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Jamilyn's 30th Birthday Wish

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  • #76
    Woe Is Me

    Oh the pain!

    I must be going through either carb flu or caffeine withdrawal or I am dying!!

    My head is about to burst and I am extremely tempted to just lay on the floor in my office and take a nap. This feeling, this exact moment, is what I need to remember the next time I decide to go "off" of primal! It is just not worth the reintroduction. My poor body. I'm so sorry to put you through this again!!

    Anyway,

    Last night I did cave and eat a non primal snack of pita chips with cinnamon and sugar. In my defense, I was trying to get them out of the house and just felt like it was a sin to put them in the trash can .

    Today, more determined than ever, I am having my black coffee in a bit which I am hoping will reduce this headache. I hadn't realized how much soda I was drinking until I stopped on Sunday. It's just gross and I'm not going to be thinking about it anymore. Then I am going to have a quarter chicken with some green beans and potatoes. I am working through today from 9:00 am to 10:00 pm because of meetings and such, so I will probably run over to either the grocery store for a BAS or to Chipotle for some meat and veggies. Depends on the mood later I guess.

    Hope everyone is doing well today, or at least better than me. It's funny, as crummy as I feel I know what's waiting for me on the other side and so I'm really excited!

    PS. I have been really really wanting another tattoo lately. I have one small one that I got when I was 18 and it is kind of dumb. I have been thinking about what to get, and I am seriously thinking about getting the grok symbol. I know I am struggling with adopting this lifestyle but it is really the lifestyle that I want to embody.. It is definitely something that I am giving real thought to..
    My Story As It Unfolds

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    • #77
      Grok symbol as in the primal blueprint logo? That'd make a cool tattoo!

      Bet one of these bumper stickers would look good too! Bumper Stickers
      SW (Nov 22nd 2011): 333
      Current Weight as of Nov 25 2015: 248
      Short Term Goal: Fit into the shirts I got on my honeymoon at disney and universal in august next year when I go back to for my 1 year anniversary
      Met Goal: Be a 2x Shirt, Fit in a standard airplane seat belt without the use of a seat belt extension
      Long Term Goal: 166lbs (One day!), Buy whatever cloths I want to wear.
      Pain is temporary, quitting is forever- Lance Armstrong #NoExcuses

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      • #78
        Hahaha,

        That site is awesome! I love the baby girl caveman.

        Yes, I am talking about the Grok symbol as the in the PB logo. It's pretty awesome and I think it would look cool on my back in the upper left area somewhere.. Talk about a constant reminder about how I want to live! I will wait a couple of months to see if I still want it. But i'm leaning that way!
        My Story As It Unfolds

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        • #79
          :P Look at it as something to earn! You don't want your tattoo to shrink so to get it you must first earn the bod to go with it! It'd make great incentive!
          SW (Nov 22nd 2011): 333
          Current Weight as of Nov 25 2015: 248
          Short Term Goal: Fit into the shirts I got on my honeymoon at disney and universal in august next year when I go back to for my 1 year anniversary
          Met Goal: Be a 2x Shirt, Fit in a standard airplane seat belt without the use of a seat belt extension
          Long Term Goal: 166lbs (One day!), Buy whatever cloths I want to wear.
          Pain is temporary, quitting is forever- Lance Armstrong #NoExcuses

          Comment


          • #80
            Back to feeling great!

            Oh, how I missed this feeling. The feeling of an overabundance of energy that makes you just kind of want to bounce around from place to place. I absolutely did not give in to any cravings or indulgences. Just ate a fantastic roasted chicken and asparagus dinner. I went to bed grumpy. I woke up feeling awesome! Yay!

            There have been some crazy stressors in my life lately, which is funny because my big focus right now is on creating peace. I guess when you declare that you want something, all of the other stuff bubbles up to get out of the way. Yesterday I got a phone call from my mother in law that my father in law had had a heart attack. After I picked my jaw up off of the ground I called my husband. He was an absolute wreck so I went home to meet him there.

            Now, my mother in law has had some very serious medical problems lately as well. She was diagnosed with a very rare autoimmune disease a few weeks ago. Before all of this, these two people are two of the healthiest (CW, but still very healthy) people that I know. So all of the illness has come as a great shock to everyone around us.

            Anyway, we made it to the hospital that they had transferred him to by about 8pm last night. We got there just in time for the head cardio guy to tell us that he had in fact NOT had a heart attack and that the other Dr.'s were idiots for telling us this. He has pariocarditis. Which is an inflammation of the heart lining. Very treatable and probably caused by a viral infection. We were so relieved that we all started laughing and crying. It was a very emotional time.

            Anyway, I tell this story because I tell everything on this journal. But also, to declare that I don't want an autoimmune disease or a heart attack to jump out and bite me. I have so far treated this lifestyle as a diet, not as a way to prevent future complications and illnesses. I have two small girls that are my heart and I can't afford to not be around for them. It is time to get serious about this on a whole other level.

            The subject of mortality has really been at the forefront of my mind lately with the ordeals that my in-laws have been going through. I have been very laxidasical about my health for far too long. I'm done with that. The gloves are off. Time to beat the old habits and the mental broken record that this is 'just who I am'. Time to get primal!!!
            My Story As It Unfolds

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            • #81
              Nice and quick post today due to the fact that I have done NOTHING all week but look at this site. I have 2 hours to get my week's worth of work done.. Oops.

              Yesterday I did pretty well. I did not have enough fat during the day, so I was pretty light headed and feeling very bad by the time I got home from work. I zapped a steam bag of mixed broccoli, carrots, and cauliflower in the microwave. My mom (who watches the little ones) had made a huge pot of rice for the kids. I looked at it and hesitated, then said, "Oh screw it, I"m starving!!". We had leftover roasted chicken in the fridge. So I put a huge spoonful (half cup or so) of rice in a bowl, poured a ton of veggies on top, added a few tbs of butter to that. Put chicken on top of that and threw the last tbs or 2 of gravy over the whole thing. I"m sure the gravy had cornstarch or something in it but seriously, it was sooooooo worth it. I inhaled the entire bowl in about 2 minutes and only then realized that that stuff was HOT!! I felt so much better once the food kicked in. I won't be making that mistake again anytime soon. I know better.

              I fell asleep very early due to a hectic week and was woken up at 10:30 PM to my husband turning on the light to read. GRRRRR!!! I was so furious that I couldn't go back to sleep. I think I fell asleep on the couch around midnight. I still feel great today, but I wasn't exactly thrilled about the situation. Tonight we are going to have a relaxing evening of wine and a movie. Possibly a board game too. I am not worried about drinking wine, as long as I remember that this does not mean that I need to late night snack as well. I am reading a great book called Clutter Busting, and part of what I am realizing is that putting a bunch of junk in my body is cluttering me on the inside. It's just as bad as having a cluttered room. It's always fun to have these realizations!

              Hope all is well : )
              My Story As It Unfolds

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              • #82
                How is getting back into the paleo groove goin? You've been quiet for a couple days
                SW (Nov 22nd 2011): 333
                Current Weight as of Nov 25 2015: 248
                Short Term Goal: Fit into the shirts I got on my honeymoon at disney and universal in august next year when I go back to for my 1 year anniversary
                Met Goal: Be a 2x Shirt, Fit in a standard airplane seat belt without the use of a seat belt extension
                Long Term Goal: 166lbs (One day!), Buy whatever cloths I want to wear.
                Pain is temporary, quitting is forever- Lance Armstrong #NoExcuses

                Comment


                • #83
                  Ecks,

                  I am not at work from Friday-Sunday so I don't usually get on here much during those times. Especially now that it is summer. We (the girls and I) tend to run or swim hard and then drop when we get into the house.

                  As for primal, food wise, I have been doing pretty well. Exercise wise, I think I have it covered. I swam with my 5 year old yesterday for about 3 hours. And I mean serious activity, no relaxing on a raft for me! The only thing that is really holding me back is the alcohol. I think I am going to have to face a serious fact that I have a bit of a problem. It's not like I go on huge drinking binges and black out or drink to the point that I can't take care of my kids. But I honestly really really want a beer or a cocktail every single night, and we definitely incorporate alcohol into our weekends. And usually I want a few, at least enough to get a buzz. Not only is this a pretty unhealthy way to live from a mental standpoint, but it is also really affecting my sugar/carb count each day. This s#@* has got to stop!!

                  So now, having actually "said" that out loud to a bunch of anonymous people that I consider my friends, I guess I need to just get on with it and stop all alcohol consumption for a while. It is a big part of my husbands and my social life. But I am really really going to focus this week on no alcohol at all. Last week I had to focus on no late night snacking. No alcohol will help with this issue as well. Send good vibes! I have a feeling that this is going to be a little bit harder than it should be.
                  My Story As It Unfolds

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                  • #84
                    As long as you're recognizing it you're at least in the right direction. If it's a matter of fitting in or at least the appearance of it you may be well for yourself to grab a perrier and serve it in a similar glass as you would a gin and tonic... just without the tonic. Then at least you won't feel out of place
                    SW (Nov 22nd 2011): 333
                    Current Weight as of Nov 25 2015: 248
                    Short Term Goal: Fit into the shirts I got on my honeymoon at disney and universal in august next year when I go back to for my 1 year anniversary
                    Met Goal: Be a 2x Shirt, Fit in a standard airplane seat belt without the use of a seat belt extension
                    Long Term Goal: 166lbs (One day!), Buy whatever cloths I want to wear.
                    Pain is temporary, quitting is forever- Lance Armstrong #NoExcuses

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Interesting Developments

                      So, it seems as though just admitting that there might be a problem was a HUGE step for me. Last night, my mom came over (we are very close and have a great friendship) to play board games with my husband and I. She and he opened the wine and poured a glass and asked if I was going to have some. I said no thanks, that I thought I needed to stop drinking for a while. Both said, Oh thats great for you, and then the issue was dropped. I was so proud of myself for saying no. It was such a small thing, but big for me on the inside. So I drank my seltzer water with lime and had a great night.

                      I slept better than I have in MONTHS. I fell asleep around 10ish. At 7:30 this morning I just about bounced out of bed. I can't believe how great I feel today. It is like making this change has dropped 20 lbs. of emotional baggage right off of me. I know there will be some struggles with sticking to my guns at times, but I am really excited about the future. I know that abstaining from alcohol will help my mood, my energy level, and my weight loss. I may not decide to give it up forever, but I am going to be very careful and selective about when, where, and how much I have. For now, I think I can keep it out of my life for at least a week. We have a big birthday party to go to this weekend. I am going to set my mind that I don't need to participate in the drinking. I will go armed with my yummy water and some limes to enjoy a fizzy drink. If I can get through this, I think my self esteem will be through the roof! I know I can do it. I just have to remember that I don't have any choice BUT to do it.

                      As for primal, did GREAT yesterday. I was 100% on plan for the first time in a while. Today I came to work armed with a BAS salad that I made out of all of the fresh veggies that I got from our CSA. I fried up pork chops in Olive Oil last night and baked sweet potatoes. I have all of that for leftovers today.. Yum, my mouth is watering at the thought of it! Tonight I will either continue with these leftovers or stop for steaks, I haven't decided yet. Also I have some beautiful beets, so I am going to slice them really thin and sautee them in butter to make beet chips.. YUMMY!!

                      Hope everyone is doing well.
                      My Story As It Unfolds

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                      • #86
                        Isn't it interesting how bad your mind tries to mess things up? I mean, I guess a normal, well adjusted person's mind would be super excited for these healthy changes. Mine is saying, "GIVE ME WINE AND CHOCOLATE AND THOSE CHIPS AND SOME PITA CHIPS OOH OOH AND ALSO A SLURPEE (which I haven't had since I was like, 16), AND DON'T FORGET THE WINE!!!!!"

                        I am ignoring this chatter to the best of my ability while sucking on a pork chop bone and drinking my fizzy water. Perhaps if I ignore it for a few days it will go away. There is only one winner here on this island and I am determined that it will be me. The monkey mind inside of me is just going to have to learn how to be quiet and play nice.

                        I'm writing this on here this evening for accountability. I fully intend to get up tomorrow morning, proud of what I can write as an update!!
                        My Story As It Unfolds

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                        • #87
                          Success!!

                          I am proud to say that I did not, in fact, give in to cravings last night. Woohoo! I was struggling with cravings so I made a pot of coffee during my class (I take a class at church from 7-9pm) and had a large mug of coffee with 2 tsp of raw sugar. I know I am supposed to be cutting all sugar out but I needed something to curb all of the ideas that were running around in my head. It worked! I was up a little late from the caffeine but that was well worth feeling satisfied without wine or something else equally bad.

                          I was still feeling 'hungry' (not sure if this was psychological or if I really was hungry) after my class and so I stuck to my idea of eat when I am hungry and pulled out some chicken wings that I had made a couple of days ago. Just baked with seasonings and olive oil. Two chicken wings later, I was happy and ready to relax for the night. I woke up this morning feeling fantastic! I was happy with myself for sticking to my plan and I felt clear headed and energetic. This is the feeling that I am going to hold onto if I start struggling again.

                          Also, I am 5 lbs down after 2 days of real primal. It's amazing how bloated I was! My waist already looks better and my face looks significantly less puffy. Today I am on a quest to find a pull up bar to start the Simple Fit program. This program looks so easy that even I can't make an excuse as to why I shouldn't do it!
                          My Story As It Unfolds

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                          • #88
                            Welcome back to happy/healthy living! you must feel great!
                            SW (Nov 22nd 2011): 333
                            Current Weight as of Nov 25 2015: 248
                            Short Term Goal: Fit into the shirts I got on my honeymoon at disney and universal in august next year when I go back to for my 1 year anniversary
                            Met Goal: Be a 2x Shirt, Fit in a standard airplane seat belt without the use of a seat belt extension
                            Long Term Goal: 166lbs (One day!), Buy whatever cloths I want to wear.
                            Pain is temporary, quitting is forever- Lance Armstrong #NoExcuses

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                            • #89
                              I bought a beautiful steak for this evening. And there was also hamburger on sale, so I bought that too. I got home and hubby wanted me to make burgers. It's been about 40 minutes since eating them and I'm feeling soo terrible! I think the meat might have been bad. It tasted off to me so I only took about 3 bites and then threw it away... Oh mannnnn I do not want to have food poisoning!!!
                              My Story As It Unfolds

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                              • #90
                                Oh thank goodness! No food poisoning.. At least I think I would have been sicker than I am by now. It was just a funky dinner. From this experience I have decided that I no longer enjoy ground beef right now. Whew!

                                With the thankfulness that comes with dodging a bullet of being sick, I am going to go to bed early and dream sweet dreems of the beautiful steak waiting for me in the morning : )
                                My Story As It Unfolds

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