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  • Recruiters are the worst kind of flirts. A big disappointment yesterday, from what we were considering a sure thing. It was hard to take. I may have cried a little. A peanut butter and jam sandwich with a tall glass of milk happened.

    On to a new day. Something good is coming. Something good is coming. Something good is coming.

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    • Originally posted by Sabine View Post
      Yesterday went well. Only good food eaten. I was hungry late in the night, but it was True Hunger, so I just told it to go away until morning and it did.

      Was hungry upon awakening, and made a plate of fried ground beef, onions, mushrooms, cheese, and avocado. I have had that several times in the past few days. Something about it is just very appealing right now.

      I was looking through the nutrition threads this morning, and a strange thought popped into my head.

      DISCLAIMER: I am not saying trolls are incipient terrorists. I am just musing.

      A troll(or a reasonable facsimile thereof) dropped into a thread I have been reading. It made me wonder, not for the first time, what do trolls get out of it? I tried to put myself in the mindset of someone dropping a comment just to get negative reaction. What does that feel like? What could be the pleasurable aspects of the activity, and what kind of personality enjoys that?

      The image that came to my mind was someone stirring an ant pile, and reveling in the commotion. Lack of empathy seems necessary to find that fun.

      Not many of us empathize (fully) with ants, and I don't think it is needed to be a caring person. But empathy for our own species (at a minimum) I think IS needed.

      Will anyone's life be ruined because they were baited by a troll? Likely not. (That would be some troll!) But just as torturing has an effect on the torturer, and not just the victim, what does it do to your psyche and soul, to aggravate people? To enjoy setting them off?

      Right after the ant pile image, I thought of that Norwegian shooter. And the Oklahoma bomber. And...well, there are too many images that came to mind. Horrible ones, and yet many of these people got satisfaction from committing these awful acts. They enjoyed seeing people put into turmoil.

      I think I will be looking at trolls differently now.

      It made me sad to think of.

      And I was just looking for some light-hearted fasting info.
      Originally posted by Siobhan View Post
      Actually, I think a lot of trolls are sociopaths at best and at worst psychopaths. They truly have no empathy for others, no sympathy or feelings for others. And they do get pleasure from hurting others. Yes, they are people, they have or had mothers, siblings, someone who loved them for at least a minute or two...but they are scary and missing something that makes us worthwhile human beings and not just people-sized holes in the universe. I've met enough of them in real life.
      My brother in law is a real-life troll. He has been a troll in my life since I was in middle school. I despise him and my despite for him carries over to my sister-in-law and their son at times. I try to control that because his wife and son are not him... DH also can't stand him - for similar reasons, but not with the same context. I had no idea DH disliked him until this weekend. It was a nice bonding moment to learn that we both nearly hate the same person. This discussion was had when BIL called DH on Saturday to pick on him about how badly the Iowa Hawkeyes were doing against Northern Illinois. The phone was plugged in to be charged, so I went to grab it for him and DH said to leave it. I said "but it's BIL" and he said "So?" So I left it... then later he checked his phone and said "Good. BIL didn't leave a message". I was a bit surprised by his tone so I said "you don't want to talk to BIL?" he said "hell no! I can't stand him!" which shocked me to the core b/c they used to do so much together and BIL was his best man at our wedding. Turns out BIL has done his troll bit on DH and has worn him raw as well, but his troll bit with DH regarded racing, whereas with me he just picks apart everything I think and say. So, long story short... trolls are everywhere and like Siobhan said, they get some kind of sick pleasure out of pushing people's buttons - I liken them to bullies.

      (another little illustration... when BIL is actually legitimately asking a question he wants a real answer to, he has to preface it with a statement along the lines of "now, I'm not judging, I'm honestly inquiring" or something along those lines. We were at dinner once and DH and I ordered an appetizer and he was questioning the Primality of said appetizer... if he was a NORMAL human being he would not have to preface his questions like that...)
      Last edited by jenn26point2; 09-05-2012, 06:57 AM.
      Primal since March 5, 2012
      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



      Comment


      • I'm scared - time out for a pity party

        Ever since 2002 we have been pretty much living paycheck to paycheck after my Honey had a two-year period of unemployment, and we went through most of our savings. I had two miscarriages and a cancer scare right around then, as well, and I am sure it affected how I dealt with handling stress. Honey has had jobs since, but always on contract, and even when the amount went up, it seemed so did our living expenses, as we began hitting the years with teenagers and then college-goers. And then when the economy went south a couple of years ago, so did his pay rate. We've never been able to build our cushion back up.

        And now he's being let go from a position that he's done great at, but the company is outsourcing to cheaper employees. He's spent the last six months training his replacement and replacements for others in the department who bailed as fast as they could when they saw what was happening. He shows up and is conscientious, won't even take recruiter calls 'on company time', and they are screwing him to the wall. It kills me to see how it hurts him.

        (And as a side note, the poor workers they have outsourced to! They are on a low salary, and are on call 24 hours a day. No comp time for when they are up until 3am working an issue, and they better be there at 8 the next morning, or there will be hell to pay. I know it is better than what they can make in their country, but it is a painful thing to see. What kind of an example of America is this? It is so exploitive(sp?), it makes me ashamed.)

        Although we will not be out on our butts in a month, I can see that any unemployment longer than a month will have me doing things like selling everything at a garage sale, asking relatives for money, telling our kids 'No, no, no.' I am not good at 'no'.

        We moved a lot when I was a kid, always renting, and owning our home is VERY IMPORTANT to me. I am worrying about making the mortgage, having to think for the first time, 'how long does it take before they do foreclosure?' I hate it, I hate it!

        I feel very shaky this morning. Just scared. I know it will pass, but it sure is freaking me out right now. Trying to distract myself with chores (and now, internet) but I am finding it very hard to focus. It is good to vent.

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        • Went out and did a good deed, which had the side benefit of getting myself out of my head for a while, so I am feeling calmer.

          Everything passes.

          Comment


          • Sabine, so sorry you are going through this. We went through a very prolonged rocky period some years back, so I understand only too well. And truth be told, my hubby is holding on to a job that is getting increasingly stressful and more precarious, just because there is so incredibly little mobility in his field. And his employer is the type who would consider letting him go if he weren't "fully on board", like, looking for other opportunities. We can only do our best, and throw ourselves on God's mercy.
            5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
            Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
            Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

            More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
            - Lewis Mumford

            Comment


            • Sabine, I can't even begin to understand how stressful your situation must be. I think what your DH's company is doing to him is just flat our wrong on so many levels. How heartless is it to make the person you're letting go train his replacement??? Seriously! Says a lot the morality of the people he worked for, so maybe it's best he move on. I sincerely hope he finds a job soon. I understand what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck and cannot fathom what it would be like if one of our incomes was gone all of a sudden. I'll keep your family in my thoughts. Hugs to you.

              *and thanks so much for your support with my issues while dealing with your own.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



              Comment


              • Judg and Jenn, thanks for your kind words. Just being able to talk (write) about it helps, and to have people be supportive makes it even better. Thank you.

                Tried a cold bath today. It was...very refreshing! And that was at 82 degrees. I can't imagine what 65 degrees would feel like.

                A good interview for my Honey today, but he is purposely trying not to be hopeful. Just neutral. What does it say about the human spirit that we are so ready to be hopeful? Something good, I am sure.

                Had bad food items today, but also some cauliflower, watermelon, avocado and blueberries, so I feel I am getting a good shot of vitamins.

                Oh, yes, the pepper pot soup. It was fine, but really, I couldn't even tell what the tripe tasted like. It just became one with the other ingredients. Might need to try something else before I know if I like tripe. My Honey scarfed it down. The girls ate the regulation bowl and that was it. So...okay, but not good enough to make again.

                Comment


                • Sorry the soup didn't turn out like you had hoped. Such a bummer with so much stress going on. On a brighter note, the Cowboys just beat the 2012 Super Bowl Champs.

                  *This chick's a Cowboys fan to the core*
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Sabine View Post
                    Ever since 2002 we have been pretty much living paycheck to paycheck after my Honey had a two-year period of unemployment, and we went through most of our savings. I had two miscarriages and a cancer scare right around then, as well, and I am sure it affected how I dealt with handling stress. Honey has had jobs since, but always on contract, and even when the amount went up, it seemed so did our living expenses, as we began hitting the years with teenagers and then college-goers. And then when the economy went south a couple of years ago, so did his pay rate. We've never been able to build our cushion back up.

                    And now he's being let go from a position that he's done great at, but the company is outsourcing to cheaper employees. He's spent the last six months training his replacement and replacements for others in the department who bailed as fast as they could when they saw what was happening. He shows up and is conscientious, won't even take recruiter calls 'on company time', and they are screwing him to the wall. It kills me to see how it hurts him.

                    (And as a side note, the poor workers they have outsourced to! They are on a low salary, and are on call 24 hours a day. No comp time for when they are up until 3am working an issue, and they better be there at 8 the next morning, or there will be hell to pay. I know it is better than what they can make in their country, but it is a painful thing to see. What kind of an example of America is this? It is so exploitive(sp?), it makes me ashamed.)

                    Although we will not be out on our butts in a month, I can see that any unemployment longer than a month will have me doing things like selling everything at a garage sale, asking relatives for money, telling our kids 'No, no, no.' I am not good at 'no'.

                    We moved a lot when I was a kid, always renting, and owning our home is VERY IMPORTANT to me. I am worrying about making the mortgage, having to think for the first time, 'how long does it take before they do foreclosure?' I hate it, I hate it!

                    I feel very shaky this morning. Just scared. I know it will pass, but it sure is freaking me out right now. Trying to distract myself with chores (and now, internet) but I am finding it very hard to focus. It is good to vent.
                    I feel your pain. My world turned upside down in 2002. Since that time I have been in financial turmoil-- Something I've dealt with my whole life as I began working( picking berries & beans) to buy my own clothes at age 8.

                    Comment


                    • The current state of the working world is very sucky, IMHO. ("Sucky" is actually a highly technical term.) As someone who had to retrain and find a new career in my 40's, I can relate. Such stress and such regret. If only we still lived in a working world where we could be rewarded for our hard work and loyalty! I am sending prayers and good thoughts your way.
                      My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                      "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                      Comment


                      • Sorry for all the stress.

                        My husband got his RN at age 50. He is an excellent nurse, but I wonder if employers look at his age and turn away. Nurse jobs are plentiful, but he has not gotten calls on his application. He is getting down on himself. I know because he isn't interested in sex. He is also getting a little snippy with me. He says things like, "I know you don't think I do anything around here." He pretends to be joking, but...

                        Hang in there.
                        Primal since 9/24/2010
                        "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                        Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                        MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                        Comment


                        • Marcadav, Siobhan, Pebbles- thanks for your kind words. Is it better or worse that so many people are going through the same thing? Sympathy to be had, but I hate thinking of others feeling this way too.

                          Man, sometimes life is just HARD!

                          My Honey referred to himself as 'an unemployed bum' for the first time this morning. In a joking way, but he was kidding on the square. And this is while he is still working. He is already seeing himself as unemployed, just because he knows it is coming. I feel so bad for him.

                          When things go badly, I see it as my job to be the cheerleader. It is tiring, too, though, in its own way. I hope I am up to doing it up right. I remember after his last joblessness period (7 months) I felt exhausted mentally and spiritually.

                          I hear you about the age thing, too. He is 53. Yesterday he told me he saw a picture that some friends had taken while they were doing archery, and he said, 'who's that silver-haired guy'. It was him. He hadn't realized his hair had changed so much, and it gave him a shock. Coupled with a super-young recruiter last week, and I think he is starting to feel OLD. Which is so different from EXPERIENCED in his mind.

                          Made some almond meal-banana muffins this morning using a different recipe, and they flopped. Must find my original recipe.

                          Six things I am grateful for right now:

                          Two dachshunds that love to cuddle up with me.
                          Two daughters who will wrestle a dachshund into submission and feed her liverwurst to distract her so I can do some nail-clipping.
                          Indoor plumbing. I can get clean water anytime I want, as much as I want.
                          Having an emergency glow-in-the-dark condom in our bedroom to joke about with my Honey.
                          Being able to pick up things from the floor with my toes.
                          My son wanting to bring his girlfriend home for a visit at Christmas.

                          Comment


                          • Great things to be thankful for. Indoor plumbing was rather random, but valid nonetheless.
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                            Comment


                            • Just read the issue you and your husband are dealing with. Wow, that company must be run by a bunch of giant douchebags. I feel your pain and can relate to your stress. What I've learned through all my ordeal is that as long as my family is all together then nothing else really matters that much. You all have each other and will get each other through it. I will say this, the way your husband is handling it speaks volumes about his character(I don't think I could stay and train the guy that was there to replace me). People like that always get picked up, so I wouldn't worry too much.
                              My blog: My Primal Adventure

                              "I've come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubble gum."

                              Comment


                              • Thanks, Skink, I hope so. He just got turned down ten minutes ago by the people he interviewed with yesterday, though, so I'm feeling glum. Which is nothing to how he is feeling. I think it is extra hard when he feels the interview went well, and still they say 'no'. At least he is telling me about it when it happens, and not brooding on it by himself all day. But he's got to work extra today to make up for the time he took off yesterday to go interview, so he's got a long afternoon of glumness ahead. Hope he can shake it off a little. With what you went through, I'm sure you know exactly how he feels.

                                Here's to bouncing back!

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