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Primal Challenge Journal (MamaGrok)

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  • I have been reading some of your journal!
    You've been writing for quite a while!

    It's great to see how someone who has also struggle with BED, has overcome it, it gives me a lot of hope!

    Comment


    • There have been SO many ups and downs; we just keep trying, because giving up is NOT an option!!

      Left leg was very edematous last night. I had been standing for a few hours, but that never gives me edema. Of course it was the ice cream, but I'm surprised that it took so long. It didn't come about until probably at least 10 hours later. Unusual for me.
      5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
      Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
      Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
      Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
      ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

      Comment


      • Wow the forum is hard to get on today! I'm not even sure if this will go through; I've been trying to edit another post for hours and haven't been able to.


        Was too slumpy to get breakfast again, but it didn't bite me b/c, you know, I already binged hard yesterday, so bleh.


        Lunch: veg soup w/ pork, raw liver, pineapple, root chips
        5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
        Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
        Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
        Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
        ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

        Comment


        • Dinner: meat & veg soup, sweet potato.

          Still quite bloated from yesterday & a little edema & puffiness. Feeling very full, too.

          I'm excited about our trip - lots of camping gets me very ... giddy! I love the fresh air, sleeping in a tent with just dh (kids are in a 4-man right next to us) and trying not to roll onto him b/c it's a 2-man bp'ing tent, LOL. Okay, I really do love it. Love love love. Gets me very re-focused, replenished.

          I'll try not to think about all the unpacking and schooling and van replacing and house selling left for me when we get back!
          5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
          Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
          Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
          Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
          ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

          Comment


          • Have a great time camping and definitely don't think about all that other stuff
            Annie Ups the Ante
            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

            Comment


            • Yes, the unpacking and schooling and van buying and house selling have been wiping me out, but the respite was fantastic.

              Good news: I didn't bring nearly enough supps for the 3 weeks, but I didn't fall apart. Last time that happened I was in meltdown in less than a week and stayed that way for three months. So I know that I'm doing better and needing less of the supps.

              Bad news: After 3 weeks with not many supps and 3 more weeks forgetting to take them most of the time, I'm not doing great. I wish I had a full-time babysitter to keep me out of the kitchen and pantry, and to put my food directly in front of me in times like this, because it's so self-destructive not to be able to be in charge of what I put in my mouth.

              I've been having a new symptom that happens almost every time my left shin gets a little puffy: my left pink gets pins-and-needles (feels like when I've been sleeping with my hand under my head and circulation gets iffy for a while - tingly). Boo.

              Gonna try to be accountable with food again here. I went to XFit once this week and was in expected quad pain for three days even though I went pretty darn light, but ah, it is what it is. Hope to get going 3x/wk here soon, if I can find the time. When my supps are low, a secondary problem is that my drive goes downhill as the energy goes downhill. I don't feel like doing anything useful and stay on the computer most of the day. Boo.
              5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
              Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
              Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
              Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
              ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

              Comment


              • Welcome back Mamagrok.
                Annie Ups the Ante
                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

                Comment


                • I. HATE. BEING. FAT.

                  So tired of the heavy weight to lug around, the mobility limitation because of huge pockets of fat, the holes in every pair of pants I like, the waddling because of the pressure of my legs against each other.

                  I've never been fat in my life (other than temporary pre- and post-partum for a few months) except since this insane DHEA-driven weight gain from 2013 and I"m so sick of it. But even a perfect diet, no sugar, lots of nutrients for six months did nothing to budge it.

                  FRUSTRATING.

                  It's not like I'm going to give up, though. Just gotta let off the steam now and then.
                  5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                  Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                  Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                  Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                  ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                  Comment


                  • Breakfast: pork chop

                    Lunch: cobb salad with shrimp, chicken, & pork t-loin. Kostka sauce.
                    5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                    Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                    Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                    Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                    ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                    Comment


                    • Dinner yesterday: "queso" (real cheese) con carne, corn chips, a really good (seemed actually mayo-based instead of bad processed oil base) bleu cheese dressing.

                      Breakfast today: sausage

                      I woke at 6:45 this morning, shocking from how tired I was when I went to be at 11 last night. I hope I don't end up feeling like death at 3pm, but so far so good. I've gotten lots done unpacking the kitchen today. Yay!
                      5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                      Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                      Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                      Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                      ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                      Comment


                      • Good luck! It definitely is hard to keep going when progress isn't immediate, but it's great you have long term health in mind. Hope your family is doing well too
                        My chocolatey Primal journey

                        Unusual food recipes (plus chocolate) blog

                        Comment


                        • Thank you. The family is doing wonderfully, which is always a blessing. My oldest is applying to college, which is unreal, and my youngest is 5, which is very real to me - I do 5 well!

                          Lunch: leg of lamb w/ kostka, havarti, sweet potato chips

                          Dinner: burger w/ cheese & avocado, fries (too many). Then white-choc-covered cashews & caramel (BAD choice) and some peppermint ice cream (not much, I was stuffed).

                          Amazing how I can still eat, though after I'm totally full like I was after the fries. Hate my neurotransmitters.
                          5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                          Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                          Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                          Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                          ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                          Comment


                          • I can tell I'm gaining weight. This is unbelievably depressing, but we press on. I'm probably 180lb now. I can feel a permanent fold in my back now. It is so uncomfortable.

                            Thy will be done.

                            I'm hungry at meals like I can never be sated, unless I eat a ton of high-fat foods, and of course, I haven't eaten low-fat in almost a decade, so there shouldn't be a deficiency.

                            I know the aminos aren't enough anymore; my sugar cravings lead to binges almost daily. But not yesterday or today (unless eating a whole 6oz mini-tub of TJ's sweetened pumpkin cream cheese counts as a binge!), thanks be to God.

                            Thy will be done. All for You.

                            Truly, I'm very happy and very joyful, and focus on this relatively little. This journal just reflects what I do think about it when I think about it, which is primarily at night and morning when I have to undress, and, this week, every time I walk around because I can feel the back fat fold. It's horrifying, but it could be far, far worse, and I am truly blessed.

                            God, I love my husband. He is my rock.
                            5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                            Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                            Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                            Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                            ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                            Comment


                            • Hi, I had a quick question for you...
                              So I noticed in your previous post..u mentioned you got rid
                              of candida naturally...what would be your recommendation for someone who had candida and trying to heal it naturally..
                              Thank you for any insight...would really help

                              Comment


                              • Sorry for missing this ages ago, or maybe you're a spammer, IDK, but I used to think I knew the answers to candida, but now I'm sure I don't.

                                Just checking in to jot this down: I've been recovering from non-ideal foods (for me, corn usually treats me very badly, as do oats) much more quickly now, and reacting much less badly, just in the last week or two (the same 2-weeks where I lost 5lb for no reason that I can discern, first loss in over two years). I noticed I didn't react badly to TJ's GF cornbread mix, oddly enough, but did the very next night with TJ's organic corn chips. Not foods I eat regularly by any means, and the reactions were interesting. I didn't get uncomfortably bloated at all last night with the cornbread, but did to a good extent tonight with the chips, although it died back faster than usual (few hours instead of a day or more).

                                I've had a few bad reactions while losing weight - still think it may be from releasing stored toxins from fat into the bloodstream - but being aware of why it's happening helps a lot to manage it. Mostly makes me irritable, but also had a few days of low low fever and feeling miserable during the fastest loss. I lost 4lb 2 weeks ago, gained 1 last week, lost 2 so far this week.

                                Currently 180 and doing great at Crossfit. I'm convinced if I lost the 50lb I could compete as an Rx athlete. I obviously can't do a pull-up with a 50-lb fat vest on, or a handstand walk (although I can almost do a handstand push-up even with it!) or muscle-up. But I can do most everything else, and rock push-ups, which is giving me a killer bench press from being so darn stubborn. When I gained 10lb in the fall, I stopped being able to do push-ups again (after having gotten to 56 during one workout), so I went back to 1, then 2, then 3 a day, and am up to 10 straight, more in a workout with small breaks.

                                That made it pretty easy to outbench the (female) coach by 30lb the other day. 125x3, which means my PR is definitely going up next time I try.
                                5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
                                Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
                                Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
                                Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
                                ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***

                                Comment

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