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  • I am sorry I haven't been on for some days! Thanks for checking on me Sabine :/ It has been hectic and I have been off kilter after the evacuation and trying to settle in again. I just feel like I have been thrown off my stride and I am struggling to get back into the rhythm that works for me. I have gained a few pounds over the last few days, not sleeping well, really tired all the time and dragging myself out of bed and then no energy all day. Eating too many carbs to try and boost the energy - not working. Just feeling generally 'yuk' at the moment. Meals are a huge effort and I have very little mental focus.

    Hoping to get to bed at a good time tonight - seems the kids are also struggling as they are taking forever to get to sleep at night. We have also been doing less outside as the smoke has been pretty bad, better today though. It has also been really hot! Terribly hot for this time of the year and for being Colorado! Just want to move somewhere that is cool and wet - tired of the heat already! The fire is improving though they have said that they expect to only see the end of it in the fall with snow and cool temperatures!! Over 68 000 acres burned now, about 2000 people fighting it, almost 200 homes burned, 55% contained at the moment. Horrid weather coming for the weekend with really hot temperatures and extremely dry (single digit humidity again) Bless you all, hopefully I can get back to reading all your journals again - I miss hearing how you are doing. I find it very motivating to read your journeys and I learn a lot from what you are all going through too.

    Pray for me to have a really good nights sleep tonight so I can get back on track again and start feeling my new 'normal' again. This used to be my normal - hard to think of that! How did I ever survive all these years of brain fog and exhaustion? I need a kick in my pants or someone to grab my hand and help me get going again. Haven't been eating unprimal as far as food choices go, just snacking and too many nuts, too many fruits, not enough protein.
    Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
    Primal low: 186 lbs
    Current weight: 221.4 lbs
    Goal weight: 140 lbs

    "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

    Comment


    • Glad you are okay, although it is rough right now. Hope you had a good night's sleep.

      Comment


      • Hey Coll, hope you're feeling better already. I'd gladly send some rain your way if I could, we've had more than enough of that!!
        My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
        My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
        Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
        Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

        Comment


        • Hi CIW! It would be nice if you shared instead of keeping all the rain on your side We had a storm last night but not enough rain to even settle the dust - just lots of lightning and thunder and wind, which is just what started this fire in the first place!

          Trying to get back on track. Haven't been on the computer much, been busy outside trying to resuscitate our back yard after being neglected in very hot and dry weather. My gardens are looking great though and my kale is almost ready to pick. I had to yank a cauliflower as it had started to bolt with the heat and the chickens were delighted even if I was sad. The poor birds have been sweltering as the temps are up over 100 F every day at the moment. The one cage of chickens has a fan running all day that the birds sit right in front of, panting away. And the other cage has a hose running most of the day misting the one end so they can wander in and out of the water. Still panting poor things! I can hardly stand to be out - just hate this kind of heat, especially when accompanied by thick smoke. The whole house stinks of smoke and whenever I cough I get the taste of smoke in the back of my throat. Yuk!

          I have a really good farmers tan at the moment My arms and face and neck are really brown, my legs a little and the rest is lily white. Can't bring myself to lie in the sun at the moment - I just over heat. But we have an inflatable kids pool coming tomorrow and then we will be spending much more time in the sun, I'll be able to cool off. We also found a trampoline at a garage sale yesterday and the kids are thrilled to bits. It is so hot that they can only jump for a little while - but, oh, so much fun!

          I am back down to 193.5 pounds after going up to 196.5 a few days ago. I have been tired and not making the best meals, not that they are unprimal, but just not satisfying enough to settle cravings. I am not getting enough red meat and veggies and then I start wanting more carbs.

          Yesterday, I stepped on a thorn or sharp object that went right through my flip flop and gave my big toe a really nasty jab! Wow, did I hop around! My kids were impressed with the pool of blood :/ Yikes. It is pretty red this morning - hoping that there isn't a piece of something still in there. Keeping some good herbal stuff on and hopefully it will settle down today.

          Going to avoid eating as long as possible today, had black tea with cream and stevia for breakfast. I find at the moment that once I start eating I don't want to stop. I think I need to get myself a steak and make sure I have meat on hand to eat as I find eggs just aren't quite enough to satisfy my protein need. I am going to get back to tracking my macros on fitday.com as I found that very helpful with getting the right balance.

          I bought the kids some shorts the other day as they are growing so fast... however, they have both gotten a lot leaner since we have been eating primally and I had to laugh as their shorts just fell off them when we got home and tried them on, lol! So DD who is 9 got DS shorts (6/7 yrs) and we had to go back and get 4/5 for him. And he still has to roll the waist band over to make them a little less likely to work their way down his little butt! We went ten pin bowling yesterday - first time for the kids and had a blast. We got a summer membership and hope to do this regularly now. It was the cutest thing watching them both wrestling the huge balls around. Two games was plenty though, as DS was really tired by the end...

          We are wanting to teach the kids how to swim this summer and I had planned on taking them to the lake, about 10 minutes down the road, but it is all closed and the roads are shut down because of the fire. Just hoping that we'll be able to get in there soon - so much better than the swimming pools with the chlorine laden water.
          Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
          Primal low: 186 lbs
          Current weight: 221.4 lbs
          Goal weight: 140 lbs

          "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

          Comment


          • Slightly better the last couple of days. Feeling less cravings and am slowly losing weight again. My son asked me last night what the 'knobs' were just below my neck - I told him they are my collarbones that have reappeared - he has never seen them! LOL! We are developing favourites as a family as far as the recipes and meals go. The kids have put in requests for various new primal favourites which does my heart good! Amazing how much meat a family can put away! Buying lots of ground beef, pork, canned fish etc. Eating loads of eggs and kale chips are a BIG hit with all of us. Three of us adore brusselsprouts now and I drool when I walk past them in the supermarket or even think about them. Have been frying them in loads of butter and then sprinkling with a little grated parmesan cheese and salt and pepper. Ooh la laaa! Yum.

            We had some rain over the last couple of days! Had me in transports of delight - haven't had to water the garden for two days! Will probably have to water later on as I have newly planted seeds that shouldn't dry out and the grass is still in 'ICU'!

            Will see how the day goes with eating and will possibly report on that late this afternoon. Trying to avoid getting on the computer later in the day and am sleeping much better as a result. Been busy sewing curtains, and sheets and today may attempt a pair of pants for DD who hates the modern low waisted tight fitting pants. Hopefully I have some fabric that will work -otherwise will have to wait.
            Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
            Primal low: 186 lbs
            Current weight: 221.4 lbs
            Goal weight: 140 lbs

            "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

            Comment


            • Glad you are doing so well, AND that you have had rain. Every time I hear the news about the fires in Colorado these days, I think of you.
              Yay, collarbones!

              Comment


              • Thanks Sabine It was the first morning in forever that I could sit outside and just enjoy the early morning freshness. It was cool and the mosquitoes were not out yet, everything smelled good and it was so refreshing to sit and soak in the early morning sounds and smells and sights. I sipped on my tea and watched the young birds all yelling for mom and dad to feed them first One of our trees I call the bird condo as it has so many types of birds nesting in it. Chickadees, blue jays, hummingbirds, doves, red wing blackbirds etc.... most of them have fledged and are spread around in the various trees in the backyard and lining the irrigation ditch all fussing to be fed. The grackle young will stand next to mom and dad at the feeder with seed all around them, and wait for the parents to pick it up and feed it to them. Funny.

                I spent some time thinking about my goals and felt like I got some clarity for the next little while. I have been hovering around 193 or just less for a while and getting nowhere fast. I want to get below 190 now. I figure 5 pound increments are attainable and each time I pass one of the markers I feel encouraged and motivated. So, I am going to be careful not to snack or overeat cheese and keep a close eye on my carb intake. I don't want it too low but also don't want to overdo it as that is a sure fire way to get the cravings started.

                We unloaded our trailer (16' x7') yesterday - not that it was full but certainly plenty of stuff! We are wanting to try and sell the trailer to help pay off some debt that we accrued this last year and now I have to deal with all the stuff that has been sitting in the trailer out of sight and out of mind! My living room is a wreck again, but I am keen to deal with this and whittle things down to a more manageable state. There is all kinds of stuff that we really don't need and I am tired of having too much stuff and nowhere to put it. TIme to simplify. Going to be busy on craigslist for the next while, and have already donated a bunch of stuff that was in my way but sure to be helpful to someone else. So there should be plenty of slow movement in the next while - and plenty of lifting and moving heavy things. I have been skipping breakfast aside from my mug of tea and this really seems to work well for me.

                Got to get food going for the kids now though so hope you all have a great day and will check in again soon.
                Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                Primal low: 186 lbs
                Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                Goal weight: 140 lbs

                "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

                Comment


                • A big shout-out to the clean-out! It feels so good to get rid of stuff. I keep thinking about the sofa I gave away, and how happy my friend and her daughter were. Better than money! And so many boxes of stuff to the thrift shop and the bookstore - I have another ready right now -
                  My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                  "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                  Comment


                  • Life is kind of out of control at the moment. Aunt Flo is about to drop in, not feeling my best at the moment and have the munchies, satisfying that urge with steak and sausage and dark chocolate... Couple really late nights under my belt which leave me emotional, tired and craving anything that will bring a bit of energy. Feeling depressed overall today, I am sure it will lift soon, just feel like I need a good cry and longing for a real friend here for us and the kids... Trying to meet people and not getting anywhere with making connections at the moment. I know this will all pass - just a horrid few days. It seems that people are just too busy for real friendships, even family can't fit us in for more than a few minutes here and there. It always has the feel of a timed appointment - just miss hanging out with friends who love you no matter what and who like being with you, no agenda and no walls up either. Been over a year since we moved out here and still no real connections, guess we are just too different for the average person to handle, doesn't help when you eat like a complete freak and love it! Lol! Oh well, hopefully we'll be able to meet some other weirdo's one of these days. Still complete chaos here but slow progress is happening and it is good to see the piles of boxes getting smaller and fractionally more organised. I have done some surreptitious trash dumps of junk that the kids would not voluntarily let go of but don't even remember they have unless they actually see it. My DD is a horder of rocks and feathers and all manner of packaging etc.... been buried in her room for a couple of days and it looks habitable again ... now to teach her to keep it that way! We'll see how successful I am in this arena - never done well before....
                    Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                    Primal low: 186 lbs
                    Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                    Goal weight: 140 lbs

                    "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

                    Comment


                    • I know what you mean - does anyone really connect any more? The last time I saw my sister she hardly ever looked up from her iphone. I was trying to talk to her and she couldn't stop playing some stupid game. And I went to lunch with two friends who played Words With Friends the whole time on their phones. With each other. Don't know why I bothered going.

                      I'm pretty good at keeping rocks too. Have to stop that. I have quite a collection. I have some weird idea that someday I will set them into a walkway, but that will never happen.
                      My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                      "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                      Comment


                      • Ha ha ha Siobhan, I am a secret rock collector too Just a little more picky than DD is lol! DH was complaining about a pile of river rocks he found the other day when we returned from evacuating and saying that DD has stashes of stones and rocks everywhere - I had to confess that that pile was mine

                        Aunt Flo arrived today, will be glad to get her visit over with, but am feeling better already. Supposed to be much cooler the next week or so which is wonderful! Going to take the kids out to the lake for a little picnic today I think. The smoke is almost gone now - many days at a time with reasonable air quality which is lovely. Every now and again the smoke descends, but still nothing like when the fire was raging out of control and close by.

                        My stevia finished recently so I went to the store and picked up some more, different brand. Dreadful waste of money!!! My tea is just not the same and I caved yesterday and ordered the same brand I had before on Amazon. I love my morning cup of tea and it is one of the few treats I have and I am not giving it up any time soon! Nothing bad in it anyway really.

                        I have been having to throw away my old bra's. Just no way they will work anymore. And have to tie my pants ties really well or my pants will be around my ankles before I know it ... and the others need a belt at all times. However my weight loss has well and truly stalled. I have been around 192 - 195 for about a month now. I really need to get focused and do some tracking on fitday - but I just seem to be very disorganised at the moment. DH is not sleeping well at all at the moment and that means that I am awake a lot of the night too. He is so restless, partly asleep but not peaceful, his legs and arms churn away as if he is running or playing a sport all night long. Poor chap is tired out, I need to get out my essential oils and mix up a concoction for him and see if that helps a bit. He has been trying to get his computer work done before dinner so that he is away from the blue light before bed time. I think it may take a little while for his body to adjust though - years of bad habits to be reset. I have a hard time with all the thrashing around though, I am a very light sleeper and it really doesn't take much to wake me up. I'll just be dropping off after being woken up when something else jerks and twitches and then I have to start over again. Sigh, so I just better figure out how to help him and quickly. Will have to do some more research on sleep today. I don't usually have a hard time sleeping if I am not disturbed. Sometimes I have a hard time going back to sleep if I am woken up. But left to my own devices I would go to sleep about 9 or 9:30 pm and wake up about 5am every day. I usually put my head down and go straight to sleep. DH grew up here in the USA with lots of TV and late nights and very little sleep and has always had a problem with settling to sleep and staying up way too late at night. I don't think I have ever heard him say that he feels rested and that he had a good nights sleep, in the whole 11+ years we have been married.
                        Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                        Primal low: 186 lbs
                        Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                        Goal weight: 140 lbs

                        "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

                        Comment


                        • We have had wonderful rain these last few days! Everything is soaked and there is no smoke to see at the moment, I am sure this has helped the fire fighters! (Though the mudslides are not exactly helpful at least the fire has been suppressed more)

                          Am going to try and get more regular with my journal these next days. I really need to get focused again, seem to be hearing that from myself a lot lately. Now I just need to do it huh!?

                          I have been digging into the chocolate stash way too much lately, too many carbs all round and I can feel it as I am not moving anywhere with my fat loss. ALso eating when I am not hungry - never a good feeling! Had a friend give me a little warning about my cholesterol this morning ... just smiled and waved.

                          DH sleeping better again (still not great though) We are trying to find out if there is any way we could buy some land, so done with renting! We appreciate the area we are in but it is hard to live in a place that you can't fix up and improve and make it better all around. Have decided to quit watering the front yard (just native grass that is dormant because of the drought) as the landlord just doesn't take care of the land. It is probably all going to be paved or at least put under gravel to make a parking lot anyway in the relatively near future, depressing prospect and I hope we are out of here before that!

                          Going to get on fitday today and start tracking again. Gotten very slack and lacksadaisical - and it shows. I have a family reunion coming up with DH's side of the family next month. I would dearly love to get a little leaner before then - maybe 10 more pounds off before then. I don't think that is too much to expect. There is going to be lots of swimming and playing in the pool and it would be so nice to be in a regular swimsuit instead of my old maternity swimsuit I have been trying to do a little tanning lately, the kids are funny with their exclamations over how white most of me is compared to my neck, arms and lower legs. Time to even things out a bit I guess, lol.

                          Going to do a concerted effort today to overcome the remaining boxes lurking in a heap in the living room. We have piles of books that I am hoping the library will take off our hands. Trying to get down to the ones that we use and are really interested in. I am a confirmed book-a-holic, nothing nicer than snuggling down somewhere with a good book and devouring either the fantastical worlds or fascinating information about a topic that inspires me.

                          I am dreaming of our own piece of land, with a spring, some trees and meadows and the opportunity to build a house of natural materials (maybe a straw bale home...) Dreaming of a wrap around porch, sleeping balcony, fireplace, country kitchen and window seats, maybe an outdoor kitchen too, a herb garden and chickens scratching around. Maybe a family cow chewing her cud peacefully and a root cellar with cheeses maturing along with preserved veggies and fruits, homemade mead etc. Picture me sitting on the porch with my dear family sipping on a glass of creamy fresh raw milk and nibbling on a stick of biltong made from our own beef....

                          Ok, back to real life, I have a pile of boxes to sort out and then need to get the school area squared away so I can get going with school again.

                          Fun note, I started about 5 quarts of vanilla extract, finished the last of my previous batch about a month ago. Thinking I will give vanilla extract to folk for Christmas presents this year, might take a while to get through that much otherwise! Have a good day folks...
                          Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                          Primal low: 186 lbs
                          Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                          Goal weight: 140 lbs

                          "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

                          Comment


                          • Wow, can I come live with you? I can milk a cow and make cheese. Except I would drink all of the raw milk. I am pretty sure I can make mead.

                            And I, in fact, also need to unpack boxes - here I go -
                            My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                            "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                            Comment


                            • Ha ha Siobhan! Sorry you're going to have to share the milk, but I bet there would be enough for us all to suck down gallons of the stuff I made a pretty good heap of trash yesterday but there still remain a number of boxes that are calling for attention. I rediscovered my stamp collection yesterday and was astounded to see how many I have accumulated over the years. They are going to have to wait until I have time before I can get them all sorted and cleaned and put into an album or three.

                              I did not do so well yesterday, ate half a bar of 48% chocolate! The other half was the day before! Otherwise my food choices were ok. Just got to get on a roll again. Had a cup of tea with cream and stevia this morning and am planning on having eggs and kippers with some veggies for lunch. Maybe meatloaf for dinner, with artichokes dipped in garlic butter, and dessert of berries and cream. My back is feeling like something is a little out of place, been sewing sitting on the edge of my bed on a low table - not really working! and of course lifting heavy boxes and twisting is not helping it settle down. Going to the chiropractor this pm and hopefully that will get me back on track with my dear old back

                              I need to feed the kids breakfast and I have two towers of boxes waiting for me. Have a great day unpacking Siobhan ....
                              Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                              Primal low: 186 lbs
                              Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                              Goal weight: 140 lbs

                              "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

                              Comment


                              • Well, the unpacking is a work in progress! Definitely going to take a while to get this sorted... and everything gets more untidy and crazy while I am unpacking and trying to figure out what is going and what is staying. I have done lots of organising and rearranging - but you can't tell by looking at the house! I have installed f.lux on my computer and I really like it. Definitely nowhere near as bright as it used to be. My eyes don't get as tired as they used to either which is nice.

                                Did not eat chocolate today, have not been feeling too well the last couple of days, nauseated and just feel like I need to lie down. Not getting enough sleep, and I have that overtired feeling all the time. DH and I are just not doing well with getting to bed at a good time and I have a hard time sleeping through his bedtime routine if I go to bed earlier than he does. Once I wake up - I have a hard time getting back to sleep. It would be so nice if he would try to get to bed earlier with me ... I don't know if it is all the years of night shift that messed my sleep up, but I find that if I am woken up soon after I get to bed I feel wide awake and have the hardest time settling back to sleep.

                                Had 4 breakfast sausages, a handful of pecans, an apple, a piece of string cheese for lunch. Two cups of tea during the morning. A glass of milk and a date roll this afternoon. About 8 raisins. A handful of carrots (baby) two slices of meatloaf, a bowl of berries and cream with a quarter of a banana. Pretty pathetic I know As you can see, not doing well. Going to try for early bed tonight... Let you know how it goes...
                                Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                                Primal low: 186 lbs
                                Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                                Goal weight: 140 lbs

                                "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

                                Comment

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