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Journey to Bootylicious~Or At Least No Muffin Top

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  • Journey to Bootylicious~Or At Least No Muffin Top

    I like to write. Writing keeps me honest. Too many days I assumed I'd eaten healthy and forgotten about the donut snack and chips with lunch while I was face down in a candy bar at the end of the day. My mind can be a very effective conspirator, imposing temporary memory loss to make half a pie seem like a good choice.

    As my husband told me early in our dating relationship, "Aren't Hostess fruit pies a healthy alternative to snack cakes?" <grin>

    I began the Paleo lifestyle on January 2, 2012, but I'm no stranger to low carb. I was happy and healthy on Atkins about 10 years ago, then I gave it up because my hubby became pescatarian and it was a pain in the butt to cook two different meals. He's agreed to learn how to cook more for himself with the promise of a wife willing to wear the frilly bits to bed once her body is less Pillsbury Doughboy and more Victoria's Secret model-ish. (No illusions there, my lovelies; I'm trying to rock (grok?) my own version there.)

    I've been doing really well. I've decided to have wine on occasion and one night a week where I can have bites of non-Paleo stuff. Honestly, it's been easy to adjust, and I don't really want the carbo-stuff anyway anymore. )Well, except for the coupla bites of the Spanish caramel crepes hubby ordered at dinner the other night...holy moly, that was yummy.)

    I'm trying to approach this in a more balanced way than I did Atkins. If I "cheated" on Atkins, the self-loathing guilt machine would kick in and make me want the naughty stuff even more. Mark's 80-20 approach resonated so well with me; life IS about balance. The result has been that I really don't crave the carbs, and when I indulge, it's very small amounts, one a week, and I just enjoy it.

    Of course as I write this, the hubby is BAKING BREAD. He deserves to go spend some time in a very dark, dank hole for that, because other than bacon, is there a more heavenly scent than fresh bread?


    More later. I guess this is Day #15.

    Tune in later to find out how the first attempt at a pull up since the humiliation of high school PE went. I plan to laugh at myself heartily.
    I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )

  • #2
    So, you know those super-assisted, I'm talking chair underneath you, pull-ups Mark has in his 21 day transformation book? Um, yeah, can't do a full set. So I did 2 sets of 15.

    The cats went wild, like what the hell is momma doin'???? It was hard to hold my plank position because I was giggling so hard.

    So, baseline, we've established I am a supreme weakling and am working up to the baseline on the weeny modifications. And that's okay. I am where I am. A month from now, I'll be somewhere different.
    I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


    • #3
      Good lord, I'm cranky today. Hubby saw my head spinning and pea soup vomiting and high-tailed it down to his office with his coffee. Poor guy.

      I slept like crap last night. Suddenly felt sick as a dog about 9 PM~flu-like symptoms. Many trips to el bano. Pain. All that is gone this morning, so I can log it all up to only one thing:

      Damn craft brew. Teensy little glass. Sooo delicious. Poison, apparently.

      I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as the 3 hour flu, so it has to be something I ate. Pretty sure it's not the free range chicken breast I had and cooked to temperature, so there's no other option.

      I was hoping I'd be able to indulge in the craft brew from time to time, but it seems my body has loudly proclaimed DO. NOT. WANT. on that account.

      At least there's still wine.

      Pork roast in the crockpot for tonight~already smelling noms.

      Happy groking, y'all!
      I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


      • #4
        I'm not weighing, measuring, or any of that compulsive tracking I used to do in the past. Keeps me sane, and quite frankly, all that matters is how I feel and how I look.

        Well, score one for ME! This is Day 17, and the jeans I couldn't fit into at Christmas because they were strangling my thighs not only fit, but were a little loose in the thighs and bootay. Next stop: new jeans.

        Got a pork roast in the crockpot, getting ready to make turnip-cauliflower mashed "potatoes," AND I FIT INTO MY SKINNY JEANS WITH ROOM TO SPARE!!!

        Life? She is good.
        I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


        • #5
          BeachTeach...I need to not weigh myself. I started my primal journey 1/3 and a week later I weighed myself and even though my pants that were sausage tight on me for months weren't as tight and I "only lost" 3 pounds I felt like a failure. Then I got the stomach flu. I will continue on my journey and concentrate on how I feel and how I look. Good news about the pants! That's fabulous!


          • #6
            Hi Bellavida! It's for exactly the reasons you described that I decided not to weigh myself this time. I did that before, and my mood was determined by whether I lost or not, how much I lost, etc. It made it more of a diet instead of a lifestyle change.

            Because I'm in this for more than the weight (though I'd be lying if I said it wasn't pretty important to me), I wanted to focus on all the other benefits. More energy, sleeping better, joints don't ache, headaches gone, mood leveled out (this morning's grumpfest aside), rarely hungry, no cravings...goodness, those things alone make it worth it. Now, add in the fact that MAH PANTS FIT ME WITH ROOM TO SPARE, well then, it's a no brainer.

            Give your scale to a friend to hold on to and try it out for a month. Pay attention to how you feel and how your clothing fits. Weight is just a number. I have a good friend who told me she weighs 150, but she's got a great body and is rocking size 2 jeans. She's got muscle, and muscle weighs more but takes up more room. Don't care what the scale says if I look anything like her!
            I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


            • #7
              Loving this lifestyle, but holy shit, I've had a couple of nights where I've gotten leg cramps and there's nothing short of, oh, I don't know, a bucket of ice water getting tossed on you while you're sleeping, to replicate the harsh way you're ripped out of sleeping with those suckers. Does anyone know if I need to take a potassium supplement or if I can just eat a banana every day?

              I'm also running into a really interesting problem. The hubby and I have been going to bed earlier so we can get 8 hours of sleep, and my body thinks it's wakey-wakey time about 45-minutes earlier than the alarm is set, about the amount of time I've adjusted my bedtime. I'm sleeping a lot better so it's less harsh, but dangit, body, didn't you get the memo?

              I realized the other day that for a good chunk of my life~adolescence until recently, really~I treated my body as if it were an enemy to be conquered. Now, that can't be healthy. It's that sort of loathing and hatred that perpetuates self-harm. I WILL eat this giant slice of pie and you can SUCK IT body seemed logical. I think I've finally come to a truce; I don't actually love my body, but I respect what it wants now. Instead of fighting it and lobbing grenades at it, we're finally working together.

              It makes all the difference. I'm happier, my body is happier (aside from the leg cramps)...we're finally on the same side.

              Oh, and is anyone else creeped out by the way your toes curl all freaky-like with leg cramps? Makes me just about barf. But maybe that's just me. I think veins are gross too. Used to have to wrap my arm in a towel while I was writing so I didn't have to see them wiggle as my hand moved.

              Up next: Bacon time. And leftover pork roast. And salad. SO love not being deprived!
              I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


              • #8
                Ze first milestone-ish has been reached:

                I can wear my wedding rings again!!!

                Last week I was able to EITHER wear the engagement ring OR my wedding ring, not both on my chubby little fingers. That alone was a victory; it's been about a year since I was even able to do that. On a whim today, I decided to try them on together, expecting progress but still having to cram them on my digits.

                Nopers. Slid right on. They don't slide around, but they sit nice and comfortable where they belong again.

                Three days after rendering my legs unbendable from squats, I can finally move about and sit without groaning like someone with an intestinal disorder. Of course, that means that tomorrow I can do another round of pain and suffe--I mean squats, push ups, planks and pull ups. I'm all a-tingle with delight.

                So, you're probably already familiar with the bacongasm, the pleasurable sensation that comes from eating bacon. However, you may be less familiar with the bananagasm, which is not as pornographic as it sounds. Bananas used to taste mushy and sort of bland, but after several weeks off sugar, they are sweet and flavorful and Oh. My. God. Truly delicious. Warm it with a little cinnamon and nutmeg? Bananagasm.

                If I had to eat low fat and be thin or eat this way and keep the junk in the trunk, hands down I'd choose this. Thank goodness such food fantasticness is also good for weight loss. WOOT!
                I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


                • #9
                  BeachTeach...I am enjoying reading your posts. I had to smile when you were talking about putting on your wedding rings. I too am now able to slip them on in the morning where as prior to going primal I couldn't. Sometimes I could get them on later in the day but I was always to puffy in the morning. Some days I couldn't get them on at all & hated it cause I love my rings!

                  I also have the occasional leg cramps & oh. my. God. the pain!!! And oh yes...the toe curls...yuk!

                  loved the bananagasm!! that made me laugh out loud for real!

                  have a great evening & Grok on!
                  Goal: Don't worry be happy!


                  • #10
                    Hi PrimalCajun!

                    Glad you're enjoying reading along and that the bananagasm made you laugh. I just can't get over how *good* food tastes now, and I haven't been a packaged food eater for quite some time for the most part.

                    No leg cramps last night, but I woke up at 2:30 AM because my bladder was threatening to detonate. This, too, is new. Anyone else find they have to pee a lot more? I'm a frequent pee-er in general, but I could drink a full glass of water before bed and be fine and dandy until morning. I also find I have to go go go more during the day. Think I need to brush up on my pee-pee dance moves...maybe I'll stroll over to the Kindergarten area today during my lunch break to get some tips.

                    (A note: I think kinder teachers are the MOST AMAZING PEOPLE ONE THE PLANET. Kinders are scary. They always have that gelatinous green-yellow slime under their noses, cry a lot, and sometimes have accidents in their pants. Plus, I have no idea how anyone can teach them how to read~they have attention spans as small as gnats! Give me my big stinkies, the middle schoolers. Sure, they're surly and they smell...interesting, but they're funny and they don't wet their pants. Much.)

                    Getting ready for morning bacon and eggs. I get this garlic/olive oil/red pepper/herbs paste (not really paste, it's much creamier, but I don't know what to call it) at the farmer's market that I seriously could spoon straight out of the tub. I've been putting it on my eggs, and it soothes the loss of bread to balance out the egg taste. I'm going to figure out how to make it myself because $5/tub is an expensive habit unless I ration myself. I suppose they deserve that $5 though; SOMEONE has to peel all those garlic cloves, and that's a special bit of hell all in itself.

                    Grok on, y'all!
                    I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


                    • #11
                      I agree does taste better! I was telling GoLisaGo that I don't find I'm obessing over food like I have on other diets. I am always on the look out for good recipes that make it fun to eat this way! Going Primal is in no way boring I'm finding! Coming here to read what others are doing & how they are doing it also makes the whole process fun & an adventure! I still have to do some of the "packaged food" thing because hubby isn't on the bandwagon...& sometimes I just have to cook him something separate from what I'm going to eat. Oh well.

                      I agree with your statement...but think all teachers deserve major kudo's for teaching the kids of today.

                      oh yummmm...your 'paste' sounds delish! I'll bet you can figure out how to make it. It sounds almost like a pesto.

                      have a great evening!
                      Goal: Don't worry be happy!


                      • #12
                        What I love most about Mark's approach is the idea of an 80-20 lifestyle. While I really don't care to "cheat," I'm also not on board to get all underwear-up-the-crack-OCD about everything I put in my mouth. I think what's shifted for me this time is that I now feel like I'm fully in control of my choices, and so some of my choices are to eat what's on the naughty list.

                        My current approach is to allow that one night a week, whichever night we go out for dinner. Even then the idea is that I don't go face down in the dessert tray until I'm drooling and naked. I'm just not going to sweat it if I choose to have something I usually don't. Tonight was one of those nights, and it was totally worth it.

                        It's Restaurant Week here with all sorts of 3-course prix-fixe menu specials at a gazillion restaurants in town. It's a fun way to try a bunch of stuff at a reduced cost. My appetizer and entree were totally Paleo aside from the mashed potatoes on my dinner plate (and I didn't eat them bite, and totally not worth it). The appetizer was diver scallops in an olive oil, chili and garlic sauce with micro greens. I wanted to lick the plate, but the stodgy-looking older couple next to us already looked aghast by some of my vocabulary choices to express my love for the dish. My entree was a grass fed fillet mignon with a red wine reduction and some sort of creamy cheese on top that tasted like a cross between cream cheese and blue cheese. There was a beautiful side of roasted local organic veggies that I snarfed up I wished for more of. SO delish.

                        And dessert. Okay, y'all, this is no lie: it was jizz-in-your-pants delicious, and as desserts go, I think it was the best choice of the three. It was a flourless dark chocolate chipotle cake with a salted caramel drizzle and creme fraiche on top. Really, I do think it's the best dessert I've ever had. It was light and just melted in your mouth. The chef is a farm-to-table guy, focused on quality, local ingredients, so I know I didn't eat some cocoa-flavored cow pie; it's a better quality poison then, say, a Ho-Ho.

                        But here's the interesting thing: I had a few bites, and I was satiated. In the past I would have devoured it and left with chocolate all over my face. I've got the remainders in a take home box which I'll let hubby have since he's also a dark chocolate fan and he had a bit of dessert envy. His was fantastic too, but mine was just that much better.

                        I DO have a bit of a headache now which I suppose is the price I pay for the bit of sugar I had. In this case, it's worth it, and I think that's the yardstick for me. If I can set a boundary and make sure whatever I choose to eat is not slop but something really, really, REALLY delicious, then okay.

                        I'll probably have a little water weight tomorrow, but since I'm not weighing, I won't even notice. I'm drinking water right now to flush the system, and I'll easily be back to 100% clean eating tomorrow morning with some of my leftover filet along with my eggs. I also have a strength training session scheduled with my sad attempts at pull ups and teh ebil skwats that rendered me crippled for a couple of days earlier this week and a long walk scheduled for Sunday.

                        I'm really in no rush. The weight is coming off, it will continue to come off, and I CHOOSE to eat this way because it makes me feel better. Hubby doesn't mind my (in my mind, I'm really only 5'5", ~170lbs) Macy's Thanksgiving Day float resemblance, so I'm thinking as long as I'm getting steadily smaller and reach a point where I don't feel totally ridiculous in one of them Victoria's Secret contraptions sometime soon, it's all good.

                        Nighty-night, y'all!
                        I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


                        • #13
                          Too funny, BeachTeach!

                          I'm going to continue following this thread so I can get some laughs in during my Primal journey!


                          • #14
                            @PrimalCajun: I hear ya on the not obsessing about food thing. Before, I 'd already be thinking about what I was going to have for dinner in the middle of breakfast. I thought about food all the time. I'd think things like, "I can't have that," and immediately I'd feel deprived and end up stuffing my face with whatever that was eventually. Now I'm just looking for interesting recipes to broaden my flavors, especially with vegetables. Even though they initially scared the crap out of me because everyone always wrinkles up their nose like they smelled a juicy fart when they talk about them, I tried turnips and found that I love them. Mashed with cauliflower and some gravy from whatever roast I've cooked in the crockpot~LOVE. In fact, that's why I was sort of yawn-yawn with the mashed potatoes on my plate last night because they were just so darn bland in comparison.

                            @kgswenson: I'm glad I could give you a laugh! I think humor is an essential tool for life. I used to take everything waaay too seriously, especially food, and all that did was get me a big butt and a gut doing its best to follow in the booty's footsteps. Plus laughing relieves stress, and we know stress does yucky things that also affect weight in our bodies. So that's why I giggle my way through the pull ups because what's the use in beating myself up? It *is* funny. That's also why I sneak it in when my husband isn't around because that's the last picture I want in his head when it's time for sexy time. Good luck on your journey!

                            I'm paying for last night's sugar, and it's STILL worth it. I like that I made a good decision. Hubby has to sit on the far side of the couch though because my breath is steady bumpin' today and Captain Toothpaste was soundly defeated by whatever evil-doers have taken up residence on my tongue. Headache, a mild sore throat...yep, totally that sugar. I'll just water myself and flush it all out like a full-body colonic (which, by the way, I would never do let alone PAY someone else to do to me...just, eww. Out not in is my motto.)
                            Last edited by BeachTeach; 01-21-2012, 09:12 AM. Reason: Fix one of those to/too/two errors so I don't look like an imbecile
                            I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )


                            • #15
                              So, I went shopping yesterday, and something miraculous happened.

                              Usually when things don't fit or don't look good on me, my muppet unleashes a string of insults about too fat/too ugly/wrongwrongwrong. Generally I loathe shopping, and that's been the case whether I've been thin or sporting the extra 30-40 I am now.

                              You have to know I LOVELOVELOVE What Not to Wear. My greatest fantasy is that my students nominate me for my tragic overuse of black (both slimming AND hides the dribbles and drops of whatever I'm shoving into my mouth) and Stacy and Clinton pop into my classroom in the midst of a lesson on using strong verbs. Public mockery for a total makeover and $5000 worth of clothes? TOTALLY worth it IMHO.

                              In any case, I love their approach to working with women who aren't model thin. They say that you have to reframe your thoughts when something doesn't fit~it's the *clothes* that are wrong, not YOU. Something about that just makes sense to me.

                              So, I tried on 5 pairs of jeans and a bunch of tops in varying colors and styles, and when they didn't work~and in one case where I could barely pull the jeans up over my thighs~I just took them off and put them in the not pile. It was the least judgmental shopping trip of my life, and I was very happy to see I'm probably just a couple of weeks away from the lower size.

                              Now, I'm not ready to venture into swimsuit shopping. Not yet. Methinks the muppet will not be able to be muzzled and will scream out such obscenities as, "Cottage Cheese!!!" and "Sausage Legs!!!" or, "Watch it wiggle!!!" Yeah, not ready for that trip yet.

                              Making Paleo minestrone today, gonna let that sucker cook all day long. I'm pulling out a portion for the hubby before I add the meat in. Wish I could get him on Paleo too, but he believes his veggie diet is best for him while still supporting me, so I don't preach. Also going to get my hairs cut and another trip to the farmer's market once that's done. I *might* decide to wrangle the dust bunnies freely roaming my house, but aside from occasionally latching on to one of the cats, they're not much of a bother, so maybe not.

                              I'll post my review of the minestrone here after I slurp some up. Happy Sunday!
                              I blog about living life to the fullest at The Hairy Edge. Check it out! (Or not. We can still be friends. )