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  • 1 day post-treatment, I realized I had the first eye twitch since (I think) the first day of treatment. Didn't come back yesterday, and didn't last long. Dunno what's up there, b/c the eye twitch was driving me NUTS for like a month pre-Tx.

    Same day, I noticed that my right eye had a dark line tracing the under-eye circle, almost bad enough to look like a recovering black eye, and the left eye didn't. Weird.

    Day 1 post-tx, I had AM energy, but extreme sleepiness all PM.
    Day 2 post-tx, I had no energy, but less sleepiness most of the day ... but still very, very sleepy late PM. Tried to nap, but couldn't, but still couldn't get out of bed after my skype with Dr. D (which I did sitting on the bed).

    Slept 10.5, 9.5+, 10.5 hrs in the three days since Tx. Hopefully I'll catch up on sleep soon!

    My gut could be flattened for the first 2 days, but not as well this morning. I ate coconut-ginger mussels, sea scallops, butternut squash w/ butter, brisket w/ (no gluten) au jus, a bit of mashed potatoes (hmm, that one gives my stomach a trace of giddiness to think about, but it might be a flutter of guilt, since I'm not sure what veg carbs are "safe" for me right now, and which aren't), beets & carrots, brussels sprouts, all at a restaurant. All was allegedly GF, DF (except butter), and no sweeteners.

    L even better. (CD6)

    I felt fairly blase' toward the sweet stuff on the menu. Nice feeling.

    I'm going to try a format the next month that will help me keep track of stuff for DrD even while I'm on the road next week.

    Face less puffy today, nose not really puffy (but a bit pink), face still fairly round. (My face is naturally heart shaped.)
    Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-18-2014, 08:51 AM.
    5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
    Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
    Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
    ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

    Comment


    • AM Energy: 4
      AM Mood: 5 (was able to try on ski clothes w/o utter discouragement that I can't wear half of them & have to buy more)
      B: 3oz ground beef, 3 eggs, 1T butter
      Noon Energy: 4
      PM Mood: 4 - "present"
      L: 3oz roast beef, 2T guacamole, "mousse" of 1 can coco cream, 2T cocoa powder, and 1 banana
      D: Jason's Deli salad (avoiding wheat, dairy, sweeteners). Tiny bit of nuts. Pineapple spear, happy to stop at one instead of eating the whole container as usual
      PM Energy: 3 (very sleepy by 8:30)
      PM Mood: 4

      Insert cravings, odd feelings, comments where appropriate.



      TEMPLATE
      AM Energy:
      AM Mood:
      B:
      Noon Energy:
      PM Mood:
      L:
      D:
      PM Energy:
      PM Mood:

      Insert cravings, odd feelings, comments where appropriate.
      Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-18-2014, 06:56 PM.
      5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
      Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
      Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
      Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
      ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

      Comment


      • AM Energy: 4
        AM Mood: 4
        B: 3oz grd bf, 3 eggs, 1T butter
        Noon Energy: 4. Getting very sleepy around 3:30, and drained thinking of all that will be needed from me at m y friend's mother's funeral tonight
        PM Mood: 3 (drained after keeping Booger still during Mass)
        L: 3oz rst bf, 1-2T guac, 1 big pineapple spear
        D: salsa pork (dunno if there was omething else in it), salsa, salad, avocado
        PM Energy:4
        PM Mood:5

        Something has brought bloating back. Three days of restaurants, I guess, but I really did my best to choose well. I don't think I'll ever stay unbloated so long as I don't make every single bite I eat. And as I recall, even doing that was no guarantee.
        Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-20-2014, 04:09 PM.
        5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
        Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
        Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
        Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
        ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

        Comment


        • AM Energy: 4
          AM Mood: 4
          B: (noon)leftover salsa pork & veggies
          Noon Energy: 4
          PM Mood: 5 - smiling while teaching school for the first time in many months
          L: 1 jar coco kefir, 1T cocoa powder, 1 banana
          D: pork chop, salad, sauteed veggies
          PM Energy: 4+
          PM Mood: 5+

          I really am not craving anymore. Not even tart fruit. Praise God.

          It took me a long time to get up and go do school, but once I started, I enjoyed it. Again I'm putting off finishing it, b/c I don't relish the thought of the battle it will take to get my borderline ODD son started with me.

          This is the first time I've ever given up sugar and not lost a ton of at least water weight in the first two weeks. Even the 2-4lb I lost over the 10 days in treatment are gone now, which makes little sense, since I'm not even remotely overeating and the bloating didn't disappear till near the end, and it's the only thing that's back, plus my measurements on mid-lower body are down.

          I wish it would start falling off (not that it ever has). I can't fit in my ski clothes.
          Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-20-2014, 08:28 PM.
          5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
          Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
          Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
          Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
          ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

          Comment


          • AM Energy: 4**
            AM Mood: 5
            B: 3oz grd beef, 3eggs, 1T butter
            Noon Energy: 4
            Noon Mood: 5
            L: 4ish oz grd bf, 1T olive oil, cinnamon, carrot, apple
            D:
            PM Energy:
            PM Mood:

            **Took close to an hour to get to sleep. I felt a little mind-spinny, but it was mostly physical. Little itches here and there, and a strange feeling like something scratchy was progressing up my throat and through to my ears. Don't wanna think about what that could have been! I resolved to take a detox bath in the morning, and did (4C baking soda). I had lots of dreams and lots of little wakenings all night, and finally got out of bed after (I think) 9.5hrs sleep).

            Is the reason that cravings have gotten better (and other things continued to improve) every day since I finished treatment that it finally gave the oral AA's a chance at working (taking me closer to the top of the pit)?

            2pm and I'm sleepy.
            5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
            Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
            Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
            Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
            ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

            Comment


            • AM Energy: 5
              AM Mood: 5+
              B: 3oz grd bf, 3eggs, 1Tbutter
              Noon Energy: 4+
              Noon Mood: 5
              L: 5pm - avocado, roast beef, pineapple spears (a tiny bit compulsive/giddy), sweet potato w/ butter & cinnamon
              D:
              PM Energy: 4-
              PM Mood: 4

              Today's interesting fact: Every January 22, I play trumpet for a silent march remembering the women and children impacted by Roe v Wade. The last few years, no matter how simple I keep my participation (I skip the Mass, the lunch, and most of the talks now), I am utterly drained when done, even though all I do is walk about a mile, play a few minutes, then leave.

              Today, I was not drained. I was fine, I was cheerful, I was not having problems dealing with people who made decisions I strongly opposed.

              Then I got pulled over on the way home, nearly ran out of gas, and was made very late to my son's dr appt. That's when I got drained. But it took all that, and even then, I wasn't yelling and ballistic. I was able to see v ery objectively the stresses piling up on me, realize that I was feeling very stressed, and make jokes about how suddenly I hated everything around me.

              That's a tremendous improvement.

              I got home, vegetated for an hour and a half, and I'm recovered pretty well. The kids started fighting, and after a brief yell, I was able to apologize to them quickly and talk to them, even while doling out appropriate consequences.

              I do still feel how I instantly feel tense when someone starts crying unreasonably, fighting, or yelling.

              Overall, I'm very encouraged by how the stresses of today played out.
              5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
              Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
              Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
              Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
              ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

              Comment


              • AM Energy: 4-
                AM Mood: 4- (distinctly down from yesterday)
                B: grd bf, ssg, butter
                Noon Energy: ?
                Noon Mood: ?
                L: rst bf, guac, pineapple spear
                Snack: 1.5C Fage whole, 1/8C cashews. First dairy in 2.5 weeks. Dying to eat protein, but long time till dinner could be ready
                D: No appetite. Grumpy as heck. Pork chop, bits of greens till it nearly made me puke, more salad
                PM Energy: 4
                PM Mood: 3-

                I just found myself saying and thinking two things I haven't said or thought in a long while. 1 - Stop fighting; you're giving me a headache. 2 - Don't want to do anything, just want to sit here and do nothing, hate the world.

                God, please don't let it be the dairy. It's so freaking hard to be vigilant about dairy.
                Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-23-2014, 07:21 PM.
                5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                Comment


                • Haven't been on here in awhile but wanted to check in on you after you popped into my head as I"m dealing with FODmaps or something. I am so sorry to see the huge struggle you have been having!! I will be praying for you and hope things start looking up soon!

                  Comment


                  • Hope you get the FODMAPs question worked out! Things are definitely looking up since my clinical treatment for sugar addiction.

                    Last week I was skiing. So the highlights from that are:
                    *No trouble avoiding overt sweets. Had some trouble avoiding covert towards the end of the week primarily because of lack of food options.
                    *"Forgot" that my doc & I both concluded (him through muscle testing) that corn is an "absolutely no" for me, and had cornbread the 2nd-to-last day. Ate it somewhat compulsively, but was able to shut it off reasonable. Not sure if that is what led to tart concentrated fruit cravings that evening and the next afternoon, or if a subtle rise in minor cravings led to the "forgetting" in the first place. Major bloating with the corn.
                    *No cravings trouble since then, but feel my baseline level of cravings is just slightly higher than "none."
                    *Twice had free desserts at restaurants given to me, one was for my birthday and the other was because of a chef mess-up and included my three very favorite desserts prepared extremely well, and I just didn't care. My first thought was, "That will wreck my life," not, "That looks SO good." (Although as I tell this story, I'm having a slightly weird feeling in my gut, but it might be b/c I'm in the clinic chair getting my booster treatment, which makes my whole body feel weird!)
                    *Felt more scared and timid on the slopes than ever before. Had more leg and lung exhaustion than ever before. I've skiied at this weight and lack of fitness before without anything like this.
                    *No headaches all week, only one or two slight mood reversals and mornings were hard to get going and start enjoying the skiing. Since I"ve been home, I've already had one or two headaches.
                    *Skin went super soft, then not, now super soft again since last night.
                    *Had a decent amount of cheese & sour cream without any obvious side effects. Had dig enz and/or HCl every (or nearly every) time.
                    *Ate a lot, as I usually do skiing, but usually I lose weight doing it. This time I gained 3-4lb that are now back off. Still no net loss since starting treatment, or at most, 2lb in 1 month.

                    2 days till I can get my 30 day chip, and it has been almost entirely effort-free.
                    5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                    Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                    Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                    Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                    ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                    Comment


                    • For yesterday

                      AM Energy: 3.5

                      AM Mood: 2. Went ballistic with headache and intolerance of disobedience. Couldn't stop yelling.
                      B:grd bf & ssg
                      Noon Energy:
                      Noon Mood:
                      L: cant remember
                      D:beef jerky at 4:30 (had to eat), then ppork chopp + carrots & shrooms at 7:30
                      PM Energy: 3.5
                      PM Mood:5

                      For today

                      Busy dreams all night, wasn't sure I'd be able to get to sleep just before bed, when I was hit with the old no-L nausea & felt like my mind was freezing with the feeling of being overwhelmed with my tasks & burdens, but I got to sleep quickly, although the last hour I kept waking, afraid I'd miss getting up for my booster this morning.

                      AM Energy: 4.5
                      AM Mood: 4
                      B: 3 eggs in 1+T butter, 2-3 oz elk & bison steak
                      Noon Energy:
                      PM Mood:
                      L:
                      D:
                      PM Energy:
                      PM Mood:
                      5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                      Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                      Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                      Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                      ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                      Comment


                      • Gah, keep forgetting to ppost food.

                        Belly had been getting flatter and flatter, down to 162.75, but after eating salsa, beef w/ homemade BBQ rub, TJ's guac, & pineapple spears, it was huge again. Huge. Up to 165.5 in the morning. 2.75lb!

                        I ate the same things today b/c they were still here needing to be eaten. Possible culprits: rub, salsa, guac, combination of meat & fruit ... who knows? I have to remind myself not to worry about bloating or I will end up restricting my diet too much and not be able to maintain my abstinence.

                        Despite gut bloat, my calves are actually down 1/4" more than yesterday, which was 1/4" more than last week!

                        Voice is quite clear today. Still more nose clearing needs to happen, but big improvement.

                        Hands still soft. Like so soft, almost slick. Very nice! (face and chest not quite as soft)

                        Big pimple on my chin over the last two days.

                        I went to my binge store today to get dinner stuff, and felt myself looking around, then asked God to take care of me and get me safely out and felt much stronger, then was worried about the looking around and remembered "thinking about food is not eating." No, indeed, it is not.

                        30 days binge-free today! Thank God!
                        5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                        Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                        Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                        Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                        ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                        Comment


                        • Just dropped by to see how you're doing . Wondering what my next step will be. Glad things are going well with the treatment, hope it continues.
                          Gluten intolerance and hypermobility syndrome http://www.cfids.org/pdf/joint-hypermobility-guide.pdf

                          Eat food. Mostly real. Enjoy life.

                          Health, energy, wellbeing, vitality, joy, LIFE! Health At Every Size

                          "Do not ask what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
                          Harold Whitman

                          Comment


                          • I've had nearly two months now of being nearly craving-free, effortlessly. I started to see a bit of increase for starchy veggies & tart fruits lately, but am trying to feed whatever part of that is a physical need without letting it turn into a binge. It got easier for "just one" of those to turn into too much (but easily stoppable before a true binge), but even that has tapered off some since getting my new amino acid mix.

                            Which is this: custom blend based on my blood AA profile, which showed a profound deficiency in several of the ones not focused on in Ross' book, especially alanine. Since starting that, the slight loss in cravings/stress-handling/L I had had has had a marked improvement, although there is still room for improvement.

                            In the last week, I noticed that nose/chin swelling, jowliness, bloating, and calf/wrist swelling are all separate events. I saw that the jowls went away even while I was eating too many terra chips & larabars, but came back for some reason early last week. Bloating worsened (had been much less most of the last few weeks) when I had a lot of dried pineapple, olives, and salsa in one day (and has remained several days). Next week, I'll try them one at a time to see if it's one in particular, or a certain amount, or some combination. The nose/chin puffiness came back last night when I ate (100%) brown rice pasta. Definite no-no. It's uncomfortable, hideous, and makes my singing baaaaaad.

                            Constant detective work!

                            I also realized that the irritated-at-the-world feeling hasn't come back for several weeks ... until a very, very brief and mild period yesterday.

                            Doubling the custom oral AA blend starting yesterday, hoping for more improvement!
                            5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                            Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                            Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                            Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                            ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                            Comment


                            • Hi MamaGrok,

                              I very belatedly answered a question you posted on my primal journal a couple of years ago. May be irrelevant by now, but it was about ThyroGold. I'm still taking it, the smaller capsule of 150 mg, once a day first thing in the am. It raised my heart rate from 60 to 72-78 and my body temp is higher... can even go into the grocery store without bundling up like I used to. More details in my journal, if interested.

                              I never took "real" thyroid meds, just didn't want to run that gauntlet if possible. The book Hypothyroidism Type 2 by Dr. Mark Starr goes into the history of how thyroid conditions were treated prior to the so-called gold-standard TSH test. Interesting stuff, like actually paying attention to symptoms instead of just test numbers and arbitrary ranges. I'm very skeptical about endos and docs in general when it comes to these kind of conditions...the endo I contacted back then had zero interest in any dietary aspects of thyroid disease, so I didn't want to waste any time on him. Most docs seem to embrace being ignorant about nutrition...it's malpractice, if you ask me. On the other hand, I must add that my aunt's PCP volunteered recently that she didn't think people should eat wheat, so guess that's progress!
                              Late 50s, post-menopausal, low carb with some dairy, following the 5 Leptin Rules, taking ThyroGold, eating lots o' fiber and zero wheat with great results. My Primal Journal

                              Comment


                              • This is my fifth year of keeping this journal. I started out stuck at 185lb with a lot of major issues gone from going to traditional foods, but with a lot of minor issues, and some yet unknown major issues, left. Taking out the half slice of sourdough I was eating each day kick-started two years of weight loss, averaging 1/2lb/week, till I got to 135lb. I did it the right way, did it the slow way, and it stayed off - for six whole months.

                                Then the cravings that I've fought since 1997, and had finally gotten under wraps around 2008 (with protein), started beating me down again. I binged for the first time in a year. I continued about 2x/week for 2 months and gained 20lb. Then I got it under some control with amino acids, but it kicked in again and I gained 10lb over 4 months. Then I got it under more control with IV amino acids in an addiction treatment center. I haven't binged in the 5 months since, but I did find that I "needed" one serving of sweets a couple times a week (certainly way less than most people eat) for a few weeks, and I gained 10lb more in a month. Returning to liver seemed to stop the cravings for sugar. I now weigh 172lb - the most I've ever weighed while not pregnant or coming down after a pregnancy.

                                My health is a mystery. I've brought my ANA (bloodwork indicating autoimmune disease) from a solid positive to a negative, ended severe fat malabsorption, and had many other health gains at the same time that other aspects of health continue to decline. Maybe I have a progressive disease that I'm keeping so much in check that it's hard to tell I have it, and if I wasn't doing so much hard work on diet & lifestyle, I'd be incapacitated by now. At least one doctor has indicated that he thinks this is the case.

                                My energy is mostly better than it was 2 years ago, but occasionally bad again, and never great. My mood is mostly better than it was 1 year ago, but occasionally bad again, although almost always better than my energy. My cravings are mostly for tart fruit, but occasionally they make me eat stupid stuff, usually just a bite or two.

                                Overcoming any kind of obstacle requires discipline, hard work, and a good attitude. My illness takes all three of these away from me. All I have is hope & determination. And a brain, and a pocketbook, thank God.

                                I continue to try new things, keep doing what has worked so far, and pray to God for help. Maybe I'll get better; maybe I won't. But I'll try my best, and keep trying to be an inspiration to my children instead of a stumbling block, and leave the results in the hands of God.
                                5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                                Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                                Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                                Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                                ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                                Comment

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