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Gravyboat's Log, Stardate 59575.1

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  • Meee-owww! Maybe your lady-crush is bi and just happened to fall for a guy and make babies with him.

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    • Not all straight women are as straight as one might think.

      Anyhow, you're gorgeous, Lady Bear, and you have been since your first photo here, so it's not just your weight. I think your newfound confidence and the way you feel in your leaner body is part of it--people who feel good about their bodies carry themselves differently and it shows. I think you're also more open to finding a lover now, and people can sense that too. Feeling good in your skin is sexy, plain and simple.
      “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

      Owly's Journal

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      • Octavia's eating again! Peanut butter has totally reawakened her appetite. Last night she seemed really weak and floppy when I picked her up, and she kept trying to hide in dark corners and behind things, which is a bad sign. So I stayed up super duper late trying to keep her eating. I fed her two additional meals after dinner (tuna with extra water and more baby food), interspersed with small snacks of peanut butter, and I gave her catnip and played "catch the string" with her (which she played, but pretty weakly).

        Today she was on the bed when I woke up and she seems more energetic. Not 100%, but better. She's grooming herself again, and she had a big appetite for breakfast. I'm going to keep pumping her full of calories every couple hours. She really needs to put on some weight. You can feel her spine all the way up her back. It was really scary last night, though, picking her up and her just feeling like a completely limp doll in my arms. No muscle tone whatsoever. I hope that's behind us now!!

        In other news, I'm back up to 200 today. Retaining water and I don't really know why, because I drank a ton of water yesterday. I'm squishy as shit, though, so I'm sure it'll be coming right back off. Hopefully, anyway.

        Today is a cleaning day because my friend is coming over tonight. Ugh, I don't want to do laundryyyyyy. Happily, other than the laundry, and a thorough bathroom cleaning, and some light vacuuming, and getting down on my hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floor, my house is pretty much clean. You all should be proud of me: This month, there have been only 4 days I didn't wash dishes. 4 out of 24! I'm actually keeping on top of things now, which is awesome. Once laundry is finally done, I hope I am able to keep on top of that too. It's just so fucking daunting to have a giant mountain to do. Knowing that it is going to take hours and hours, worrying about if you can even afford to do, worrying about whether someone else is going to walk in and need the machines, having to walk both up and down the stairs from the 4th floor at minimum 3 times per load.. It just sucks. I hate it.

        But I have to do it, so I might as well start. Right after I eat something.

        _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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        • Originally posted by WaylandC View Post
          Meee-owww! Maybe your lady-crush is bi and just happened to fall for a guy and make babies with him.
          Unfortunately, she is actually straight. I was told by the other lesbians in the choir, including her closest choir buddy.

          Originally posted by Owly View Post
          Not all straight women are as straight as one might think.
          There is ALWAYS the dim, flickering hope that I could turn her, but that's the sort of thinking that breaks people's hearts in the end. I don't want to set myself up for that because I flat-out know that my self esteem couldn't take it. So I'm just going to try hard to ignore it and hope it goes away.

          Anyhow, you're gorgeous, Lady Bear, and you have been since your first photo here, so it's not just your weight. I think your newfound confidence and the way you feel in your leaner body is part of it--people who feel good about their bodies carry themselves differently and it shows. I think you're also more open to finding a lover now, and people can sense that too. Feeling good in your skin is sexy, plain and simple.
          Maybe! I don't really know what other people are thinking, and I don't really know how I come off to others, whether I seem confident or not. I am pretty satisfied with how I look right now, so maybe that shows as confidence. I don't know. I can't see what other people see. Though I can tell you that I'm still shocked when I see myself in mirrors and windows, because holy crap, I look so thin!

          _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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          • Maybe not enough sleep throwing off water retention? If you hydrate too much, you'll flush the sodium out of your system and retain water. It's an awkward balance/system. Might also be why you get all black-out-y? Flushing too many electrolytes?

            I actually cut back on how much water I was drinking and don't feel any different. I think if you're eating a lot of plant matter, you can get away with drinking much less water, because you get it from food sources, but if you're LC, 8 glasses is probably plenty. Obviously varies from person to person though. I drink a glass before breakfast, before lunch, and before dinner, and that's about it.
            Depression Lies

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            • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
              Maybe not enough sleep throwing off water retention? If you hydrate too much, you'll flush the sodium out of your system and retain water. It's an awkward balance/system. Might also be why you get all black-out-y? Flushing too many electrolytes?
              That's possible. I try to drink ~72oz of fluid a day, so it could just be overkill. I also slept like crap last night and I'm super tired today, so that could be it too. I'm not that worried about it, anyway. It's not like I gained fat or something.

              _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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              • Oh, I don't recommend falling for her, I'm just saying that I would not be that surprised that she might flirt.
                “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                Owly's Journal

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                • I used to drink a lot of water each day thinking it was better to have super clear urine. You could try cutting the amount you drink by 8-16 ounces and be mindful of the color. There are charts/images online of course to show what color matches with a well-hydrated body. Active days will most likely require a bit more water.

                  Regarding the "straight" woman, no one truly knows what her orientation may be. You're well aware that some identify an orientation because they have been raised by family and society to be a certain way. I'm not saying to get your hopes up or anything of course because the woman you're so enamored with right now may instead become a close, lifelong friend to you.

                  What do I know...I'm just a dude.

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                  • Originally posted by WaylandC View Post
                    I'm not saying to get your hopes up or anything of course because the woman you're so enamored with right now may instead become a close, lifelong friend to you.
                    I hope so! She seems super sweet and nice. And I met my local friend because I had an insane, one-sided crush on her as well. It was REALLY, REALLY difficult at first, and I found myself wringing my hands behind my back a lot because all I wanted to do was put them all over her. But eventually I got over it and we became good friends instead. And now I'm not attracted to her at all, really. So it worked out in the end, though the rejection stung at the time.

                    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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                    • Originally posted by Gravyboat View Post
                      You all should be proud of me: This month, there have been only 4 days I didn't wash dishes. 4 out of 24! I'm actually keeping on top of things now, which is awesome.
                      I am truly proud, and it is awesome. The first thing that went when I had that free-fall depression was the housework, but little did I know that was a huge symptom for someone who usually keeps an orderly one. It tells me you really, deeply, are on the healing path. Sweet!

                      Glad Octavia is eating! Fancy Feast, corn smut, whatever - when a cat is bony and not eating, anything counts except engine coolant. I have been there with the baby food, too. You just keep on keeping on with her (I know you could do no less, but still), and I will send some good wishes and prayers her way for more recovery, added weight, and increased appetite.

                      Sorry, but I can't dive into the girl-crush conversation and say anything worth the photons... I'm straight. The most I can muster is the admission that I have had about two dreams that involved another woman's boobies. But your conversation is interesting to follow!

                      Loved the cold-cat-on-lap pic! But when I am nekkid, I have learned not to get around my boys... I have had everything from a cat fight that involved me to a nipple bite happen, and now I am several-times-bitten, several-times-shy about doing the cat snuggle without clothing.
                      I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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                      • I don't wear clothes in the house, so naked is the only way I ever snuggle my cats. If you ever see pictures of me with clothing on, it's almost guaranteed that I put them on specifically to take the picture. That goes for every pic in this journal. And yes, I am naked right now. I've been naked for nearly every post I've ever written.

                        Also, if it makes you feel any better, I don't even care about breasts, personally. It's just another piece of anatomy to me. I don't think mine are particularly great, and I am not affected by the sight of them on others. They are just not erotically interesting to me.

                        _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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                        • Originally posted by Gravyboat View Post
                          I don't wear clothes in the house, so naked is the only way I ever snuggle my cats. If you ever see pictures of me with clothing on, it's almost guaranteed that I put them on specifically to take the picture. That goes for every pic in this journal. And yes, I am naked right now. I've been naked for nearly every post I've ever written.

                          Also, if it makes you feel any better, I don't even care about breasts, personally. It's just another piece of anatomy to me. I don't think mine are particularly great, and I am not affected by the sight of them on others. They are just not erotically interesting to me.
                          Do you realise at least 75% of the world feels quite the opposite about breasts in general (and maybe even yours in particular) though, right? As someone not exactly blessed in the bazooka department, those girls are awe inspiring. Quite the weapons-grade bust, you've got there. I have amazing legs though, so all is not lost. We've all got our gifts to share
                          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                          • Originally posted by John479
                            Thanks for that, certainly going to get my mitts on some and see what happens
                            This is one of the most funny unintentionally contextual spammer posts I've ever seen.
                            “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                            Owly's Journal

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Owly View Post
                              This is one of the most funny unintentionally contextual spammer posts I've ever seen.
                              Haha.

                              _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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                              • Hey Gravy!

                                How is the putty-tat??
                                I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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