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This Time It Will Stick...A 40=something woman tries Primal

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  • This Time It Will Stick...A 40=something woman tries Primal

    Hi. I think I'm in for real now after a few false starts. The thing is, I am so very attracted to food that is bad for me that I've had to have a few "last suppers" the last few weeks which turned into "last weekends" filled with fast food, doughnuts, things that I would "never have again so I needed to enjoy today for the last time" *sigh*. If it wasn't such a pattern in my life that has kept me slightly overweight and going back and forth in a weight range I've been unhappy about for years, then it would be funny.

    So I've hit a weight that is just unacceptable to me and I haven't been at this weight for a long time (like for two years) and now suddenly I've been at it many times in the last month, which means it's for real, it's not just water weight. I am 5'2" and weigh 143. I've been bouncing between 140 and 146 for the last six weeks. Before the holidays, I was mostly in a 137-139 range. So my weight has jumped up and I know I have myself to blame.

    I have to get serious about this, I have to just take the plunge and do it, no more talk and then backtracking three days later. In order to do so, must acknowledge my weaknesses:

    Things I will possibly miss forever and will be a challenge to give up for awhile at least:
    1. cupcakes with buttercream frosting
    2. fresh doughnuts
    3. enchiladas
    4. rice
    5. naan bread
    6. rice-lentils cooked with Middle Eastern spices and topped with fried onions
    7. McDonald's french fries and coke and fish filet sandwich
    8. Take out Chinese food (the bad stuff, not the steamed vegetable option)
    9. Pizza
    10. Chips and salsa
    11. Margaritas and other non-wine alcoholic beverages

    Also, my parents invite me over a lot for dinner and they aren't on the same wavelength, so I'm still not sure how I'm going to handle that bit yet.

    I frequent another forum that focuses on calorie counting. Every single day in the forums there are posts like, "I exercise 6 days a week for an hour of intense cardio, I eat 1200 calories, I never drink alcohol or eat junk, and I haven't lost a pound." After reading so many of these, I started to feel that something just wasn't right. I mean, given the person isn't lying (seems like a waste of time to lie on a forum where nobody knows you, but who knows, lol) or making huge errors in calorie counting calculations, something just isn't right. According to CW, you eat less, you exercise more, you lose weight. So why aren't all those people losing? I couldn't tell you for sure, but what it really meant for me is that the usual calories in, calories out formula does not seem to necessarily work for some or maybe most people. I have lost weight before by counting calories, but I found it tedious and the minute I stopped paying attention for a week, five weeks of hard work was down the toilet.

    Having experienced low carb in the past and knowing how it made me feel, I know getting rid of unnecessary carbs (non-vegetable-and-fruit carbs) was critical for me to lose weight and feel better in general.

    I'm also interested in getting off some hormonal medication, but I don't think I can risk it until I get my diet under control and take it seriously.

    So, day 1 so far:

    Weighed in: 144.4

    I went for a walk for 2.6 miles at a brisk pace (it was so cold or I would have walked longer). I did a modified version of Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred (I left off the ab exercises because I am also doing Pilates which is heavy-duty ab and I took some breaks while doing the strength because I'm not in shape at all as far as lifting) I also did a plank. The 30-day shred already includes push ups and squats.

    I ate at 10:30 a.m. I had chicken wings I made with chicken wings, hot sauce mixed with butter. I just ate until my hunger was satisfied.

    Breakfast: none
    Lunch: (early): 4 chicken wings with hot sauce/butter, 1 square very dark chocolate, pinch of cashews
    Dinner: ?

    Yes, I realize that the nuts and chocolate are not hardcore Primal, but I need to ease into this with some treats or I might give up too soon.

  • #2
    Congrats on your resolve and fresh start. You can do it!
    FaceBook: PaleoMusings

    We get one shot at life, let's make it amazing


    • #3
      Once you give up grains you will lose the taste for those addictive (yes, they act on the same opiod receptors as heroin an cocaine - see Mark's recent post) wheat & sugar products. Your body will love you for it.

      Stay strong!
      F 58 / 170cms / SW 131.5 kgs / Current 112.4/ GW 65
      following Primal Lifestyle and swimming my way to health

      My Primal Blog / Photo Blog / RedBubble shop / My Calendars / My Facebook


      • #4
        Thanks for the support, curlygirl and analog6!

        Day 2: Feb. 19

        Weigh in- 144.0
        Loss: -.4

        Challenge for today: My parents live in the same town I do (LONG, sordid story as to how I ended up back here, but I moved back to the same town I grew up in 3 1/2 years ago after a terrible event forced me away from where I was living with my husband took me a few years to get my life back under control, but here I am still...). My mom has been out of town for the last week for a business trip, and so I've brought dinner/will dinner to my dad on Sundays while she is/was gone. There are no take-out places that are good bets for primal eating. Pizza is out, Kentucky Fried Chicken or other fast food places are out. I really don't have time to go over and cook an elaborate meal. I'm thinking of going to a Thai place maybe or Indian food place and just making sure there is no flour or cornstarch or sugar in the sauces. Hmm....

        Yesterday I mostly did good.

        Breakfast: none
        early lunch: hot wings (homemade) (about 4 chicken wings smothered in a butter-hot sauce combo), a few cashews, square of dark-dark chocolate
        snack: a few tablespoons guacamole
        dinner: a small smoothie made with half a small banana, 1/4 cup coconut milk, a handful of frozen berries, then left to freeze so it had the consistency of ice-cream, some wine.

        Notice the lack of vegetables. Did not do that on purpose. I do love and eat a lot of vegetables on a daily basis normally, so having one day where I didn't is not going to hurt me. Wine is my weak point, for sure, as I've discussed here and in other places. I would like to wean myself so that I only had it a few times a month. Right now I usually LOVE having a glass while I'm cooking and preparing food. There's something so relaxing about cooking and then taking occasional sips. I think I can still have it as long as I don't hit a major slump where I can't lose weight. On the weekend, I tend to have more than one glass because I know I can without worrying about waking up early for work the next day.

        Now for the weird. I am a writer on the side, have so far had one short story published, am working on a novel, blah blah blah. Anyway, one thing that I have done and need to get back into is early morning journaling. There is something about that time when you first wake up, before your inner editor kicks in, in which you come up with some really interesting truths and insights. I will never forget one morning about five or six years ago, when I was also struggling with weight (*sigh*, did I mention this nonsense has been going on for far too long?), I started babbling in my journal and suddenly I started writing in second person. I thought some of the nutrition advice I gave myself was some of the best advice ever. Did I end up following it consistently? Of course not. Or I would probably be my ideal weight. It was actually very close to Primal style, too, although a bit weak on the fat and meat. But I think deep inside, I knew what I needed to do -- to drink lots of water, to cut all sweets except for an occasional square of chocolate, to have wine maybe once a week, to continue fast walking and Pilates/strength training, to eat big salads for lunch, to include berries, nuts, and avocado, and to have chicken for meat mostly! I think I'm going to tinker to try to get close to what my inner me was telling me to eat for this week. So that's my goal for this week.

        analog6: Yes, I can totally see where the addiction to grains, etc. is like cocaine. *nods*


        • #5
          Good luck with your goals. I like your writing style, you would make a good novelist. Good luck with that. I struggle with grain addictions as well.


          • #6
            Originally posted by Analog6 View Post
            Once you give up grains you will lose the taste for those addictive (yes, they act on the same opiod receptors as heroin an cocaine - see Mark's recent post) wheat & sugar products. Your body will love you for it.

            Stay strong!
            This^^^ I gave up McDonalds and other fast food long before I took on Paleo, and the food started to taste like the chemicals they're made of when I decided to indulge. A break from it while eating real food will take care of that.

            I encourage you to stop looking at this as "never, ever again," with a deprivation mindset. We rebel against can't; it's much better to stay in the mindset of choose. After all, you are choosing to eat this certain way, and there will be times you choose to eat something off plan. I give myself permission to be imperfect, to have one meal each week (usually the night hubby and I go out to dinner) where I'm less strict, to strive for 8o0% and be okay with that. It's been very successful, and quite frankly, even with the permission I've given myself to eat off plan, I mostly don't. A few bites of hubby's dessert, some rice or potatoes, a bite or two of bread~that's the damage. Honestly, I now find potatoes and fries bland and strangely textured, bread is meh, and rice is just okay.

            I also have stayed off the scale because weight goes up and down for a hundred different reasons, especially for women, and *for me*, having that daily or weekly number would drive me to obsession. I choose this lifestyle because I feel better overall, and the weight will come off in its own time. I measure my progress by how I feel and how my clothes are fitting. I've dropped a size and a half since the beginning of January, but maybe the scale might only show 5 pounds. Heck, I do not care if the scale reads 10,000 pounds if I look and feel good, so what's the point?

            Keep breathing and look at this process as a marathon, not a sprint. Do your best does not mean be perfect.

            Good luck!
            I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


            • #7
              mystic: Thank you! And haha, I thought my writing was a bit careless in this post! Thanks for stopping by!

              BeachTeach: It's funny. Sometimes I crave McDonald's like crazy, but then when I actually have it, I feel disappointed and gross. Like part of me already knows it's bad for me. I just need to listen to that part and understand that the cravings are a separate thing.

              I like your attitude a lot on not expecting perfection. I tend to try to be perfectionist and then get disappointed when I inevitably have a failure. Then I think, "What's the point? This isn't sustainable for me." and then I try something else, like counting calories for awhile or intuitive eating, find out for the millionth time that THAT doesn't work either, go back to something like this, and the cycle continues. In no way do I stick with anything long enough to see success. Consistency has never been my forte.

              Good point about the scale. I am only weighing myself initially right now because I'm so distressed by seeing such an unusually high number for me on a somewhat consistent basis (after nearly a year averaging between 136-139 with 141 or 142 being upper-upper for me and only occasionally) that I really want to at least see it go down to the "norm" for me (which is still too heavy for me, mind you). Just since the holidays when I REALLY indulged hardcore, I have felt like I have this extra tire around my gut and it feels awful. Whether or not the scale moves, I want THAT feeling to go away.


              • #8
                Remember too that once you get to your goal, you don't have to give up those foods forever. Eating them on a regular basis : yes, but having a doughnut once a month isn't going to kill your primalness. That said, I experienced what a poster above mentioned: you really do lose your taste for many of the things that held you slave to it.
                FaceBook: PaleoMusings

                We get one shot at life, let's make it amazing


                • #9
                  I'm a moron. I meant to write the below information on this thread, not the other one that I wrote it on, so I apologize if this is a repeat to anyone!

                  I didn't feel bad today, even though I went a "little" off plan this evening.

                  Well, we shall see how I will pay for it tomorrow, lol.

                  B: coconut/almond pancakes (I saw the recipe somewhere in Paleo land -- 1/4 cup almond flour, 1/2 cup coconut milk, 2 eggs, a touch of vanilla, a pinch of baking soda) and some bacon for breakfast (this is a weekend treat, not an every day type breakfast).

                  L: Taco salad (paleo style). Ground beef with spices over lettuce, tomatoes, onion, and with salsa and guacamole. Yum! I had a square of dark-dark chocolate afterwards.

                  D: I ended up getting KFC for my dad (he's sooo picky) and then I went to a Chinese place and ordered steamed vegetables and hot sauce on the side for me. I had a little bit of rice (maybe 1/4 cup), the veggies, the hot sauce. Then I had about half of the hot and sour soup I ordered (I suspect there was some thickening agent in it so it was a cheat probably). I ended up having a few thin mint cookies for dessert (eep, that WAS a cheat) and 2 glasses of red wine.

                  So not great, but not as bad as I normally would go. I feel intensely satisfied. I have to understand that when I go to my parents' house, there WILL be cheating of some kind. It's just something I know I have to add into my plan.

                  Tomorrow I am going to take an online break and not be on this forum or any other that I frequent. i've decided to set "Self Control" all day so that I can't get on the internet. I have a lot of work to do on my day off! So I will see you all in a few days!


                  • #10
                    Even though I said I wasn't coming on today (and trust me, I am about to shut down the internet for myself for the day, as it is only 6 a.m., lol), I wanted to report that despite having a less than ideal night last night, I dropped weight!

                    Yesterday: 144.0
                    Today: 142.8
                    Loss: 1.2
                    Total loss: 1.6

                    My first mini goal is 138, which is where I was before the holidays. I'm hoping to be there in a few weeks, maybe sooner if some of this freaking extra weight isn't just water retention of some kind...4.8 pounds to go until there!


                    • #11
                      Yay for the weight loss!

                      I just wanted to say that going to your parents' house doesn't *have* to mean an automatic cheat. My husband's dad is very anti-paleo (he's a Dean Ornish guy who somehow works in tons of Ovaltine and no veggies in his mind), and usually all that's available is processed/sugar/wheat/corn. So I just bring my own food. My hubby too, as he's pescatarian, and they always serve meat (in a sauce, in a tortilla). We socialize together, FIL knows just to STFU about what we're eating, and life is good. I bought two sets of glass containers for food mostly for work lunches and leftovers, and I just pack up our food and take it with.

                      You can still bring your dad KFC, but then you just heat up your meal. For me, I want my off plan eating to be worth it. The half a flourless dark chocolate chipotle cake with salted caramel and creme fraiche that came with my prix fixe meal during restaurant week was *more* than worth it. A Snickers or something like that? Nah, I'll pass.

                      Just wanted to point out that you do have choices.
                      I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


                      • #12
                        Another 40-something shorty who moved back to their hometown after a long sad story? Hey, that's me too!
                        We're probably about the same shape as well, i'm just a little shorter

                        Looking forward to following your new happy success story!
                        Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
                        Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
                        "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick


                        • #13
                          So, a day off the internet really did me good! I got a lot of other stuff done and got to read a lot. I'm sad that I have to go back to work tomorrow. I wish every week was a three-day weekend! I really do feel like the first two days are just flailing and trying to adjust to not being stressed, and only in the third day do I start feeling relaxed and actually accomplishing things I want to do. *sigh*

                          So eating today:
                          B: coconut-almond-banana pancakes, 1 piece bacon, 1 sausage (no nitrates or cured, either of them)
                          L: Salad, take-out Indian food -- chicken bhuna (a dry curry). I know there's some risk of thickening agents being used in it and that makes me sad because I love-love-love curries. I think it's not as likely in a dry curry. At least I hope not. I did have like a tiny-tiny bite of naan. The naan they gave me was ENORMOUS, probably enough carbs to last me a year. I tore off a piece smaller than my palm (and I have TINY hands) and put the rest in the freezer in small portions.
                          D: the rest of the bhuna, a few cashews, 1 glass of red wine

                          Walked 4 miles at a brisk pace. It took me 1 hour and ten minutes. I did Jillian Michael's 30-day shred DVD but skipped the three ab workouts (did the plank during one of them and did yoga stretches during the other two). Basically the 30-day shred is a circuit workout that involves a lot of strength training with dumb bells, push-ups, and brief spurts of cardio. I like it, and it's a good workout. I am usually exhausted afterwards.

                          Otter: HI! Another shortie, yay! I would even get to loooom over you, haha.

                          BeachTeach: Thank you! Yes, just to clarify, I did not have the KFC (ick). You're right -- that would NOT have been a worth-it cheat. It's just complicated with food at my parents' house. It's all fraught-- and well, that's just an issue I have, nothing that anyone is forcing on me. It's like there's all this food there that I don't buy for myself and I just feel tempted and easily swayed when I'm there. This doesn't happen when I'm visiting other people, just my parents. Weird! Definitely something I need to tackle! Also, my mom is WEIRD about my food issues. She's always quick to jump on whatever I'm doing, like she thinks I will become too obsessed and that gaining weight is an inevitable part of getting older and I should accept that (NOOOO!).


                          • #14
                            Congrats on making a positive change. I started about a year ago and there were slip ups in the beginning. I had to focus on the awesome stuff I could have and not the stuff I could not. I also loved chips and salsa. Salsa is one of my favorites, so I dip celery in it instead. I ate too many of the primal.snacks people warn you to eat in moderation, such as nuts and fruit. But it was still better than donuts or candy. Each day I did well I rewarded myself with a square of dark chocolate. Then I started to settle in and fine tune. Don't beat yourself up if it isn't always perfect. I have lost almost 50 lbs and most of all, I feel fantastic. Hang in there.


                            • #15
                              So I know that I did not eat perfectly this weekend. In fact I ate out a lot (with take out food) and had some high caloric things like those pancakes I like to make on the weekend and did not eat enough vegetables.

                              And so why do I feel so angry and surprised that my weight is up this morning?

                              Yesterday it was 142.8

                              Part of the anger centers around this: You have to understand that from about mid-January 2011 to December 2011, my weight was primarily in the 130's, with an occasional and brief stretch into the lower 140s. NOW, ever since January 2012, it's been full on the 140s and I can't seem to get out of there. I'm really freaked out by my body right now! Also I've been eating a lot more meat this year, and I wonder if that's a contributing factor (I was a mostly vegetarian before where I ate fish and a VERY occasional bit of chicken and no red meat).

                              There could be so many factors. Is it the increase in exercise and my muscles being a bit stiff and sore? Is it just eating too much? Have I added too much fat to my diet? Is it too many cheat days in January/early February? Too many last suppers? Too much inconsistency and indecision about what I want to do? Have I just not yet found the thing that will work for ME? I'm not used to my weight absolutely CLINGING to the 140s. Usually when I see my weight creep up to this point, I stop eating sugar or make a few changes, exercise more and it usually flies right back down into the upper 130s. Which. Again. 130s is still too heavy for me. I need to be somewhere between 110 and 120 for my height and frame. But I'm really getting freaked by my body recently wanting to cling to a higher weight. Is it a magical turning point with my age? It's weird. Ever since January I've felt like this extra layer over my upper and lower abdomen and it's really scaring me.

                              So I need to get serious. *sigh* I hate getting too serious about food because it takes all the fun out of eating. But I do not want to go quietly into being flabby. I won't do it.

                              Sixtoesgirl: Thank you for your encouragement. I need all the positive success stories I can find right now, lol. I'm feeling so icky-flabby this morning!