Well, let's see if this journaling for the public thing works.
Yesterday was not so great a day mentally and my mood spilled over and affected the physical overly much, so I'm looking for a way to keep myself accountable no matter what's going on in my head--because of course I feel better both mentally and physically if I hold myself physically accountable.
Some background basics healthwise: At the moment I'm a bit of a mess. Forty-one, 5'5, 265 (down from 290ish prior to a couple acute illnesses, some unpleasant drug side effects, and going low-carb back in mid-November, but now stalled). Female. Lifetime yo-yo dieter and emotional eater. Diagnosed diabetic in November with a fasting blood glucose of 350-something--walked into the doctor's office with depression, fatigue, and immune system concerns, but wasn't exactly surprised by the diabetes (though I was--and still am--terribly upset). Mother and numerous 2nd degree relatives are diabetic. Blood pressure at last doctor's visit, 180/90. Also diagnosed with "fatty liver" through poor liver values and ultrasound. I haven't decided what I think about cholesterol readings yet, but they're neither diabetic ideals nor total disasters, so I'm just going to wait to worry about them, I've got bigger problems right now. Medications: Taking citalopram 20 mg (aka Celexa, an SSRI--seems to work to some extent, if only as an elaborate placebo effect); glipizide XL 5 mg (stimulates insulin production--not sure if it's "working"/right dose yet); lisonpril 20 mg (an ACE inhibitor for high BP--worked so well at first I felt dizzy on standing, now self-readings are high again--appointment in two weeks). Primary health goal would be to get off all medication--but if I can't, I can't, esp. where the blood pressure is concerned--it's a pretty strong family trait. I believe in both science and common sense, and I hope to abandon neither.
Lifestyle/interest background: High school English teacher, so of course I do a good deal of reading and writing. I love my job, though it's definitely my job and not my entire life. Despite lack of fitness, I am a fan and participant in outdoor activities, and until the last two years I was fairly active in my daily life (one of those "healthy fat people" until it all caught up with me). I have two 100 percent amateur-trained retrievers, one yellow Lab with accomplished hunt test titles making the occasional field trial appearance, and a younger flat-coated retriever working on a senior hunt test title; I hope to run her in field trials as well. I can't say I hunt, because I have a hard time hitting anything, but my summer goal is to get my shooting competent and become fit enough that I can spend the better part of any day in a pheasant field next fall, and drag the gear a few miles into the marshes in the winter for duck hunting. I love to cook, especially baking (*sigh*), and I love and am reasonably knowledgeable about a great glass of wine. I am single and straight, personally conservative but tolerant of any and all lifestyles that make a person happy and don't infringe on others' personal happiness; my family is wonderful but far-flung; I have wonderful supportive friends who know and mostly understand me, though the diabetes has been a challenge to that with my "best girlfriend". My main stressors these days are my health and finances.
Food related info/beliefs/goals: I'm going for mostly primal, though I do have some oat bran and some brown rice in the cupboard that I'll use up but not replace, and some super-thin whole rye crackers I indulge in with excellent cheese, and a bag of wild rice that I'll probably replace when it's gone. I do eat dairy, particularly stinky cheese, Greek yogurt, and kefir; I use cream in my coffee; an actual glass of milk is very rare and doesn't always agree with me. I love a glass of wine, but I've had to make that very occasional due to the liver issue. My freezer right now looks excellent to me: venison, grass-fed beef, and some high-quality free-range organic chicken, but I'm not above the bag o' frozen chicken breasts if I'm low on funds. Most of the seafood I eat is canned oily fish, as I am way too picky about fresh fish and can't bring myself to buy most of the old frozen or tasteless farmed stuff available in the grocery store. I have eliminated HFCS, I've happily and painlessly kicked the diet soda to the curb, and I've almost eliminated other artificial sweeteners as well (hard to give up the hazelnut syrup in the once-a-week Starbucks...I may keep this as a treat). When I eat only my own food and don't go to a restaurant or friend's house to socialize, most of my carbs come from dairy, nuts, a little bit of not-quite-daily fruit (half an apple, half a pear, a cup of berries), and a half teaspoon of honey here and there; my blood glucose stays in line best when I keep carbs from these sources under 15 for the meal or snack and under 60 for the day. Honestly, I don't count vegetable carbs--they are small and annoying as far as the math goes, and seem necessary. I don't eat more than 15g whole grain no matter what, and if it's less than that I round it up to 15 to count; I do the same with sweet potatoes or peas or beans if I have them, which has been very rare.
Exercise-related: I'm a weakling and a train-wreck, but far better off than I was just a few months ago. I much prefer to take a brisk walk to almost anything else; I'm at about a half hour at a reasonable clip in good weather (a little over two miles), and my goal is to work up to an hour of walking daily no matter what other exercise I might do. I have seriously struggled with shin splints, now and all my life every time darn time I've started a new walking regime, and I now find that my toes fall asleep--I am desperately hoping this is shoe-related and not a diabetes complication. My inclement weather and "serious workout" exercise has been 1/2 hour trudging up and down on a step bench in front of the tv (I say "trudging" but I kind of like it). I'm looking to increase the height of the bench and work up to 45 minutes, but for now 1/2 hour on the basic level is plenty until I get myself exercising daily more consistently. I'm just beginning to add light dumb bell work and body-weight exercises like squats with an exercise ball and pushups against the wall. I am frustrated with how weak I am. In high school, I was a starting varsity soccer player for four years, and I do remember what it feels like to be strong and fit--but I have little idea how to get there from here. Suggestions on this welcome!
What I will track daily:
Morning Blood Glucose:
Exercise: (if done, what kind)
Food: (brief comment on whether primal and diabetes-friendly ideals met)
Mental state: (smiley face, frowny face, or other)
Today so far and what I have planned:
Exercise: planned--shovel snow, afternoon, and step and weight work in front of the TV during "Lost" tonight.
Morning Blood Glucose: 123 (this is the highest it's been in the morning in over a month, and unacceptable, which spurred me to begin this journal)
Food: Given the BG number, I think I need a day that is green-leafy and incidental carbs only--so far so good.
Mental state: I think I'm working on a smiley-face day.
Subsequent journals will be much shorter--but it feels good to get it all out on the table, and since today is a snow day (!) I had the time.
Suggestions and similar experiences welcome!