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Show, then aid - Sabine

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Sabine View Post
    Demuralist had remarked on Pebbles' Bedrock Journal that she felt one of the reasons she had been able to stop bingeing was having a long list of go-to activities that she could do when the urge to eat-eat-eat came on her.

    Two points of thought for me there. One, what would be on my list (started one in the evening), and two, is the desire to binge so physically separate from hunger, that activity can distract us? What kind of longing is in our soul, that we are stuffing down with food? Very philisophical musings ensued, but I need to save them for another time.
    I found that taking sugar sources out of my diet and pretty much only eating meat and vegetables was a huge overeating deterrent in itself. Made a BIG difference and made eating healthy and in the right amounts a lot easier. But it doesn't completely free you of psychological triggers for snacking, so I like the go-to list idea. Also, don't hang out in your kitchen. Seems like a duuuuh idea but sometimes I'm working on my laptop at the dinner table and I notice I'm always more tempted to snack when I'm working there. If I'm in the living room engrossed in internet research, writing and reading, I can go long hours without wanting to eat. Hm, what would my go-to list be?

    1. Shooting hoops
    2. Reading
    3. Taking a walk
    4. Organizing something
    5. Calling up a friend
    6. Taking care of planned exercise for the day

    On the heartburn issue, sometimes it really can be a combination of things. Goulash is nightshade central too with the paprika, bell peppers and tomatoes, so you might want to observe your sensitivity to those vegetables/fruits. I've found that a lot of my reflux was mostly tied to too much gas caused by something I ate. I got concerned I had a FODMAP problem, and maybe I do to some extent. But one thing for sure has made a difference - not eating onions! Especially the white ones. Through some careful monitoring of what I was eating, I realized those onions didn't just produce a little gas, but a lot in my case. That kind of pressure in the gut can actually force things up higher into your esophagus.
    Starting weight: 225
    Current weight: 195
    Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
    Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
    My Primal Journey

    Created by - Nutrition Facts For Foods


    • #17
      Lex, thanks for the insights.
      I had to smile at your #4. I love organizing things, too. Although I have found that as I have eaten /lived more primally, I have gotten more focused on various situations in my life, one of which is my CLUTTER! Since last August my house has gotten much more organized and stream-lined. I can actually see that in a couple of years, there will be nothing left to organize. Gasp! I'll have to make it my job then, and go out to organize others, as I get a lot of satisfaction from it.
      My main thought on the heartburn, which has only happened in the last year or so, is that I have damaged my system enough that things which previously were no problem, now are. So my main strategy, is to heal up, by changing the whole picture of how I eat. Maybe someday whatever is setting me off now, won't. Very reasonable, but surprisingly hard for me to remember when I am feeling the pain, and letting my imagination go wild. My first thought is usually: heart attack! Followed by: cancer!
      Writing it down, I see how silly it is, but in the moment, not so much. Something to gradually get over, I guess.
      I am hoping a year from now I will look back, and find it hard to remember when I last had some heartburn.


      • #18
        Planning to Succeed

        This afternoon I am getting ready for a gathering of friends at my house. We meet once a month, alternating homes. Since going primal, I have mostly brought my dinner with me, as the usual fare is pizza, salad, and dessert. Awesome desserts! I have learned to bring something of my own, dessert-wise also, even if I KNOW I will not be hungry after dinner. It is still hard to see someone else eating chocolate brownie sundaes, and I'm sitting there with nothing. If I can eat some sweetened cream with berries, I don't get the emotional deprivation.

        Tonight is at my house, and I am not having pizza. The last time I got some (for my honey, yeah, right) I ate some and bitterly regretted it, physically.

        The menu tonight is:
        Tyson's tequila lime chicken wings (processed, but not too bad. We are a large crowd and I can't afford to do it all from scratch)
        Broccoli salad (also from Costco, with a sweet dressing, but everything else good)
        Baked potatoes(not for me- easy to pass up) with all the fixings
        Raspberries with slightly sweetened whipping cream

        I feel good that I am preparing, and not saying, 'Oh, well, just this once.' I can find an excuse to say that every week, and though any individual indulgence is not so bad, getting back on track is very difficult for me. One meal becomes one day, one week...
        Last edited by Sabine; 03-03-2012, 05:14 AM. Reason: Punctuation for clarity


        • #19

          Did it!

          I ate what I planned, nothing more, felt good, and didn't have to think about it.

          And had a great time with my friends. That has to be primal, too, right? Sitting in a circle, talking and laughing. A wonderful form of play.

          The sleep is still off, as I stayed up late, having a good time, but I will get back on track with that tonight.

          Here's yesterday:
          Up at 5:45
          8:30 2 bacon
          3 eggs scrambled in
          1 leftover artichoke with
          homemade mayo (I am still jazzed that I finally made some!)

          1:30 salmon burger with
          1/2 avocado
          2 C mixed veges-
          pea pods
          water chestnut, sauteed with
          olive oil and oregano

          7:00 9 chicken wings
          homemade buttermilk ranch dressing
          1 C broccoli salad with
          sweet dressing (didn't even look at the ingredients: I knew it would be bad)

          9:00 raspberries in
          a small amount of sugar-free gelatin
          whipping cream with
          a small amount of sugar-free cheesecake pudding mix

          An 80/20 day for sure, primally, with those artificial sweeteners and thickeners. But plenty of good protein, fat, and veges. I feel happy about it. And my friends loved the food. Only, not enough potatoes for my honey, as the pan was too small. I'll have to make him a special potato feast with the leftovers tonight.

          Bed at 10:45

          I did wake up hungry this morning, I think from the combination of late eating, and the sweeteners, so I'm off to rustle up some eggs and veges.


          • #20
            Nom nom - looks like it was a tasty day. Good on sticking to your guns! Are your sugar-free desserts made with stevia?
            Starting weight: 225
            Current weight: 195
            Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
            Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
            My Primal Journey

            Created by - Nutrition Facts For Foods


            • #21
              Uber-neolithic sweeteners

              Sadly, the sweeteners were straight out of the jello box. Another thing I did not even look at, knowing it was not primal. I do know how to make from-scratch primal desserts, but none of my friends are primal, and the palate really is different. What I find to be way too sweet now, is just right for them. And just right for me: well, the last thing I want to see when I give my friends dessert is a pucker and a forced smile.

              So I poured sugar-free raspberry jello over a big pile of frozen organic raspberries, just enough to hold them all together. A scoop of that in a small bowl, topped with whipped cream (two cups of heavy whipping cream with 2 T of sugar-free cheesecake pudding mix). Top THAT with half a dozen fresh raspberries. Worth the vague jitters I have had today. Knowing I would be feeling antsy, and like I just wanted to put something in my mouth, made it easier to deal with the feeling. Granted, this does not always work. But today I was strong. I was going to see a movie ('Gone'- really enjoyed it) and was determined to eat nothing at the theater. Before I left I had a small Liquid Fat Bomb. I was able to smell the popcorn without wanting any. Two points for me.

              And now, flush with success, I am going to bed ON TIME!

              Night, night.


              • #22
                When I got on forums this morning, my eye was caught by a post in the meet and greet section. The title was 'I'm so discouraged' posted by Michelle Gray a couple of weeks ago. I clicked, because that is an emotion I relate to.

                For me, discouragement sweeps in and knocks me over. No slow build, and me being stoic. I am going along, doing fine, then it seems as if suddenly I realize, 'I am not fine', I've just been on auto-pilot. And as soon as that realization hits, bam, the emotion hits me as well, and well, I usually fall.

                So, as I am reading the posts, I thought about my yesterday. I had eaten too late on Friday (on purpose), and items which made me feel on the edge yesterday(Saturday). But even though I felt on edge, and not the 'good' that I associate with primal, I acknowledged it to myself. A few times I even said, 'this will pass, don't worry'.

                Is this how I should fight discouragement? Don't let myself be on auto-pilot, but sit up and take a look at my emotions? Something for me to think about.

                Up at 6:00
                7:50 2 egg omelette(backyard chicken eggs, yay!) with
                6 mushrooms and 1 T green onions sauteed in

                1:15 1 1/2 C mixed greens (canned, sadly)
                many mussels in
                butter and garlic
                1 C whipping cream with
                sugar-free pudding mix (leftovers from Friday night)

                3:45 apple
                almond butter

                5:00 small liquid fat bomb- made the right way
                2 oz cream
                2 oz coconut milk
                1 egg
                1 pkt stevia
                1 t vanilla

                Bed at 9:30

                Did a lot of jottings about emotions and physical symptoms in my paper journal, which I won't go into here. But I'm pleased I noted them down. Maybe I am getting more mindful.

                Dozing with my honey this morning, I thought about saying, 'let's go to Denny's'. We used to go every weekend, and it seemed like that kind of morning. Then I thought about how pale yellow their eggs are, and thought of the delicious orange-yolked ones in my fridge. Much better to stay at home.

                Eggs and baccy, here I come!


                • #23
                  I know the urge to go out and "celebrate" with a breakfast with the family - and just have some fun. I love that you resisted it too. I've been working on rewiring those thoughts and staying home to my own chicken eggs and farm raised meats, and organic veges. Most resaurants don't serve the quality of food that we eat at home and then I'm disappointed in the end. Now I make a nice breakfast at home and plan an outing to the park or to walk the dogs. It's better for everyone and I'm settingup a different mind set for "fun" that the kids will remember when they grow up and have similar urges.


                  • #24
                    My love affair with Potatoes

                    My family comes from Germany, so growing up, we had potatoes for dinner every night. Every night.

                    I loved them, but still, when I left for college, I swore, no more potatoes.

                    Once I was living with my boyfriend a few years later, though, I took up with potatoes again. Especially when I fell for the low-fat philosophy. Potatoes were good for you, with hardly any of that pesky fat.

                    I remember one dish I made: as many potatoes as I could boil in my big pot, peeled, and mixed with condensed cream of celery soup. I would eat, and eat, and eat until I was ready to pop, it was so good. And I fed it to my kids, too.

                    Then I fell into low-carb. No more potatoes because of their carb-count. Then I read 'Neanaderthin'. Definitely no more potatoes, because they were something you couldn't eat raw.

                    I fell off that wagon a few dozen times, but I had mostly given up potatoes. Now I eat them a few times a year: at Christmas and Fourth of July, when I make our family-recipe potato salad. A baked potato once or twice at a restaurant.

                    So, why, yesterday, did this catch my eye?

                    Potato starch.

                    In a little box next to the baking soda and specialty flours.

                    I bought some, and used it to thicken the gravy in my shepherd's pie tonight. Am I rationalizing that it is better than wheat? What the heck is going on here?

                    Oh, potatoes, why can't I quit you?


                    • #25
                      Hi Sabine, Glad I found your journal. I like your writing style. I subscribed and am now stalking you. Bwahahahaha
                      Keep up the good work.
                      Primal since 9/24/2010
                      "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                      Created by - Free Weight Loss Tools
                      MFP username: MDAPebbles67


                      • #26
                        Dear Pebbles,
                        Thanks for stopping by. It is always fun to see that someone else has looked at my journal. Guess I am an exhibitionist at heart, allbeit, a shy one. See you back at your place! (Bedrock Journal, for anyone who doesn't know. Pebbles has a great journal that I've learned a lot from.)


                        • #27
                          No twitches today

                          Well, whatever twitchiness my late eating and sweeteners on Friday gave me Saturday, was gone yesterday. Yay!

                          Up at 6:45 (9+ hours)

                          8:10 2 1/2 bacon
                          3 eggs scrambled in
                          coconut oil
                          1 grilled tomato

                          1:00 salmon burger with
                          artichoke mayo
                          mixed veges- broccoli, water chestnut, carrot, peapods, dill
                          olive oil
                          lettuce with
                          ranch buttermilk dressing

                          5:50 shepherd's pie, made with
                          carrot, celery, red onion, garlic
                          thyme, marjoram
                          potato starch (!)
                          butter, olive oil, bacon grease (the triumvirate!)

                          7:15 blueberries
                          coconut cream

                          Bed at 9:30

                          Coconut cream has recently entered our lives, and my daughters love it as much as I do. So glad I can sneak a healthy fat into them. They have watched 'Fathead' and are not believers in the lipid hypothesis, but since the outside world constantly bombards with the low-fat message, I worry.

                          We make it by putting the can of coconut milk in the fridge for a few hours before opening. Then we scrape out all the 'risen' cream, and leave the 'whey' behind. Sometimes I use that in curries, sometimes it just gets tossed.


                          • #28
                            Drooping in a different direction

                            This morning I made some tucks in my jeans. They've been drooping down below my belly swell (my, how charming that sounds) and generally driving me crazy. So I sat down and did the tricky sewing through stacked layers of denim, and took them in. Now the waist is sitting up where it should, and snug, but not tight, around me.


                            I am a soft and squishy person at this point in my life. Pants that fit around my waist mean a muffin-top. There is just no getting around it. Not a gourmet muffin, that looks like a balboa tree, but still, a definite roll. If I stand up straight AND suck in, I look fine. But thirty seconds of that is about all I can stand.

                            I won't be tucking in my shirts any time soon.


                            • #29
                              I am a self described coconut cream junkie!!!! If you can get your hands on some coconut cream concentrate it will make you swoon! I make "candy" out of it since it is solid at room temperature. Melt it down, add stevia, nuts, vanilla, chocolate, or whatever youre craving, pour it onto a cookie sheet and then let it harden in the fridge. It it like eating a candy bar.
                              *I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.*
                              Marilyn Monroe


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Sabine View Post
                                All the regular reasons to start my own journal, but this is what got me going:

                                I've been reading other journals, for inspiration, and to get my primal fix, to help keep me on track. One poster was lamenting that 'she didn't have a death wish, so why was she acting/eating like she did.' I was at the end of a day of just that kind of behavior. Having more of the symptoms that make me wonder if I'm headed for a heart attack, or pancreatic cancer, or stroke. All my fears just running wild.

                                And it is directly attributable to how I eat. When I am eating primally, I feel good. Within a day or two of 'slipping', I feel like crap.

                                And yet, I keep slipping.

                                Reading that phrase, I wondered, do I have a death wish? Yes or no, I don't want to be the kind of person who does. Or who acts like they do. Every bit of accountability I can wring out of myself, well, I just have to.

                                Last month I went to a workshop on play that a friend was presenting. One of the exercises was to write your novel's plot as a haiku. And it was really fun.

                                So, I'm staring at that phrase, 'death wish'. If it is strong enough to motivate me to start my journal, maybe it would be good to have it as my focus, my title. But I believe in the premise that your brain does not comprehend negatives. Every time I looked at 'no Death Wish', my brain would analyze it as 'Death Wish.'

                                Not the effect I am going for.

                                So I started anagraming, and came up with 'show then aid'. That's a keeper, because it plays into my fantasy, common to many, I think, that I can lose weight, be healthy, and help others by my example. Plus, it has that little writerly tinge of 'show, don't tell'. No one wants to take advice from someone who is still fat and unhealthy. Which is why I keep quiet about how I have been eating. Though I feel good, and lose weight when I am doing it, I have had too many relapses to be anything but an example for how turning back to sugars will screw you up.

                                So, my journal. A way for me to show myself what I am doing, so I can learn how to do it. And have the goal of someday showing others how it is done.
                                New to MDA. Looking through the journals, your title jumped out at me b/c I'm in the same sort of boat. I have people all around me who eat as if they have a death wish (as I also tend to eat) and I'm always preaching that they should eat differently, etc, follow this plan to alleviate their symptoms (I know someone with fibromyalgia), etc., all the while I'm stuffing my face with cookies and Mt. Dew.

                                No one was taking me seriously, so I just shut my mouth. Now I'm changing my tune and instead of TELLING I'll be SHOWING how great it can be to eat like our evolutionary ancestors. No more preaching... I'll show then aid them by providing the same materials I used to reach this breakthrough!

                                Thank you for your journal. I will be enjoying it.
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)