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  • Don't wanna be fat, but want to be pregnant

    Strange title I know but its how I feel. My kiddo is 3 as of today, I am soooo ready for another one but I am also tired of being fat. They say you shouldn't diet while pregnant but I don't consider this a diet, eating real food is not a diet. My back story is this: in 06 or so I was a vegetarian/vegan then had a child in 09, he was getting hives when he started solids at 7 months so I searched and searched for what it could be, turns out he was having reactions to corn, soy and gluten. So we found MDA and decided to make the switch. We did wonderful on the primal diet, hubby had lots of progress lost like 40 pounds, was able to stop taking his 2 prilosecs a day, I lost weight, not as much as I would have liked until I quit breastfeeding my son when he was 2 1/2 years old. But anyway he was thriving and once I stopped nursing him I got down to 133 lbs and ran my first 5k, the warrior dash at copper mountain in August of 2011. I gotta tell you it was the greatest feeling ever to finish that race. I started primal on march 7th of 2010 at 186 lbs (I think, don't remember exactly but pretty sure I was around 180-190) I ran my race at 133, and even though I still felt fat, and was still bigger than I would have liked and had a poochy tummy I felt like I was on top of the world. I had got to where I could do 4 pullups at a time, had no problem doing squats, pushups, lunges and of course I was able to run, as a former fatass and smoker of over 2 packs of camel wides a day I was happy. I had surgery for a hernia on my c-section line a week after my race and lost everything. Like seriously I can't even do one pullups anymore, I am back up to 160 pounds, I can't keep on the primal diet. I feel like a failure. On new years my family decided to go on gaps diet to help heal my husbands food allergies. Well the kid hated it, he hated it and as much as I don't want to admit it, I fucking hated it too. So after a month we gave that up and decided to go back to primal. So here I am. I have waited to post this and to go back fully on primal until all the birthday cake was gone from my sons party. I am ready to do this and I feel that this is the right time for me to try again. My husband and I have decided that we are going to start trying to have another baby, I want one but really I know he's not sold on the idea. This is turning out to be a rant so I will just stop now, but to finish it out I will list my goals, first and foremost I want to get healthy, get rid of some of my extra body fat and eat as primal as I can. I want to run a few 5ks this year and I would like to expand my family as soon as possible. I do include dairy and peanut butter in my idea of primal (although to get rid of fat I'm going to need to stop eating nuts for a while).

    Please excuse all typos, I will mostly be adding to this thread on my phone and sometimes it hates me!

    Now to go to sleep so I can get some sleep and start a whole new day tomorrow.
    Last edited by Fern; 02-13-2012, 02:51 PM.
    My blog - About me, my family, and my hobbies!

    *Please ignore my horrible typing and grammar I am usually typing it all on my very uncooperative phone*

  • #2
    Hi Fern. You got it right when you said it's not a diet, just healthy eating.
    Ancestral Health Info

    I design websites and blogs for a living. If you would like a blog or website designed by someone who understands Primal, see my web page.

    Primal Blueprint Explorer My blog for people who are not into the Grok thing. Since starting the blog, I have moved close to being Archevore instead of Primal. But Mark's Daily Apple is still the best source of information about living an ancestral lifestyle.

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    • #3
      I slept great last night, woke up today and made breakfast, 2 farm fresh eggs (I raise my own chickens), a pork chop - it wasn't very good because I burnt it and well I suck at cooking so I burn everything, and 3 small slices of cheese. I also had a cup of tea - a peach black tea blend that I LOVE with about 1/2 teaspoon honey in it and for some reason I am STARVING, really I feel like I am about to die of hunger and I know that there is no way in hell I ate all that food at 9 am and feel so hungry at 10:45 am. I think its just my need to always be eating something. I will power though the cravings, and hopefully today I can get a short jog in, do some squats and stuff. Tomorrow a friend told me she was going to come over and workout with me, she has been saying that for at least the last 2 years so I am not counting it, but I will be proud of myself if I get off my own ass and do something.
      My blog - About me, my family, and my hobbies!

      *Please ignore my horrible typing and grammar I am usually typing it all on my very uncooperative phone*

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      • #4
        When I first started primal I felt really hungry around 10AM, eating around 9 or earlier. I just hydrate through it and over time it stopped happening. Keeping busy definitely helps too!
        Depression Lies

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        • #5
          Yesterday turned out to be a shitty ass day. for lunch I had a banana with about a tablespoon of peanut butter, some dehydrated onion cracker things (not 100% primal, they have soy sauce in them) 2 hard boiled eggs and some sour creme to dip the crackers into. Then right as I was about to put the kiddo down so that I could do my run my husband called and was going to the er because he was afraid his lung was collapsing - he has had lots of issues with his lung so it was a valid concern - off to the er I went with the very tired kiddo. His lung was not collapsing he is just sick and so its harder for him to breathe than it should be. They gave him a prescription for a few different things, all we got filled was the cough syrup so he could sleep at night. Finally get home at 7 pm, I made left over ribs for dinner, had a few lil smokie things with it, beelers brand so I think they are uncured and not to bad taste wise, hubby like them a LOT more than I do and had a medium sized salad with dinner also. I ate way more than I should have. In fact right after dinner I had a bad headache and remembered that I had not had ANY water all day so I took my vitamins with water and then drank 2 more glasses... not a good idea, felt like I was going to puke for the next 2 hours. So today I have decided to not do that and take the vitamins at lunch and drink water before 8 pm.

          Breakfast today was 2 slices of uncured bacon, and a 2 1/2 egg omelet with broccoli and cauliflower, and cheese. And now I am having a cup of tea with a bit of honey and some milk. for lunch I plan on just eating a few eggs so that I don't overeat before my friend comes over to workout (if she even wants to). Dinner will be green chili sloppers with a veggie. I do however thicken my chilie with potatoes because I would rather do that than flour or cornstarch, and really a potato is a lot better for you than either of those options. And regardless of if my friend wants to workout or not I will be doing the Al Kavadlo beginner work out, a long time ago I could do it with ease but now I struggle with it. I really need to hurry up and read convict conditioning so I can also start that workout. I don't feel like I do lunges right, it bugs me but I don't even have anyone I know who is knowledgeable enough to help me work on my form.
          My blog - About me, my family, and my hobbies!

          *Please ignore my horrible typing and grammar I am usually typing it all on my very uncooperative phone*

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          • #6
            I stuck to the above diet plan pretty well, I did add in a bit of 88% dark chocolate, a banana, and a piece of my home made peanut butter caramels, they are about 1 tablespoon nut butter and 1 tablespoon honey so not disastrous but not exactly the best thing in the world. I did have an amazing workout, I did 5 sets of the Al Kavadlo beginner workout with my friend (she actually showed up!) and I was very proud of myself, I did all my squats and lunges slow and controlled while she was just banging them out as quick as she could using all the momentum she had to just get it done. Thats what I used to do when I worked out with her years ago, I much prefer my way of doing it now. I saw on the fitness part of this forum a thread on crossfitting and looked at a link in it where it shows the "babes of crossfit" or something like that. OH MY GOD I want to look like that so bad. I looked up my local crossfit gym that just opened and I gotta say I am not at all impressed, maybe I am missing something but they are linked with a place that pushes the HGC diet. Not at all what I expected and honestly $85 a month + $20 a trip in gas money to get there and back just does not sound like anything I want to get myself into. SO I think when it warms up a bit more outside I will build me some outdoor equipment like they have and I will work on saving my dollars up to purchase me some kettle bells and weights, I have a few but I would like one of those long bar things that they use (I don't even know what they are called) and some better hand barbells, hmm I wonder if kettle bells would work for those too. I will have to do some research on that.

            Tomorrow I hope to get a run in, and maybe see what I can do with the weights I have, and also want to build a jump box. I feel so motivated! And I want to eat really good tomorrow also. I am thinking bacon and eggs for breakfast, salad for lunch and maybe some salmon for dinner...

            So I talked to my husband and he has finally decided that we should start trying to have another baby after all, so now we are actively trying. I am so thrilled but at the same time I am so scared. I guess whatever happens will be what was meant to be.
            My blog - About me, my family, and my hobbies!

            *Please ignore my horrible typing and grammar I am usually typing it all on my very uncooperative phone*

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            • #7
              So I changed the title of my journal, I feel like I need to keep more positive than dwelling on the negitive of my weight issues. The weekend was a great weekend, not a primal weekend, but my husband and I decided to celebrate valentines day over the weekend rather than on Tuesday so we splurged, ate crap that honestly shouldn't even be considered food. But now its Monday and I am back to whole foods. I have eaten a bit to much fruit today but I don't think that its as bad as eating strange oils and wheat.

              For breakfast today I had Bacon and eggs, with a bowl of green chili, a few nuts for a snack some grapes, and then an Apple and peanut butter. For dinner I am going to make meetza and hot wings with salad. I want to do a workout but I can barely move because I have some mystery pain in my lower abdomen, hip area. I am hoping its pain from the egg implanting but I am honestly very unsure of if I can even become pregnant this month. So we might need to try again next month... Kinda makes me sad. But everything happens for a reason.
              My blog - About me, my family, and my hobbies!

              *Please ignore my horrible typing and grammar I am usually typing it all on my very uncooperative phone*

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              • #8
                I figured out that my pain was in fact ovulation so tonight would be the *perfect* night to try to get pregnant, I was so very excited about it, put the kiddo to bed early, got myself all geared up and hubby now says he feels sick because he ate a whole bunch of sugar today. I'm going to go cry now...
                My blog - About me, my family, and my hobbies!

                *Please ignore my horrible typing and grammar I am usually typing it all on my very uncooperative phone*

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                • #9
                  I seriously feel like a spoiled brat who isn't getting her way so she's going to be a bitch all day to everyone because of it. I just feel so pissed off at my husband, we first decided we would start trying for a baby in January. During the month of January I felt so happy, I was set on having an October baby, the thought of it felt so magical to me. As dumb as that sounds it did. So when he wouldn't even... Ummm.... *try* to get me pregnant it crushed me and we ended up fighting about it. Our original deal was: he wants a .50 cal rifle, well they are like $4000 fucking dollars so I told him that he can have his rifle when I get to have my second baby. He came home one day and told me that he decided that he will be buying one by November, I said great that means we gotta start trying to concieve in January. He agreed. Then January came and like I said above he wasn't even trying. So then I asked him how he was going to feel come November when I told him he couldn't buy his gun. So February he starts trying, but because he thinks I know nothing about my fertility cycle as soon as it matters that he needs to attempt to get nt pregnant he decides he wants to pullout and then gets sick the next critical day that matters. After the disappointment of January I really had my hopes up for a early November birth with the possibility of a late October birth. Now I'm seriously pissed off and wanting to cry at the same time. I don't want a baby on thanksgiving, I don't want my child to have to compete with the fucking holidays on their birthdays. My brothers birthday is December 29th and he has always got slighted on his birthday because Christmas is 4 days before it. That's bullshit and I don't want to go through it. So because of all this and me feeling like a bitch I don't want to get out of bed, don't want to cook fucking breakfast, don't give a shit if he has a water bottle or snack for work and I don't give a fuck about making him dinner. I know this is probably not the way to feel about it but I can't help it. I have been reading the Dr. Laura book called the proper care and feeding of husbands (it was recommend to someone else in another thread) and by yer point of view I am probably not the greatest wife, I know this, but I also feel he needs to do some more to give me what I want too and he doesn't. Oh well rant is over for now, as much as I want to sit here and be pissed off I've got a child to care for so I need to get up and care for him.

                  Plans for food for the day:
                  Breakfast, Bacon and eggs with freshly pressed carrot juice
                  Lunch: leftover meatza
                  Dinner: no clue yet
                  My blog - About me, my family, and my hobbies!

                  *Please ignore my horrible typing and grammar I am usually typing it all on my very uncooperative phone*

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                  • #10
                    I don't want a baby on thanksgiving, I don't want my child to have to compete with the fucking holidays on their birthdays. My brothers birthday is December 29th and he has always got slighted on his birthday because Christmas is 4 days before it. That's bullshit and I don't want to go through it.
                    To be able to bring a healthy child into the world and give it a loving home is a great gift that not everyone has the opportunity to share. While your concerns over "slighting" the child have their validity, it's really a rather small point in the bigger scheme.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
                      To be able to bring a healthy child into the world and give it a loving home is a great gift that not everyone has the opportunity to share. While your concerns over "slighting" the child have their validity, it's really a rather small point in the bigger scheme.
                      I agree, there is nothing more important than the baby being healthy and being in a loving home. I am being very petty over the whole thing. I have lots of friends who have children born between Thanksgiving and New years and all of them complain that the child feels left out, more than half the kids and people they invite to birthdays don't come, people give one gift and put on it "Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday" I really just don't want to have my child go through that. If that's when I have a baby then I will still be so grateful to have that child. I think I am more than anything just pissed off at my husband for only giving it half the effort he told me he would and I am pissed off at my body because it hasn't allowed me to get pregnant yet. But yeah I am being like a 5 year old that is throwing a tantrum because I am not getting what I want. I see people struggle for years with not being able to have a baby and I honestly fear that will happen to me. I told my husband my fears about not being able to have another child and he kept telling me oh just watch as soon as we start that first month you will be pregnant and that's not happening, mostly because I feel he is not trying. I have done everything I can to help start the fund of $4,000 for a gun for him but he is not at ALL returning the favor and I feel like its intentional. Maybe I am just having a poor me day I don't know. I don't mean to offend anyone with my rant but I so had my heart set of being pregnant by the end of January and now that I have to wait til march to try again I am very sad about it.
                      My blog - About me, my family, and my hobbies!

                      *Please ignore my horrible typing and grammar I am usually typing it all on my very uncooperative phone*

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                      • #12
                        I think I know why yesterday was such a horrible day, I'm sick, like really sick and I never get sick so I'm having a really hard time dealing with it. By dinner time last night I was convinced I had strep throat, could not sleep at all last night, today I had a headache all fucking day, my throat ark hurts and the only thing that seems to help is throat tea with honey. I even made a tea that had cayanne peppers and vinegar in it to see if it helped but if didn't. Really its no reason to act like a spoiled bitch but oh well today was another today and as my son says tomorrow is a whole new day. I did eat pretty good today, had a slice of leftover meatza for breakfast, an Apple and peanut butter for lunch, q small bunch of grapes and some nuts for a snack and turkey burgers with cauliflower, green chili and fresh veggies for dinner. Now I am just waiting to go to bed so hopefully my body can heal some more, that is of course if I can sleep tonight. I can't wait to do a workout but I need to wait til I feel a bit better. Hopefully in a few days.
                        My blog - About me, my family, and my hobbies!

                        *Please ignore my horrible typing and grammar I am usually typing it all on my very uncooperative phone*

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