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  • 150

    But much more than weight, I have turned some kind of major corner. This week has been so interesting. Through Wed, I was energetic, cheerful, eager to do stuff, and loved the feel of living in my skin. Thursday night, I was bloated, but didn't really notice it until I also noticed that I was grumpy and didn't want to be touched. I've long wondered if the not wanting to be touched and feeling discouraged & grumpy came b/c I was irritated about being bloated, or if neither caused the other, but both were caused by something else. I think it's the latter now. The next morning, I felt great, and last night, felt GREAT, and ... like myself. Like I lost myself and found myself now again. The cheerful, happy-to-be-in-my-skin self that's been missing for so long.

    I need to look more into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I think I had it. And I think it's leaving. Good riddance!

    Seriously, I ended up crying last night, weeping for the lost years, and rejoicing that *I* am back! And praying that it stays. There have been so many emotional and physical changes this week that have nothing to do with weight - I am just so thrilled. I'm not putting it well into words, but this is just touching the surface of what's going on.

    Food
    B -3 eggs, CO

    L - deli meat, olives, mayo & horseradish

    D - beef carpaccio et al, beet salad et al, braised rabbit & kale.

    Avoid Poisons & Trauma
    I think there was flour in the rabbit sauce. I'm bloated a bit and feeling less chipper & more don't-touch-me again.

    Move Slowly, Lift Heavy, Sprint
    ~, ~, no.

    Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
    7hrs. yes. no, no.

    Did I say I didn't use my brain yesterday? I forgot that I worked through my SweetieGrok's SAT practice test with her. I'm sure algebra counts, right? LOL.
    Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-23-2011, 11:17 AM.
    5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
    Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
    Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
    Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
    ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

    Comment


    • 151.75ish. Definitely something in last night's dinner. Forgot to mention that everyone had dessert, and I didn't care! I just had a touch of the whipped cream on DaddyGrok's espresso custard and didn't even care for that. Woohoo!

      Food
      L -3 eggs, CO, sausage

      S - big incident with seeds, nuts, & dried fruit. Gah.

      D - lamb roast, buttery broccoli, buttery mashed cauliflower, salad w/ pomegranate seeds & a bunch of random non-fruity stuff

      Avoid Poisons & Trauma
      yes, ye
      Move Slowly, Lift Heavy, Sprint
      no, no, yes.

      Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
      11hrs. Seriously! no, no, no
      Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-23-2011, 08:38 PM.
      5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
      Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
      Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
      Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
      ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

      Comment


      • *sigh* a fall, but ya know what? They come further apart, and they're less and less bad. Just an hour of eating seeds, nuts, & dried fruit may leave me feeling bloated, fatigued, and grumpy, but it's not half a carton of ice cream capping off hours of sugar & bread, and THAT's a victory.

        An hour or so after finishing the goods, I started getting dizzier and dizzier, ended up feeling like I was gonna pass out. It took all of my strength to convince myself to keep standing up while I was at Mass. I just didn't feel strong enough - not weak and shaky, just not strong enough, and woozy. Crazy stuff.

        Tomorrow is a new day! They say that the saints were just the ones who fell down, and got up. And fell down, and got up. And fell down, and got up. ... There's no going back; that's for sure!
        5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
        Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
        Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
        Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
        ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

        Comment


        • Food
          B - egg drop soup (lamb broth, lots of eggs, bratwurst, peas) - weird combo, but turned out delicious!

          L - bratwurst, lots and lots of homemade yogurt, fermented apple butter, about a tablespoon? of honey.

          D - chicken & veggie soup. Oh, so soothing and yummy.

          Avoid Poisons & Trauma
          yes yes

          Move Slowly, Lift Heavy, Sprint
          eh, no, no.

          Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
          7hrs. no, no, schooling bunches of kiddies!
          Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-25-2011, 02:04 PM.
          5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
          Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
          Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
          Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
          ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

          Comment


          • Better post! I'm starting to think about fruit & sweet things...

            Food
            B - egg drop soup (lamb broth, lots of eggs, bratwurst). Sauerkraut juice.

            L - more of that yummy egg drop & sausage soup. Whey from homemade yogurt. Tart & yummy.

            S - bit o' creamy wonderful homemade sour cream. Lots of homemade yogurt.

            D - pot roast w/ veggies. Feeling full, but it could be the fit of the pants I'm wearing. I pulled out some I bought oh, in about 2000, and they have a very high waist. I'm just happy they fit. I'm giving them away tomorrow, lol.

            Avoid Poisons & Trauma
            No brushes with death today.

            Move Slowly, Lift Heavy, Sprint
            no, no, no.

            Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
            almost 10hrs! Need some consistency here! overcast 7 inside, no play, interpreted some Shakespeare.
            Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-25-2011, 08:38 PM.
            5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
            Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
            Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
            Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
            ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

            Comment


            • <148.5 This is what happens when the fruit is gone! I'm reading Why We Get Fat - GREAT book, probably the one that'll take this mainstream, if any does - and it explains what's happening. Yes, carbs drives insulin drive fat, but I'm thinking I must be really, really sensitive to insulin right now, like any little bit keeps me from releasing the fat in my cells.

              Actually, come to think of it, maybe not - I think it seems more likely that any little bit just triggers the cravings b/c of the gut issues, and that leads to more, which takes me to the threshold of "insulin circulating too long" that leaves me holding on to the fat in the cells.

              He also makes sense out of IF - the more often you eat, the longer insulin stays active, never giving your fat cells the break they need to release the fat. Well, he hasn't said that yet, but it makes senseto me, lol. "Six small meals a day," my foot!

              Found three more pair of pants that I'll be in in no more than 5lbs, and realized I can wear almost every winter shirt in my closet, including this one, which is not very exciting, but I haven't been able to wear it in at least 6 years, so I paired it with one of my FAVORITE skirts that I haven't been able to wear in probably 4 years.



              Food
              B - IF, then sausage & then bit of yogurt around noon

              L - Chinese hot pot - mixed marinated seafood cooked in broth w/ veggies

              D - leftover lamb roast, beef tongue (finally got it down; yummy!), DD made a delicious creamy tomato soup, of which I had much!

              Avoid Poisons & Trauma
              yes yes

              Move Slowly, Lift Heavy, Sprint
              no, no, no

              Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
              7hrs. Guess it's back to 10hrs again tomorrow. :s no, no, a bit
              Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-26-2011, 08:08 PM.
              5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
              Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
              Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
              Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
              ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

              Comment


              • MamaGrok, you rock! I am so excited for you and inspired for my own journey.
                Favorite Mark Quote: "I train to play."

                June 2010: 168.6 -size 16
                Current: 155 - size 10/12
                Goal:135 - size 8

                My Journal

                Comment


                • 149.75. ish.

                  I feel just like yesterday, great, so I'm not sure where the puff is, but all's well! I tried on every single long sleeve shirt in my closet and they ALL fit except 2 or 3. All but the ones from back when I was below 120 for a few months after BabyGrok#1 came along. I was dancing in my closet this morning! Woo hoo!

                  I thin kthe only difference between me now at 148 and when I was 138 has got to be 10lb of bosom & belly. Anyone know how to spot reduce mammary glands? Sheesh! On Athleta's size chart, I measure a S on the hip, M on the waist, and XL on the bust. Hard to shop like that!

                  I even squeezed into a ... size 6 ... pair of pants this morning. yes, they had like 10% spandex threads, lol, and no, they didn't look good, but they went on! My 14s have almost all left the closet, the 16s are long gone, and some of the 12s are getting too baggy. 10 seems to be most consistently fitting right now.

                  Food
                  B - IF. It feels REAL good to do this.

                  L - at 2:30, realized I had to eat before it got too late and had 4oz deli roast beef w/ yogurt & horseradish. 1-2 tablespoons butter. :P

                  D - chicken & Asian veggie soup w/ some evoo & almost-certainly-old-enough-to-be-rancid toasted sesame oil. Dove into some toasted sunflower & pumpkin seeds before stopping. Sauerkraut, hm yogurt. IDK if the seeds will affect me; we'l see.

                  Avoid Poisons & Trauma
                  yes, yes.

                  Move Slowly, Lift Heavy, Sprint
                  no, no, no.

                  Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
                  ~8hrs. no, no, no.

                  Still feeling really good in my skin. My nose is still clear and I can breathe through it at night every night even though it's winter and I have a very deviated septum (classic Weston Price result of too-narrow dental arches). My hair & skin are better than ever; all the health gains of the last three years have stuck. One day I'll list them; it's really amazing. I'm feeling so well and hearty on the food we're eating. Maybe I'll even exercise soon.

                  I just realized that the way I said "finally got it down" in the post above, it sounds like I choked down the beef tongue. I meant, I finally figured out how to make it well! Blanche, then boil for a few hours - tender and just like any other super tender pot roast!
                  Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-27-2011, 08:56 PM.
                  5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                  Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                  Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                  Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                  ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                  Comment


                  • So beef tongue is good, eh? I remember reading the Ramona books by Beverly Cleary and how Ramona when served tongue said she "couldn't eat anything that could lick her". I still have that in my head. I know, kind of crazy huh. I love beef liver but am scared to eat a cow's tongue. Sounds like you're doing well with everything.
                    Georgette

                    Comment


                    • LOL, I have to force myself to eat beef liver, but have found ways to make it palatable for myself! Liver has its own very distinct taste, but tongue is just like, I mean jus tlike, pot roast. It's very high in the nourishing fat, too, so it's moist & tender.
                      5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                      Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                      Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                      Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                      ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                      Comment


                      • May have to try tongue? Are you able to get it in a regular grocery store or do you go to a butcher or get it from a farmer? I have really never seen it in stores before. That may be something I make, tell them its a roast and see what happens. It may be good done in the crockpot.
                        Georgette

                        Comment


                        • I buy tongue from the farmer we get our other bulk items. The first time I did it, I skinned it the hard way (didn't know about the easy way yet) and threw it in with a chuck roast. They had absolutely NO idea it was there!

                          Today was amazing. There certainly has been some kind of corner turned! Everyone I saw commented on how much I've lost, even though most of them saw me last week and had not noticed much, if anything, to that point. It's the gut! I'm finally almost fully deflated! DO NOT SCREW IT UP, WOMAN!!! Seriously, my belly feels so good, and strangely, I actually feel thinner about 30 min after each meal than I did before the meal. Crazy, crazy stuff.

                          I need to practice my response. Surrounded by a bunch of ladies, one of them gushing over my weight loss and "flat stomach" (I had abs tightened, but I used to do that *all* the time, for like 10 years, before I got bloated and it was uncomfortable to do it any more), and another asked how much I lost and how I did it and I said something about "no grains, no sugar" and two of them said, "I think I'd rather stay fat than stop eating sugar!"

                          So sad, but I used to think that way, too, totally, and all I can do is be a model and pray & fast for them. I have wanted this for so long, b/c so many of my much-loved friends and family could benefit enormously from the health benefits of going off grains & sugar, but there's no way they'll listen to me as long as I'm fat.

                          And this week, I've made the transition from looking fat to looking like a normal person.

                          Even the goal jeans I put on at 155 I can now take off without unbuttoning. Ya!
                          5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                          Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                          Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                          Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                          ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                          Comment


                          • Woohoo!!! I love being able to pull jeans down without having to unbutton them! That's definitely a great feeling. So proud of you. Keep fighting the good fight!
                            Georgette

                            Comment


                            • 147.5 Whatever that was, 'tis gone! DaddyGrok noticed that a lot of times just before a big decrease, I have a seemingly inexplicable increase. Hmmm...

                              Seems the seeds didn't do me in, weight-wise, but as I lay in bed last night, my belly felt a little swollen, very heavy, and started to hurt. Not like gas pains, but actually the stomach, hurting. FTR.

                              Food
                              B - IF

                              L - 3 eggs in 1T CO, too many seeds.

                              D - bangers and mash(ed cauliflower), mushroom gravy, bit o' raw grassfed alpen cheese that DaddyGrok brought back from Wisconsin. Mmmm.

                              Avoid Poisons & Trauma
                              yes.

                              Move Slowly, Lift Heavy, Sprint
                              no, no,no.

                              Sleep, Sun, Play, and Use Your Brain
                              9hrs. Caught up again, I hope! a bit of sun, no play, no brain!
                              Last edited by MamaGrok; 01-28-2011, 08:21 PM.
                              5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                              Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                              Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                              Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                              ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                              Comment


                              • I just got Why We Get Fat today and of course went straight to his recommendations on what to eat. Seems more restrictive than PB. What do you think? I will read through the whole book too, to get a better understanding of things. Just curious what you think? I thought it was interesting he recommended 2 cups of bouillon.... anyway, I am ready to get a break through. We go on vacation in the end of March....I really want that break through.
                                Favorite Mark Quote: "I train to play."

                                June 2010: 168.6 -size 16
                                Current: 155 - size 10/12
                                Goal:135 - size 8

                                My Journal

                                Comment

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