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Primal Journal - They call me BUTTLOCK (IM A FAT WHALE)

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  • Primal Journal - They call me BUTTLOCK (IM A FAT WHALE)

    Hello everyone. I am not actually a sea mammal, I just look like one. I'm 5'4" and weigh 307.6 pounds according to scale. So yeah.

    To be honest I can't believe I'm even writing this, but I've been using Penzu to collect my thoughts and figured, "ah welp why not do it over at the Apple instead". I also figured since I have a ginormous amount of weight to lose, that this might be helpful for anyone needing to lose as much as I have to -- or maybe not so helpful depending on how things turn out.

    Basically after taking a dookie on the insides of my body, I'm unhealthy and huge. Okay, with that said I'm back on the wagon again (better than ever, to be honest) and ready to do this shit.

    So I started back up on January 3rd, where I weighed 313 pounds. So that's about 6 pounds down in 17 days.

    I'm slightly following a (a because I don't know what fuck method) LR protocol: eating three meals a day, no snacking, waiting at least 4 hours before bed from eating. It has done me good so far, and despite the fact that I ate poorly for like 1.5 months, I had only gained about 3 pounds before restarting on the 3rd.

    Now I know you're probably thinking, "uh holy shit over the course of a year that's like 30 pounds gained) HOWEVA, normally I would have gained a shit ton of weight by eating poorly for a 1.5 months ... like 15 pounds. So when I jumped on the scale on the 3rd I was pleasantly surprised. Two of those were dropped as soon as I got back on the wagon. So ... that's fucken awesome and all the proof I need to there being something to these LR methods.

    And after almost three weeks of eating "plain", I feel like I'm already LS. I say already because for the amount of fat I have taking a ride all over my body like a stripper on a pole, and the symptoms that come with carrying all this blubber, I figured it would take longer.

    As for what I'm eating:

    Turkey Bacon, Chicken
    Grass-fed Butter
    Leafy Greens
    Coconut Oil/Manna

    ...combined in some way, shape or form to make a meal. I should probably take a hint from Wu Tang Financial and diversify my shit, but whatever. I'm really trying not to spend more than 50 bucks a week on food. I'm taking suggestions for any kind of new and cheap shit to eat as long as it doesn't contain olive oil (in dressing form) because it tastes like mad dookie.

    I'm ... TRYING to eat some fish. I'm not a huge fan of meat. I'm just not. Trying to get myself to eat more is like trying to wipe my ass with my right hand ... IT'S JUST DIFFICULT.

    At any rate, I'll probably be updating this daily or more for anyone who cares. I probably won't write down what I'm eating unless it deviates from the foods above (and it might if I try to introduce fish into this mouth).

    For the record, my highest weight is 335 I think and was achieved (cue mario music) in 2010. I've been on a lot of diets (including one called The Rice Diet). I have been taking pictures of myself: one at 324 and the other at 312 (which was back in July hahaha). Once I get to the 2's, I'll take another.
    Guess I'm hoping the pictures will show something. I haven't compared them yet. I'm waiting.

    In a nutshell I want to lose some weight pls help

  • #2
    Eggs are pretty cheap and full of protein.

    I will be watching your thread, just to keep you honest.
    People too weak to follow their own dreams will always try to discourage others.


    • #3
      I second the recommendation on eggs as you can use them in several forms. I eat 2-3 every morning with my bacon and I'm set until lunch.

      Dump the turkey bacon and get real bacon instead. The processing involved to turn turkey into bacon isn't great. The more natural, the better.

      If you're not into meat, think stews and soups that have lots of broth/sauce and veggies to make it less meat-focused. I think a portion of protein is the size of the palm of your hand (more for you probably until you drop more weight), so you can sneak it in better. The crockpot is your very best friend, and there are tons of yummy recipes out there to try.

      Fish comes in way more than one flavor, and again, think sauce and seasonings. You may have to try several different types until you find what you like. DO buy your fish from a reputable place as most of the regular grocery store stuff smells and tastes like rancid ass. Fresh and wild is best, previously frozen and wild is second best. If you have a Whole Paycheck in your town, they usually have good seafood. I shop by what's on special 'cause I'm not made of money either.

      Play with seasonings. Being bored with my food is one of the things that will set me on a cheating binge every time. Every. Time.

      Good luck!
      I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


      • #4
        I'm in the same boat. Or more like, I'm in the water (a whale) and want to be in the boat?...

        My primal journey starts Monday. I'll be following this forum for inspiration, don't let me down!


        • #5
          GOOD MORNING

          I should have mentioned; I can't do eggs (kill me). It used to be that normally after eating them I'd feel immediately sick (this didn't happen with processed eggs). But after not having any for a couple months, I recently found the chicken curry clafouti recipe and felt something like an allergic reaction shortly after.

          I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. I remember thinking, "THIS IS IT ... IT'S TOO LATE. I TRIED TOO LATE. IT'S DONE." But it ended up being just ...severe heartburn and chest pain, haha. I AM ALIVE.

          I can seem to tolerate one egg if it's smothered in a recipe, though I'll experience really mild heartburn after.

          It didn't occur to me that the turkey bacon was that processed. Shit. I have been using the Applegate brand. If you compared the Applegate turkey bacon with some standard store brand, you can tell a REAL difference. The regular store brand shit looks like mush.

          I don't like regular pig bacon either haha. I can eat "bland" shit because it's not bland to me. I'll only screw up if my mindbrain just thinks I need to and I find an excuse to do it, no matter what diet I'm on or what I'm eating. But I've broken down over trying to eat more meat. YEUP

          I was cooking some beef one morning and just started crying. "OH MY GOD I DONT WANNA EAT THIS SHITTTTTTT NUUUUUU". My boyfriend and sister were like, "'re crying 'cause you're tired of eating meat?".

          I don't think I'm at a stage where I can make myself do it yet. That will make me fall off the wagon. I'm hoping I get to a point where I just want to consume as much as I need.

          HOWEVER, that crockpot idea is genius. I was just thinking about getting one a few days ago and probably will soon. Then I'll just ...throw it in there or something with a pile of vegetables.

          As for the fish! I think the best I can get here is wild-caught frozen. I'm actually not quite sure. I've been living where I'm at for two years but still not familiar with what's around me. I JUST discovered a Vitamin Shoppe nearby (which is now my second home).

          I also came here to say that I did good yesterday as well. Everyday I don't fuck up is a day I'm really proud of myself. I have to say at this point I don't even think about it. I'm just hoping that lasts a long time after being "conditioned" to think about it ... a lot.



          • #6
            Really? You want us to call you BUTTLOCK?

            I'm more a fan of bacon bacon, really, but after reading that turkey bacon link it doesn't sound like it's horrible stuff. I just can't imagine why anyone wouldn't loooooove the meat candy of the world, pork bacon. Either way, eat whatever meat you want, just try to keep it the good stuff. If you want to try a mouth-watering crockpot recipe (and buy the biggest one you can find, btw), get a pkg of pork back ribs (they have the long bone in them and I find they work the best), rinse them off with water and (optional) cut them into 2-3 rib portions before putting them into a DRY crockpot. Season them with whatever spice you like (I use only sea salt, some pepper, Italian seasonings). Don't add any water.

            Set that thing to low and let em go for about 7 hours. Then, once they are cool enough not to burn your entire mouth off, dig in. They should be tender and succulent.

            A whole chicken, seasoned much the same way, is also fantastic in the crockpot. Don't add liquid for this either, but you can put some chopped onion, carrot and celery in the bottom first (optional). You'll need a large spoon to scoop it out later but it's sooooooo delicious and the BONUS is that you will have the best chicken stock in the bottom.

            Another favourite of mine is to have scrambled egg on a plate of re-heated pork roast slices (with some pork juice). Slightly salty but it really helps the egg taste even better.
            Ramblings of an Unamused Mouse (Lots of Food Porn, Too!)


            • #7
              Sounds like you're on the right track! If eggs aren't working for you, don't eat them. Can you have eggs in other things (like making a pie crust or something) without becoming ill, or is it something about the taste? They make egg substitutes if you are truly allergic to the egg proteins, but I never bothered to check what's actually IN the egg subsitute things; maybe they're not primal.

              I heartily recommend getting a crockpot too. I bought the biggest one I can find, because I am lazy and I like to put things in there and forget about them for 8-12 hours and then have tasty stock or meat or whatever waiting for me when I get home/wake up.

              My favorite trick for getting enough greens is to make a green smoothie and choke it down because seriously, it takes what? 20 minutes? to chew through a crunchy salad. I don't want to spend that much time thinking about my vegetables, so I blenderize them with some berries or other fruit and drink them. Bonus: you don't have to add salad dressing; I'm with you on the ick for that one. Never have been a big fan of salad dressing.


              • #8
                I don't like bacon much either, but turkey bacon is total yuk!!! So skip the bacon. Later you may find that it's really good saute veges in. What about pork? Ribs, roasts, sausage - no expensive either. I like my beef with onions and mushrooms and spinach added - I make ground meat this way often. Fish hides really well in curry - coconut milk, carrots, onion, celery, spices (even just pepper) plus cod. Stew it a while and you wont even tatse the fish (my kids eat this). What about shrimp? Keep trying new things and you'll be suprised at what you can do. I started out close to where you are and have lost >100lbs. You can do it too. Take your time and allow your body to heal from all the things that went wrong to allow you to get this way. If you mess up one day, simply learn from it and don't get too down - it is part of the process. Check out some primal recipes and make some primal/paleo friends - even online. It makes all the difference!


                • #9
                  Oh, I'm getting so excited to do this! It's gonna suck, but in that good "This is helping, not hurting!" way. Keep it up, you can do it!


                  • #10

                    HEY GUYS I'm still alive.

                    I have TRIED THE NASTY. By nasty I mean fish, which wasn't so nasty at all. I found some frozen salmon with the MSC label right on it. It didn't even taste like fish. It was pretty dang good to be honest. So, I'll be trying to incorporate more of that into my diet.

                    The egg thing -- if I blend it with a bunch of crap I seem to be okay, like yeah ... using it to make a pie crust or something. Get mild heart burn after but don't explode.

                    So with that said, I have still been good - no slip ups. Paid off, I'm down to 305.2 which is the lowest I've been in 2 years. So I ended up crying like a little bitch about it. I'm pretty happy at the moment.

                    I have however found the joy of flaxseed and coconut manna mixed together to make BAWLS. I've been taking Spectrum's flaxseed and dried berry mix and have combined it with coconut manna and hooooooo my god. Help. Too good. I must watch how much I eat. I call them Buttlock Balls (pronounced baaawhwhwhwhwhls).

                    So yeah! That's about it. Feeling good feeling fresh. Amen. Thanks for the support guys (i love u)

                    OH one other note, my appetite seems to be abolished. Kind of worrying, but maybe I shouldn't worry about it? My calories are already kind of low, I think. Yesterday I had breakfast and ended up skipping lunch and dinner because I wasn't hungry, but it wasn't on purpose.


                    • #11
                      Glad to hear you are still alive and ambulatory on the planet:-)

                      I had "the chest pain" thing last year and it scared the crap out of me and helped
                      me decide to change my decadent habits somewhat (there were many, there are still a few)

                      The not-being-hungry thing is a bonus with eating the fat--your Buttlock Balls may be magic that way.

                      I think you will break 300 soon if you stick to your plan. I agree w/ others to lose the turkey bacon in favor of the real thing.
                      Who knows what nasty by-product bits "end up" in turkey bacon anyway?

                      Good luck on your journey. I have lost about 20 pounds of fat so far and if I can do it, anyone can. . .


                      • #12
                        I'm giggling like a 13 year old at BAWLS and all your tart little reference. Perhaps that's because I teach that age and I still think farts are funny.

                        One of the beautiful side effects of primal/paleo is being full. There are lots of nights when I just have a snack instead of dinner because I'm too full. Right now I'm thinking about skipping breakfast because I'm not hungry, but worried then that someone will bring some kind of sugar-crack to share with the class and my stomach will remember I haven't fed it and take ALL the tasties away from the kid.

                        Glad you found fish to be tasty instead of nasty. Salmon is one of the stronger flavored fish, but it's also got a nice texture. If texture is a thing for you, you might want to skip tilapia as it can get mushy. I don't love it.

                        Yeah, under 300 is headed your way and SOON.
                        I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


                        • #13
                          YEAH! I figure at this rate it'll take a few weeks. My lady parts are currently waging war at the moment with an unknown yet formidable foe ( ah ..haha ..huuuuuu) so my scale's being stupid.

                          That's one thing I need to do -- not weigh myself every stinking day of my existence. So I'll just throw it it in the closet until next Thursday, which I think will have been 30 days since I rererererestarted eating primal.

                          The full thing is kind of weird; I'll take two bites of something and immediately start feeling a full sensation. It's not strong by any means, but if I were to follow what my stomach is saying, I'd be eating about 4 bites of something every 3 hours. So I just don't. I don't like snacking. I eat 2 - 3 meals a day -- that's it. I just found it odd as I haven't experienced that ever before.

                          I will be taking the advice and dropping the turkey bacon. I went to a store with my BF and was getting upset cause ...when I think about buying meat I get so fucken frustrated. I was in the store getting all mad and my boyfriend said something like "FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS".

                          Luckily I found this broad's book Well Fed: Paleo Recipes For People Who Love To Eat | theclothesmakethegirl . I checked out her sample and I am digging the protein recipes she has that are totally primal. One of the reasons I was getting so frustrated is because a lot of the recipes I would get online I wouldn't consider primal ...unless they used offal. Aaaand I'm not ready for that.

                          OHHHHH YEAH I found some grass fed beef at one of my local stores but it looked ... I don't know. I ... JUST DONT KNOW (it looked like slop -- I don't know if that's normal someone help me out here). The end


                          • #14
                            I love the girl who wrote Well Fed and her blog! I haven't actually purchased the book yet, but I think I will if I can get a friggin job sometime soon. I've been researching and toying with the idea of an official Leptin Reset thing too, but want to start off by incorporating some of the habits before I try it full bore. Those include really, really getting all the sleep I need, not snacking at all and not eating within 4 hours of bed time. I lost two pounds the week I did that without much exercise. I've been lazy with those habits in the last week and haven't lost any weight.
                            Starting weight: 225
                            Current weight: 195
                            Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
                            Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
                            My Primal Journey

                            Created by - Nutrition Facts For Foods


                            • #15
                              HELLO EVERYONE

                              I am still alive and well. My bf has started to notice some fat movement as I have. My weight at the moment is 303.2. I wanted to lose 10 pounds for January and met that goal (a couple days ago) so YEAH!

                              At this rate, my next goal should arrive sooner than expected -- maybe by the end of this week. I don't have anything to report except that I forgot to mention I have been using the Primal Fitness ebook since last week. I'm doing all the beginner moves (obviously) but having a difficult time doing the plank ones. Oh and I don't really have a way to do the pull-ups yet.