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Primal Journal (denasqu)

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  • Primal Journal (denasqu)

    I weighed in at 350lbs yesterday, then I ordered a large Papa John's Supreme pizza and a dozen barbecue wings... and I can believe "I ate the whole thing". A few hours later, when the itchy hives started, I took a Benadryl and went to bed. I woke up several times during the night which is typical. IBS has had me on the toilet four times this AM and still feel the need to go #2. I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open but I'm convinced that the only way out of this nightmare is the primal life.

    The main reason I believe in this lifestyle is that about a year-and-a-half ago I almost lost my left eye to rare illness called scleritis. It was incredibly painful not to mention frightening. After testing negative for all the known associated disorders (including rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, Wegener granulomatosis) and being "cured" with a massive course or prednisone over several months, I pleaded with the doctor to explain why this just happened out-of-the-blue. He shrugged and suggested "systemic inflammation.... bad luck?". I just happened to be reading The Primal Blueprint at the time, and so I immediately started and stuck to the Primal lifestyle for about 3 months and felt better than I can ever remember. I quit smoking and lost a bunch of weight (at the time I was just under 300lbs) but the most memorable thing was the day I was walking through Whole Foods and realized I had a spring in my step, held my head high, and felt downright happy. Going to the grocery store is just about one of my least favorite activities so the experience was quite significant and memorable to me. It had been many years since I had felt that way and in every other instance of that feeling that I can recall was the result of a more traditional great experience i.e. being in love, participating in a beloved activity like SCUBA or canoeing, or traveling to incredible destinations... certainly nothing even remotely resembling a walk through a grocery store.

    Then the Thanksgiving holiday came around and a little stuffing certainly couldn't hurt.... then a slice of sprouted sourdough might not be so bad with my morning bacon, eggs, and greens. Next thing I know, I'm a 51 year old , 350lb, six-foot tall, lump of flesh that can't get through a day without an Alleve and a Benadryl; has a 58" waist; who dreads the thought of getting up out of chair or having to bend over to pick up something up; suffers almost daily from recurring tinnitus, itching hives, IBS, and lately recurring migraines; sleeps as much as 12 hours a day and is still tired most of the time; smokes at least four cigars a day; who "enjoys" a steady diet of nothing but coffee all day and thousands of calories of processed carbs and fast food each evening. In addition to feeling awful all the time, I've developed high blood-pressure, high triglycerides, and a serious corn allergy (try to find a processed food that doesn't contain some corn by-product). The inescapable fact is that guys like me drop dead every day and honestly, the way I feel, that doesn't sound like the worst alternative. Enough is Enough! I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Day 0 of the Primal Blueprint challenge starts today! I'm about half way through the 21 Day Challenge book already but just covered the part where Day 1 should be a Monday so just this one more time... I'll start tomorrow.
    "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host

  • #2
    you have to do this for you! you know that it works. you have tried it before. I look forward to hearing about your success! To steal a phrase from Nike......Just Do It!


    • #3
      Hey, denasqu, I'm just starting too. I'll be pulling for you! I'll keep watching for your progress.


      • #4
        Thank you for the comments.

        I got a head start on "the purge" and cleaned out the 'frig and the pantry last night. The only thing I missed was a bag of turbinado sugar which I don't care much about anyway. I guess I'll donate that to someone today. I'm pretty well stocked up already because I never completely stopped trying to be primal. So I've got the staples like bacon, eggs, a couple ribeyes, and a bunch of veggies that haven't rotted yet. By far, the hardest part of "the purge" was cleaning all the rotten vegetables out of the 'frig. I don't even know what some of the stuff was originally. I Clorox'd the 'frig just to make sure I don't have some zombie-making bacteria going on in the veggie' bin.

        I'm pretty fortunate in that I've got a Whole Foods two blocks away and a Trader Joe's just opened three blocks away. I haven't been in the Trader Joe's yet so I guess I'll put that on my Todo list for today just to see what they've got. We've also got a great little independent organic grocer downtown and a whole bunch of farmer's markets every weekend.

        I had planned to get up and take my dog for a 20 minute walk. I also planned to skip the coffee and cigars too. But none of that happened after I woke up with a headache and started freaking out a the thought of no coffee... no cigar... and going out for a walk. Instead, I only made a half pot of coffee and found a few cigar butts to work on. Maybe tonight I'll walk the dog around a bit. I never in my life thought I'd reach the point where a walk around the block intimidated me. It's quite humbling.

        Breakfast was a challenge. I almost headed out the door with just a belly of coffee as I usually do. But couldn't escape the thought that "today is the day". So I bucked-up and made breakfast. It was hard to make myself think about lunch but I knew if I didn't plan ahead I would probably make a stupid choice late in the day so I forced myself to throw a pear and some walnuts in a Ziploc before I headed out the door. By 2pm I had not eaten anything and really didn't fancy the idea of eating walnuts and a pear on the road so I decided I'd check out our new Trader Joes. Big mistake. An overflowing parking lot full of south Florida seniors is a pretty frightening and frustrating thing. I aborted my trip to Trader Joes and managed to escape the parking lot without and fatalities ... and I just briefly thought about swinging through the McDonald's drive-through for a couple double cheeseburgers. Instead I went home and made a big ol' salad. Fortunately I like salads and felt much better after I filled my gut. It still seems odd to me that a guy that weighs 350 can actually like salads and not use a bottle of ranch dressing on every salad either. One of my ToDo's is too learn how to make a tasty salad dressing or two. I'm not crazy about vinegar-and-oil and seems like even the best creamy dressings are all made with canola or soy. That Caesar Dressing in the Primal Blueprint Cookbook looks like a good place to start. I plan on eating a lot of salads.

        Crashed and slept for a couple hours at 5:00 pm. Overcooked my ribeye but it was still pretty good. Feel funny. Don't feel sick or bloated. Is this what normal feels like? That's weird. Didn't really do much exercise today except I did manage to drag my ass up the stairs a couple times at my office instead of using the elevator. Decided to defer the quit smoking goal for a few weeks. First Things First.

        Need to pickup a whet stone and sharpen my kitchen knives.

        Not going to make it through the night without a Benadryl cuz' I'm itching all over. No Alleve needed though.

        I plugged everything in to and came up with only 87 grams of carbs and I'm quite full. Probably would have been okay without half of that 8oz ribeye.

        B: 4 cups coffee, 3 strips bacon+2 scrambled eggs+mushrooms+onions, glass of water
        L: white tea with stevia; big salad with deli ham+olives+cranberries+walnuts+parmesan, water
        D: ribeye steak; broccoli with butter; white tea
        "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host


        • #5
          Had a tough time getting to sleep last night and was up until about 3:30 am but once I did get to sleep, I slept solid... until 8:00 am. During the wee hours I kept having the munchies and latched on to a half dozen dried apricots and a handful of walnuts.

          I'm pooping much better. I know. Eeeewwwwww.. thank you for sharing, right. My apologies but there's no room for shame here.

          Interesting eating a salad with beef fat and olive water as the "dressing". Not too bad. My mom used to make a wilted lettuce salad with hot bacon drippings when I was a kid that was delicious. I may try that again soon.

          I am noticeably less resistant to moving around today and I have been jumping up and doing things without hesitation. Relatively speaking, that's a pretty big deal to me. I had flirted on the fringe of becoming non-ambulatory so any movement that isn't absolutely necessary feels like progress. I've got a cousin that's my age and he's 500 lbs and uses a walker to get around. If this works for me, I'll be seeing him in a few months and maybe my progress will help motivate him to save his life. For he is indeed facing imminent death any day.

          I feel tired now but not nearly as tired as I was this time yesterday. I'm actually considering taking the dog for a long walk... but I hate to wake her up from her all-day slumber. They say that our pets emulate their masters behavior... hmmmmmm.

          B: 4 cups coffee; 2 strips bacon+2 eggs+celery+parmesan;
          S: white tea+yerba mate
          L: big salad + 4 oz. leftover ribeye + olives and no dressing; unsweetened white tea+yerba mate
          S: white tea+yerba mate+stevia
          "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host


          • #6
            took a nap for about an hour. feeling woozy but not hungry... at least not hungry enough to eat a meal... tired but not sleepy.
            Stuff is happening... Grok has targeted me for assimilation.

            D: two lettuce wraps with deli ham and bleu cheese; white tea+yerba mate+stevia
            "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host


            • #7
              2/29/2012 7:35 AM
              Had a middle of the night snack of cheddar cheese. Did not sleep well at all and wound up taking a Benadryl at 1 AM because of itching. Almost made it though a night without. Woke up very groggy and gassy and a headache. I want to go to Trader Joes this morning because I think I might beat the crowds but I'm going to need some coffee before I actually do that. Am I just suffering caffeine withdrawal? I gave a up about a liter per day of diet cola completely and have cut coffee consumption form a pot or two to four cups. Surely that kind of change won't go unnoticed by my body and brain. Not hungry at all this morning.

              2/29/2012 3:53 PM
              Managed to do some walking today from the far side of the parking lots at Walmart and Trader Joe's. Probably didn't amount to much more than a 1/4 mile but it's a start. Made my feet hurt at least. Trader Joe's is a pass. It's a small store with limited items so unless they have something I've just got to have it's probably going to be Whole Foods and the farmers markets for me. Picked up some kitchen knives at WalMart so I'm ready to chop and peel me some veggies.

              2/29/2012 10:32 PM wow. I fell asleep at 6:30pm and just woke. Slept solid but crazy dream about the future, trying to get over some bridge, and not being able to trust anybody because they turned out to be cannibals. I'm going to make some notes because it was damned entertaining and detailed. Hopefully I won't stay up all night now.

              S: cheddar cheese 2oz; slice of deli ham; 8 oz whole milk plain kefir
              B: coffee; gulp of kefir
              L: pear, walnuts, dried cherries
              D: Pork rinds, salsa, Kahns' Braunschwieger, white tea+yerba mate
              S: banana, white tea+ yerba mate
              "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host


              • #8
                3/1/2012 6:28 AM
                I really feel well rested. Normal. And I didn't have to take a Benadryl for the first time in weeks!... although I still had some itching, it passed. I slept solid from 6:00 pm to 10:30 pm then from about 12:30 am to 5:30 am. Still not hungry hungry at all. I feel a little backed up but not nearly so much as usual. Probably shouldn't have made meal out of pork rinds last night because I actually started feeling a little sick as I ate more of them.

                Pooping way better! I can almost feel my colon healing.

                I'm a little concerned about the low calories but I feel so consistently full. According to FitDay, I've averaged 1468 calories daily over the last three days with 56% Fat and 26% Protein. Although, every time in my life that I counted calories I consistently gained wait if I ate more then 2000 calories. But from all the CW it seems really low to be full on 1468 calories for a 6'1" 350lb guy. Surely this will change?

                3/1/2012 9:20 AM
                I did it! I went for a walk! Halfway down the block and back which is about a 1/2 mile and I feel like I should do a little Rocky dance. Thank God I've got something I can call an exercise to log. My dog is even happier about it. She got to meet some of those lucky dogs she sees through the window every day and sooo many mailbox posts to sniff! Oh my!

                3/1/2012 1:44 PM
                Had my first challenge at a restaurant and passed with flying colors. No problem passing on the potatoes, bread, and salad crackers. Full as usual.

                B: 4 cups coffee; fried a chicken breast in onions, butter, and bacon + mushrooms
                L: Cobb salad with 2tbsp blue cheese
                S: sardines in water and pork rinds; white tea + yerba mate
                "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host


                • #9
                  Hey. Great to see you starting out and pushing yourself. I'll be following your progress...


                  • #10
                    I got up at 1 am and rolled up some braunschweiger in lettuce. The hives got the best of me and I had to succumb to a Bendadryl.

                    For breakfast I had 3 cups of coffee; leftover ribeye steak; and two fried eggs. I was kind of hungry and it was very satisfying.

                    The big success this morning is that I gave birth to a beautiful #5 poo.

                    I was reading Mark's blog entry about Tipping Point and it got me thinking about how this time feels so different. Last year when I tried this it was a real challenge. I was reading, well not just reading but "studying" all the time, and obsessed with logging everything and tweaking everything. I got results but I did not enjoy the process much. The big difference this time around is that it just seems to be happening. I'm not fighting it or struggling. My tipping point was an unconditional surrender to the fact that things were not going to get any better unless I made some immediate changes and the status quo would probably kill me ... or at least make me wish I was dead... in very short order. "My way" simply doesn't work. It's pretty much a no-brainer. My best efforts got me here.

                    I've logged everything I've eaten into Fitday for 4 days and been right on target every day although I guess I could stand to consume more protein. So, I'm done logging for a while and I'm starting to get comfortable with the idea that this really is as simple as just eating the right foods, moving slowly, sprinting once in a while, and lifting heavy things. The last two are going to take a little while to get used to.
                    Last edited by denasqu; 03-03-2012, 06:48 AM.
                    "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host


                    • #11
                      "You have been unsubscribed from this Papa John's emails"

                      Sorry Papa John, I un-friend you.
                      "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host


                      • #12
                        Had one of my new almond butter protein bars around lunch time. A few leaves of lettuce with braunschweiger/mustard and some pork rinds in the afternoon. And I'm going to force myself to eat a chicken breast grilled in onions with bacon and a bunch of steamed broccoli with butter, even though I'm still not hungry. I AM pretty tired and kind of dizzy.

                        I took a nap this afternoon for about an hour. I'll be glad when this dizzy groggy part passes though.. but I'll take it over the awful way I had been feeling. Seems like when I eat a meal I'm revived for a few hours. I guess the fatigue is just my body screaming for carbs. Although I'm not craving... or even wanting any bad carbs. I've been moving around a lot more but still not really "exercising". Maybe I'll try those powerband things for while.
                        "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host


                        • #13
                          Sounds to me like you might be suffering from a bout of carb flu. It'll pass! And I'm loving your journal, you have a great sense of humor and that's a really important thing to have when you're going all in with this like you're doing.

                          Keep on keeping on!


                          • #14
                            Yes I've heard that term "carb flu" a couple times and I finally admitted this evening that yeppers, feels like the flu.

                            As I suspected though, I feel much friskier after I eat a meal. I split one of those big thick chicken breasts in half and stacked some cheddar cheese and ham on top of each half and heated it up in the microwave. Then I spread a dollop of blue cheese dressing over it all and added a plate full of buttery steamed broccoli as a side. I'm really full now.

                            I busted out the power bands and now I'm figuring out ways to use them. For starters I just wear them around the house like a scarf and bust a move everytime I've got a hand free. I even cranked out a set of one-arm military presses while I was peeing.
                            "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host


                            • #15
                              Had a midnight snack of one of those almond-butter-protein-bars followed by a lettuce wrap with braunschweiger and mustard. Jeez, I'm eating like a pregnant woman. No way I could eat breakfast this morning because I'm way too full so by default I guess I'm IFing. I'm so cool.

                              I'm avoiding the scale because I'm afraid of what I might see. For the time being I'm just going by how I feel. Toying with the idea of no weigh-in for a month or two or more..or never.

                              But this morning I didn't feel so great but that's because I was late for an 8:00 am appointment. First I woke up at 6:00 and shut off my alarm clock before it went off and then went back to bed. It was one of those sleepy decisions that seemed to make good sense at the time. Next thing I know I'm waking up at 10 minutes till 8:00 and running all over the house like a crazy man trying to get dressed and out the door. The Gulf Coast Runners had some 5K going on this morning and I nearly took out a couple of them on the way to the office. But at least I did make it out of the door and safely to the office. Quite a feat for someone that just a week ago could barely function before consuming a half pot of coffee in the morning.

                              It's an interesting twist that has developed in that I'm waking up at sunrise no matter what time I go to bed. It's like Grok is inside me and he wants to hunt.

                              There also seems to be a spiritual aspect to this endeavor developing. I've got that quiet confidence that only the defeated know and I'm wasting zero energy trying to "find an easier way" or mentally masturbating over cookies and corn chips. It's over. The fat guy lost. There is a new sheriff in town and his name is GROK.
                              "If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made out of meat?" - Tom Snyder, talk show host