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This Time It Will Stick...A 40=something woman tries Primal

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  • #61
    145.8 today, it's a miracle, haha.

    Yesterday I done relatively well. Finally. I handled a social situation without that self-sabotage need. Part of it was fate. There were no deserts and no homemade bread so no temptation there. The food was healthy and whole, albeit not primal (lentil soup). Except for some chips that went with the salsa and homemade hummus. I actually brought a mini vegetable tray to share although nobody else was interested in it. So I mostly indulged my urge to munch and dip (ha, I'm a sucker for dips), by eating raw vegetables. Psychologically this works just as well for me, so this is a good strategy to use from now on at social gatherings. Bring my own veggie tray and salsa or indulge in mostly (80 percent?) the veggies if there already is one.

    Today should go well. I'm somewhat worried about the evening. It's parent-teacher conferences at my school and it will be a LONG day. That is, I'll pretty much go non-stop until 8 p.m. or even a little later. The PTA usual provides dinner and we can grab it in between conferences, but I have NO idea what kind of food it will be. Sometimes it's awesome and wholesome and healthy with healthy choices, and other times it has been horrible, like with processed treats and nothing at all healthy. So I am bringing some extra food with me just in case there are no healthy choices.

    Also I've not had as much wine this week. Mostly this is due not so much to will power but to schedule (too much going on this week), but I'm still proud that really I only had one glass of wine on Tuesday evening, that's it. That's WAY better than my 2 glass a day habit that has been usual this year!


    • #62

      Yay! I'm actually very pleased. Last week I was 146.8, so it's a week loss of 1.6 pounds. AND a total loss of 6 pounds since that all-time high of 151.2! I'd be very satisfied if it keeps at that rate. Especially because this week was so incredibly "off" for me!

      Today is my day to eat a little looser. I'm meeting some friends for dinner tonight at one of my favorite restaurants.

      I'm thinking about a fast of some kind on Saturday. Then on Sunday I will eat light but not my usual exacting plan of Monday through THursday.

      But this is a miracle. I got through this week! I got through Halloween and several special events (some of which involved food) without gaining weight or going off plan too much.

      Yesterday was parent-teacher conferences at my school. The PTA provided chili and there were lots of sweets. I had a small bowl of the chili, some raw veggies with dip, and that's it. I had like ONE bite, literally, of a brownie. I was so proud of myself. I was really hungry by the end of the day, but that's okay. Hunger means weight loss.

      I only had wine on Tuesday night this week! I plan to have some tonight.


      • #63

        Not surprising, I'm not upset. I'll take it. Yesterday was my "free" day. I ate whatever I wanted. Not big quantities of anything, but I did not restrict myself. I ended up going out for both lunch and dinner, too. I ate lightly, but still. Sodium, some legumes, grains. I did have a cookie earlier in the day, too. And some dark-chocolate covered pretzels. And wine.

        I gotta tell you. It felt great. I mean, what it is, is that it feels REALLY good finally being able to have the will power to eat very clean most days of the week now and then having a day when I just don't have to think about eating clean. This was NOT something I was able to do in the past. In an ideal world, I would eventually banish the free day (and I am going to try to make more and more days between them - probably after the holidays)

        Today I am doing sort of a fast. I am fasting until maybe 1 p.m. today. At that time I will eat a hearty soup, some eggs and bacon to a total of around 500 cals. I will then fast the rest of today through tomorrow morning.

        My plan for the coming week: eat pretty light and clean on Sunday, on Monday through Thursday eat super clean and light (as per my usual schedule on those days). Friday eat as clean as possible (possibly do like today with about 500 cals mid day and that's it), Saturday have more of a free day (it's my niece's b-day party), Sunday eat light and clean. I'm excited! I think I can do this.


        • #64

          Down a bit from yesterday. I mostly fasted except for lunch. At lunch I had 2 eggs, 3 slices bacon, and a tomato-based soup with chicken and vegetables. Later in the evening I had a half apple. That's it.

          Today I plan to eat "normal" but light.


          • #65

            Again, I'm not upset. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised. I ate fried shrimp and barbecue sauce and a lot of wine last night. I was actually surprised that I wasn't way up to 149 again.

            I can't seem to get rid of this calf injury in my left calf and it's really bothering me because I'd like to increase the number of days I run and add in the HIIT. I don't think I should while that injury is going on. I think the real only solution is to stop running for awhile again, but Ugh, I don't want to do that now that I feel in shape with my running again and it makes me FEEL slim. I already took a whole month off. I don't want to have to take TWO months off. Forget about it. I guess I'll have to if the injury gets worse, but we'll just play it by ear.

            So game plan this week: very strict Monday through Thursday with my usual diet of smoothie in morning, big salad at lunch, and stirfry at night. No carbs outside of veggies and fruit. Running or gym Tuesday and Thursday. Friday still very light eating, but I will have less control over my diet that day, so I will just try to eat as veg-and-protein centric as possible (work is providing lunch for a meeting on Friday and then I am leaving town with other family members after work and they will want to stop somewhere for dinner). Saturday I will let myself loose. Again, not a binge-fest, but I will eat what I want, as it's my niece's b-day party. Sunday, again, I'll be a little looser, but still try to eat light. I should be able to. Will be traveling home that day. I won't be able to weigh myself on Saturday or Sunday. I don't mind not weighing on Sunday so much as the number will be high, but I would REALLY like to weigh myself on Saturday. Am considering being nerdy enough to bring my scale out of town...But then it might not read well on a new surface. Hmm...

            Two Mondays ago I was 151.2. Last Monday I was 148.6. So 147 is okay and on a trend downward. I hope to hit 144.something OR even better, 143.something by the end of the week (as I know I'm bloated a few pounds with water weight right now so that's possible after a few days of eating clean and drinking tons of water).


            • #66

              I'm so impatient to get past the 145+ numbers. If I think too hard about it, it's SUPER surreal. Last year at this time, I would have cried if I had known that for even a day I would hit these numbers, much less settle in for months and months over 145! It's just crazy, really. For years I complained about being stuck in the upper 130s. Oh, I would KISS the scale if I was at the 130s anything again, haha. Tomorrow I could break the 145 if I drop enough water weight today. Problem is, my muscles are sore from Sunday AND yesterday I didn't drink enough water (I have a long 12 hour + day on Mondays). I ate on plan and so my weight still went down, but there usually seems to be a bigger drop mid week. We'll see! Last week it happened on Wednesday (2 pounds over night) but this week it might be Thursday or even Friday because my last off plan meal was Sunday night instead of Saturday night (like last weeK).

              Gosh, this journal is probably incredibly boring. But that's what these journals are. Self-indulgent recordings about what works and what doesn't, haha. I know what I'm doing is working. I feel better, my pants were looser yesterday, etc. Now if I could just get this running injury to go away completely....

              Also I'm invited to some get together on Wednesday evening again, so I would like to see -- if I end up going, will I be able to stay away from everything but the veggie tray? The suspense builds...


              • #67

                I'm down but not far enough for me, eep. And tonight I will be going to a party where I don't know if I'm going to be able to control my intake. But I AM getting better at this because I'm on a role and want to see a lower number. I know I'll make choices at this party.


                • #68

                  I think I might rock. Just a little. Again, for the second week in a row, my weight went DOWN after a social event/party. This time I did have a few glasses of wine. I did have some things I normally wouldn't have had (YUMmmmm...homemade bean dip, a few bites of pasta, etc.), but I really made sure to stay away from anything sweet and then I mostly covered my plate with veggies from the veggie tray I had brought. (again, *pats self on back for good party strategy of bringing a veggie tray to share and then eating most of it myself*)

                  So I broke 145 already and today is another strict day, so we'll see what my Friday weigh-in is. I will be eating pretty light on Friday, but I will not get to weigh in on Saturday unless I take my scale with me, as I'll be out of town this weekend. But I'll be interested in seeing if my weight drops tomorrow. A miracle would be down into the 143.something, but I think I'm pushing things, haha.


                  • #69
                    Way to go, olehcat! 139 is right around the corner.


                    • #70
                      Today: 144.8, holding steady, haha.

                      Well, I did have soup with some sodium in it, although I ate very strict yesterday.

                      So I just completed about 3 weeks of being VERY strict Monday through Thursday (er...except for two Wednesdays in a row of off plan parties, both of which I didn't do too poorly at), not worrying about things Friday, some fasting on Saturday, light eating but not totally strict on Sunday.

                      Starting weight: 151.2
                      Current weight: 144.8
                      Total loss: 6.4

                      Last week: 145.2
                      This week: 144.8
                      Loss: .4

                      So the weekly loss may be slowing down a bit, especially wheN I'm being a little too loosey-goosey on weekends. Tomorrow, alas, will be no exception to that, as it's my niece's b-day party, but I AM bringing my veggie tray and hope I'll mostly fill up on that.

                      I think starting Monday, I'm going to try to be VERY strict until Thanksgiving. I think I can do this. It will be about 10 days, and it will be HARD for instant-gratification me.

                      Diaogenes: THANK YOU!!!! I'm feeling pretty good about my success so far...


                      • #71
                        Eep, things may be eh after this weekend...I'm eating stuff I definitely normally don't allow, even on most weekend days, but I hope I will not pay too dearly for it. Tomorrow am planning on being as good as gold. And then Monday, of course, it's back to being super strict and hope to do so until Thanksgiving...*crosses toes and fingers* By Thanksgiving am hoping to be in lower 140s.


                        • #72

                          Yikes, almost up 4 pounds from Friday morning. Well, let's just say that there's no huge surprises here. Here's what happened. First of all, today is the last day of my "cycle" (I don't have periods any more because I'm on medication to stop them for a lot of reasons, but I do have some minor symptoms and bloating at the very end of my hormone pill cycle every month, and the last few days were the last few days of the pill cycles). So that could explain a little of the bloating.

                          But most, I admit, is because of me. Friday, I had hoped to eat very clean in anticipation of Saturday, but clean was not the word. I didn't eat a whole lot of food, but I did eat things I shouldn't have, including pizza at lunch (provided by our boss) and some cookies. If that was the only day of chowing down, then I would have been okay, but the problem is, I went on to eat like crazy on Saturday. And I ate whatever. Some things were deliberately healthy, but other things not so much. I could also TASTE the sodium bloating me up.

                          So yesterday was a recovery day, and I ate pretty well most of the day.

                          So let's see how well I recover this week. I am heavier this Monday than last Monday but the hormones could play a role AND I did eat more over this past weekend than last weekend. So some of it could be real weight, but most of it is just water retention, I'm guessing. But I know for a fact that there's no way that I gained 4 REAL pounds over the weekend, so I anticipate that with clean eating the next few days and LOTS of water that I can wash it all out. I hope that by Friday I am 143.something, but that is going to take a LOT of discipline this week, like keeping sodium relatively low, etc.

                          Then this weekend I am NOT going to have a loosey-goosey day. I am going to hold out until Thanksgiving. Yep, I can do this!


                          • #73
                            146.8 - still up but going down, if that makes sense!

                            I didn't eat much yesterday. I took the day off work because I felt so bone-tired and was getting a bad headache and so figured I might be coming down with something, which is bad on a day when I have work, then a 3 hour class, then a 2 hour writer critique group all in one day. Well, so I took the work day off, went to the other two things and I was fine. But there was no time to eat anything besides a banana the rest of the day once I set off for class!

                            I'm SO trying not to be frustrated with myself. I know I have these tendencies to throw everything aside for social events that involve food. I know that at these events I lose control a lot of times and can't stay out of the bad-for-me foods like chips and dip or pizza or cupcakes or things I just plain shouldn't be eating any more, much less like there's no tomorrow.

                            I know that these "free days" are the reason my weight loss is so slow. But I know that psychologically right now I need them or I will throw everything away. Also, I don't think I could take it if I gave up all those things and then my weight loss was slow or non-existent. So my way of being more extreme during the week seems to work out well, but I haven't found a good solution to really eradicate stuff like doughnuts all together, because seriously, I just shouldn't be eating that crap, period.

                            So I'm trying to be kind to myself and realize that this is a process.

                            Yesterday I made the best shrimp stir fry in the world, but I ended up feeling guilty because I did use about 2 teaspoons of cornstarch. I just wanted to see what it would taste like. I know cornstarch is a HUGE no-no but it did taste good and I wish I could have it every day. This is what's so hard. I need to become at peace with the fact that I can choose to be chunky as I approach my middle age or I can choose to get rid of these problem foods and be an ideal weight for me. It's all a choice, but damn, why can't I just discover a pill that lets me eat whatever I want and be healthy and my ideal weight? Why does it have to be such a damn struggle ALL THE TIME, every day. I wish I could be one of those people that just forgets to eat or just doesn't care about food.

                            Sorry, this sounds more depressed than it actually is but I'm REALLY tired of hovering above 145. I hit 144.8 on Friday and have eaten well for two days in a row so I want the water weight to GO AWAY sooner rather than later so I can get down below 145 again. I WILL NOT and WILL NOT keep losing and gaining the same two or three pounds again and again as what has been happening since the summer. I will take my pictures and measurements at the end of the month.

                            BEtween September and October there was an embarrassing lack of progress. Maybe only a difference of 2 pounds in weight and my measurements barely changed. Now I've been working a lot harder at it this month, so I expect it should be better, but if I can't break this 145 area by the end of the month, that will mean I can only lose 2 pounds a month and that's with all this obsessing. I HAVE to change something about me because I know that part of the problem is all these "special events" in my life where I let myself eat what I want for a day and then it takes 4 or 5 days just to recover. SIGH. I want it all and it's just not possible.

                            I wish I knew what other people did to change their attitudes. I need a BIG change of attitude, especially to get me through the holidays. How in the heck am I going to get through December with holiday parties and those damn cookies that only come up once a year that I love so much? That was the beginning of the end for me last year, the beginning of that insidious weight gain that I've never recovered from.

                            Sorry, I'm sounding very rambly and not making logical sense, so it's just a brain dump, I'm afraid!

                            Onward to the day!


                            • #74
                              144.8 - whoo hoo!

                              That's what I was at my low last week. This time I do not have any sort of obligation today that will get in the way or tempt me. The last two Wednesdays I've had social events that involved food I wasn't planning on and/or alcohol.

                              My next plan is to really get my running into gear from now through the holidays. No, I don't believe in chronic cardio, but I do know that when I'm running regularly (4-5 times a week) and with some HIIT thrown in, I am able to get away with more slip-ups. I do not plan on tons of slip-ups, but I do know that realistically? They will happen.

                              Yesterday I made primal chili. It was very yummy. Sort of took from a variety of recipes I found online, but mostly just added beef (pieces of steak cut up PLUS ground beef), onion, green pepper, tomatoes, fresh salsa, chili peppers, jalapenos, broth, spices, etc. It was REALLY yummy. So I have that for the rest of the week!


                              • #75
                                143.2 this morning!! omg, way better than I hoped. And I still have one more day before an "official" weigh-in (Fridays).

                                I think some of the things that have contributed to a faster loss this week (besides getting rid of water weight from the weekend), was that my hormonal medication changed. I'm on these pills to stop my period, and back in June they changed names. The pharmacist said they were exactly the same, but my body said otherwise. I had some cramping and bloating and then while I can't blame it for the ten-pound gain this past summer (THAT I easily blame on the divorce stress and eating out like ALL THE TIME and then going on a 3 week vacation and eating freely), it may have contributed some water weight. Anyway, the formula changed just this month. Since I've been taking the last few days' worth of pills, my weight has whooshed downward. It could TOTALLY be coincidence. I don't know. But it could be one factor. The other factor is I switched the morning smoothie that had fruit, kale, and some protein powder over to a more primal breakfast of bacon and veggies (with one egg). Far more delicious and satisfying. The other thing is that I'm starting HIIT with my running. I've only done that one day so I can't totally say that's a contributing factor, but we'll see.

                                I don't really care because I LOVE the whoosh!

                                143! I don't think I've seen that since last May some time! I really hope I've left the 148s, 149s, etc. in the dust!