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Confessions of a Serial Wagon-Jumper

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  • #46
    This morning....I got up. It was quite some feet of strength I tell you. Its rainy, ugly, humid, a typical August day in New England. This is going to make one of my executives cranky all day as she has a bad back and likes to complain about she walks around all day in 3 inch platform heels to make is seem like she really isn't 5' tall.

    Today I made the mistake of looking in the mirror...really looking. I had gotten an email from my aunt that asked why we no longer posted pictures of ourselves on Facebook...I told her my go-to reason. My wife works for the government and I'm trying to keep it really very private, so we don't tend to post pictures of ourselves anywhere. The truth is that neither of like ANY of the pictures that are taken of us so we refuse to put them anywhere where anyone will see them.

    This is the sad truth of it. We're fat. Obese. It's not pleasant for our self-image.

    But I'm working on it. I could work on it harder, I know...I have a ton of excuses lined up, but at the end of the day its my fault. I need to do better. I have to do better. I will....tomorrow.


    • #47
      Originally posted by bellajgw View Post
      I need to do better. I have to do better. I will....tomorrow.
      no no no no no - you do better TODAY!!!!!


      • #48
        Apparently my escapade in the bus last week did not go unnoticed. Today I have been elevate from "hun" to "princess" by my bus driver. Wonder what it will take to reach "Empress" status


        • #49
          Make sure you don't throw (delete) out the pictures you don't like that way you'll have a great before and after.


          • #50
            This weekend we have no plans. Say what? AWESOME!!! I've already begun my meal planning. I found some really great looking recipes that I'm planning on Primal-izing!

            This week we are attempting Cherry Tomato and Olive Clafoutis. I know, its a pastry...but I'm substituting out the regular flour for an almond/coconut mix. By my estimations it will end up being something like 278 calories/21 g fat, 10 g carbs, and 14 g protein. If it turns out good I might try to sneak some spinach or kale into next time. Now to find some really good slow cooker recipes.

            Oh, and the pictures? We have plenty, just none that we want shown on the internet unless we have fabulous "after" pictures to show right along next to them.

            This week we find out if our big in-office attempt at getting pregnant worked. Wife is due for her TOM on Monday and she's usually right on track. While I desperately want to be wrong I have the sneaking suspicion that it did not take. She's showing her classic "two days before" signs (moodiness, soreness, tired, etc) and she's interpreting them to be pregnancy signals. I know intimately how easy it is to convince I really do hope I'm wrong. Please let me be wrong.


            • #51
              Ah Clafoutis, you think you have me beat but you would be WRONG!! I shall conquer you. The taste is still right on but the texture...leaves something to be desired. Perhaps slightly less milk next time. 1 cup rather than a cup and a half...I think that could be the trick to you. Must remember...

              Also, attempting Heroin Chicken tonight for dinner. Not too hard to make and my place now smells amazing!! My wife is drooling at the oven, waiting for the time she can dig into these gorgeous things. I attempted with boneless, skinless thighs...though now that I'm thinking about it I'm not sure why I went skinless. Perhaps old habits from the Weight Watcher days.

              Tomorrow I attempt the pot roast in my new slow cooker! I also bought pork ribs for a slow cooker day later this week. YAY! We's gonna be eatin' good this week!


              • #52
                Success and Failure!

                Heroin Chicken, I now know why you have your name. The thighs came out PERFECT!! They are completely delicious! We each had 3-4 pieces for lunch and later, after I had put them away, I caught my wife eating another thigh - just stuck it with a fork and ate it, no plate, no knife. She said it was Heroin Chicken on a stick....needless to say it gave me ideas for our October Girls' Night party food.

                My failure? I didn't realize just how long it would take for our pot roast to cook in a slow cooker - I guess the "slow" part should have tipped me off. Around noon I looked at the instructions and said "10 hours???" Yup, 8-10 hours for a pot into the Le Creuset it went and 4 hours later we had a phenomenal dish, and moist. This time I went light on the spices and it turned out so much better.

                So a fail on using my slow cooker this weekend but a success for my Heroin Chicken and Pot Roast attempts. Tomorrow I'm working from home and shall be attempting RIBS in the slow cooker....ack!

                Diet-wise, or rather eating-wise....I was not good this past week. This weekend I was back on track and very amped up for the week ahead. We have some rather tough days ahead this coming weekend...a day out with sisters that will, I'm sure, involve a trip to a sub-shop and ice cream store. Luckily the sub-shop has good chef salads. Then the following day we're responsible for the desert table and cake for a good friend's wedding reception. Luckily its a smallish group (40-50 ppl) so we have a plan ready, my wife's been perfecting her recipes, I have taste-testers at work ready to commit themselves to our cause, but the trick will be to NOT eat anything from that table and stick to the bun-less hamburgers and hot-dogs. Not thrilled at the concept of mystery meat, so will most likely try to fill up before we leave the house.

                Today I weighed in at 253.6, not too bad considering my week, let's see if I can break out of the 250's before the end of the month.

                On a sad note, the wife is NOT pregnant. First time was not a charm and we are back to the drawing board. She is trying very hard not to seem devastated, but I know from experience how hard she is hurting. I'm being as supportive as possible. She's looking at the positives though, which is that our ObGyn is on vacation the next time we would inseminate so we'll most likely be skipping a month, giving her another month to get healthier, lose a little more weight, etc. Not a bad way to look at it. Hey, we only had a 15% chance of getting pregnant this time. Next time I think it rises to about 30-35%, and upwards. By the time we hit 6 tries we can opt for IVF which is 98% effective and then we'll have a better chance of having twins, which would thrill us!


                • #53
                  Chicken sounds delicious - not fair to not post recipes. Sorry about not being pregnant. Have you looked at Chris Kresser's website Beyond Paleo: moving from a. He might have some tips.


                  • #54
                    Recipes, let me try it once more, get it absolutely perfect, and then I'll post them..promise!

                    Kresser's website? That's a whole other conversation...there's just something about an acupuncturist charging for advice on nutrition and baby-making that doesn't sit right (and I have huge respect for that field).


                    • #55
                      Slow cooker awesomeness today...woohoo! My first attempt at anything in my new slow cooker....ribs. Mmmmm, turned out fabulously. I mixed it up between beef short ribs and pork ribs...a very simple sauce, sit in the slow cooker for 8 hours and wait for perfection.

                      Starting to see the weight coming off...slowly. I made a big mistake today and gave into my sugar urge...had popcorn with chocolate chips...a few too many chocolate chips if I were to be honest. This is my go-to binge snack when home. I'm reading a book about habits and how we form them as I'm very afraid that at this point in my life all these sabotaging days, all these binge items, have gone from simple "whoops" moments to actual habits. My hope is that this book will help me deal with my habits and how to reverse them. If I were truly honest and wanting to be able to figure things out I would have to say that I tend to eat things I shouldn't when:

                      I'm bored
                      I'm home alone
                      When I feel controlled by someone/something
                      When I'm frustrated

                      Boy...looking at that list its no wonder I've gotten so big.


                      • #56
                        Soooo not looking forward to today. I have enormous projects that I've been putting off because I'm so busy and now the people I work for want work on those its time to stop doing work to do work...ugh. How do you explain to executives that you are obsenly busy scheduling their meetings, answering questions and email, planning travel, ordering catering, working with outside vendors to schedule more meetings, training new admins, ordering supplies, oh, and managing 3 budgets....that is work they don't understand. They can't comprehend that it takes time. It takes a lot of time. But now I'm supposed to get all this additional work done that is ridiculously time-consuming...and I need to get it done fast. Oh joy. Can someone say overtime?


                        • #57
                          I hate bullies. I hate them on buses, I hate them on subways, I hate them in cars, I pretty much just hate them, Sam I Am. I was never a wallflower, my mother would always support me if I took on a bully as long as I wasn't starting things. I grew up with a solid foundation of standing up for myself and others and then somehow I lost that as I became an adult and I was taught to keep my head down, don't look at people on the street, be careful, keep your mouth shut. I'm sure I was not the only one taught this.

                          I took about 20 years to get back to where I was at age 10, but I did it.

                          What is all this about? Bullies. They are everywhere. I let bullies in Washington, D.C. get to me and I eventually left in frustration. I decided not to let them get to me anymore.

                          In Boston there are plenty of Bullies. There are train bullies, bus bullies, car bullies, and even elevator bullies.

                          Train bullies love to take up enormous space on a train. They have tons of bags and just love to wave them around, uncaring of who they hit. They like to wait by the doors of incoming trains and shove their way onto the train, pushing those trying to exit out of the way. They love to take their huge infant strollers onto cramped subway trains in rush-hour, blocking doors, blocking seats, and jamming them into people's ankles. They yell at people to move, they give dirty looks to people who dare brush into them, and worse.

                          Me? I'm the anti-bully bully. People who yell at me, I yell right back. Those people who wait at the doors to push on? I elbow them in the gut as I shoulder past them. People who smack me with their bags (and these are those who have plenty of room around them but choose to move around grandly and without care), I whip around with my backpack and send them flying. Women with huge strollers who take up space (and I'm talking about the blatantly rude people, not the ones that can't help it) that could be better used by the elderly, pregnant, or frail? I tell them to move, I may even use profanity, whatever it takes. People who complain loudly about me being near them (it happens, during rush hour, like there's anything I can do about it) and pretend like I can't hear them? I turn them around and let them have it. Hey, you don't want to be touched by anyone? You want loads of personal space? You want privacy in public to make your loud phone calls? Then take your damn car to work and get off the damn train.

                          The other day I met up with an elevator bully. My wife has osteoarthritis in her knees and some days she just can't manage the stairs at the train station. So we waited in line with the handicapped, the old, and the very pregnant, to get on the very small elevator. There was room for all of us, but just those of us standing by the door. This young, tall kid (19-20 yo) came running up as the elevator doors opened and pushed (I swear to god) an old lady out of the way so he could attempt to get on. I moved immediately into his path, hip checking him almost off the train platform, allowing the old lady the chance to hobble onto the elevator. We got on, the door began to close, there was just enough room for this skinny kid to fit in but I gave him a nasty look as he came back, angry, and ready to start something with me. He took one look at my face and thought better of it. My wife was convinced I was going to get jumped or something. Nope....he's just a bully.

                          Today was 2 weeks since I stood up to the bus bully and he has yet to come back. Has not step foot onto that bus. My bus driver asked me today what my secret was, why I am always so happy and nice. That was so sad to me. That he was honestly surprised that there were people who were just happy and nice in general. Made me really happy that I had begun sticking up for myself and others again. I've gotten back some of the 10 year old me that I was so proud of.


                          • #58
                            I had an issue on the red line with a guy not minding his own business and playing the crazy, drugged bully. I told him to mind his own business, we weren't talking to him, he told me he'd "slap me in the face". I dialed 911 and they stopped the train before the Umass stop until the police arrived (at least 15 minutes). At this time the "crazy, drugged bully" was kind of deflated. The entire train seemed more pissed at me than the bully. So they arrested him, I gave my info and when it was time for his court appearance, the ADA called to see if I would show up as the victim. Damn straight I did. He got 6 months probation, mental and drug testing.

                            I'm glad you stuck up for yourself and others, you make the world a better place.


                            • #59
                              Hullo, Bostonians. Thank you for standing up to the public transit bullies, for those who are too afraid or unable to do it themselves.
                              Depression Lies


                              • #60
                                We were discussing bullies with our girl scout troop, and I told them how I had been bullied by someone in the checkout lane just the day before. They were surprised that even grownups can be bullied. Sadly, bullies don't always grow up, sometimes they just get older.
                                I am a pretty timid person, and did not stand up for myself. Did not even realize I had been 'bullied' until a few hours later. But talking to the girls about it made me braver. I am more ready to realize I am being bullied, so that at least I can choose whether or not to accept it, and not just kowtow by habit.
                                Braver by little bits at a time.