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Primal Journal: Like a boss

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  • Primal Journal: Like a boss

    Ok Ok.

    New year, new journal.

    This isn't actually a new years resolution journal, it just so happened that my desire to seriously re-commit to primal/paleo and the new year coincided. Sue me.

    A bit about myself:
    -I have SIBO, and discovered the Primal Blueprint through the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.

    -I'm a 26 year old female. I'm not going to give my "stats" at this point because I'm not so sure it's that important. Word.

    -I'm currently in grad school (stress), I don't like where I live (stress), or who I live with (uuggghhh the worst), but I'm determined not to let that be my excuse to treat myself like crap.

    -Sometimes I have a filthy trucker mouth, so if that kind of thing offends your delicate sensibilities, you should keep on keepin' on. If that kind of thing doesn't offend you, great

    -I have a history of disordered eating. Bulimia to be precise. I still struggle with this, and it's the reason I get "sidetracked" from Primal/Paleo/SCD and end up "starting over". It's something I'm working on. I'm in therapy. I've tried the Diet Cure Supplements, but didn't really notice a difference. I would be open to anyones ideas or insight regarding this. Seriously. It's something I'm constantly struggling with and working on, and any input is appreciated.

    -That being said...I'm probably going to catch some heat for this next one: I'd like to lose a few lbs. I've recently put some weight on due to some serious binge/non-primal behavior. But I'd like to do it through eating awesome food, and doing great workouts-consistently. Plus, I've been where I want to be now and it's not so far away, or unrealistic. Huzzah!

    My goals for this journal include:
    - being accountable! I'm seriously ready to be a boss. I've been eating this way for a year and half, and when I'm on, it's awesome. I feel and look awesome, and I want to be there again!
    -getting input. Most of you are seriously smarter than I am.

    Soooo I think I'm just going to post what I eat, my workouts, and any other random crap I feel like mentioning.

    I have a serious gluten baby going on right now. If that's not enough motivation to stay away from the shitty food, I don't know what is! Thanks for reading!

  • #2
    Sooo today was an alright day. I'm still feeling the effects of my binging behavior from last week...I always forget just how long it takes to get rid of the disgusting bloated/distended/ food baby feeling. It's so annoying! Especially because mentally I'm back in the game, but physically I look like I'm 6 months pregnant. Not so encouraging.

    Anyway, I ate quite a bit today.

    -breakfast-2 cups of coffee, picked on a few pieces of canned salmon

    -lunch- salad with bacon, avocado, mushrooms, balsamic vinegar and olive oil
    - then I ate 2 more pieces of bacon
    - then I had a bunch of the leftover beef/cauliflower mixture from the stuffed peppers I made

    -dinner- MORE of the beefy mixture
    - creamy turmeric tea (from MDA's recipe), made with 1/2 cup coconut milk and 1/2 cup water

    So the tea was actually really good. I didn't sweeten it with anything, and I thought the creamy and savory flavor was delish. I'll definitely make this again. I had it because I knew it would be filling, but also because I need the anti-inflammatory properties of the turmeric for this big ol' belly I have right now!

    Also, the stuffed peppers are freakin' awesome as well! That recipe is from the Civilized Caveman blog. If you haven't checked it out yet, DO IT. All of his recipes are amazing. I actually asked him to marry me today. Not lying.

    As for working out:
    -I did a 12 minute HIIT workout (Bodyrock)
    -50 squats with a 20lb sandbag
    -random ab/plank stuff
    -70 minute hot vinyasa yoga class this evening

    Pretty good day overall. I just feel really really full. I guess it's probably a combo of having NO self control, and the residual crappiness leftover from last week ugh, I'm hoping this feeling goes away soon. I was seriously SOOO angry with myself this evening before yoga, because I was so bloated and gurgly and it was all my fault! I just can't wait for my physical and mental states to match. Because I'm feeling so primal right now. Like a boss!


    • #3
      (stressed) grad student with filthy trucker mouth over here as well. cheers!


      • #4
        Yessss, love it! I'm glad that we've found each other!


        • #5
          I love this already!! I am getting on like a boss starting monday too! I see good things in our future. Some bad ass fit healthy chicks. Ya dig?

          "Become Your Dream" - De La Vega

          "“The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.” - Muhammad Ali


          • #6
            I'm not a grad student but have a serious trucker mouth! I'm going to check out the Civilized Caveman blog - thanks for the tip!
            Rockin' a New Way of Life


            • #7
              Wooty, BYD, and MusicMama- thanks for saying hi! I'm so happy you all stopped by and I look forward to reading your journals! Trucker mouthed ladies unite!

              Today was a pretty good day. I did work out at all buuuuut I'm trying to to be too hard on myself over it. There's always tomorrow, right?

              So I have to report two pretty awesome events. First, last night I had a pretty intense convo with my dad that resulted in my dad and brother screaming at each other, my brother storming off and leaving, and me crying. Now, I should preface this by saying I live 7 hours away from both of them, and that this is a particularly stressful time for my fam due to some effed up shit that I'm not going to get into. BUT....usually my conversations with my dad on a normal day end up with me in the kitchen "soothing" myself with random food. Last night was no exception, I did find myself in the kitchen after that emotional conversation...but this difference was that I realized it, had like 2 bites of random food, and just decided I wasn't into it. I already felt crappy and I knew that emotional eating would only make it worse in the long run. That was pretty huge for me. Also, I decided that if i just cried it out it would probs feel better anyway. I was right. Shocker.

              Second- tonight I had dinner with my bff.....delicious pork ribs and kale. It was the Afterward, we indulged in a special chocolate/coconut/hazelnut treat that I made him for his bday last week (think Primal Ferraro Rocher....except 100 times better than the orig because it's made with coconut butter and REAL ingredients). Anyway, usually one small indulgence like that would have me spiraling into a bingy abyss. Not tonright! I had one treat, really enjoyed it, and I did not let myself get out of hand! It was kind of hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be! Especially because this treat had nuts, and I'm all "ooooh I'm not having nuts right now", but I was like, "Self, shut up and live your life". So, I had one treat, with nuts, and chocolate, and honey....didn't die, and didn't binge. And that doesn't mean that I have a free pass to eat means I had ONE treat and it's not big deal. Right? RIGHT?!?!?! Yes.


              Breakfast: -creamy turmeric tea (coconut milk, water, turmeric, ginger, pinch of cayenne)
              -few bites of stuffed peppers

              Lunch: -Stuffed pepper (pepper, beef/cauliflower mixture) I should note here that i bought a shit ton of Piedmontese beef from a local farmer. It's 100% totally amazing, but it's suuuuper lean, so I think that's why these pepps aren't so filling)
              -1/3 avocado


              • #8
                I just wrote a huge post and it got deleted. I'm pissed.


                • #9
                  Aw, RIP, huge post. Just know that I'm jealous of your journal name - I wish I'd come up with something more interesting than my name at first.

                  You sound just like me from a year ago. Grad school, 26, too much bingeing in order to maintain energy for grad school. I have to tell you, it's so worth it to make some changes no matter how hard they seem at first. I was eating horribly by the end of grad school and had so much anxiety I think I was really nearing a nervous breakdown. I know I was literally falling apart because scary amounts of hair were falling from my head. Ever since I've switched though, I think so much clearer and avoid the anxiety problems so much easier. It was jarring to me at first how much I could get done in a week when my brain actually started thinking straight. That said, the first week or two of the full transition can leave you with less energy and some more brain fog. All you can do is anticipate it and accept it as temporary. Wishing you luck in getting over that first hump - it won't always feel like you have strap yourself down to keep yourself from overeating junk!
                  Starting weight: 225
                  Current weight: 195
                  Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
                  Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
                  My Primal Journey

                  Created by - Nutrition Facts For Foods


                  • #10
                    UUUUGGGGHHHHH let's try this again, shortened version.

                    Wooty, BYD, MusicMama - thanks so much for stopping by and checking out my journal! I'm looking forward to reading your journals and hearing more from you!

                    Ok so I had two significant events happen in the past 24 hours, and I want to share them.

                    First- had a super emotional convo with my dad and brother. They live 7 hours away from me. We are currently dealing with some serious effed up shit right now, family wise - I'm not going to get into it but I'll just say that it's very upsetting. So anyway, I spoke with them and the conversation resulted in my dad and brother screaming at each other, my brother storming out of the house, and me crying. Now, my phone conversations with my dad usually end with me in the kitchen "soothing" myself with food. Some relationship issues there but that a whoooooole other story. Anywhoozers, last night was no exception...except this time I was aware of it. I realized what I was doing, and honestly, I think it's mostly out of habit. I wasn't even enjoying myself. So, I realized that emotional eating would just make me feel I stopped and just cried it out. So emo, I know, but it actually kinda worked. Me:1 Kitchen:0

                    Second- I had dinner with a friend tonight....amazing pork ribs and kale. Seriously one of the top 5 meals I've ever had, and I ate it like a boss. After dinner, we indulged in a little primal treat I had made him last week for his birthday. Think Primal Ferraro Rocher. Only better. Like, a million times better because they are made with coconut butter and REAL ingredients. Moving on. Usually such a treat would send me into a bingy abyss....but not this time. I'll admit, I stressed a little, because I'm "not eating nuts and chocolate and honey" right now, but then I got serious and said "Self, shut up and live your life". And I had one treat. And I didn't die, and I DIDN"T binge. This is huge for me! It was kind of hard, but not really as hard as I'd imagined. Now, I'm sure this won't always be the case....but I'm trying to celebrate the small victories right now

                    Food today:

                    B -coffee, black
                    - cup of creamy turmeric tea (coconut milk, water, turmeric, ginger, pinch of cayenne)
                    - few bites of yesterdays stuffed peppers

                    L - coffee, black
                    - stuffed peppers (pepper, beef/cauli mix) ***I should note: I bought a shit ton of Piedmontese beef from a local farmer. It's grass fed and finished and it's the most amazing stuff ever. However, this breed of cow is SUPA lean...which is why I don't think these pepps are very filling***
                    -An hour later, because for some bizarre reason I was still hungry - 2 eggs and some egg whites (yes, from a carton...sue me), with Franks OBVI

                    D- a crap load of ribs with delicious homemade sauce, kale sauteed in bacon grease
                    - ONE of the worlds most delicious primal treats (coconut butter, cocoa powder, honey, roasted hazelnuts. BOOM)
                    - a few baby carrots out of boredom later in the evening

                    Sooooo....still lots of food. And I didn't work out at all today....buuuut I'm trying to to get too upset about it. There's always tomorrow right?

                    Also, debating on whether or not to go back to Leangains style 16/8 fasting. I haven't been recently because I was so off the primal wagon that I wanted to let my body get back to burning fat and not sugar before I started fasting. I cannot handle that stabby hunger you get when you've been eating tons of carbs. Any ideas about this or my food or anything is appreciated!


                    • #11
                      Lex26- Thanks for the encouragement! It's nice to hear I'm not the only one dealing with food issues on top of grad school pressure! I'm no stranger to Primal, I just lose my way sometimes when I get caught up in a big ol' binge cycle. Which kinda makes it even worse, because I know what if feels like to be on and feeling good...but I continue to eat crap and do this to myself. Such is the cycle. Anyway, thanks for stopping by, I'm going to check out your journal!


                      • #12
                        Just keep on eating according to your diet. It sounds like you just recently got on the wagon, so in the beginning you might be eating more than you need out of habit. But the longer you eat like this with enough fat, the more your body and brain will start telling you on their own - eh, I really don't want to eat much. God - when you get to that, it's sooo relieving. You actually, seriously can get to a point when you don't overeat because you don't want to - because your stomach says, "BLAH! I'm good, dude." It took me about two or three weeks to get that feeling.
                        Starting weight: 225
                        Current weight: 195
                        Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
                        Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
                        My Primal Journey

                        Created by - Nutrition Facts For Foods


                        • #13
                          Ugh guuuuyyys what is my problem?!?!

                          Had a really great morning...went to yoga, worked out some more at home, made a DELICIOUS big ass salad for lunch. Now I'm about to head to campus to meet with my supervisor and get some work done, except I make a little detour to the kitchen and have myself a little mini-binge. WTF?! All primal food this time...soooo that's an improvement, but seriously. I need to get a grip. I ate a whole avocado, some kind of cocoa powder/coconut milk concoction, as well a few other random things. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I was NOT hungry, just ate a huge lunch, and now I'm super full and kinda pissed at myself! UGHHH!!! Well, my plan is to fast until tomorrow. I can't believe I just did that.


                          • #14
                            i wouldn't fast, that sounds like punishment to me. just wait until you get hungry again, and then eat! this is something i'm really working on, perhaps even more than losing the chub---to learn to not eat for fuel and enjoy it, but also to forgive myself for eating emotionally or out of boredom. i have a meeting with my supervisors this afternoon too, and there is some chocolate in my freezer that is calling my name. i'm not hungry, but i know i'll have some, and that is okay.


                            • #15

                              Yeah, fasting isn't supposed to be used as a punishment, it's supposed to be something you do when you really do feel every now and then that you can comfortably miss a meal because you're honestly not hungry for it. Or it's supposed to be a regimented eating schedule that helps you burn more fat. At this early point, I think fasting would be akin to overcorrecting a car when you've hit a bump in the road: The overcorrecting almost never goes well.
                              Starting weight: 225
                              Current weight: 195
                              Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
                              Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
                              My Primal Journey

                              Created by - Nutrition Facts For Foods