That said, when I personally think of "masculinity", I think of traits such as: terse, resilient, dutiful, hard-working, physically capable, earthy (like, callused hands stained with dirt/oil from a long day's work), the "strong, silent type", etc. Basically think of the best traits of male manual laborers. Think of male camaraderie. Think of quiet, understated, yet unbreakably-strong masculine affection, and everything that can be said with a nod and a pat on the shoulder.
That is stuff I identify with.
Then there are "feminine" qualities, like: being nurturing, caring, understanding, graciously enduring hardships imposed on you by others, trying hard to make others happy, social, makes friends easily, talkative, has domain over the home and family, gentle, small, pretty, delicate, etc.
That is stuff I don't really identify with. And when I have tried to be that sort of person, I have felt like a total imposter.
Anyone can be either of those things or a mix of the two, no matter your sex. Of course, it's socially celebrated to be the one that corresponds with your sex. Which is why I have spent so many years trying to stuff myself into the feminine box, even though I feel like I don't belong there at all.
I am also into history, and basically if you were a woman back in the day, you were at home doing housework and raising children. I don't see myself in that at all. If I lived in the past, I would have wanted to do "manly" things, like be a blacksmith or a lumberjack, or train for armed combat. And I am into historical clothing, so if I was looking to dress up for the ren fest or something, I would be looking at mens clothing, basically, because that's the clothing that corresponds to what I am most interested in.
The masculine clothing I am looking forward to getting when I have reached my weight goal is also historical, "classic"-type stuff, because I like historical clothing. I want to do something called dapper style. Lots of tweed blazers and sweater vests and well-tailored pants, and a lot of interesting color combinations, which is my absolute favorite. I love playing with colors and textures, which is why I have been able to find joy in feminine clothing for so long. I am not a jeans-and-tshirt kind of person and never have been, and when I had short hair in the past, I was pretty much limited to that because of my size and because I had no money for anything nice. So it sucked and I hated it. I felt ugly partly because I had zero creative outlet in my clothing. So that is something I want to do different this time.
Why not be strong and feminine and badass?