea and a Disney animation sounds like a wonderful idea right now. "Check your brain at the door" movie with feel good endings and a warm mug of tea... *bliss*
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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    • My princess is finger painting. She makes my heart swell.

      Bearz finger paint.jpg
      Primal since March 5, 2012
      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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      • If things happen in 3's, I'd like a bit of warning before #3 comes along.

        Brad's grandma rode by ambulance to the ER this week. I guess she'd developed a fever of 103 and it was making her delirious. They couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. They started doing some more investigation and realized that she had possibly gotten an infection from stepping on a tack a few days before. She's also type II diabetic (but takes really good care of herself - by CW standards - to manage it). Because of the diabetes, she wasn't healing properly so they were afraid the infection would move to her skeletal structure and wanted to perform a surgery to see how deep the infection got. It's quite possible she could lose her foot. They couldn't do the surgery yesterday b/c her blood is too thin (cardiac patient on blood thinners as well) so they had to wait for her blood to thicken. From what I have been told, she has since started to show improvement since the removal of the blood thinners. Let's hope her improvement continues. Prior to going to the hospital she had gone to the doctor complaining that she didn't feel well. They couldn't find any reason for her to be ill so they called it a virus and sent her home. But, in their defense, they were never told she had stepped on a tack, but at the clinic I go to, if you're diabetic, they automatically check your feet everytime you come in. If this clinic had done the same, they may have caught this sooner.

        Yesterday (or the night before) Brad's cousin went to the ER and had an emergency appedectomy. He went to the doctor complaining of pain and they gave him an antibiotic and sent him home. He started googling his symptoms and decided to go to the hospital.

        What is it with doctors not investigating things deeper? Why do they just look at the outside, assume it's a virus or bacteria and send you on your way?? Do they WANT their patients to die???

        I hope both doctors that missed these diagnoses wake up and realize they could have caused the death of two people.
        Primal since March 5, 2012
        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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        • So in my mildly depressed state today, I haven't told you about a cool thing that happened b/c I'd rather feel sorry for myself then celebrate the victories. I decided at this very minute that doing so is bullshit and I need to celebrate the victory or I'll never bust through this temporary funk...

          Anyhow, as I was walking down the hall today to get some water from the water dispenser for my Herb Ox, I noticed my jeans were shifting while I walked. I felt it first in the butt, then in the thighs. I'm excited to wash them again to see if they fit well after a washing or if this is b/c I'm on my 2nd or 3rd wearing of these jeans (in my defense, I have only one pair of jeans that fits).
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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          • Hurray! That reminds me of a really cool thing that happened to me. Off to my journal.
            Primal since 9/24/2010
            "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
            MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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            • Aw your daughter is cute Jenn.
              I really don't trust Drs, and avoid them like the plague. I use homeopathics/herbals first. I do know my children though, so I know if I do need other treatments. Its one of the reasons I had a homebirth second time around.
              I hope things improve for you soon, I really do. Are you looking for other work? Sorry, I can't remember if you have said already.

              Yay for loose jeans! I hope one day I can wear jeans. I have not felt comfortable wearing them, since I was a teenager, and a normal weight. I do like them though. I need to buy a pair of goal jean maybe.

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              • Someday you will probably be working pt too. Remember .............. I am 52 years old - my kids are all grown - and my husband has built a pretty awesome business that is able to support us. All in time, Jenn, all in time.

                I wonder if a visit with a financial advisor (not the 401K planning type) but more like a counselor - could help you with the logistics of getting your spending in check. There are always ways to cut back and redirect funds - but sometimes we need to have someone else show us the way. It could be a well spend $100 - or whatever they charge.

                Sorry you're feeling so down about the job and stuff. I've been where you are - 'cept I was in a highly stressful office with more weight on my shoulders than I signed up for. Keep looking for alternatives - I know you are highly capable and I'm sure you find your way to another job that is a great fit for you and is something you can feel good about doing.

                McKenna is a doll baby! I hope that finger painting is hanging on the fridge right now! (did I spell her name right this time?)

                Oh --- and WOOOT WOOOOT on the loose butted jeans! Thats always so excited! I love it when the jeans are falling off and its time to drop to the next size!
                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                2. Eat to heal
                3. Move to live
                4. Embrace today
                5. Live with intention
                6. Respect my body
                7. Cultivate joy
                8. Find my passion
                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

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                • Your little girls is so cute .
                  And yay for loose jeans!
                  My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
                  My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
                  Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
                  Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

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                  • haha Tomi. It's actually Makenna... no worries. Everyone spells it wrong. If you wanna play it safe, just call her Kenna.

                    I expressed to Brad how important it is to stop spending, stop taking debts. I put it in the perspective that if he hadn't taken the 1750 and the 1,000, we'd have those dollar figures to use toward other debts. I told him the first one alone would come damn close to paying off the Turn 3 loan. I told him that it's partly my fault for letting him take them, but he needs to understand that we have to stop. I told him that we can get ahead of this thing if we don't spend any money outside of our $25 per person weekly money. NOTHING. Not a dime more and we can get through this within a few short months.

                    I think he understands now and realizes just how close we are to being in some seriously big trouble. All of his overtime, ALL of it, is being directed into savings in case I get furloughed, so there is NONE to be used for anything fun. We have GOT to save for that. If we don't the furlough will seriously damage us - to the point of needing a bankruptcy lawyer. I think he understands.
                    Primal since March 5, 2012
                    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                    • Fingers crossed that will do it Jenn, and you can get out of the money mess

                      Speaking of money, just realised id budgeted the weekly amount for food, and petrol on a fortnightly budget. Thankfully was able to move things around a bit, but doh!

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                      • I love the way Ausies talk! whats a fortnight?

                        Jenn - good job on the hubby talk! Sometimes they just need to have it layed out in front of them in plain and simple language. Men are very basic creatures............ "Just the facts, ma'am"!!! Maybe you're too old for that show........... ????

                        I will be anxiously awaiting happy tails of bills being paid and money woes easing up a LOT! Its gonna be a good year!
                        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                        2. Eat to heal
                        3. Move to live
                        4. Embrace today
                        5. Live with intention
                        6. Respect my body
                        7. Cultivate joy
                        8. Find my passion
                        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                        Comment


                        • Oi im not an Aussie
                          And are you making fun of me? LOL

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                          • Fortnight = 2 weeks.
                            Depression Lies

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                            • Checking back in. Sorry to hear about all your aggravations, Jenn. It will be great if Brad will get on the same page as you. To mix metaphors, it is much easier to make progress if you are pulling in the same direction, however slowly, than if you pulling against each other.

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                              • TMI warning

                                So, I finally had my first real TOM since getting rid of the birth control and it laid me out! It was so heavy I almost called the doctor. REALLY BIG TMI HERE: I soaked a super tampon in 20 minutes, and then the next one only took 30-45 minutes to soak through. Every time I used the toilet it looked like a massacre had taken place. It was pretty rough. And cramps! Oh my word, they were horrid! I felt like I was in labor, seriously. I even googled whether or not ketosis can cause a miscarriage b/c I am not kidding when I say I haven't bled like that since my kids were born. It was a little unnerving to say the least. I ended up staying home yesterday simply for the convenience of being in my own home and being able to change clothes if needed, lay down as I see fit, etc. Today is MUCH better. More "normal", so back to work. I'll have to keep an eye on next month's cycle to see if it's better or the same.

                                /END TMI warning

                                All of that, though, was worth a 2 lb weight loss. I think it should have been closer to 5, you know, to make it all worth it in the end, but I'll be ok with 2 I guess.

                                Despite it all, I remained true to my ketosis goals. Staying within 5% carbs the whole time. I think ketosis helped me get through the PMS portion and the sugar cravings that were driving me mad. So, Ketosis 1, Mother Nature 0.

                                Made some egg salad the other night. Yum!! I made mayo with coconut oil and light tasting olive oil. Then mixed my eggs and mayo with some celery, celery seed, salt, pepper, and dill relish. Super yums.

                                I made cream cheese clouds too. Super yum as well. Brad doesn't like them - they're so rich they make his stomach upset. I actually expected them to not be sweet enough for him as I replaced the stevia with 1 tbsp of honey (yes, only 1 tbsp). It's fine that they upset his tummy though... just means more for me. They're a perfect little fat boost at the end of the day if my protein is too high.

                                Today, my ratios are looking very interesting. Fat: 77%, Pro: 18%, Carb: 5% ROCK ON! Lovin the egg salad at breakfast! Now, if only it wasn't so time consuming to make the mayo!!
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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