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Gravyboat's Log, Stardate 59575.1

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  • She's got her appetite back, but she's still got indigestion. She woke me up twice today to feed her!! I'm not arguing with her about manners just yet, though, so I got up and fed her. I'm just glad she's hungry. Though she will pester me for food and then barely eat anything. I have to keep offering it to her throughout the day. I think maybe her stomach is just super tiny. I don't know.

    In other news, I'm super bloated and I don't really know why. Oh well, whatever. It's only temporary.

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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    • Hello, lovely primalfolks.



      I've been bad. I fell out of ketosis this week for reasons I don't understand, bloated up and started craving carbs. So I decided to take advantage of the situation before getting back on the wagon and ate a whole carton of chocolate peanut butter Haagen Dazs and some fancy chocolates.

      I regret nothing!

      _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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      • Hey gorgeous.

        I wish I could've joined you off the wagon, that sounds like fun.
        Depression Lies

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        • I discovered this amazing chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream a few weeks ago and have since decided that I made it all up and it never existed (because that way I can't buy it again!).

          Also, you are looking fantastic.
          “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

          Owly's Journal

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          • Lovely picture! You have beautiful lips.
            Primal since 9/24/2010
            "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
            MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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            • Hey Gravy!

              Glad Octavia is eating, even though it is nickel-and-dime style.

              HaagenDazs sounds lovely right now - I have been having FEED ME SEYMOUR kinds of hungers lately, I think it is the cooler weather making me want to blubber-up for the winter. I'm going to try to kill that feeling with more chicken livers and onions. My deadline of look-better is Nov 15 and coming up faster and faster now.

              I like the sweater - you dress well for us here on the MDA
              I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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              • Ugh, the cravings are definitely intense right now. It doesn't help that I have fancy chocolates in the house for halloween, and I have peanut butter for Octavia. I'll admit I've been eating some peanut butter, but I haven't touched the chocolates. It helps that I intentionally bought kinds I don't like much (caramels, bleugh).

                I've also been slacking hardcore this week with cleaning, returning emails, and sleeping like a normal person. Time to turn this ship around, because that's bad news.

                Luckily, if I can make it through the upcoming round of miserable cravings, I should be able to drop the bloat I've been experiencing and start getting things done again. The chart has me at 195 on October 15th, and I intend to make it happen. Also, my house is acceptably clean enough right now to have people over, so I DO NOT want to start falling behind with that again.

                I'm worried about what this will mean for my birthday, as I think it might be a bad idea to bake a big flourless chocolate cake at this point. But we'll see.

                In other news, it's officially been a year since I brought home Genevieve! Happy adoptionday, Beeps! <3

                _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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                • I decided to give up chocolate for October. One, I could eat a whole chocolate bar a night. Every night. Nice expensive chocolate. So that had to stop. The one bite tonight and another tomorrow? Ate the whole bar. So, no chocolate until Nov 1. This takes care of Halloween, handily enough.

                  Note, chocolate keeps! And happy pre-birthday.

                  It's great to hear you realizing things are slipping. Don't know what gets you back on track. I make lists, my husband picks one thing. And then one thing. Etc.

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                  • Originally posted by calochortus View Post
                    I decided to give up chocolate for October. One, I could eat a whole chocolate bar a night. Every night. Nice expensive chocolate. So that had to stop. The one bite tonight and another tomorrow? Ate the whole bar. So, no chocolate until Nov 1. This takes care of Halloween, handily enough.

                    Note, chocolate keeps! And happy pre-birthday.

                    It's great to hear you realizing things are slipping. Don't know what gets you back on track. I make lists, my husband picks one thing. And then one thing. Etc.
                    I've managed to stay away from the chocolate, although I do see it sitting there every time I walk into the kitchen. I just keep reminding myself that I would rather lose a pound than taste something sweet for like 30 seconds. And it's for putting out for the neighbors, which I am excited for, and the extra will get taken to choir, which I am also excited for. I like giving people things.

                    I'm getting back on top of everything, though I couldn't really say why. With the diet, it's because I know I've got 5lbs to lose by the 15th (I've been sitting at 199-200 for a while now) and I don't want to have to say I couldn't do it. Also, it's just such a relief to have an empty sink and all my clothes on hangers. It's a relief to know that anyone can walk into my apartment right now and I wouldn't feel totally anxious and ashamed for living in filth.

                    But I think the biggest motivator is that I damn well know how hard it is to clean my apartment when I've let it go for a long time, and I would much rather do dishes for 5-10 minutes a day than have to spend 12 full hours doing load after load after load. It's easier to pick a couple things off the floor and put them on hangers than let it go and have a giant pile of laundry again. I just did a huge clean, and I DON'T want to do it again. I'm also thinking I'd like to try dating again, so I kind of need to keep things nice. So if I see something that needs cleaning now, I'm trying to just roll my sleeves up and do it before it spirals back out of control. I have the energy now, so there's no excuse not to. And the anxiety of having to do another big clean is a pretty good motivator.

                    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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                    • Hi Gravy just finished reading your whole journal, count me as another fan! I hear you on the housework -- my parents had really bad habits with cleaning up so I inherited them, and when I moved out on my own I didn't honestly know how to manage. I had a phone call one day with my grandma, who was old school 50's housewife type lady (though mean as!!) and asked her how she managed to keep up with it all.

                      What she said stuck with me; that its different when its your own home, and she feels pride at presenting it to folks as an extension of herself, to invite them into a place where they can feel as welcome and safe as she does. If she has a clean home, she feels more cheerful, confident, and happy, and can look around the house and enjoy the view rather than think 'ugh'. She also was a huge fan of big windows and lots of sunlight, something that I'm trying to incorporate (as a former cave dweller). So good on you for keeping up with it, its much harder than alot of people think, especially when battling depression and all sorts. Hugs to you and your kitties.

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                      • Mmmm. Pecan-crusted catfish with sauteed scallions, homemade tartar sauce, pickles, and raspberry hard cider. Served on antique teal glass dishes by candle light.

                        Shit, I'd date me.

                        You guys, life is so good. Had an awesome time at choir today. Soprano 2 (my section) was singing a part for our director, and a lady in Soprano 1 turned around and said "Your voice is so pretty!" I was like "OMG THANK YOU!! " Then some of us went to Panera afterward to work on language pronunciation (we're doing songs in Yiddish, Hebrew, some African languages, Latin, and Gaelic). And a random lady came up to us and complimented us on our singing. And I was able to help one of the choir ladies with a part on a song, and she was super appreciative and was like "You're a prodigy! You're so awesome at everything!" and I was like "LOL no way, that's ridiculous!!" and we all had a laugh.

                        Also, last night I got totally sloshed on sparkling wine at my friend's ceramics studio and we laughed a lot and it was great. I was REALLY drunk and it was a blast.

                        I'm kinda blowing my diet right now with drinking and eating chocolates and totally not counting carbs, but I don't care. Life is awesome. If only I had someone to share it with!
                        Last edited by Gravyboat; 10-08-2012, 02:24 AM. Reason: That hot sexy catfish was covered in pecans, not walnuts

                        _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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                        • You are making me sooooooooo jealous... I am doing a Whole30 for October...
                          I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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                          • You make my mouth water.
                            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                            • Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                              You are making me sooooooooo jealous... I am doing a Whole30 for October...
                              Good luck, Crabbcakes!! I've never purposely done a Whole30, but it's an awesome thing to do! One of these days I will. Maybe for November since apparently this is a month of debauchery and I'll probably need it by the end.


                              Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                              You make my mouth water.
                              Oh badgergirl, you know it is mutual. <3

                              _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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                              • I did a six-week paleo challenge earlier this year at my gym, and I found that worked well for me--not quite the same as a Whole 30, since I allowed myself one treat a week (normally an almond milk Kashmiri chai with a gluten-free pumpkin chocolate chip cookie or a gluten-free butter chicken wrap at one of my fave local places), but it was strictly no dairy, no legumes, no grains, etc. for the rest of the time. I lost a few inches, but more importantly, it helped me get re-focused on my eating habits.

                                I may do something similar for November as well since this weekend is Thanksgiving here and I baked a delicious maple pumpkin pie (gluten-free pastry of course) and am happily indulging, plus I just had my birthday and my friend and I are having a joint birthday party coming up that will involve loads of food. It might be good to have a month of really clean eating before we dive on into the Christmas season. The celiac thing always makes me more conscious of my food than a lot of people, but it's good to get back on track now and then on the other stuff.
                                “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                                Owly's Journal

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