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  • Ah mothers. Mine left us in the night of my thirteenth birthday. And she had such low self-esteem issues, she persuaded herself a couple of times my life would be better off altogether if she were out of it. Which was stupid, because other than those issues, she was a pretty good mother. I was the one who had to drag her back into my life. It was a lot to deal with in my teens and twenties. Fortunately things have been patched up now, but I would be lying if I said we had a close relationship. But I guess I got off pretty easy compared to you guys. On the upside, she never put me down or insulted me, showed me that being a woman did not mean having to be afraid of much of anything, that telling the truth is the way to live your life...

    I know I was a half-decent mother myself. It's the other half that worries me a bit, but I've never been prepared to ask my kids what I did wrong. Someday maybe I'll have the courage for that.

    Sabine, I take it you haven't heard anything about the job, at least nothing positive, or you would have been shouting it from the rooftops. Keep going, keep looking. Someday somebody will say yes.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

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    • wow.......... too many mother horror stories!
      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
      2. Eat to heal
      3. Move to live
      4. Embrace today
      5. Live with intention
      6. Respect my body
      7. Cultivate joy
      8. Find my passion
      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

      Comment


      • Whew, no wonder we have issues!

        I disappeared yesterday because of bad job news. Two 'no's, one of them quite shocking. The first one, it got down to two guys. Honey was one of them, and they chose the other. Disappointing, but them's the breaks. The second one, well, the last we heard, they were putting together an offer. Now the job is on hold due to budget issues, in other words, NOTHING FOR YOU! Why, oh why, do they lead you on? What is in it for them? Why tell someone 'we're putting together an offer' just to dash their expectations? It is cruel. Worse than losing out to someone else.

        You'd think we'd learn. But it is hard not to be hopeful when they are raving about you, and indicating they are pulling together paperwork to hire you. I mean, what are you supposed to think?

        We were both very down. If my Honey was the crying type, he would have. He looked so sick when the email came in, I though he was going to throw up. I went off and cried in private, but I didn't really let loose because I didn't want him to hear me. And then the girls were at home. So, more emotional suppression. SO good for all of us! I stuffed my face with cream cheese and crackers.

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        • So sorry. That sucks.
          Primal since 9/24/2010
          "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

          Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
          MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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          • I'm sorry, Sabine. What kind of work was the job that was "putting together an offer"? I had a situation where I was told an offer would be coming, then because of the nature of the work, everything was put on hold (government contract dispute) for MONTHS. I interviewed in September of 09, I think, and finally got to start the job in June '10. Maybe it's a situation like that and he'll get the offer once things are ironed out??

            Anyhow, sending short but productive job search vibes your way...

            In regard to mothers... mine wasn't the worst by any stretch, but she wasn't the best either. She spent every weekend out partying, leaving my sister and I with sitters every Friday and Saturday nights until I turned 10, at which point she'd leave us home alone with me as the babysitter. Obviously, we all have our faults. Lucky for me, I have a great step-mom, with whom I have a better relationship than I do my own mother. My relationship with my mom was always strained b/c I didn't feel like my stepdad treated me fairly in relation to my sister (he favored her) and it hurt so I lashed out with bad behavior, dating unsatisfactory men, smoking and doing drugs in high school. Stepdad and I didn't get along at ALL until Brad and I got married. The night of our rehearsal dinner, my stepdad and mom started smoking in the reception hall that clearly had signs that said no smoking. My sister was there with a 3 day old baby, whom she didn't want around cigarette smoke, so I made an announcement that on the night of the wedding, we would like no smoking in the building for the sake of my nephew's health and the common courtesy of others. Stepdad piped up about how that was BS and tried to argue with me, and Brad got a bit ticked. He stood up and said "We asked for no smoking and there will BE NO SMOKING." Stepdad has never argued with me since b/c I was no longer the weak, spineless, defenseless me... now I had back-up! lol

            Anyhow, I'm glad you've moved from hatred to indifference. Indifference is definitely lighter on your heart than hatred. I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing that with us.
            Primal since March 5, 2012
            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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            • Oh, OUCH! I'm so sorry, hun. I really am. It sucks bad enough to get the one, but both, in one day? Jeez. *Hugs*
              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
              My Latest Journal

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              • Sabine -- so sorry........... How disappointing - and to have them both come on the same day is even harder. It will happen though - I'm sure of it! Sounds like your husband has good qualities that are wanted by employers - he just hasn't hit the right one yet. Its coming ............ trust in your husbands abilities I know you do, thats obvious in the things you write.

                Happy thoughts and prayers coming your way...........
                1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                2. Eat to heal
                3. Move to live
                4. Embrace today
                5. Live with intention
                6. Respect my body
                7. Cultivate joy
                8. Find my passion
                9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                Comment


                • So sorry about the double no, that sucks.
                  "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
                  "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
                  "Moderation sucks." Suse
                  "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
                  "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


                  Winencandy

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                  • Well, at least they are both over and you can put them behind you. It's hard at this point, but it WILL HAPPEN.
                    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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                    • Well!!

                      The neighbor's daughter came over last night to get Chica! It was pleasant, no muss, no fuss. She just said she was there to get the dog. Chica was happy to go with her. The daughter said she would keep her inside more, and we said, please do, because we worry when we see her in the street, and if they are ever looking for her again, just check with us.

                      The daughter had been in her backyard while Chica was romping around in ours, so I wonder if that helped.

                      We DID miss her last night.

                      A very STRANGE interview for my Honey yesterday. The way things have been going, that is probably the job he'll get offered. We'll see. Thanks for the hugs, happy thoughts, prayers, and support. It helps a lot.

                      I am getting a morning of work today, but no money. When I was working for them before, they overpaid me for a day, but it was inconvenient for them to redo the check, so I have owed them a morning for a while. I will be glad to be squared up.

                      Watch 'Best in Show' last night, and laughed and laughed. People are so funny, and the best (worst) of it is, when I watched a 'real' documentary about a dog show, I saw the same type of things. Funny what we'll reveal. I wonder what about me is completely obvious to outsiders? And is it what I think? Heehee.

                      Middlest worked on college applications for a few hours last night. Questions about parents, and the girls realized that their dad was a veteran. They knew he had been in the Marines, but somehow they never thought about that meaning he was a VETERAN. He talked a little about the Iran hostage crisis time, and how everyone in his unit wanted to go over and kick ass, and was rather disgusted with President Carter for only trying one rescue mission. I remember being in high school at that time, watching the banner on the news shows change: 'Day 247', 'Day 248', and how they were finally released. Honey is sure it happened when it did because they knew Reagan would send in the troops, and apparently, they were itching to go. An interesting glimpse back for our family.

                      Made brownies with pecans yesterday. They are delicious. I don't usually put nuts in my brownies, since Honey isn't fond of them, but this batch I did one-third no-nuts, just for him, and slung some pecans from the back of our fridge into the rest of the batch. Well, brownies with pecans in them are FABULOUS! I have had SEVERAL (okay, 8).

                      We are getting down to the bottom of the meat in out freezer. A little alarming. I took out the last of the sliced meat this morning, to make into jerky. That leaves some stew meat, a batch of sausage, and broth. Plus the dogs' chicken necks, but we'd have to be pretty desperate to take the food from our dogs' mouths! Time to use up some of the cans of salmon and corned beef instead, I think. I do NOT want to get down to NOTHING in the freezer. I need some leeway, if only for my mental happiness. And that corned beef-sweet potato hash was GOOD.

                      Had Shakshuka for breakfast the past two days. Man, is it good. And there's enough tomato mixture to have it again today! Yay!

                      Comment


                      • I am amazed by your positive spirit despite the challenges you have been facing. So proud of you for holding it together. Maybe the weird interview will be the one. I've had weird interviews before. Learned in my classes lately that weird interviews where the interviewer does more talking than the interviewee and there's less "job talk" it's b/c they've already selected the interviewee as the hiree and the interview is just a formality, a box to check, if you will. Come to think of it, NaiadKnight had a weird interview too... maybe that means good news for both her and your hubby! *fingers crossed*
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by jenn26point2 View Post
                          I am amazed by your positive spirit despite the challenges you have been facing. So proud of you for holding it together. Maybe the weird interview will be the one. I've had weird interviews before. Learned in my classes lately that weird interviews where the interviewer does more talking than the interviewee and there's less "job talk" it's b/c they've already selected the interviewee as the hiree and the interview is just a formality, a box to check, if you will. Come to think of it, NaiadKnight had a weird interview too... maybe that means good news for both her and your hubby! *fingers crossed*
                          I can hope.
                          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                          My Latest Journal

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                          • And....she's back!

                            Less than 24 hours after they fetched her, we hear a scratch, scratching at the door. Chica is asking to come in, and the neighbors are nowhere to be seen. Cars gone from the driveway, and Chica obviously not secured in house or yard, but free to trot about.

                            So, we're back to three dogs, for now. We'll see if they come to get her, and how long it takes.

                            Need to make some stressful calls tomorrow, about money. Not looking forward to it.

                            There is a mountain of dishes in the sink, and I'm not looking forward to that, either.

                            Looked up tips on dumpster diving today, in a furtive manner, at the library. Can't decide if I am being resourceful or pathetic.

                            On the plus side, the shawl I am knitting from scraps is looking great. I am half way through the mindless part. I think next I will have to make sweater vests for the dogs.

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                            • Chin up, Sabine, something will come through. Are you still looking for yourself?
                              5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
                              Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
                              Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

                              More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
                              - Lewis Mumford

                              Comment


                              • Sabine-
                                The Mother provides (or so I keep telling myself.) I know, being in this boat REALLY sucks harsh donkey ass, but something'll come in. Law of averages says it has to, eventually, right?
                                And dumpster diving, done right, is resourcefulness. Some of my favorite furniture pieces in our house were rescued from the garbage heap and restored. My dog sleeps in a Dogloo someone left by the dumpster and sleeps on blankets someone was about to throw away. So... yeah, resourceful. Not pathetic.
                                Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                                My Latest Journal

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