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  • I'm half tempted to start a new journal just for a fresh start. But this one has too many important details for me to forget about, and I thin k(I hope) is at least somewhat inspiring for those on their journey, since I've certainly been blessed with a lot of progress in the last year.

    But I'm oh, so weary. So, so weary of fighting the sugar demon.

    I think I need to go watch Return of the King again.

    Where there's life, there's hope.

    Well, I still have hope. I'm just weary. ...


    Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more unto the breach!
    5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
    Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
    Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
    ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

    Comment


    • Hi! I'm a 35 year old, homeschooling mother of five who is 145-150lb and about to embark on a fresh start, now. I just finished a dried fruit binge and am going to try to beat my binge-free goal. Currently it's 3 weeks.

      I'm setting a goal for the next 30 days of having no concentrated fruit sources - NONE - and no nuts or unfermented dairy. Cheese every few days, yogurt every now and then (whole and long-fermented), butter, yes. Whole, seasonal fruit, yes. I'm doing GAPS and am going to stay with that - no potatoes for now. Let's see, that's

      GAPS minus any concentrated fruit sources. Yes, I can do that.




      Food
      B - IF. only briefly hungry, then fine.

      L - rabbit stew, bit o' mashed cauliflower, TONS of dried fruit.

      D - not really anything. Bite o'stew. Painfully full. I feel like my ribs are going to break open on the sides from trying to hold everything in my gut.

      Avoid Poisons & Trauma
      Nerp.

      Move Slowly, Lift Heavy Things, Sprint
      no, no, no

      Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
      8hrs, no, no, no

      no HCl, 1 5000mcg B12, 6000 IU D, lots and lots and lots of Mg

      My HCl came in today, thanks be to God! So now I can have my HCl, B12, Mg, & D and keep my food clean and see if we can make some headway with this gut and fatigue thing.
      Last edited by MamaGrok; 04-21-2011, 06:22 PM.
      5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
      Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
      Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
      Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
      ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

      Comment


      • Yes it is inspiring and helpful!! You have made amazing progress!

        I am sure this fresh start will see more amazing progress in healing and reaching optimum health over the coming months as well
        Bee
        Newly primal mama. Taking my family along on the walk to a healthy, strong and happy primal life.
        Losing fat, building strength, having fun.
        My journal is here (please ignore my excessive use of exclamation points and smilies, I just can't help myself! )

        Comment


        • I was going to make this post about how wonderful and meditative my Good Friday was (and it was), and how ready I was to move on (and I was), but then I gobbled down a bunch of dried fruit again today. Not as much, but gah. Feeling like crap again, even after 11hrs sleep last night (boy did I need to catch up from a few weeks of deprivation).

          That's okay, my official new start isn't set to begin until after Easter Sunday, anyway.

          I was thrilled, though, with how easy it is to fast whn you aren't relying on carbs. Good Fridays in the past have been horrible, barely able to abstain from snacks, let alone meals. Yesterday, though, I just decided not to eat breakfast or lunch, and it was super easy. Love primal!
          5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
          Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
          Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
          Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
          ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

          Comment


          • GAPS minus any concentrated fruit sources. Yes, I can do that.


            148

            Food
            B - IF

            L - 3 eggs, probably 2-3C of dried fruit & cashews

            D -

            Avoid Poisons & Trauma

            Move Slowly, Lift Heavy Things, Sprint
            no, no, no

            Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
            almost 11hrs but need a nap.

            no HCl, 1 5000mcg B12, 6000 IU D, lots and lots and lots of Mg

            My HCl came in today, thanks be to God! So now I can have my HCl, B12, Mg, & D and keep my food clean and see if we can make some headway with this gut and fatigue thing.
            5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
            Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
            Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
            Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
            ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

            Comment


            • 12 hours binge-free.

              was 147 yesterday
              Food
              B - 3 eggs in 1C CO

              L - rabbit stew, garlicky lamb picked off leg bone, green beans in lard. forgot HCl until after lunch, big bloat.

              S - I could have sworn I put this in earlier? Easter cake (=navy beans, butter, CO, cashews, dates, carrots). All gone. The end.

              D - pork belly (w/ a sweet sauce ), peas, grits, salad, wee bitof goat cheese. Forgot my HCl again.

              Avoid Poisons & Trauma
              no - dinner out. Yes.

              Move Slowly, Lift Heavy Things, Sprint
              housework + nice brisk hike, no, yes up hill on the trail full speed!

              Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
              7.5hrs, 25m, no, yes good convo w/ dh.

              6 HCl, 1 5000mcg B12, 6000 IU D, Mg
              Last edited by MamaGrok; 04-25-2011, 07:15 PM.
              5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
              Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
              Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
              Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
              ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

              Comment


              • 1 day binge-free.

                150. Good grief. I am stubborn; I am NOT updating my siggie with negative progress yet! GIve it another week...
                Food
                B - 3 eggs in CO

                L - roast beef, green beans in lard (delicious!)

                D - hamburger patty

                S - starved hours later: Hebrew National "Jumbo" dog and a few roasted peanutsAvoid Poisons & Trauma
                probably not int he ballpark food!, yes

                Move Slowly, Lift Heavy Things, Sprint
                housework + walking to ballgame, cast iron, no

                Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
                sleep interrupted by sick babe, meant to but got to field after dark, no, went to an NFP refresher course, so YES!

                9 HCl, 5000mcg B12, 6000 IU D, 3 rounded tsp Mg (Calm)

                I forgot to mention that about a week or so ago, I saw my face fluff up again. YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DANGER WILL RoBINSON DANgER!!!!
                Last edited by MamaGrok; 04-27-2011, 02:04 PM.
                5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                Comment


                • Great evening - we were all going to a Tech game at Turner Field, but I realized I needed to run an important errand for a friend, so decided to do that and meet the family later on in the ballgame. I got there at nearly 10pm, and was thinking I should just wait till they were out. But I realized I just wante dto get out of the car and move, even if it meant meeting them as they walked out of the park. THIS IS CRAZY STUFF! I mean, yesterday, or even this morning, or most any time in the past four years, I would have sat in the car even if it meant waiting in the dark for an hour. I just *wanted* to get up, even if the trip was pointless.

                  It really illustrates the truth, once again, of what Taubes says - now, it may not be just carbs; it may be a whole host of carb-gut interaction, but the absolute truth is, when the switch is on, I want to move and can't stand to sit; when it's off, I want to sit and can't stand to move. It has not a thing to do with laziness and everything to do with fatigue.

                  I'm just giddy (and waitingfor the other shoe to drop) that the energy is starting to come back again. I have these ggreat hopes that the HCl and/or B12 mean it's here to stay (at least for a while) this time. Fingers crossed ...
                  5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                  Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                  Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                  Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                  ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                  Comment


                  • 2 days binge-free.

                    150.
                    Food
                    B - 4 eggs in CO

                    L - smoked sausage, smoothie (strawberry, banana, CO, egg, yogurt)

                    S - some smoked sausage, smoothie. Too much, not quite a binge. Who votes I reset my timer?

                    D - pernil. yum yum yum yum yum. Brussels sprouts cooked in lard.

                    Avoid Poisons & Trauma
                    probably some crap in the sausages, yes

                    Move Slowly, Lift Heavy Things, Sprint
                    housework yes!, cast iron yes!, no

                    Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
                    9hrs, tried but no, no, no

                    10 HCl, 5000mcg B12, 6000 IU D, 3 rounded tsp Mg (Calm)
                    Last edited by MamaGrok; 04-28-2011, 07:08 PM.
                    5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                    Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                    Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                    Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                    ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by MamaGrok View Post

                      It really illustrates the truth, once again, of what Taubes says - now, it may not be just carbs; it may be a whole host of carb-gut interaction, but the absolute truth is, when the switch is on, I want to move and can't stand to sit; when it's off, I want to sit and can't stand to move. It has not a thing to do with laziness and everything to do with fatigue.

                      I'm just giddy (and waitingfor the other shoe to drop) that the energy is starting to come back again. I have these ggreat hopes that the HCl and/or B12 mean it's here to stay (at least for a while) this time. Fingers crossed ...
                      Yes!! I really truly feel this as well. I don't know what the switch is or even if it is the same for everyone but I know when my diet is good, my sleep is good, my stress is low etc then I just can't sit still. My hubbie laughs at me as I can't even sit in my computer chair, I squat on it or walk on the stepper. Days when something is "off", dragging myself across the room to get chores done is an overwhelming effort. Laziness doesn't come into it!
                      I am finding I have that energy more often than not these days. I am crossing everything for you that you find you are in the same place
                      Bee
                      Newly primal mama. Taking my family along on the walk to a healthy, strong and happy primal life.
                      Losing fat, building strength, having fun.
                      My journal is here (please ignore my excessive use of exclamation points and smilies, I just can't help myself! )

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by mummybeelee View Post
                        My hubbie laughs at me as I can't even sit in my computer chair, I squat on it or walk on the stepper. Days when something is "off", dragging myself across the room to get chores done is an overwhelming effort.
                        1 day binge-free.

                        150.
                        Food
                        B - 3 eggs in CO

                        L - missed

                        D - 5 Guys burger (no bun, w/ shrooms & b. pepp & romaine), peanuts, bit of fries (haven't had fries in 8 months, really didn't like them :P ), slice of roast beef
                        Still hungry. LOTS of homemade beef jerky, bit of yogurt cream

                        S - yogurt cream, homemade ice cream (honey & cream & eggs, etc.) - couldn't make it for the kids without falling to the temptation. . Dizzzy after this. It really wasn't too much.

                        Avoid Poisons & Trauma
                        ice cream. sunburn (very mild)

                        Move Slowly, Lift Heavy Things, Sprint
                        walked all over Frontier Days at Stone Mountain, babe on back much of the time, no.

                        Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
                        7.5hrs (tornadoes had me up till 2, slept till 9:30), lots of sun & fresh air, fun with family, talked traditional ways with some very interesting folks.

                        7 HCl, 5000mcg B12, 4000 IU D, 1svg Mg (Calm)
                        Last edited by MamaGrok; 04-28-2011, 07:26 PM.
                        5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                        Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                        Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                        Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                        ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                        Comment


                        • Okay, I spent two days camping (s'mores didn't talk to me AT ALL, kept waiting for them to and I actually felt pushed away from potato chips, interiorly speaking) and loved the fresh air, then two days hiking to and from an inn that can only be reached by five miles in the Appalachian Mountains - with all my bunchkins and my beloved. LOVED it.

                          Of course, the inn provides your food and it was ideal except ... the pound cake for dessert. Homemade, real ingredients, just looked dreamy, couldn't resist, had one slice and haven't been able to stop thinking of how I'm going to get another fix ever since then over 24hrs ago. I keep trying, with dried fruit, herbal teas, meat, meat, and more meat, but just.keep.wanting.

                          Oh well, this, too, shall pass.
                          5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                          Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                          Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                          Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                          ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by MamaGrok View Post
                            Okay, I spent two days camping (s'mores didn't talk to me AT ALL, kept waiting for them to and I actually felt pushed away from potato chips, interiorly speaking) and loved the fresh air, then two days hiking to and from an inn that can only be reached by five miles in the Appalachian Mountains - with all my bunchkins and my beloved. LOVED it.

                            Of course, the inn provides your food and it was ideal except ... the pound cake for dessert. Homemade, real ingredients, just looked dreamy, couldn't resist, had one slice and haven't been able to stop thinking of how I'm going to get another fix ever since then over 24hrs ago. I keep trying, with dried fruit, herbal teas, meat, meat, and more meat, but just.keep.wanting.

                            Oh well, this, too, shall pass.
                            Sounds amazing.

                            And hey I am on day 4 of detox today, so we can be craving buddies lol
                            Gluten intolerance and hypermobility syndrome http://www.cfids.org/pdf/joint-hypermobility-guide.pdf

                            Eat food. Mostly real. Enjoy life.

                            Health, energy, wellbeing, vitality, joy, LIFE! Health At Every Size

                            "Do not ask what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
                            Harold Whitman

                            Comment


                            • Imma need some hugs/support/strength/toughlove here. I have really been floundering for over a month now, gained nearly ten pounds, and will. not. quit. Will NOT quit!!!!!!!

                              Back to LIVING tomorrow. I mean today, when I wake up, 8 hours from now. Or ten, or whatever it takes, lol.
                              5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                              Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                              Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                              Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                              ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                              Comment


                              • Trying again! It's not like there's another option, right?

                                Food
                                B - not hungry . took detox bath.

                                L - roast beef, sausage, bite of cheese, slice of pear, 2 C smoothie (bit of fruit, lots of yogurt, lots of raw egg)

                                D - Meat cake, lol. Baked meatloaf into cake pans and frosted it with mashed potatoes (the first taters we've had in 8 months), with cheese diamonds for decorations. Looked just like a carrot cake! Brussels sprouts w/ lots of butter.

                                The thought of sweets has been grossing me out today.

                                Avoid Poisons & Trauma
                                yes, yes

                                Move Slowly, Lift Heavy Things, Sprint
                                a bit, no, no

                                Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
                                7hrs - still very very behind, not more than a smattering, no, a bit

                                6 HCl, 5000mcg B12, 6000 IU D, rounded tsp Mg (Calm)
                                Last edited by MamaGrok; 05-09-2011, 06:11 PM.
                                5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                                Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                                Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                                Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                                ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                                Comment

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